Choice of Words

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Nautilus

Senior Member
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
53
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#21
I understood...though do people really get married just to have sex? I've heard it mention multiple times around the forum and is this really a thing? Seems like putting the cart before the horse.
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#22
I understood...though do people really get married just to have sex? I've heard it mention multiple times around the forum and is this really a thing? Seems like putting the cart before the horse.
I hope not, I got married for money. ;)
 
M

MissCris

Guest
#23
I understood...though do people really get married just to have sex? I've heard it mention multiple times around the forum and is this really a thing? Seems like putting the cart before the horse.
It totally happens. Particularly, I would guess, with young Christians who want to do the right thing and wait til marriage...but you know, pesky hormones and all that...so they end up getting married so they aren't fornicating, and after a few years they realize they don't love the person they're waking up with...

Kinda sad, really.
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#24
It totally happens. Particularly, I would guess, with young Christians who want to do the right thing and wait til marriage...but you know, pesky hormones and all that...so they end up getting married so they aren't fornicating, and after a few years they realize they don't love the person they're waking up with...

Kinda sad, really.

When I hear the word fornicate I think of Dana Carvey as the Church Lady on Saturday Night Live.
 
I

iTOREtheSKY

Guest
#25
I understood...though do people really get married just to have sex? I've heard it mention multiple times around the forum and is this really a thing? Seems like putting the cart before the horse.
My old Pastor refused to marry more than a few couples in the 8 yrs I attended there due to the fact that after pre-marriage counseling with them,the main driving force behind their wanting to marry was their desire to not have to "burn with lust"
any longer towards one another. One couple even left the church over it,because he wouldn't marry them. He told them they weren't ready if that was their main foundation for getting married,and that he didn't want to have to give an account to God for knowingly blessing a marriage under those circumstances. So yep..it happens...lots I'm sure.
 
M

MissCris

Guest
#26
When I hear the word fornicate I think of Dana Carvey as the Church Lady on Saturday Night Live.
Bahaha! I felt pretty goofy using that word.
 
C

chevell

Guest
#27
hi I am chevell new here . and I think its god to wait until you , find the right man but sometimes it don't happen that way . but you can still find . the. man that god has for you and god loves you no matter what
 

Gary

Senior Member
Oct 23, 2011
246
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#28
[video=youtube;BKPoHgKcqag]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKPoHgKcqag[/video]
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#30
I absolutely understand what you're saying, Jules- and I agree, for the most part. It's amazing how powerful words can be- some of us learn that the hard way. And I think you are doing a very good thing, trying to help people in this area.

I do think, though, that more important than the words a married couple uses with each other, whether they call it 'having sex' or making love or whatever...far more important is the attitude behind it. If people are getting married mainly because they want to be able to have sex...then that's the wrong attitude and that's probably all it will ever be between them- sex. They could say they make love or call it anything else they want, but with the attitude they have about it, the words don't matter.

On the other hand, maybe a married couple is truly, honestly, openly intimate with each other in every way- spiritually, emotionally, mentally...everything. Then what they do behind closed doors, despite what they feel comfortable calling it...it's going to be love. It's going to be special.

...I sure hope that made the kind of sense I meant it to...
It makes perfect sense. Maybe you said it a little better than I did on 3.5 hours sleep :)

That's the thing about being with a spouse you trust completely. Nothing is forbidden to you anymore, you are one, and anything and everything should be done in love.

It's just that so many times I have read posts about people saying they can't wait to get married so they can have sex, deal with lust issues, blah, blah, blah. Makes it sound so cold and mechanical. In my mind, that speaks of a kennel, not a bedroom.

Another reason I think it's important to watch your words when it comes to this subject, if you deeply wound your partner in this area of your marriage, it's very difficult to make amends. Big time damage can be done to a husband or wife.

Disclaimer: Folks, Please don't bombard me with what Paul said about marrying so that you don't burn with lust, BECAUSE he was also the guy who outlined the true meaning of love for us so beautifully elsewhere. :)
 
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J

Jullianna

Guest
#32
It totally happens. Particularly, I would guess, with young Christians who want to do the right thing and wait til marriage...but you know, pesky hormones and all that...so they end up getting married so they aren't fornicating, and after a few years they realize they don't love the person they're waking up with...

Kinda sad, really.
Very sad :(

Not only do they not love them, so many times they never even took the time to really get to KNOW them. How many couples do you know who are miserable and say they married because they thought it was "the thing to do"? :(
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#33
My old Pastor refused to marry more than a few couples in the 8 yrs I attended there due to the fact that after pre-marriage counseling with them,the main driving force behind their wanting to marry was their desire to not have to "burn with lust"
any longer towards one another. One couple even left the church over it,because he wouldn't marry them. He told them they weren't ready if that was their main foundation for getting married,and that he didn't want to have to give an account to God for knowingly blessing a marriage under those circumstances. So yep..it happens...lots I'm sure.
THAT is a very wise man of God!
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#34
Can I just say how much I appreciate everyone behaving like grownups in here? Thanks! Really :)
 
Aug 2, 2009
24,643
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#36
I have a feeling Jesus is reading this thread and doing a big facepalm o_o

jesus-facepalm-7618.jpg
 

rachelsedge

Senior Member
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
81
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#38
Thats what I plan to do as well...any lovely single women here making at least 6 figures?
If you count the two zeros after the decimal point...then I make 7 figures. :cool:
 

Nautilus

Senior Member
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
53
48
#39
Very sad :(

Not only do they not love them, so many times they never even took the time to really get to KNOW them. How many couples do you know who are miserable and say they married because they thought it was "the thing to do"? :(
I guess I lucked out knowing very few but my parents, the parents of my friends growing up and my mom's sister all are still in their first marriage. The first re-marriage I knew of was my grandfather whose first wife died of liver cancer
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#40
I guess I lucked out knowing very few but my parents, the parents of my friends growing up and my mom's sister all are still in their first marriage. The first re-marriage I knew of was my grandfather whose first wife died of liver cancer
Your family is blessed. Truly. :)