Why Are You Single? (For The Saddened & Distraught Only)

Jullianna · Dec 16, 2013

Proverbs 12:15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.

Proverbs 19:21 Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future. Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.

Proverbs 28:26 Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered.

Proverbs 13:10 Byinsolence comes nothing but strife, but with those who take advice is wisdom.

I deeply appreciate your hearts, ServantStrike and Grace. As have others of us, you have tried, as we must.

I can almost understand a young guy's hesitation to pay much attention to the words of women regarding such matters, though spoken in love. I cannot, however, understand the level of unkindness and abuse that has taken place here among the alleged children of God (Whom only HE can truly distinguish).

What is more difficult to understand is why one would choose to cast aside the wisdom of several older MEN who have walked the same path, abandoning it for one's own imaginings or for the ear-tickling words of Job's comforters.

What is most disturbing is the disregard for the warnings and instructions of the Word of God regarding such things.

Praying with you both (and so many others). You are blessings.

MidniteWelder · Dec 16, 2013

Art05 said:

rachelsedge said:

fourleaf · Dec 17, 2013

There's so many reasons as to why Im single. Here's the reason: Im not kind of party goer, or someone who likes to have fun in a worldy worldy world (you know what I mean?). Since I accepted Christ, I began to realized that I shouldn't be worldly and be unto worldly. But I wish that it was that simple but It's not.

(Maybe unless I'm living in a Christian community, or let's say christianchat.com is a Place offline. (very cool!) Then i'll find a way to move there, yeah i'll find a way (i hope you guys would treat me well...

))

I have very few friends but I'm not good at keeping in touch with them. I'm far away from my Homeland. My bestfriend is unbeliever, but nothing is impossible with God! I pray that one day he'll make it in Christian world~
(Okay, to tell you the truth, this is what saddens me and makes me feel distraught! But this has nothing to do with my singleness of course!

)

I'm not lonely or saddened or distraught for being a single. Infact, I think I'm better off being single right now, because I have time for myself, studies...and i have time with the Lord. (I'm being honest, sorry if I does not follow the thread 'Title' of yours.)

Also, school makes me Busy, Busier and Busiest (not joking! True.). I don't think that I'll have extra time to spend with my boyfriend, because even weekends seems occupied~ And this is what I don't like to happened if I have a relationship (lacks of time with the commitment) because this is what my ex and I had struggled~

This is silly but my brother wouldn't want me to be in a relationship until I finished my studies...I can do that, but sometimes I'm asking myself what if my man comes tomorrow? and I'm not allowed to open my doors for him?? Well, I think if he's heaven sent from God, He will wait!

Ok brother, if you think that my post does not derail your thread. You're welcome!

Art05 · Dec 17, 2013

NodMyHeadLikeYeah said:

haha

Art05 · Dec 17, 2013

rachelsedge said:

Because such advice is felt like a courteous, spiritually sounding brush off; it is very similar to the attitude expressed in the following Scripture:

If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food, and one of you say unto them, Depart in peace, be ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit?

Good, true help differs from such dismissive advice very greatly, and this has been a point of contention between me and others here ever since I signed on to ChristianChat.com. They think they're helping; they see themselves as those able to help, but their conceit is so obvious from the prideful anger they've demonstrated when their so called wisdom is rejected. This is why I labeled them Christian Freuds, because much of their help is hasty, inconsiderate, and vain.

Rachel, I do agree that seeking God and His righteousness is good advice, but in the many circumstances that people face, such counsel is abrupt and therefore unhelpful.

This is what I've meant.

Art05 · Dec 17, 2013

MidniteWelder said:

Comparing your advice (falsely so called) to our Lord Jesus Himself is a new height of conceitedness. You've answered rashly, and now I can only see you as a fool.

Would you please? With so much bad advisers out there, one needs God's wisdom and guidance now more than ever. I really appreciate it!

For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith. (Romans 12.3)

Or he that exhorteth, on exhortation ... he that sheweth mercy, with cheerfulness. (Romans 12.8)

Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another. (Romans 12.10)

Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits. (Romans 12.16)

God bless you!

Art05 · Dec 17, 2013

NodMyHeadLikeYeah said:

Maybe worldly people, but not any Christians. Christians don't usually name-call their own brethren in such a childish way. We have a tendency to love one another as Christ loved us.

Art05 · Dec 17, 2013

Grace-Like-Rain said:

Awh come on now haha. Me and you barely even communicated! So I don't believe you, when you say that you have great patience; as far as I can tell, you never really tried to give me advice.

But that's fine.

Since you Ignored me, you won't even read this haha.

I think you're a Calvinist, so I still like you.

ServantStrike · Dec 17, 2013

Art05 said:

Who is any one of us, that we could ever truly know the heart of another person?

Heck, the pastors daughter told me no one would want me the way I was. Do you have any idea how painful that was for me, seeing as it was unsolicited advice and she decided to do it in public? I was struggling to keep my head above water at that juncture, not even concerned with dating.

I may have a goofy, sometimes facetious personality, but I was genuinely serious in trying to help you. You don't think I might not have had a problem or two on occasion, or for more than a decade? Here's a hint, it was over a decade.

What if someone was genuinely trying to help you? When I went into your discussions, I went in there determined not to go along with everyone else and art bash. I tried to show love, and to give you hope. You brushed me off bro, not the other way around.

You have a choice, you can either stay in the depths of deepest despair, or you can try and dig the heck out.

Art05 · Dec 17, 2013

Now now, let's back up here. There's alot of weeds that are choking the truth here, and I'll try my best to get through.

Jullianna said:

I wholeheartedly agree and try to live by all of these proverbs; in spite of that, to direct them to me in your wrongful way without any caring and careful thought is, basically, insulting and rash. The profitable wisdom of an old poet:

A truth that's told with bad intent
Beats all the lies you can invent.

Jullianna, the Bible says that a wise man's heart discerneth both time and judgment; it has never been my desire to have provoked others to aid me in my distresses only to parry them; I've actually welcomed the input of many that answered, respectfully, from their own heart about their own distresses. But many on here have taken it upon themselves to give bad, unhelpful advice to me (even if they knew not to from me, or even if I had attempted to dissuade them from doing so), and so I had to respond in whatever way in order to stop them. Many of them reacted in prideful anger when their advice (falsely so called) is not taken in the appreciation they expected (or demanded), and this revealed to me that they are not wise people. This includes you, Jullianna. You responded very childish to me, and, apparently, desired to irritate me and offend me; you did neither, but I did regret in seeing anyone that names the name of Christ behave in such a way, especially one that considers herself wise enough to give profitable advice.

Jullianna, so far as I remember, our initial encounter was not one of friendship or anything good, but you sought only to insult me. You have not "tried"; you are deceiving yourself if you think you have.

I love to hear what anyone has to say, whether a man or a woman, and so I cannot understand your opinion of me stated here.

Ma'am, you are trying to poison my well; I have only discerned as I feel Christ would have me to do, and I have always stood strong with what the Bible says. And if there has been any unkindness and abuse, it has come from those whom you consider my helpers, who have, in fact, trolled my threads heavily and advised little. And please, look in the mirror, because you have, as I recall, insulted me and been abusive very early on. And you associate with these? Birds of a feather tend to flock together, I see.

I never cast aside wisdom, but vanity; I must discern from the wheat and the chaff, and I am unrelenting in what I allow into my soul, and what I practice. As for their age, as the Scripture saith, I said, Days should speak, and multitude of years should teach wisdom. But there is a spirit in man:and the inspiration of the Almighty giveth them understanding. Great men are not always wise: neither do the aged understand judgment. Therefore I said, Hearken to me; I also will shew mine opinion.

Excuse me, but you are dead wrong; Job's friends did not tickle his ears, but their own; they spoke from pride, and this twisted their wisdom. For you see, many things which they said are correct, but they were vanity to Job because he knew that they were said pridefully. This is very ironic: much of the advice (which is false compared to what Job's friends said) given to me by these your friends was not to help, but to tickle their own puffed up minds. This is most certainly true.

Regarding what?

If you were my friends, then, as you have brought the comparison of Job, the I would pray for you, and this trial would soon end. haha But not so. I refuse to be friends with you all, seeing as you are scornful people, and the Lord tells me that those that are blessed are those that do not sit in the seat of the scornful.

May the God of all mercy show you mercy in renewing your mind.

Praus · Dec 17, 2013

Art05 said:

Rom 1:28-29 And even as they did not like to retain God in [their] knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, ...

Art05 said:

MidniteWelder · Dec 18, 2013

Naw that wasnt prideful conceitedness Art
That was love and mercy I was showing you.
You want prideful heres prideful conceitedness?
You wanna know why my advice was good advice Art
Because it wasn't the kind of advice that's a quick fix like a drug or "placebo" just to make ya feel better for now, for today.

It's the kind of advice that's gonna hit you over time.
It will unfold with age, with each new experience, time and time again renewing itself in different ways making you say to yourself..
Oh ...thats why this

And thats why that

Little pieces of your past will start clicking together with the present to form a more clear picture of your future as you piece together the reasons behind why you do what you do and why you think what you think. Helping you come to the realization that seeking Christ IN EVERYTHING, not just your salvation retrains and disciplines and renews your mind to be
...what you may ask?
........More like the mind of Christ.

It may not be the exact perfect thing you want to hear right now.
But thats the point Art, I'm not trying to tickle your ears.
And that's why its a correct assessment.

Because its really like this, and now I'll remove the Mercy part I was showing you initially and give it to ya straight, but I didn't think you could handle the truth before but it seems like that's what ya really want.

Tell me how this sounds:
"I want Candy
And nobodies giving me candy
Hey...Everybody else who didn't get their candy lets get together and wallow in why we deserve candy even though we didn't work for it. I deserve it because I want it, that's all.
Candy is a treat for those who work for it but I want my candy right nowwwww
How come nobodies giving me candy...Who's gonna give me some candy!!!
---Hey Art I got some jello...
NOOOO I said Candy,,,butterfinger to be exact
---Hey Art I suggest something more healthy like vegetables
What is wrong with you people thinking you know what diet is best for me...I know what I want and I want CANDYYYYYY Grrrr. Prideful bunch of healthy people.
---Hey Art I got some 3 Muskateers would you like some of that?
NOOOO why do you keep offering me what I told you I don't want

Now replace the word Candy with ____________
Rship
Advice
Good job
Whatever ya feel
And perhaps you'll see how you're being perceived.
You want a Rship, it dont just work itself out on its own and fall out of the sky nor present itself if you demand of it.
YOU yes YOU must work for it and at it by working on YOURSELF.
How does one work on themselves except for seeking Christ
(the so called placebo you termed false)
All the advice you could ever ask for is in there in Gods word, if not in word then by example.
If you happen to not be finding what you seek, then its time to pray and ask God to reveal it to you.
Pray first then open and seek his word.

Christ teaches you how to be in a Rship
Lets also say maybe you have a good job maybe you want a better one, who knows.
You want a good Job Art?
Guess what
God teaches you how to be a good servant and a good employee by
DOIN ALL THINGS WITHOUT GRUMBLING OR COMPLAINING.

Secondly, you have this stuff called testeostereone
Yeah I mis-spelled it on purpose just to make my point more effective and see if you were paying close attention
You do manly things and you use testeostereone for what GOD intended it for.
You decide what is manly for you, but wallowing in self-pity inviting everybody to join in a pity party is not pulling yourself up by your bootstraps and getting back on that horse and riding and falling again and again until you get better and better until one day you dont fall off that horse anymore.
Pretty soon you will be jumping with that horse, climbing Mountains with that horse.
Then one day, you may not even need that horse.
But by golly keep your boots and your wits about ya, because you just may need your pointy toe to kick someone in the nuts to remind them that they have some.

If ya don't use your testeostereone...guess what, you get an abundunce of testeostereone build up and your body converts it to estrogen.
The girl hormone
Thats right Art
And then ya wanna know what happens next?
I don't think you can handle it but I'm gonna tell ya anyhow.
I dont know if I even wanna say in your sensitive emotional state but this all seems very important to you so I'm gonna be the one to tell ya.
it means you just may start acting like a girl.
Lets compare some examples from the bible
The men who asked Deborah to lead them in war...
...didn't wanna use their testeostereone, had too much estrogen.
It ticked Deborah off for having to do what a man should do,
her estrogen levels converted to Testeostereone
She told the men they would be shamed for having a girl have to lead them and the honor would not be theirs
Opposite angle-Samson
What did he do with his testeostereone just to burn off some steam?
He ripped a Lion apart. Yeah Makes sense, more noble than taking it out on a person.
I chase bears myself but to each his own.
Ya gotta use that stuff for something to keep the balance in check so it don't eat you alive.
Little tip for ya:
Girls arent very attracted to guys who are acting like a girl
A girl may wanna marry their best friend but not their best GIRL friend

There now you may call me prideful my friend,
And you know why I call you my friend, because only a friend would have taken the time Art.
Only a friend would have put himself out there to look like a prick.
And ya know what, thats what I can be for you Art,
I can be the one you hate so that you hear it straight.
And the bible tells us its hard for thee to kick against the pricks.
The truth that prods you to deliverance.

Now I see you are an educated man full of wisdom
But lifes rough
It's even rougher if ya don't pay attention to what's trying to knock you down
I'm not trying to knock you down Art I'm trying to toughen you up so you don't get knocked down so easily next time.
Don't let your schooling interfere with your education
Here's a placebo for now...Get out of the house, go outside in Gods country, go catch a fish, wrestle a wild animal of some kind, even if its just a possum, work on your car, play some music on an instrument, something that utilizes skill, instinct and forethought all coupled together.
Something that invigorates you and uses both your body and your mind

Lastly, I'm gonna give you the best advice you could have ever received about relationships.
"Just like a good fighter...
If you want to be a good lover...learn how to get hurt"

Hugs in Christ
Midnite

ServantStrike · Dec 18, 2013

MidniteWelder said:

You mentioned the words "For Today" and testosterone in the same post.

Not only was your post incredibly awesome, but I have to share this. It's basically Psalm 23 inspired music... with a kick to the nuts.

[video=youtube;Xk_b0VweDx8]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xk_b0VweDx8[/video]

[3x]
We will not
We will not
We will not
Be afraid

We will not
We will not
We will not

We are fearless
Fearless

We bear the mark of the uncreated god
So what should we fear?
We bear the scars of the holy risen son
So tell me what should we fear?

Every threat is hollow
Because our victory is already set in stone

We are the fearless ones

[2x]
We will not
We will not
We will not
Be afraid

[2x]
Though we stand in this dark valley
We will not be afraid
For we know that you are near

You are near

I can feel the courage rising
In the hearts of the sons of god
I can feel a fire burning
Across the earth we stand as one

We are not dismayed by the darkness
That surrounds us here
Because we know that when all hell closes in
If we stand and fight we are not alone

Though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death
We are not alone
We will fear no evil for you are near

We are the fearless ones

[2x]
We will not
We will not
We will not
Be afraid

[2x]
Though we stand in this dark valley
We will not be afraid
For we know that you are near

You are near

He can't stop the kingdom
You'll see him bow at the throne on judgement day
So let the devil come

We are fearless
Fearless

So let the devil come

fourleaf · Dec 18, 2013

Let's Spread the Love that comes from God! God bless you all guys! Peace be with you all.

MidniteWelder · Dec 18, 2013

Good idea ServantStrike, everybody could use an encouraging song, or even a theme song that cues in our head

Rich Mullins has always been a very encouraging Spirit lead musician.
I'll share my favorite video of his

[video=youtube;J2KOCgC8DnU]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2KOCgC8DnU[/video]

MySavior · Dec 18, 2013

the main reason Im single because of the drama thats been goin on past 5 years

Art05 · Dec 18, 2013

Midnite, I won't even quote your last post, since it is so prolix that doing so would be unbearably redundant.

Midnite, you, as others here, have not understood what I've said at all. You've tried to analyze me and failed, because your analysis is an hasty generalization entirely. You've said some good things, but said them inappropriately; you've also said some insulting things because of your desire to be a "Christian Freud". And it amazes me that you advise me on seeking out a mate, when you yourself aren't married. Therefore speak what thou knowest. (Job 34.33)

... There's just so much frill to what you've said that I refuse to go on, except to say that I believe my testosterone levels are quite normal, and, if I were you, I wouldn't worry about them.

I'm surprised I hadn't ignored you from your recent conceited blasphemy before, but I will now.

rachelsedge · Dec 18, 2013

You've been saying quite a bit that what we tell you is wrong because we "don't know you". Maybe it'd be a good idea to post your life story, who you are, what you're about, etc? So far, I have only picked up tiny bits and pieces from the posts you've posted about "who you are" but a lot of that was inferring, not direct.

ServantStrike · Dec 18, 2013

Art05 said:

Conceited blasphemy. Around here those are serious allegations, would you care to back them up?

rachelsedge said:

That would be informative wouldn't it!

Let's see where he begins.

[video=youtube;2ORFN_52s8M]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ORFN_52s8M&list=WL988383D70FDC2C7C[/video]

Art05 · Dec 18, 2013

rachelsedge said:

Rachel, the only thing is that that was not the purpose of this thread at all. It's purpose is in the title and my original post. You've already answered, and I thank you. But this is no place for my life story.

Why Are You Single? (For The Saddened & Distraught Only)

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