Yeah,some people really did give the OP's some good advice. I guess sometimes it just gets me bummed to see so many people sad & in such terrible situations. Sometimes I just find myself praying while I'm reading posts...no idea what I'm even thinking or praying,which I suppose isn't very helpful,as I should probably be asking for God to give me the understanding when I am. Suppose that would be a bit more effective. Meh...I dunno. I kinda find myself lacking in the super spiritual dept. more & more over the years. I just seem to talk to God,it's not so much the getting on my knees thing anymore. Though I'm sure that wouldn't hurt,and there's certainly a time & place for that.
It just is all kind of amazing that there are so many people with these horrible marital problems. I thought when I was married those last few years before my divorce that things were rough,but wow...some of the stuff people are going through or have been going through...and done to them by supposedly "Christian" spouses,nonetheless. I just can't fathom how a man or woman that claim so much to love one another so much,can treat the other with such disrespect or thoughtlessness.
I certainly was not the perfect husband...but I never once made my ex feel like she was stupid,or worthless,or that she "owed" me anything. I never once put her down or belittled her or expected ridiculous things from her.
I can say this not to "pat myself on the back",but because I reconciled my heart with her & at length shared 2 emails concerning the divorce. I still don't have 100% reasons why she decided she would rather have given up on the marriage,but I did realize that from what she said to me,her own demons of depression & anxiety were at the root of much of her unhappiness,and that I (in her eyes) never was the problem or that I ever made her feel anything but unloved. Which is why I am so glad that I emailed her to sever all ties,even though I didn't know why at the time fully, it was so impressed upon me to do so. But when she told me how horrible she felt,and that at just the fact of seeing me say in black & white that I didn't hate her,or wish her death and that I didn't hold her fully to blame for our failed marriage,was like a weight lifted. I knew then that not only was God helping me finally deal with the divorce once & for all,but that even if she didn't realize it,that God was healing her. I still hope that one day she comes to Jesus & that somehow He will reach her on her level..in whatever place she's in & that she will finally see that He's real,and that stuff about me she admired or liked,was & is only because God was/is in my life.
Yeah...anyways...this has turned into another massive rambling by me once again.
I guess I just keep thinking about all these crazy relationships...friends...married...single...brothers & sisters...sons & daughters...parents...it's just like,in my heart sometimes I wish people could just see that if you tell someone that you love them...you better be ready to back that up. Even with your life if need be.
I still don't have any "resolutions" for 2014,but I certainly would like to love harder...deeper...truer...and more honestly than I ever have in my life. The only way I know how to do this is let God show me how & hopefully,I'll get it right somewhere along the way or die trying.