Is it weird being single after 20 ?

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jason4567

Guest
#1
#1
I am 23 and single.I have never dated any one.Is it kinda weird not having any girlfriend when you get 20's?
I don't know how to put this exactly,According to the bible If a man want to stay single for his entire life he can, as long as he doesn't disobey the law.Well I am perfectly happy being single(I don't like going for a random girl like my friends.I can wait and I want to do it in god's way rather than my way, I don't wanna rush,getting the right person is the most important thing in life) But the problem is, I really don't like the way that other people think about me or people like me.They think like I am incapable of getting a girl even though I am 23 and I wanna know Is this just me who feel like this? or Is there anyone with me?).
 
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Tintin

Guest
#2
#2
30, never dated either. Stop bothering with what other people think of you and look for your confidence and strength in Christ. Learn to be happy with who God made you to be and you'll have a much more positive outlook on life. You'll be fine.
 
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GaryA

Guest
#3
#3
Try "after 50"...

It has been a lonely life.

I have dated; however, I have not found 'the one' yet...

( Or, as I like to say sometimes, "we have not found each other, yet"... )

You are on the right track - doing it God's way is important.

"Hang in there..."

:)
 
rachelsedge

rachelsedge

Senior Member
#4
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
81
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#4
I'm 23 and have never been in a relationship, and many others (as Tintin has already mentioned) are in the same boat. You're less alone than you think. :)

Besides, it's better to wait and be considered "weird" by the world's standards (which are not God's standards and therefore shouldn't matter to us, yet sometimes they do) than to date just for the sake of dating/having a relationship and then have all kinds of heartache and messes.
 
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Tintin

Guest
#5
#5
We're all in the same boat? It's getting a bit crowded here! I'll make a coracle and chill out behind the boat.
 
JesusChica1991

JesusChica1991

Banned
#6
May 9, 2012
1,514
25
0
#6
Nope it's not unique. In America, people are getting married later in life or putting aside serious relationships until after they establish their careers.
 
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Art05

Guest
#7
#7
jason4567 said:
I am 23 and single.I have never dated any one.Is it kinda weird not having any girlfriend when you get 20's?
I don't know how to put this exactly,According to the bible If a man want to stay single for his entire life he can, as long as he doesn't disobey the law.Well I am perfectly happy being single(I don't like going for a random girl like my friends.I can wait and I want to do it in god's way rather than my way, I don't wanna rush,getting the right person is the most important thing in life) But the problem is, I really don't like the way that other people think about me or people like me.They think like I am incapable of getting a girl even though I am 23 and I wanna know Is this just me who feel like this? or Is there anyone with me?).
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We're in the same boat, brother.

For me, I feel particularly sad and left out, because the majority of the married couples in my church (and that's pretty much what my whole church is composed of, married couples lol) met and married at my age or younger.

Even my parents (who aren't Christians and do not attend any church) were married by now, and had my sister. Needless to say, my mom's pretty fed up with me being single lol

People in my church throw this at me: "You need to get married, boy." haha Like if I can go to the store and pick up a girl.

They see that I'm poor. "You need a better job, boy." haha But what they fail to realize is that they only reason they (the men, of course) got their high paying jobs was to support their families. I don't have to support anyone but myself, and I'm particularly frugal. A family you love is a good push in the right direction, right? Alongside this they say, "Go to college, boy." lol As if it was that easy.

Not to mention the fact that I don't even really know any Christian girl my age in this area, and this is the only place I can be. I guess my pastor and others have already realized this, and just feel bad for me.

So I'm single against my will lol.

So no, you're not alone. And don't let anyone tell you that all you need to do is "get closer to God and things will just work out", or "Just change your *perspective* and think positively" [whatever that means]. Many people on here will try to throw you placebos, so beware of them.
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#8
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#8
Art05 said:
We're in the same boat, brother.

For me, I feel particularly sad and left out, because the majority of the married couples in my church (and that's pretty much what my whole church is composed of, married couples lol) met and married at my age or younger.

Even my parents (who aren't Christians and do not attend any church) were married by now, and had my sister. Needless to say, my mom's pretty fed up with me being single lol

People in my church throw this at me: "You need to get married, boy." haha Like if I can go to the store and pick up a girl.

They see that I'm poor. "You need a better job, boy." haha But what they fail to realize is that they only reason they (the men, of course) got their high paying jobs was to support their families. I don't have to support anyone but myself, and I'm particularly frugal. A family you love is a good push in the right direction, right? Alongside this they say, "Go to college, boy." lol As if it was that easy.

Not to mention the fact that I don't even really know any Christian girl my age in this area, and this is the only place I can be. I guess my pastor and others have already realized this, and just feel bad for me.

So I'm single against my will lol.

So no, you're not alone. And don't let anyone tell you that all you need to do is "get closer to God and things will just work out", or "Just change your *perspective* and think positively" [whatever that means]. Many people on here will try to throw you placebos, so beware of them.
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I used to get comments like that when I was single. It taught me not to say much about another's personal life. I know people mean well but those comments can be hurtful to some.

Art you're 24. You're young and love can happen at any age. I'm sure you pray about it. Just know that there isn't anything wrong with being single it doesn't mean there is something wrong with you. Some people chose to be single.

God Bless you
 
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Relena7

Guest
#9
#9
It isn't that unusual, no.

Some people might be made to feel that way, like some of the posters above me said, where family and church people make comments about it all the time. But they need to butt out and stop caring so much about your relationship status. If your singleness doesn't bother you, then it shouldn't bother them.

Sure a good relationship has its rewards, but there are plenty of ways for singles to fulfill their lives too. Relationships can be distracting, they can distract you from school or your job or your hobbies, and more and more 20somethings are staying single for longer in these times.
 
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ServantStrike

Guest
#10
#10
Tintin said:
We're all in the same boat? It's getting a bit crowded here! I'll make a coracle and chill out behind the boat.
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I had to look that up.

Apparently it's more popular in certain areas of the world. Around here we'd call that a dingy.
 
rachelsedge

rachelsedge

Senior Member
#11
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
81
48
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#11
ServantStrike said:
I had to look that up.

Apparently it's more popular in certain areas of the world. Around here we'd call that a dingy.
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I wouldn't know to call it a dingy, either. I would've called it a basket boat...
 
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Imperfect

Guest
#12
#12
not at all. im 26 and single. well.. 26 in a couple weeks. nothing wrong with wanting to be faithful to Jesus and avoid the worldly lusts.
 
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lotusflower

Guest
#13
#13
That is very wise - if you are not a complete person only by being with God then you should probably not date , cause there Will be heartaches .
 
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arb71

Guest
#14
#14
I'm single at 42 and have to deal with the constant ridiculous questions as to why. I've gone through (and still do) many thinking offensive things about me (including family), but so long as God knows how I live, which He does, I no longer worry about what others think of me still being single.
 
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FireWire

Guest
#15
#15
Tintin said:
30, never dated either. Stop bothering with what other people think of you and look for your confidence and strength in Christ. Learn to be happy with who God made you to be and you'll have a much more positive outlook on life. You'll be fine.
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This is exactly what I did.

Now I'm not interested in having a relationship and have no desire to get married.
 
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ServantStrike

Guest
#16
#16
rachelsedge said:
I wouldn't know to call it a dingy, either. I would've called it a basket boat...
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It's smaller than a dingy isn't it?

Tintin, your knees will be in your face brother!
 
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FireWire

Guest
#17
#17
arb71 said:
I'm single at 42 and have to deal with the constant ridiculous questions as to why. I've gone through (and still do) many thinking offensive things about me (including family), but so long as God knows how I live, which He does, I no longer worry about what others think of me still being single.
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Yup had that too. Some of it cuts to the core. It's not so bad now because nobody can force me to get out of the single state. They know this so they don't bother anymore. I could probably say I've won the war but that would be gloating.
 
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Shouryu

Guest
#18
#18
No one else sees the silliness of asking this question here? It's a silly question to ask here. It really is.

Next, let's go to a grocery store where people shop, and ask, "Hey, is it weird to shop for groceries?"

Then go to a race track and ask, "Hey, is it weird to race cars?"

Visit a church, "Hey, is it weird to go to church?"

Drop by a nudist colony. "Hey, is it weird to be a nudist?"

I mean, you're going to come into a community that's ALMOST exclusively made up of single 20-plusses, and ask if the VERY thing that makes us a community...is weird? Uh...no. To us...it's normal. If it wasn't, we wouldn't have enough people to make a community.
 
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colalella2891

Guest
#20
#20
I'm 22, and I don't have a girlfriend. I haven't had one since I was 14. It's not the end of the world. There are times where i'm bummed about it too, but we're still young, so we have the rest of our lives to find someone.

There are a few people at this church that my sister has been going to who got married when they were 19 or 20. They had kids right away, and they're not even 25 yet. Apparently they're having a mid-life crisis already...

Getting hitched at such a young age isn't always how it looks. I'm waiting on God, getting that intimate relationship with Him, and i'm not gonna date until i'm ready. So it's not weird at all to wait as long as you need to.
 
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