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T
Again, most of us define a nice guy as one with good intentions, but a man that has no, to little, backbone. I should know, I used to be one. As I've mentioned before, I'm aiming to be a more godly man than a nice man. Remember, the former is about being assertive but having confidence in Christ and godly integrity, the latter is about trying to please people and wanting to be accepted. It's about being passive and unassertive, it's about lacking confidence in Christ. That's what girls/women don't want - an unassertive partner. Still, I think guys and men in general, lack vision on what it means to be 'real'. There's a real need for male mentors to help guide younger men. We generally just don't have the ability to effectively communicate our hearts that girls/women do and have in place the support structures they do.
Ah, I see. The thing is, while her opinion on what a nice guy is good, it's not the only perspective of what a nice guy is, and it seems as though you have shot down all other definitions of "nice guy" that do not align with yours.
I, personally, think it's great to be a nice guy, but not the nice guy.
I'm not sure if you think it's a good thing or a bad thing...ha. But...you're welcome? 
I, personally, think it's great to be a nice guy, but not the nice guy.
Thanks for your input, Rachel! You're always there, wherever I comment or start a thread
Don't think I haven't noticed hehe
You're always there, wherever I comment or start a thread Don't think I haven't noticed hehe
A
Ah, I see. The thing is, while her opinion on what a nice guy is good, it's not the only perspective of what a nice guy is, and it seems as though you have shot down all other definitions of "nice guy" that do not align with yours.
I, personally, think it's great to be a nice guy, but not the nice guy.
I'm not sure if you think it's a good thing or a bad thing...ha. But...you're welcome?
I, personally, think it's great to be a nice guy, but not the nice guy.
I'm not sure if you think it's a good thing or a bad thing...ha. But...you're welcome?
"I, personally, think it's great to be a nice guy, but not the nice guy." ~ I ... don't know what you mean. But it doesn't matter. The discussion's been won hehe.
"I'm not sure if you think it's a good thing or a bad thing...ha." ~ I don't mind
I'm starting to like you and what you have to say.
"it's not the only perspective of what a nice guy is" ~ Well, let's not be wishy-washy; if her's is good, then let's leave it at that. I've actually seen no other good definition. I really think she's got it right on the money. And I really appreciate her giving a short testimony of her own experience. That's why she won
"I, personally, think it's great to be a nice guy, but not the nice guy." ~ I ... don't know what you mean. But it doesn't matter. The discussion's been won hehe.
"I'm not sure if you think it's a good thing or a bad thing...ha." ~ I don't mind I'm starting to like you and what you have to say.
"I, personally, think it's great to be a nice guy, but not the nice guy." ~ I ... don't know what you mean. But it doesn't matter. The discussion's been won hehe.
"I'm not sure if you think it's a good thing or a bad thing...ha." ~ I don't mind
I'm starting to like you and what you have to say.
Let's decode, shall we?
That is his definition. He doesn't care about anyone else's.
Again, he found a definition that he can see himself in. He doesn't want a discussion, an answer, or anything along those lines. These threads are jokes to him. He likes strife and stirs the pot.
I'm glad you finally got an answer that seemed to work for you, Art. I do think we could have come to a productive conclusion a lot sooner if you had given us your definition of the term "nice guy" closer to the beginning of the thread. I say this not to attack or discourage you.. it's just that as you can see, we have a variety of definitions represented in this thread alone. That said, I think I understand your definition now, but please correct me if I am wrong. You use the term "nice guy" the same way I might use the term "good, godly man", yes? A man who's striving to be like Christ? And the nice guy's opposite would be a secular, worldly man?
If that's the case, I'd like to try and answer your original questions now, but I hope you don't mind if I swap the term "nice guy" for "godly man". After all, according to your definition, that's really what you mean, right?
Are godly men finishing last in the Christian culture?
I don't believe they are, and I sure hope I'm not wrong about this! I don't live in a very densely populated community, so maybe I'm just lacking exposure, but in my experience I have seen quite a high number of godly men pursue and win the hearts of godly women. Then again, my church really emphasizes godly masculinity and we have a very healthy and thriving young adult/singles ministry that has produced a lot of marriages, so that could contribute to my opinion as well.
Should they be finishing last with Christian women?
No, they shouldn't. If a woman is in love first and foremost with Christ Himself, she will naturally be drawn to men who exhibit Christ-like qualities.
Why don't Christian women like godly men?
Generally speaking, I don't think that Christian women don't like godly men. BUT, all of us, men and women, are fallen sinners who are vulnerable to attacks from the enemy and to many temptations of this world. Proverbs is full of warnings to a young man against worldly women, but the same principles apply in the opposite direction. If a woman does not heed the wisdom that is in God's Word as well as passed on to her from older sisters in Christ, her priorities may fall out of line and she may easily be deceived into thinking that worldly men are more attractive.
If Christian women are not interested in godly men, but worldly men instead, then who is to blame: the guys or the girls?
I don't really think we need to assign blame. On the one hand, you could say it's all the women's fault, because she *should* be looking for a man who loves the Lord. On the other hand, lets say the majority of "Christian" men in a particular woman's life are in fact living a more worldly lifestyle, then the woman may become discouraged and assume there's not that much difference between self-proclaimed "godly men" and the men of the world. I think women (and obviously I'm preaching to myself here, too) need to guard their hearts against worldly temptations, and one of the best ways to do that is to let the Word and her relationship with Christ "renew her mind" (Romans 12:2) as far as what qualities she considers attractive in a man. In the same way, men who claim to love the Lord need to also remain rooted in God's Word and His ways, and do their best to not waver from that, even if they DO get rejected by Christian women. These things can only be done by the strength that comes from Christ alone.
Are we "godly men" because we are devoted to Jesus, and not in pleasing the feminine lusts of the flesh?
Not quite sure what you mean by "feminine lusts of the flesh", but a man devoted to pleasing Christ rather than other people (women included) is certainly a godly man.
Thanks for your thoughts and questions, Art. God bless
That said, I think I understand your definition now, but please correct me if I am wrong. You use the term "nice guy" the same way I might use the term "good, godly man", yes? A man who's striving to be like Christ? And the nice guy's opposite would be a secular, worldly man? If that's the case, I'd like to try and answer your original questions now, but I hope you don't mind if I swap the term "nice guy" for "godly man". After all, according to your definition, that's really what you mean, right?
Are godly men finishing last in the Christian culture?
I don't believe they are, and I sure hope I'm not wrong about this! I don't live in a very densely populated community, so maybe I'm just lacking exposure, but in my experience I have seen quite a high number of godly men pursue and win the hearts of godly women. Then again, my church really emphasizes godly masculinity and we have a very healthy and thriving young adult/singles ministry that has produced a lot of marriages, so that could contribute to my opinion as well.
Should they be finishing last with Christian women?
No, they shouldn't. If a woman is in love first and foremost with Christ Himself, she will naturally be drawn to men who exhibit Christ-like qualities.
Why don't Christian women like godly men?
Generally speaking, I don't think that Christian women don't like godly men. BUT, all of us, men and women, are fallen sinners who are vulnerable to attacks from the enemy and to many temptations of this world. Proverbs is full of warnings to a young man against worldly women, but the same principles apply in the opposite direction. If a woman does not heed the wisdom that is in God's Word as well as passed on to her from older sisters in Christ, her priorities may fall out of line and she may easily be deceived into thinking that worldly men are more attractive.
If Christian women are not interested in godly men, but worldly men instead, then who is to blame: the guys or the girls?
I don't really think we need to assign blame. On the one hand, you could say it's all the women's fault, because she *should* be looking for a man who loves the Lord. On the other hand, lets say the majority of "Christian" men in a particular woman's life are in fact living a more worldly lifestyle, then the woman may become discouraged and assume there's not that much difference between self-proclaimed "godly men" and the men of the world. I think women (and obviously I'm preaching to myself here, too) need to guard their hearts against worldly temptations, and one of the best ways to do that is to let the Word and her relationship with Christ "renew her mind" (Romans 12:2) as far as what qualities she considers attractive in a man. In the same way, men who claim to love the Lord need to also remain rooted in God's Word and His ways, and do their best to not waver from that, even if they DO get rejected by Christian women. These things can only be done by the strength that comes from Christ alone.
Are we "godly men" because we are devoted to Jesus, and not in pleasing the feminine lusts of the flesh?
Not quite sure what you mean by "feminine lusts of the flesh", but a man devoted to pleasing Christ rather than other people (women included) is certainly a godly man.
Thanks for your thoughts and questions, Art. God bless
R
I cheerfully agreed with everything up until ...
"Some of the OP questions are based on the assumption that all Christian women think nice guys finish last, which isn't true." ~ ... sigh. Oh my goodness. Alright: NOT TRUE. THIS IS NOT TRUE. STOP BELIEVING THIS, BECAUSE IT IS NOT TRUE. ... [ahem] There, problem solved Again, the questions are in a form of a questionnaire, and that is it. No assumptions, no intentions, no nada. Just some simple questions.
"Then he claims that it isn't a generalization, but a question." ~ ... I did? Okay then lol.
"But the question is already based on a generalization." ~ Oh wow ... it is? The poor question .... And it'd be nice if I knew which question she was referring to, but I guess that doesn't matter, because of [insert overthought excuse meant to stall any answer and derail the topic here], and also because of [insert bulverism here].
lol Okay, I admit, I'm having fun with this.
"Some of the OP questions are based on the assumption that all Christian women think nice guys finish last, which isn't true." ~ ... sigh. Oh my goodness. Alright: NOT TRUE. THIS IS NOT TRUE. STOP BELIEVING THIS, BECAUSE IT IS NOT TRUE. ... [ahem] There, problem solved
Again, the questions are in a form of a questionnaire, and that is it. No assumptions, no intentions, no nada. Just some simple questions."Then he claims that it isn't a generalization, but a question." ~ ... I did? Okay then lol.
"But the question is already based on a generalization." ~ Oh wow ... it is? The poor question .... And it'd be nice if I knew which question she was referring to, but I guess that doesn't matter, because of [insert overthought excuse meant to stall any answer and derail the topic here], and also because of [insert bulverism here].
lol Okay, I admit, I'm having fun with this.
If I misunderstood, then I misunderstood. It's not that big a deal. No need to snap.
I'm suddenly really uncomfortable being on this thread.
A
I'm glad you finally got an answer that seemed to work for you, Art. I do think we could have come to a productive conclusion a lot sooner if you had given us your definition of the term "nice guy" closer to the beginning of the thread. I say this not to attack or discourage you.. it's just that as you can see, we have a variety of definitions represented in this thread alone. That said, I think I understand your definition now, but please correct me if I am wrong. You use the term "nice guy" the same way I might use the term "good, godly man", yes? A man who's striving to be like Christ? And the nice guy's opposite would be a secular, worldly man?
If that's the case, I'd like to try and answer your original questions now, but I hope you don't mind if I swap the term "nice guy" for "godly man". After all, according to your definition, that's really what you mean, right?
Are godly men finishing last in the Christian culture?
I don't believe they are, and I sure hope I'm not wrong about this! I don't live in a very densely populated community, so maybe I'm just lacking exposure, but in my experience I have seen quite a high number of godly men pursue and win the hearts of godly women. Then again, my church really emphasizes godly masculinity and we have a very healthy and thriving young adult/singles ministry that has produced a lot of marriages, so that could contribute to my opinion as well.
Should they be finishing last with Christian women?
No, they shouldn't. If a woman is in love first and foremost with Christ Himself, she will naturally be drawn to men who exhibit Christ-like qualities.
Why don't Christian women like godly men?
Generally speaking, I don't think that Christian women don't like godly men. BUT, all of us, men and women, are fallen sinners who are vulnerable to attacks from the enemy and to many temptations of this world. Proverbs is full of warnings to a young man against worldly women, but the same principles apply in the opposite direction. If a woman does not heed the wisdom that is in God's Word as well as passed on to her from older sisters in Christ, her priorities may fall out of line and she may easily be deceived into thinking that worldly men are more attractive.
If Christian women are not interested in godly men, but worldly men instead, then who is to blame: the guys or the girls?
I don't really think we need to assign blame. On the one hand, you could say it's all the women's fault, because she *should* be looking for a man who loves the Lord. On the other hand, lets say the majority of "Christian" men in a particular woman's life are in fact living a more worldly lifestyle, then the woman may become discouraged and assume there's not that much difference between self-proclaimed "godly men" and the men of the world. I think women (and obviously I'm preaching to myself here, too) need to guard their hearts against worldly temptations, and one of the best ways to do that is to let the Word and her relationship with Christ "renew her mind" (Romans 12:2) as far as what qualities she considers attractive in a man. In the same way, men who claim to love the Lord need to also remain rooted in God's Word and His ways, and do their best to not waver from that, even if they DO get rejected by Christian women. These things can only be done by the strength that comes from Christ alone.
Are we "godly men" because we are devoted to Jesus, and not in pleasing the feminine lusts of the flesh?
Not quite sure what you mean by "feminine lusts of the flesh", but a man devoted to pleasing Christ rather than other people (women included) is certainly a godly man.
Thanks for your thoughts and questions, Art. God bless
That said, I think I understand your definition now, but please correct me if I am wrong. You use the term "nice guy" the same way I might use the term "good, godly man", yes? A man who's striving to be like Christ? And the nice guy's opposite would be a secular, worldly man? If that's the case, I'd like to try and answer your original questions now, but I hope you don't mind if I swap the term "nice guy" for "godly man". After all, according to your definition, that's really what you mean, right?
Are godly men finishing last in the Christian culture?
I don't believe they are, and I sure hope I'm not wrong about this! I don't live in a very densely populated community, so maybe I'm just lacking exposure, but in my experience I have seen quite a high number of godly men pursue and win the hearts of godly women. Then again, my church really emphasizes godly masculinity and we have a very healthy and thriving young adult/singles ministry that has produced a lot of marriages, so that could contribute to my opinion as well.
Should they be finishing last with Christian women?
No, they shouldn't. If a woman is in love first and foremost with Christ Himself, she will naturally be drawn to men who exhibit Christ-like qualities.
Why don't Christian women like godly men?
Generally speaking, I don't think that Christian women don't like godly men. BUT, all of us, men and women, are fallen sinners who are vulnerable to attacks from the enemy and to many temptations of this world. Proverbs is full of warnings to a young man against worldly women, but the same principles apply in the opposite direction. If a woman does not heed the wisdom that is in God's Word as well as passed on to her from older sisters in Christ, her priorities may fall out of line and she may easily be deceived into thinking that worldly men are more attractive.
If Christian women are not interested in godly men, but worldly men instead, then who is to blame: the guys or the girls?
I don't really think we need to assign blame. On the one hand, you could say it's all the women's fault, because she *should* be looking for a man who loves the Lord. On the other hand, lets say the majority of "Christian" men in a particular woman's life are in fact living a more worldly lifestyle, then the woman may become discouraged and assume there's not that much difference between self-proclaimed "godly men" and the men of the world. I think women (and obviously I'm preaching to myself here, too) need to guard their hearts against worldly temptations, and one of the best ways to do that is to let the Word and her relationship with Christ "renew her mind" (Romans 12:2) as far as what qualities she considers attractive in a man. In the same way, men who claim to love the Lord need to also remain rooted in God's Word and His ways, and do their best to not waver from that, even if they DO get rejected by Christian women. These things can only be done by the strength that comes from Christ alone.
Are we "godly men" because we are devoted to Jesus, and not in pleasing the feminine lusts of the flesh?
Not quite sure what you mean by "feminine lusts of the flesh", but a man devoted to pleasing Christ rather than other people (women included) is certainly a godly man.
Thanks for your thoughts and questions, Art. God bless
Thank you for your perspective! Very well written, and very wise indeed. I won't add anymore, because I really appreciate your sweetness and your sincerity.
God bless you! My prayer is for God to send you the man of your desires, since your desires are clearly focused on pleasing the Lord.
K
I'm glad you finally got an answer that seemed to work for you, Art. I do think we could have come to a productive conclusion a lot sooner if you had given us your definition of the term "nice guy" closer to the beginning of the thread. I say this not to attack or discourage you.. it's just that as you can see, we have a variety of definitions represented in this thread alone. That said, I think I understand your definition now, but please correct me if I am wrong. You use the term "nice guy" the same way I might use the term "good, godly man", yes? A man who's striving to be like Christ? And the nice guy's opposite would be a secular, worldly man?
If that's the case, I'd like to try and answer your original questions now, but I hope you don't mind if I swap the term "nice guy" for "godly man". After all, according to your definition, that's really what you mean, right?
Are godly men finishing last in the Christian culture?
I don't believe they are, and I sure hope I'm not wrong about this! I don't live in a very densely populated community, so maybe I'm just lacking exposure, but in my experience I have seen quite a high number of godly men pursue and win the hearts of godly women. Then again, my church really emphasizes godly masculinity and we have a very healthy and thriving young adult/singles ministry that has produced a lot of marriages, so that could contribute to my opinion as well.
Should they be finishing last with Christian women?
No, they shouldn't. If a woman is in love first and foremost with Christ Himself, she will naturally be drawn to men who exhibit Christ-like qualities.
Why don't Christian women like godly men?
Generally speaking, I don't think that Christian women don't like godly men. BUT, all of us, men and women, are fallen sinners who are vulnerable to attacks from the enemy and to many temptations of this world. Proverbs is full of warnings to a young man against worldly women, but the same principles apply in the opposite direction. If a woman does not heed the wisdom that is in God's Word as well as passed on to her from older sisters in Christ, her priorities may fall out of line and she may easily be deceived into thinking that worldly men are more attractive.
If Christian women are not interested in godly men, but worldly men instead, then who is to blame: the guys or the girls?
I don't really think we need to assign blame. On the one hand, you could say it's all the women's fault, because she *should* be looking for a man who loves the Lord. On the other hand, lets say the majority of "Christian" men in a particular woman's life are in fact living a more worldly lifestyle, then the woman may become discouraged and assume there's not that much difference between self-proclaimed "godly men" and the men of the world. I think women (and obviously I'm preaching to myself here, too) need to guard their hearts against worldly temptations, and one of the best ways to do that is to let the Word and her relationship with Christ "renew her mind" (Romans 12:2) as far as what qualities she considers attractive in a man. In the same way, men who claim to love the Lord need to also remain rooted in God's Word and His ways, and do their best to not waver from that, even if they DO get rejected by Christian women. These things can only be done by the strength that comes from Christ alone.
Are we "godly men" because we are devoted to Jesus, and not in pleasing the feminine lusts of the flesh?
Not quite sure what you mean by "feminine lusts of the flesh", but a man devoted to pleasing Christ rather than other people (women included) is certainly a godly man.
Thanks for your thoughts and questions, Art. God bless
That said, I think I understand your definition now, but please correct me if I am wrong. You use the term "nice guy" the same way I might use the term "good, godly man", yes? A man who's striving to be like Christ? And the nice guy's opposite would be a secular, worldly man? If that's the case, I'd like to try and answer your original questions now, but I hope you don't mind if I swap the term "nice guy" for "godly man". After all, according to your definition, that's really what you mean, right?
Are godly men finishing last in the Christian culture?
I don't believe they are, and I sure hope I'm not wrong about this! I don't live in a very densely populated community, so maybe I'm just lacking exposure, but in my experience I have seen quite a high number of godly men pursue and win the hearts of godly women. Then again, my church really emphasizes godly masculinity and we have a very healthy and thriving young adult/singles ministry that has produced a lot of marriages, so that could contribute to my opinion as well.
Should they be finishing last with Christian women?
No, they shouldn't. If a woman is in love first and foremost with Christ Himself, she will naturally be drawn to men who exhibit Christ-like qualities.
Why don't Christian women like godly men?
Generally speaking, I don't think that Christian women don't like godly men. BUT, all of us, men and women, are fallen sinners who are vulnerable to attacks from the enemy and to many temptations of this world. Proverbs is full of warnings to a young man against worldly women, but the same principles apply in the opposite direction. If a woman does not heed the wisdom that is in God's Word as well as passed on to her from older sisters in Christ, her priorities may fall out of line and she may easily be deceived into thinking that worldly men are more attractive.
If Christian women are not interested in godly men, but worldly men instead, then who is to blame: the guys or the girls?
I don't really think we need to assign blame. On the one hand, you could say it's all the women's fault, because she *should* be looking for a man who loves the Lord. On the other hand, lets say the majority of "Christian" men in a particular woman's life are in fact living a more worldly lifestyle, then the woman may become discouraged and assume there's not that much difference between self-proclaimed "godly men" and the men of the world. I think women (and obviously I'm preaching to myself here, too) need to guard their hearts against worldly temptations, and one of the best ways to do that is to let the Word and her relationship with Christ "renew her mind" (Romans 12:2) as far as what qualities she considers attractive in a man. In the same way, men who claim to love the Lord need to also remain rooted in God's Word and His ways, and do their best to not waver from that, even if they DO get rejected by Christian women. These things can only be done by the strength that comes from Christ alone.
Are we "godly men" because we are devoted to Jesus, and not in pleasing the feminine lusts of the flesh?
Not quite sure what you mean by "feminine lusts of the flesh", but a man devoted to pleasing Christ rather than other people (women included) is certainly a godly man.
Thanks for your thoughts and questions, Art. God bless
In my opinion, this answers all questions. You go, girl!
T
Well, geez... my bad for trying to be nice to even the people who 'whine and 'complain'.
That says that I'm an idiot who deserves to spend an extra decade in Purgatory if I end up there. Thank you for implying that I'm an idiot who posts useless replies.
Well, I was just in a good mood. I'm sorry for ruining your day.
Hey, moderators! May you please delete my post on page 5, at the bottom? I agree with Ugly, it's useless and shouldn't be there.
That's right on the money!
That says that I'm an idiot who deserves to spend an extra decade in Purgatory if I end up there. Thank you for implying that I'm an idiot who posts useless replies.
Well, I was just in a good mood. I'm sorry for ruining your day.
Hey, moderators! May you please delete my post on page 5, at the bottom? I agree with Ugly, it's useless and shouldn't be there.
That's right on the money!
Last edited by a moderator: