How to meet Christian Men

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ContentCanadian

Guest
#1
#1
I don't really know how to meet Christian men. I am a fairly new Christian and most of my friends are "secular". I attend a church but I would guess that the average age of the congregation is about 60+, I consider many of the members friends but with the age gap they it is not an ideal friendship.

I'm not too sure where to look or what to do, but a new year is coming up so I need to keep praying, and if it's God's will start making some changes. Anyone have any guidance to offer? Or something they did that helped them? I'm willing to wait but I don't think a husband is going to find me at home (in front the computer lol), at work, or at church.

Thanks
 
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arwen83

Guest
#2
#2
ContentCanadian said:
I don't really know how to meet Christian men. I am a fairly new Christian and most of my friends are "secular". I attend a church but I would guess that the average age of the congregation is about 60+, I consider many of the members friends but with the age gap they it is not an ideal friendship.

I'm not too sure where to look or what to do, but a new year is coming up so I need to keep praying, and if it's God's will start making some changes. Anyone have any guidance to offer? Or something they did that helped them? I'm willing to wait but I don't think a husband is going to find me at home (in front the computer lol), at work, or at church.

Thanks
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Wish I had some good advice for you. Aside from switching churches to a younger congregation, going to Christian events, going on Christian dating websites...
 
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Ugly

Guest
#3
#3
Well, some people do find their spouse while sitting behind their computer. There are a number of couples that got married from meeting on this site. Its not a dating site, but but things do happen. Church is kind of the most common place, though.
 
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Shouryu

Guest
#4
#4
ContentCanadian said:
I don't really know how to meet Christian men. I am a fairly new Christian and most of my friends are "secular". I attend a church but I would guess that the average age of the congregation is about 60+, I consider many of the members friends but with the age gap they it is not an ideal friendship.

I'm not too sure where to look or what to do, but a new year is coming up so I need to keep praying, and if it's God's will start making some changes. Anyone have any guidance to offer? Or something they did that helped them? I'm willing to wait but I don't think a husband is going to find me at home (in front the computer lol), at work, or at church.

Thanks
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Hey! That's exactly my boat! Except with all the genders reversed, and not necessarily everyone in the congregation being 60+, but all being happily married with kids.

As I told Gracie last night...I am The Single Man in my church. As in, the only one. No hyperbole.

I've been through bouts of frustration on and off over the past year, year and a half or so. Comes and goes. Right now, I'm in a period of meh. But I understand that it's tough to find contentment in God. In the end, He'll provide when we're ready. That doesn't mean you have to sit and twiddle your thumbs whilst you wait, though. As Arwen pointed out, you can hit up Christian Mingle or some of the other Christian dating sites. You don't have to abandon your church altogether to fellowship with other Christians - stick with your church on Sunday mornings, but maybe visit other church's Wednesday night services or Bible studies. (Man, that's really good advice, I should try that.)

Then, just pray (ask, seek, knock!), and delight in the Lord. If you know your Word, you know what comes after delighting in the Lord. He'll only give you what you seek when He knows you can handle it. ^_^

Keep your chin up, eh?

*runs away as Arwen pelts him with snowballs for throwing in a cheap Canadian joke*
 
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ContentCanadian

Guest
#5
#5
Shouryu said:
I As Arwen pointed out, you can hit up Christian Mingle or some of the other Christian dating sites. You don't have to abandon your church altogether to fellowship with other Christians - stick with your church on Sunday mornings, but maybe visit other church's Wednesday night services or Bible studies. (Man, that's really good advice, I should try that.)

Then, just pray (ask, seek, knock!), and delight in the Lord. If you know your Word, you know what comes after delighting in the Lord. He'll only give you what you seek when He knows you can handle it. ^_^

/QUOTE]

I love the Bible study idea! Wednesday church services are pretty rare where I live, so that idea is pretty much out. I'm wondering if I am waiting because God is working on me ( I mean he is but maybe with regards to a spouse too) and possibly working on my special someone too, so yes I am going to delight in the Lord....and actually leave the house more lol.Perhaps I'll try online dating in about March 2014 (im a bit reluctant to try that right now).
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Shouryu

Guest
#6
#6
ContentCanadian said:
Shouryu said:
I As Arwen pointed out, you can hit up Christian Mingle or some of the other Christian dating sites. You don't have to abandon your church altogether to fellowship with other Christians - stick with your church on Sunday mornings, but maybe visit other church's Wednesday night services or Bible studies. (Man, that's really good advice, I should try that.)

Then, just pray (ask, seek, knock!), and delight in the Lord. If you know your Word, you know what comes after delighting in the Lord. He'll only give you what you seek when He knows you can handle it. ^_^

/QUOTE]

I love the Bible study idea! Wednesday church services are pretty rare where I live, so that idea is pretty much out. I'm wondering if I am waiting because God is working on me ( I mean he is but maybe with regards to a spouse too) and possibly working on my special someone too, so yes I am going to delight in the Lord....and actually leave the house more lol.Perhaps I'll try online dating in about March 2014 (im a bit reluctant to try that right now).
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It is entirely possible that you are correct in your presumption that God is working on you; after all, you did state that you are a new Christian. I would imagine that if you were to engage in relationship right now, your focus would quickly shift away from Christ and on to your new companion. I knew this to be the case for myself when I came back to the Lord two years ago, hence I felt I should remain single. I don't KNOW if that's the case for you, but it's something worth thinking about.

If you don't mind me asking...have you been single long?
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ContentCanadian

Guest
#7
#7
Shouryu said:
ContentCanadian said:
It is entirely possible that you are correct in your presumption that God is working on you; after all, you did state that you are a new Christian. I would imagine that if you were to engage in relationship right now, your focus would quickly shift away from Christ and on to your new companion. I knew this to be the case for myself when I came back to the Lord two years ago, hence I felt I should remain single. I don't KNOW if that's the case for you, but it's something worth thinking about.

If you don't mind me asking...have you been single long?
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Well long is relative, but the last guy I went out with was a real bad boy, his name was T-Rex.

For a long while I was O.K with being single, not so much now. Maybe God wants to keep my focus on Him I don't know, but I dont even go out on dates lol---yes Lord I am alllllll yours.
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wisebeardman

wisebeardman

Banned
#8
Mar 22, 2013
4,718
124
63
Indiana
#8
I always found dating sites to be a joke. full of scammers they are.
 
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zaoman32

Guest
#9
#9
I'm Shouryu's boat. Except it's just not even my church. The majority of women at a lot of the churches in my area are all happily married and have kids. The single ones, I am just not interested in. It's been kind of a battle in me over the last year or so. I don't really want to be single for the rest of my life. I may have someone I'm interested in, but there's no way it would work at this point, so I'm stuck being single, and probably for a long time.

It's something that I've prayed about constantly and over the past year or two that I have been praying about it God has slowly (very slowly I might add) revealed His answers to me. The whole "God wants you to just focus on Him" thing never really worked for me, because God is already a part of who I am. So God just kind of showed me little by little the ways I just wasn't ready for any real lasting relationship or marriage. And now, a year or two later, I'm finally realizing, yeah I'm not ready for a relationship at all, and again, it will probably be a while before I will be. Ever so slowly I'm coming to terms with that and just making myself be ok with it, because I really have no other choice at this point.

All of us around here know how hard it is, so don't be a stranger
 
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Ugly

Guest
#10
#10
I would caution you though. Bible studies and church are meant for times of fellowship, learning and growth. Treating them as methods to find a spouse cheapens their true intent and takes the focus off of God and your walk, and places it on your personal desires to seek out a spouse and to use the time God has set aside for training to focus on your own wants.
 
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SparkleEyes

Senior Member
#11
Mar 23, 2013
771
21
18
#11
ContentCanadian said:
I don't really know how to meet Christian men. I am a fairly new Christian and most of my friends are "secular". I attend a church but I would guess that the average age of the congregation is about 60+, I consider many of the members friends but with the age gap they it is not an ideal friendship.

I'm not too sure where to look or what to do, but a new year is coming up so I need to keep praying, and if it's God's will start making some changes. Anyone have any guidance to offer? Or something they did that helped them? I'm willing to wait but I don't think a husband is going to find me at home (in front the computer lol), at work, or at church.

Thanks
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I'd like to suggest a book: How to Get a Date Worth Keeping by Henry Cloud. He is a well respected Christian counselor who has a number of books.

He advocates being proactive about your search -- being friendly, talking to as many men (people) as possible, putting yourself out there. :cool:
 
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Zemphyra

Guest
#12
#12
Guess I'm also on that boat except there are people of all ages at my church but because I'm 30 I am feeling like I stick out like a sore thumb. The younger ones are all pairing up and anyone near my age is married. Also I think my church is experiencing a man drought because there is very few single guys and a whole lot of single women. I keep telling myself "All in God's time :)"
 
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ContentCanadian

Guest
#13
#13
Ugly said:
I would caution you though. Bible studies and church are meant for times of fellowship, learning and growth. Treating them as methods to find a spouse cheapens their true intent and takes the focus off of God and your walk, and places it on your personal desires to seek out a spouse and to use the time God has set aside for training to focus on your own wants.
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I agree with what you are saying, but I am very enthused about bible study at a church other than my own partially because as I noted most of my friends are "secular" and the congregation at my church is fairly elderly, so in addition to searching for a spouse I am also seeking fellowship and friendship. I also understand that most of the people that I meet at a bible study are likley to be married and female.

Right now I don`t have anyone that I can converse about the Bible with other than my elderly church friends or my parents. I`m going to see what I can do to find a spouse, but I am also going to seek to add fullness to my walk with God and my social life. That will make my wait a lot easier, and help to get ready to love someone.
 
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ContentCanadian

Guest
#14
#14
SparkleEyes said:
I'd like to suggest a book: How to Get a Date Worth Keeping by Henry Cloud. He is a well respected Christian counselor who has a number of books.

He advocates being proactive about your search -- being friendly, talking to as many men (people) as possible, putting yourself out there. :cool:
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Thank you, I will check this book out. Too bad it is not available on ipad, don`t want to be seen reading this on the train to work lol.
 
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Nuns_n_roses

Guest
#15
#15
Congrats on your recent conversion! I wish you luck in finding a mate! :)
 
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ServantStrike

Guest
#16
#16
ContentCanadian said:
Thank you, I will check this book out. Too bad it is not available on ipad, don`t want to be seen reading this on the train to work lol.
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Why not.

Maybe you'll get a date worth keeping :D
 
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ServantStrike

Guest
#18
#18
ContentCanadian said:
umm like the fellow at Burger King?
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Well, I figure maybe like the guy on the train who's also looking for a date worth keeping.

Two basic criteria:

-They have to follow Christ
-They have to bathe.
 
Praus

Praus

Banned
#19
Dec 21, 2012
2,982
40
0
#19
ContentCanadian said:
umm like the fellow at Burger King?
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The worst thing ever: waking up with Burger King in your bed....

[video=youtube;x4_5qoy4oaQ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4_5qoy4oaQ[/video]
 
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ContentCanadian

Guest
#20
#20
ServantStrike said:
Well, I figure maybe like the guy on the train who's also looking for a date worth keeping.

Two basic criteria:

-They have to follow Christ
-They have to bathe.
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Well I am almost 37, I cant get all crazy picky. Being a follower of Christ is non-negotiable but I can be flexible with the other - clothes pins on the nose, wearing orange peels around my neck etc. I mean I don't want to be all

picky picky.jpg
 
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