Why Are You Single? (For The Saddened & Distraught Only)

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alexis

Banned by Admin Team (verified fraud)
Dec 5, 2013
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Sister Alexis, you are welcome to attend any "open" Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and they'll tell you how being cool works out in the real world after a few years.
I totally agree... When I say cool kids I mean according to popular opinion amongst my peers..

I only want to be seen as cool by Christ!
 
Sep 6, 2013
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I confess, that one of the things I miss from when I was in the world is the camaraderie. Use to have alot of fun times (and not even sinful activities) with alot of them, and now ... nada (Spanish for nothing :) )
Camaraderie is something that Christians have as well. You just have to get yourself involved to experience it. Join a small group or Bible study. This is where close fellowship and friendships are formed. Once you have met people and shared yourself with them on that level, close camaraderie is sure to follow. My friends from church and I hang out all the time. We go on weekend camping trips, and see movies, have game nights and eat out together constantly. And I know that if I say something stupid, they're gonna love me anyway, and if one of us starts slipping, the others are going to put them gently back on their feet and keep on going.

There's a reason the Bible tells us not to forsake the meeting together of the saints. We need each other. The key is to throw yourself into something at your church, get involved, and let the cards fall.
 
I

Imperfect

Guest
im currently in a relationship with Jesus.. and He demands im faithful until He puts somebody in my life.

but i feel that wont be for a while since He has much to teach me about relationships and much to do with me and getting myself together in life. so patience and cooperation is important.
 
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Art05

Guest
Camaraderie is something that Christians have as well. You just have to get yourself involved to experience it. Join a small group or Bible study. This is where close fellowship and friendships are formed. Once you have met people and shared yourself with them on that level, close camaraderie is sure to follow. My friends from church and I hang out all the time. We go on weekend camping trips, and see movies, have game nights and eat out together constantly. And I know that if I say something stupid, they're gonna love me anyway, and if one of us starts slipping, the others are going to put them gently back on their feet and keep on going.

There's a reason the Bible tells us not to forsake the meeting together of the saints. We need each other. The key is to throw yourself into something at your church, get involved, and let the cards fall.
I haven't forsaken the assembly of my brethren. In fact, I am very faithful to my church, going three times a week, and attempting my best (thanks to God) to be there in conferences and campmeetings.

You missed this, from another post to Alexis: "(I'm practically the only person my age when I go to church lol)."

I've already talked about how there really aren't any Christians my age in this area.

It's sad, but oh well.
 
C

colalella2891

Guest
And it will be done over and over, and repeated ad nauseam.

Alright, but I want to ask you something: At what point do you see yourself as fit to start dating?

Do you still desire to be with someone, even if you are withholding yourself from relationships?
I'm actually not sure. I still have a long way to go when it comes to my relationship with God, so it could be a while. If it was up to me I would say 25, but only God knows for sure. I definitely do desire to be with someone, but it won't do any good to be with anyone until I have that relationship with God.

No other relationship with satisfy unless He is at the center of it.
 
Sep 6, 2013
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I haven't forsaken the assembly of my brethren. In fact, I am very faithful to my church, going three times a week, and attempting my best (thanks to God) to be there in conferences and campmeetings.

You missed this, from another post to Alexis: "(I'm practically the only person my age when I go to church lol)."

I've already talked about how there really aren't any Christians my age in this area.

It's sad, but oh well.
Who said age had anything to do with it? Most of my friends are much older than me, and many are much younger.
 
A

Art05

Guest
I'm actually not sure. I still have a long way to go when it comes to my relationship with God, so it could be a while. If it was up to me I would say 25, but only God knows for sure. I definitely do desire to be with someone, but it won't do any good to be with anyone until I have that relationship with God.

No other relationship with satisfy unless He is at the center of it.
Thank you for sharing this, my friend.

God bless you.
 
A

Art05

Guest
Who said age had anything to do with it? Most of my friends are much older than me, and many are much younger.
It has alot to do with it lol.

But you're obviously not going to understand.

God bless!
 
May 3, 2013
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I understand why I am single and not mingled.

Discontented? Yes! but the search is over. And singleness can be found in the lonliness of friendship or marriage. I know who mour being alone (I´m not alone, I´m not gregarious, I don´t feel that need).

Divorced help to know me better: I wasn´t ready for that YESTERDAY... I´m ot ready today.
 
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ServantStrike

Guest
It has alot to do with it lol.

But you're obviously not going to understand.

God bless!
A lot of us don't understand. There are more than a couple of us here that have been single longer than you've been on this earth who have tried to help, and you've ignored our offers of help. Helping is what brothers and sisters in Christ do. If you don't let us do that, then what are we to do?

I, along with several other guys here, have offered to talk to you about this pain you're feeling, and you have turned it down. Christ is risen. He has set the captives free.

John 5:6
When Jesus saw him lie, and knew that he had been now a long time in that case, he saith unto him, Wilt thou be made whole?

Alternatively, that can be said to mean "do you want to be healed."

Arise!

Luke 4:18
The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised,
 
A

Art05

Guest
I've been saved for a few years now, and after praying for friends and a girlfriend for all of those years, I'm coming to realize that I truly have been foreordained by the Creator to be alone for the rest of my life, without true friendships and relationships.

Oh well lol. Sounds tough. But yeah.


 
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ServantStrike

Guest
I've been saved for a few years now, and after praying for friends and a girlfriend for all of those years, I'm coming to realize that I truly have been foreordained by the Creator to be alone for the rest of my life, without true friendships and relationships.

Oh well lol. Sounds tough. But yeah.


God is not the UPS man, nor does he work for Federal Express.

You can't just pray, you've got to go out and make it happen. And there are people here who have been trying to make it happen for decades. If it happens great, if it doesn't, it doesn't.

It will be what it will be. But come on. Look at a lot of the responses to these types of threads. Do you think they have been the most spiritually healthy responses?

I hear a lot of complaining about being single, but not a lot of saying "but at least I have Christ."
 
A

Art05

Guest
It has alot to do with it lol.
How far off in age are those around you/at your church?
For some reason, I feel as if I'm repeating myself over and over lol.

Since you follow what I say pretty closely, you must already know.

In the majority of the services I attend, I'm the only person my age there. Many of them are in their 30's and up, married, and their kids attend as well (from a packed out nursery to little teenagers, but very few of them).

I don't have any friends. I don't have any worldly friends because ... well, they're worldly lol.

The people I talk to in church? They're all pretty much in their 40's and 50's.

I haven't really met anybody that was my age and truly loves the Lord.
 
A

Art05

Guest
It has alot to do with it lol.
How far off in age are those around you/at your church?
Here's something I put in another thread.

For me, I feel particularly sad and left out, because the majority of the married couples in my church (and that's pretty much what my whole church is composed of, married couples lol) met and married at my age or younger.

Even my parents (who aren't Christians and do not attend any church) were married by now, and had my sister. Needless to say, my mom's pretty fed up with me being single lol

People in my church throw this at me: "You need to get married, boy." haha Like if I can go to the store and pick up a girl.

They see that I'm poor. "You need a better job, boy." haha But what they fail to realize is that they only reason they (the men, of course) got their high paying jobs was to support their families. I don't have to support anyone but myself, and I'm particularly frugal. A family you love is a good push in the right direction, right? Alongside this they say, "Go to college, boy." lol As if it was that easy.

Not to mention the fact that I don't even really know any Christian girl my age in this area, and this is the only place I can be. I guess my pastor and others have already realized this, and just feel bad for me.

So I'm single against my will lol.

So no, you're [the OP] not alone. And don't let anyone tell you that all you need to do is "get closer to God and things will just work out", or "Just change your *perspective* and think positively" [whatever that means]. Many people on here will try to throw you placebos, so beware of them.
 
Sep 6, 2013
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For some reason, I feel as if I'm repeating myself over and over lol.
Okay, so I consider myself a patient person but I can't take it anymore. I'm going to be straight with you, Art05. Your condescension and ill-disguised contempt for others (yes, it is very ill-disguised) shines through in every post you make here. If you are anything in real life like you are on this forum, you are not a "nice guy", and I have a pretty good idea why you might be having trouble finding someone special. You need to work on how you view others, how you treat others, and how you listen to others. Until those problems can be corrected, there simply is no hope for you.

Welcome to my ignore button. Good day, sir.
 
A

Art05

Guest
Okay, so I consider myself a patient person but I can't take it anymore. I'm going to be straight with you, Art05. Your condescension and ill-disguised contempt for others (yes, it is very ill-disguised) shines through in every post you make here. If you are anything in real life like you are on this forum, you are not a "nice guy", and I have a pretty good idea why you might be having trouble finding someone special. You need to work on how you view others, how you treat others, and how you listen to others. Until those problems can be corrected, there simply is no hope for you.

Welcome to my ignore button. Good day, sir.
and I have a pretty good idea why you might be having trouble finding someone special.
Lord, did she purposefully ignore everything I've said about there not being any eligible sister my age here? Perhaps she did. Oh well.

Happy ignorance!
 
S

ServantStrike

Guest
Lord, did she purposefully ignore everything I've said about there not being any eligible sister my age here? Perhaps she did. Oh well.

Happy ignorance!
Have you ever gotten to where you cursed the day that you were born? There are quite a few people here who have been there in their lives, and you have brushed every single one of them aside. I was dead serious when I said I've been where you have and that there is no need to feel that way with Christ in your life.

I love you man. I love everyone, but you make friendship and fellowship darn near impossible. You're not interested in listening to an opinion that doesn't support your own, you purposefully ignore valid points and repeated pleas for reason, and when people say they're here and want try and help you, you crank up the bile and start spewing it even more.


What are we supposed to do? Grovel at your feet and beg that you talk to us, oh please, oh please?
 

rachelsedge

Senior Member
Oct 15, 2012
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For some reason, I feel as if I'm repeating myself over and over lol.

Since you follow what I say pretty closely, you must already know.
I actually don't follow every post you make, and I wouldn't have asked if I already knew. :)

I actually really get where you're at, right now. I moved here to Illinois in September of 2012, and since I live with my parents (because of circumstances), I went to the church they had helped plant that summer. At the time, there were maybe 10 people who went, and half of them were the church-planting team (including my parents). The other attendees were all over 50.

I still go to my parents' church in the morning and am helpful there, but I also was invited to a young adult Bible study in February of this year. I went to that small group study every week, and after a few weeks I started going to that church on Sunday nights and since then have made many great friends my age (well, between the ages of 19 and 28...close enough :) ). But, basically from September to March (6-7 months!) I didn't really have any friends my age. It sucked, man. I totally get that. That's also happened to me one time before, when I didn't really have friends close to my age, but that's another story. So, yes, I can relate.

Are there any other churches in your area that you could try? Or maybe even ones that have a little of a drive?

Funny story about my Sunday night church. The first time I went to that small group study, I didn't feel well. I probably looked sickly, and I'm sure I made a horrible first impression, because at one point, I said "Yeah, I don't feel too well. I had Taco Bell for lunch." I saw some people physically move a few inches away from me. :p That night, I ended up having the stomach flu. Thankfully it waited until I was home from the group, but still, it wasn't the first impression I had wanted to make. ;)
 
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ServantStrike

Guest
I actually don't follow every post you make, and I wouldn't have asked if I already knew. :)

I actually really get where you're at, right now. I moved here to Illinois in September of 2012, and since I live with my parents (because of circumstances), I went to the church they had helped plant that summer. At the time, there were maybe 10 people who went, and half of them were the church-planting team (including my parents). The other attendees were all over 50.

I still go to my parents' church in the morning and am helpful there, but I also was invited to a young adult Bible study in February of this year. I went to that small group study every week, and after a few weeks I started going to that church on Sunday nights and since then have made many great friends my age (well, between the ages of 19 and 28...close enough :) ). But, basically from September to March (6-7 months!) I didn't really have any friends my age. It sucked, man. I totally get that. That's also happened to me one time before, when I didn't really have friends close to my age, but that's another story. So, yes, I can relate.

Are there any other churches in your area that you could try? Or maybe even ones that have a little of a drive?

Funny story about my Sunday night church. The first time I went to that small group study, I didn't feel well. I probably looked sickly, and I'm sure I made a horrible first impression, because at one point, I said "Yeah, I don't feel too well. I had Taco Bell for lunch." I saw some people physically move a few inches away from me. :p That night, I ended up having the stomach flu. Thankfully it waited until I was home from the group, but still, it wasn't the first impression I had wanted to make. ;)

Hi how are y.. BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGH.