Courting vs. Dating. Which are you for doing when you meet someone special ? Why? :-)

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Courting or Dating. Which is your pick for a relationsihp? That is the question :=)

  • Courting and I am a guy

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Dating and I am a guy

    Votes: 5 21.7%
  • Courting and I am a girl

    Votes: 8 34.8%
  • Dating and I am a girl

    Votes: 6 26.1%
  • Neither. I want to be just friends, but, people not present, but NO physical contact ever either bes

    Votes: 4 17.4%

  • Total voters
    23
R

Relena7

Guest
#21
Dating.

I'm not that familiar with the whole courting mentality, but it creeps me out slightly, I'll leave it at that.
 

mystdancer50

Senior Member
Feb 26, 2012
2,522
50
48
#22
Courting is:
Courtship takes the position that the two people have no physical contact at all (no touching, no hand-holding, no kissing) until marriage. Many in a courtship relationship will not spend any time together unless family members, preferably parents, are present at all times. In addition, courting couples state up front that their intentions are to see if the other person is a suitable potential marriage partner. Courtship advocates claim that courtship allows for the two people to truly get to know each other in a more platonic setting without the pressures of physical intimacy or emotions clouding their view. (from gotanswers.org)
This is essentially what I believe. One must understand, however, that the reason I believe in no physical contact whatsoever during the courtship and never being alone until the wedding night as a soon to be 34 year old woman is because it is what God has called me to when He called me to radical purity. This doesn't mean that when I see other chaste couples holding hands or being alone that they are wrong or that I look down on them. What matters most in anything in this world is what God says and thinks. What does He want you to do, and not want you to do, when dating/courting? If you don't know that and haven't established boundaries before you are in a relationship, I daresay you are doing it wrong. :)

Jesus revealed to me awhile back that I have to accept whatever level of purity others accept, beginning with the basic "waiting until marriage to have sex" level. :) Everyone holds a different standard of purity in their minds and has a different view of things in regards to relationships. Very few will strive for the level spoken about here. That is neither right nor wrong. I truly think one must at least wait for marriage to engage in sexual activity if they profess to be a Christian. That is the starting place and you build on that.

Does that make sense? :) Things make sense in my head, but not always out in black and white.
 

alexis

Banned by Admin Team (verified fraud)
Dec 5, 2013
501
23
0
#23
I wanted to clarify how I see courting. Yes chaperoned is the point. I don't mean to say that dating is wrong.
Just I'm not sure it would set the boundaries that I need set to feel comfortable.

Thing is I'm not meaning it formal. Just want a resposable person who will hold us accountable present. Not that we can't hold ourselves accountable. Who knows I have years until I feel I am ready to date.

There is no right or wrong answer to this... As long as you do either in a way pleasing to Christ.
 
A

Art05

Guest
#24
And I ... I ....

I'm confused about the whole thing :(
 
K

kenthomas27

Guest
#25
Pepe Le Pew dates

Yosemite Sam mates

Buggs Bunny debates

Daffy Duck berates

kenthomas relates
 
C

Coil

Guest
#26
I find courting a little outdated as well. I think it could still work in today's world with some modifications, but I don't desire it for myself. I think it might work better for younger people and/or people with very strong Christian families.

I had one relationship where we always spent time with other people (mostly friends, not family), and it took us a few months, when we were finally alone for an extended time, to realize we didn't have much in common. How sad would that be if we were in a courtship that ended in marriage, having never spent time alone together? In the true definition of courting, you're always supervised. I think it's really hard to ask personal, intimate questions with others listening/watching.

In terms of temptation while dating, I think if you have two mature, steadfast and wise Christians in a relationship, you can make boundaries and avoid situations where temptation might occur, which will be different for everyone.
 
G

GreenNnice

Guest
#27
This is essentially what I believe. One must understand, however, that the reason I believe in no physical contact whatsoever during the courtship and never being alone until the wedding night as a soon to be 34 year old woman is because it is what God has called me to when He called me to radical purity. This doesn't mean that when I see other chaste couples holding hands or being alone that they are wrong or that I look down on them. What matters most in anything in this world is what God says and thinks. What does He want you to do, and not want you to do, when dating/courting? If you don't know that and haven't established boundaries before you are in a relationship, I daresay you are doing it wrong. :)

Jesus revealed to me awhile back that I have to accept whatever level of purity others accept, beginning with the basic "waiting until marriage to have sex" level. :) Everyone holds a different standard of purity in their minds and has a different view of things in regards to relationships. Very few will strive for the level spoken about here. That is neither right nor wrong. I truly think one must at least wait for marriage to engage in sexual activity if they profess to be a Christian. That is the starting place and you build on that.

Does that make sense? :) Things make sense in my head, but not always out in black and white.
Great, you want to follow the Lord, I'm not thinking it's my first choice, my poll answer was 'friends, just hand holding' option, but, yeah, I could see courtship working, or, "radical purity" as you call it, mystydancer. The Lord leads. The important thing is following Christ for our life and we all are called differently by Him to do things for His glory that will bless us. :)

And I ... I ....

I'm confused about the whole thing :(
Confused about courting is dating with parents or family or friends always present, only holding hands, no kissing or affection shown physcially until you are married.
Dating is being alone and just not going all the way in the relationship.
Friends is being able to see the person liked while being alone with the person, but is basically doing things like courting does

I find courting a little outdated as well. I think it could still work in today's world with some modifications, but I don't desire it for myself. I think it might work better for younger people and/or people with very strong Christian families.

I had one relationship where we always spent time with other people (mostly friends, not family), and it took us a few months, when we were finally alone for an extended time, to realize we didn't have much in common. How sad would that be if we were in a courtship that ended in marriage, having never spent time alone together? In the true definition of courting, you're always supervised. I think it's really hard to ask personal, intimate questions with others listening/watching.

In terms of temptation while dating, I think if you have two mature, steadfast and wise Christians in a relationship, you can make boundaries and avoid situations where temptation might occur, which will be different for everyone.
I agree, I chose 'friends,' for that reason.
The logistics of courtship seem both outdated and just not easy to do, as you have to continue to schedule dates when a friend is going to be around, or, parents, or, relative (aunt, uncle).

I think, the Lord in us should be the strength of His Spirit that keeps us from going too far and just on a purely real standpoint, you just have to go into the relationship with the absolute positive mindset that you WILL do things as God wants done. :)
 

Nautilus

Senior Member
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
53
48
#28
Im definitely on the dating side. Courting just doesnt sound like me at all. Also it isnt any more biblical than dating in my eyes anyways. Just cause you date doesnt mean you have to go beyond boundaries or anything and dating is far more relaxed. Plus I'm thirty...what is my mom going to supervise us? It's not the middle school dance.
 
G

GreenNnice

Guest
#29
Im definitely on the dating side. Courting just doesnt sound like me at all. Also it isnt any more biblical than dating in my eyes anyways. Just cause you date doesnt mean you have to go beyond boundaries or anything and dating is far more relaxed. Plus I'm thirty...what is my mom going to supervise us? It's not the middle school dance.
What about being friends and not ever calling it 'dating,' nautilus, there is a third option for you :)

Also, this would enhance the thread , perhaps, if people want to give reasons that have not yet for why they chose courting over dating or vice versa, or, like me, chose being a friend that would hold hands, maybe, a peck on the cheek every once in awhile, because , the Lord leads, and, affection is important.

I think, coilgoil, sprung some good points for why courting is a bit old-fashioned. Naut, too, gives some good reasons why it's not perfect at certain ages, like 30 , I think, that two then can be on their own.

but, if you want to add to the thread, and, thanks to naut and coilgoil, but, let's just say how old you think someone should be before courting is no longer an option for how you get to know someone in a relationship-courting, dating, friend. :)
 
I

isaria

Guest
#30
I choose courting.


I do not want to court but be courted by the gentleman I agree upon.

Some way of courting one does not even meet close but always keeps away from another and never actually touches each other in body to body in any way shape or form nor does one socialise in normal ways (not as friends would either).
One has "aprons" as (such as parents friends) aswell as keeps a distance.
Or communicated with help of devices.

One may possibly kiss but only via spirit or without the bodies so to say. lol

A man has been courting me for over a year on and off.
He always comes back to me but we never met and although some said he with other woman i do not beleive them.
Maybe im naive.
We never even met in time.
He came to me as a catholic man he said but the catholic people were really bad to me and did not welcome me but were not nice.
Then when i was christened a time name they forsed me have another name and be another son and i refused so they shadowed me and were more threatening.
I left church and christianity after way they treated me.



Another man proposed many yrs and i always said no.He was not nice and his already married and she was awful to me and i did not know why but apparently he wanted to marry me and her and i always said no.
Not mentioning the evil they did to me and how much they stole from me.
i did not like them and i dont want to wear burka , be shadowed or abused or slave , gimp or etc .

I must speak with the good jesus and find way and faith back.


One husband for me only who want one wife and not many times other woman.....


If some one court me i may court back by show appreciation such as organise food for he.
If im not seeing him in the flesh then i can make arrangements to have food served for him or have a message given or something else sweet.
 

Descyple

Senior Member
Jun 7, 2010
3,023
48
48
#31
I once went on date with a woman who believed in courting.

The date ended with me going in for a kiss, and she stopped me and handed me a pre-written "court-ordered" restraining order against me!!!

I didn't realize she meant "THAT" kind of courting!!!
 

Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#32
What does a date have to do with physical affection? Nothing Really.

In my experience Courting is more of a power move than anything.


"Henceforth, I Sir Liamson the Pretentious, Minor Lord of the State of Idaho, First of his name, wielder of the Sword of Truth, defender of Virtue and Honor, Crown Prince of the Single's Forum, do declare by Noblest Intention to Court Lady Sara the Pure, Countess of Canadia, Third of her name, Wielder of Wisdom and Grace, Defender of the Weak and Whose Virtue is above question. Terms of this negotiation will commence as follows, parties involved will agree upon said rules, punishment is disillusionment of said agreement and no further meetings or arrangements will commence after said breach of contract.

Meetings will be held in the presence of an Elder. No older than 70 and no younger than 35, he or she will be ever watchful and vigilant to ensure the compliance of both parties. At no point will parties be granted any form of visitation without the proper and astute watch of an elder.

There will be no physical contact between parties and no provocative, suggestive, or otherwise unbecoming body language shall be tolerated. Parties will maintain a minimum distance of one foot separation at all times, under such conditions that this rule is impossible to enforce a "Chastity Pillow" measuring 2 foot by 2 foot by 3 inches shall be placed betwixt said parties.

There will be no Tollywalking, heavy beaming, Pencil Dropping, staring, sharing, laughing, dancing, singing, merry making, crying, mourning, hunting, overfastidiousness, lollygagging, horseplay, carousing, adventuring, panhandling, or idle gossip. Parties are at all times to perform the highest forms forms of etiquette and form while in the presence of each other and of the elder. Elder is to remain no less than 5 yards away from parties at all times. Meetings are to last no longer than 2 hours, be conducted in a public well lighted area and ended no later than 8pm.

Relationship shall progress at a nominal pace, at 26 dates or 6 months, Parties are to be engaged to be wed. The ring will be provided by Sir Liamson and a customary look of deep appreciation will be provided by Lady Sara. Upon receipt of the ring parties will begin formal negotiations to plot a wedding 6 to 9 months in advance. This period's meetings will commence as meetings before it. Once a week, Accompanied by an Elder.

If said terms are agreeable, sign below

X______________________________ "
 

Nautilus

Senior Member
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
53
48
#33
^Thats pretty much exactly what courting seems like.
 
G

GreenNnice

Guest
#34
I choose courting.


I do not want to court but be courted by the gentleman I agree upon.

Some way of courting one does not even meet close but always keeps away from another and never actually touches each other in body to body in any way shape or form nor does one socialise in normal ways (not as friends would either).
One has "aprons" as (such as parents friends) aswell as keeps a distance.
Or communicated with help of devices.

One may possibly kiss but only via spirit or without the bodies so to say. lol

A man has been courting me for over a year on and off.
He always comes back to me but we never met and although some said he with other woman i do not beleive them.
Maybe im naive.
We never even met in time.
He came to me as a catholic man he said but the catholic people were really bad to me and did not welcome me but were not nice.
Then when i was christened a time name they forsed me have another name and be another son and i refused so they shadowed me and were more threatening.
I left church and christianity after way they treated me.



Another man proposed many yrs and i always said no.He was not nice and his already married and she was awful to me and i did not know why but apparently he wanted to marry me and her and i always said no.
Not mentioning the evil they did to me and how much they stole from me.
i did not like them and i dont want to wear burka , be shadowed or abused or slave , gimp or etc .

I must speak with the good jesus and find way and faith back.


One husband for me only who want one wife and not many times other woman.....


If some one court me i may court back by show appreciation such as organise food for he.
If im not seeing him in the flesh then i can make arrangements to have food served for him or have a message given or something else sweet.
So, really pray, guys, cuz that girl you like might need a very different ask to say 'yes' to you ,a 'courting' ask.....


"Would you like to go out with me?"


WAIT! !! Don't stop there, or, you're dead to her. And, I am dead-serious :D


Keep going with your ask, think 'continuation.' :D

"with me?...and I will stop by on Friday so your mom and dad can meet me and we can all go rollerskating together." :D

I'm kidding around, a bit, but, there's more seriousness in that post than meets the eye, guys :)

The Lord leads.
 
J

jimmydiggs

Guest
#35
Courting seems like some kind of pretentious facade of dating.



Hurr Durr Durr... Look at us we're COURTING.


Dating is for the peasantry, Courting is in vogue.
I'm not cool enough to go dating. My white stallion is still in the shop getting it's brake system overhauled.


 
J

jimmydiggs

Guest
#38
What does a date have to do with physical affection? Nothing Really.

In my experience Courting is more of a power move than anything.


"Henceforth, I Sir Liamson the Pretentious, Minor Lord of the State of Idaho, First of his name, wielder of the Sword of Truth, defender of Virtue and Honor, Crown Prince of the Single's Forum, do declare by Noblest Intention to Court Lady Sara the Pure, Countess of Canadia, Third of her name, Wielder of Wisdom and Grace, Defender of the Weak and Whose Virtue is above question. Terms of this negotiation will commence as follows, parties involved will agree upon said rules, punishment is disillusionment of said agreement and no further meetings or arrangements will commence after said breach of contract.

Meetings will be held in the presence of an Elder. No older than 70 and no younger than 35, he or she will be ever watchful and vigilant to ensure the compliance of both parties. At no point will parties be granted any form of visitation without the proper and astute watch of an elder.

There will be no physical contact between parties and no provocative, suggestive, or otherwise unbecoming body language shall be tolerated. Parties will maintain a minimum distance of one foot separation at all times, under such conditions that this rule is impossible to enforce a "Chastity Pillow" measuring 2 foot by 2 foot by 3 inches shall be placed betwixt said parties.

There will be no Tollywalking, heavy beaming, Pencil Dropping, staring, sharing, laughing, dancing, singing, merry making, crying, mourning, hunting, overfastidiousness, lollygagging, horseplay, carousing, adventuring, panhandling, or idle gossip. Parties are at all times to perform the highest forms forms of etiquette and form while in the presence of each other and of the elder. Elder is to remain no less than 5 yards away from parties at all times. Meetings are to last no longer than 2 hours, be conducted in a public well lighted area and ended no later than 8pm.

Relationship shall progress at a nominal pace, at 26 dates or 6 months, Parties are to be engaged to be wed. The ring will be provided by Sir Liamson and a customary look of deep appreciation will be provided by Lady Sara. Upon receipt of the ring parties will begin formal negotiations to plot a wedding 6 to 9 months in advance. This period's meetings will commence as meetings before it. Once a week, Accompanied by an Elder.

If said terms are agreeable, sign below

X______________________________ "



Poor guy never had a chance.
 
G

GreenNnice

Guest
#39
Courting seems like some kind of pretentious facade of dating.



Hurr Durr Durr... Look at us we're COURTING.


Dating is for the peasantry, Courting is in vogue.
You;'re one of the most adamant of wanting real love, liamsON, bro, so, I was wondering, in all seriousness, IF you think that real love could come from that kind of (sacrificial?) relationship going about things, also known as, courting ?

There is some regalness to it, of times even before DKfish (1920s) said.

And, I'm guessing in the times that this picture here you posted portrays, that's how it was, 'courting.' I say this too, maybe, have to check with Oxford :D but , the word itself, 'courting,' has to do with how things were done back in times of kings and queens and earlier periods in history.
 

buckets

Banned by Admin Team (verified fraud)
Dec 14, 2013
374
18
0
#40
What does a date have to do with physical affection? Nothing Really.

In my experience Courting is more of a power move than anything.


"Henceforth, I Sir Liamson the Pretentious, Minor Lord of the State of Idaho, First of his name, wielder of the Sword of Truth, defender of Virtue and Honor, Crown Prince of the Single's Forum, do declare by Noblest Intention to Court Lady Sara the Pure, Countess of Canadia, Third of her name, Wielder of Wisdom and Grace, Defender of the Weak and Whose Virtue is above question. Terms of this negotiation will commence as follows, parties involved will agree upon said rules, punishment is disillusionment of said agreement and no further meetings or arrangements will commence after said breach of contract.

Meetings will be held in the presence of an Elder. No older than 70 and no younger than 35, he or she will be ever watchful and vigilant to ensure the compliance of both parties. At no point will parties be granted any form of visitation without the proper and astute watch of an elder.

There will be no physical contact between parties and no provocative, suggestive, or otherwise unbecoming body language shall be tolerated. Parties will maintain a minimum distance of one foot separation at all times, under such conditions that this rule is impossible to enforce a "Chastity Pillow" measuring 2 foot by 2 foot by 3 inches shall be placed betwixt said parties.

There will be no Tollywalking, heavy beaming, Pencil Dropping, staring, sharing, laughing, dancing, singing, merry making, crying, mourning, hunting, overfastidiousness, lollygagging, horseplay, carousing, adventuring, panhandling, or idle gossip. Parties are at all times to perform the highest forms forms of etiquette and form while in the presence of each other and of the elder. Elder is to remain no less than 5 yards away from parties at all times. Meetings are to last no longer than 2 hours, be conducted in a public well lighted area and ended no later than 8pm.

Relationship shall progress at a nominal pace, at 26 dates or 6 months, Parties are to be engaged to be wed. The ring will be provided by Sir Liamson and a customary look of deep appreciation will be provided by Lady Sara. Upon receipt of the ring parties will begin formal negotiations to plot a wedding 6 to 9 months in advance. This period's meetings will commence as meetings before it. Once a week, Accompanied by an Elder.

If said terms are agreeable, sign below

X______________________________ "
I know this was a joke. But this would work perfectly for me. Assuming I'm older and it is from someone I know a friend. And the time line is negotiable.

Gentleman you may think it is be lame but check the poll many girls want to be courted. While most likely not to this extreme. The humor would be a selling plus I would know he was way into me. Plus he is a Sir and minor lord.

Proof chivalry is not dead