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I went to my church's candlelight CHRISTmas service tonight. It was packed. Our different families, elders, and the congregation in generl, participated in reading and performing the scriptures from Luke. We got to sing all kinds of CHRISTmas carols with our amazing pianist. At the end, one of the little children, playing Mary, was holding the baby Jesus. We all sang silent night without any music- acapella. So very moving. Pastor Shawn invited us to "Enter this place of Jesus' dwelling and take Him everywhere we are." And then everyone left silently. People had tears in their eyes, me included. I don't deserve this wonderful life God has given me. I have so much, but Jesus gives me so much more. I am writing love poems to Him, because only He can really be my one, true love. Thank you each and every one in this website who has pointed me closer to Him. Merry CHRISTmas everyone and His peace to all!
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And here I ignored all posts by said Persnickety person because of the name. 
Amazing what a difference a name can make!
Oh Arwen, what's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet
Amazing what a difference a name can make!Oh Arwen, what's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet
(well technically Juliet said that). I grew. Needed a change from Arwen. I'm over that
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Frustrated beyond belief. I am a feeler- God made me this way. I feel strongly & love strongly. I have caused my own torment by falling in love too quickly. I am trying VERY hard to avoid this again. My imagination runs wild with hope for far away love. But is it love? Am I just a fool? Willing to sacrifice my heart to someone disinterested. God is tormenting me. Soon to be 7 years, he has not put a man in my life whom is Christian and have chemistry with. There is slim pickings online. More options in secular dating sites. Even when I think about another guy, I compare the connection I had. This wretched heart of mine. The only way to help it, is to allow myself to express love. To finally allow myself to love fully without reservations. God knows my heart, God knows my personality yet I am constraint by my covenant, loyalty and reason. To combat my heart with reality and reason. When all it wants to do is to be free. Free to imagine and be fulfilled. It is torture to be given this heart and not be able to use it fully.
