Here's what's going to happen.
You're going to read, you're not going to respond for any reason.
You're going to see what I have to say to you in particular.
This is for everyone.
With personally directed comments hidden. As a sort of game for you to figure out who I'm talking about.
I'll make it easy for you.
I read your words. And they worked on me. Some of it made me sorrowful. Some of it made me thankful. Some of it made me laugh. I was going to leave it. I could leave and God would be God. I'm not required to respond.
As a man, I chose to respond anyway. To teach you a few things. I intend good lessons. Every word has been meticulously selected, like a note in one of my songs, to bring you to a place where you learn a lesson.
You might stop reading. Are my words a waste? I do this for me and you. What do I gain by responding? I had fun. I enjoyed my morning. I made an attempt at doing good. Not bad for an hours work and several hundred words. I expect the usual return for my investment.
Here's what you were thinking when you read my post:
"Oh, it's that drug addict. He says he's hurting. He deserves it! How dare he come into my house, and use the resources and technology graciously provided by the site owners to post something that would grab my attention and involve my feelings! How dare he be allowed to say that he's hurting! How can he type those words? He's probably having unprotected sex with multiple partners! I don't get to do that! It's unfair! He needs to be in a place where I don't have to hear this drug addict fornicator talk about how he's hurting! I've never taken drugs! I've never had intense spiritual or hallucinatory experiences! And my Friday nights are dull and boring! He's probably raising an ungodly ruckus while he's having unprotected sex with multiple partners! This is a severe injustice! No one should be having that much fun! I must do something about this!
But I need to be concerned. For his health. How can I keep these words out of this site and still satisfy my requirement that I accomplish that in a manner that shows concern? What do they do with drug addicts? I can't send him to jail, he's done nothing worthy of being put in jail. I can hope that he'll stop having so much fun. But I can't say that, otherwise my jealousy will be exposed. How am I going to bring him down to my level, and believe that I did it for the sake of his health? Of course! Counseling!
It will require a significant investment of time on his part, but he's taken my time from me by making me read his words! It will require him to adjust his behavior to meet the requirements of the social setting he's in, but I had to adjust my behavior to appear concerned for his health. It will require access to a car, and the gas required to get to and from the counseling sessions, but that will only be for a few times a month, and he should stop doing drugs. He'll be able to easily afford the wear and tear on his car, and the gas for the sessions, and any miscellaneous expenses in case he wants to drink a Red Bull or something, with the money he'll save by not doing drugs.
Counseling will remove his words from this site, and will help him.
But I'm still not satisfied. I really don't like this person, and how much fun I think he's having. There must be something else.
He has a daughter! That's perfect! Now I have a real reason to address him! He's endangering the safety and health of the girl he's been trusted to watch over and lead, and care for! I'll care about her!"
Message delivered.
And then some of you politely suggested that I attend counseling. In the same tone, I responded that I did not wish to.
And some of you, in a tone I perceived to be indignant, were displeased by that response.
You're asking me to deny the drug I loved. That's difficult enough. But you're also asking me to make significant investments in emotion, time, attitude, behavior. You're asking me to make big changes to myself for the sake of accomplishing what you think will solve the problem. I do not think it will solve the problem. The solution is to not do the drug.
You just don't do it. And I am in pain. I will endure that. And I do vent here.
My posts satisfy all requirements of what is acceptable to post in the young adults forum. And if you don't like them, don't read them.
And on top of it all, I got what I wanted. I can't believe it, but I was granted everything I desired as a result of posting what I posted. And that's just an afterthought to posting for the sake of other people. Praise the Lord.
But I'm a troll? Boy, you want to come at me in the flesh, with your twigs, and decrepit sticks, and label me as "ridiculing", and "attacking"? You want to come at me with those words, and challenge me? You don't know who I am, or who you're dealing with. I'm the lizard king! That's a joke. And there's this girl that I did like (before I took those feelings I had developed for her and took them out back and mercifully shot them in the head) before I realized that my delusional thinking on DXM lead me to believe I could ever be with a girl that snarky and interesting, and, well, kind of, I won't say. So I drop "The Office" references from time to time to make her laugh. But I think she's among the other mockers so I really don't care to anymore. No regrets.
You're overreacting, and using damaging words to label me. Do you realize what you said to me, or how it might affect me? Do you realize what that would do to my reputation if I didn't answer those accusations? I have pride, like a young man does. I've taught my daughter that I will defend and protect her. She might see this post one day! I'm not going to let her think her daddy is a spineless pushover, and will defend himself if attacked. You want to come at me in the flesh? I'll respond in the flesh. I wish we were face to face, so I could see just what kind of words you would really choose. I'm not an intimidating, or dangerous person. You would have nothing to worry about. Unless I had to defend my honor. So if you're ever going to challenge me in public like that again, I recommend you think twice. I will end up humiliating you.
Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter.
I am in pain. I use this forum to vent.
The most you can do is report me. I have said nothing derogatory to anyone, or behaved in a way that would merit any action on the part of the owners of the site. My thread is not outside of the boundaries of what can be posted on the board. You are free to stop reading the thread if you don't like me.
I am recovering, thanks for asking. Today is day two. The pain is decreasing. I weep, I get over it. I get stronger. I will not take DXM anymore. If I do, woe to me. But it won't send me to hell. And given that no one here particularly likes me, I'm not even concerned about how it might affect my reputation on CC.
Worry about my daughter all you want. But do you just hate me? Or do you really care about her?
Christ is Lord. He took me back in and gave me a second chance.
I am not going to counseling. And if I keep posting here, you may be surprised just what my estate is after 6 months of recovery. And when you read the words that I post then, you will remember this.
Don't pray for me. Christ has given me strength. The glory of young men is their strength. Christ be glorified. And I thank him for letting me restore my dignity, self-respect, and sense of manhood in defending myself.
