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K
Hello StephanieClaire and welcome to CC and your name sounds A LOT like a girl's name and you certainly look female! That might be the good news for you! The bad news is that the color of your printed name is blue which typically implies that you're male. That being said, I've been to Nashville enough times to where it's always a good idea not to broach the subject so I'm gonna leave that alone since your question is really rather genderless.
More good news - YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE!! Most of us here know all about failed relationships! I'd venture to say that a few could even teach the subject at some of our finest universities.
Now - you've left off a good deal of your story and we're pretty nosey so we need more detail. Also - men lie. We just do. I'm admitting it and if you were a male, ...which you might be... you'd probably know the infallibility of humankind which is also genderless. We come short, very short, of our Standard Bearer - Christ Jesus.
More good news - YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE!! Most of us here know all about failed relationships! I'd venture to say that a few could even teach the subject at some of our finest universities.
Now - you've left off a good deal of your story and we're pretty nosey so we need more detail. Also - men lie. We just do. I'm admitting it and if you were a male, ...which you might be... you'd probably know the infallibility of humankind which is also genderless. We come short, very short, of our Standard Bearer - Christ Jesus.
Hi Stephanie - Welcome to CC!!
I saw in your profile that you can't edit the gender of your profile, so you are stuck with the blues...
I would contact a mod or create a new account to get this changed. I don't think it would matter for many posts, but with some of the issues discussed in here from time to time, it could get unclear and awkward.
Also, I understand that there is a "women only" type forum somewhere that may benefit you, but that we guys can't access. Your current account also prevents you from accessing that. It would be best to correct these things early on.
Hope you enjoy CC!
Steve
I saw in your profile that you can't edit the gender of your profile, so you are stuck with the blues...
I would contact a mod or create a new account to get this changed. I don't think it would matter for many posts, but with some of the issues discussed in here from time to time, it could get unclear and awkward.
Also, I understand that there is a "women only" type forum somewhere that may benefit you, but that we guys can't access. Your current account also prevents you from accessing that. It would be best to correct these things early on.
Hope you enjoy CC!
Steve
Hi StephaniClaire, welcome! To see what someone will be like in their future, look to their past. To find a godly man, you'll need to look for someone who was behaving in a godly way before you ever met them. This is really the only way that you can be certain that they are sincere in their faith, and not just trying to please you.
hi, you've already been given some great advice!
one thing that occurs to me when reading is that sometimes we as people repeat patterns unwittingly because they are comfortable to us--even when we are consciously attempting to avoid this. the best example i can give is a female relative that is very close to me has married several alcoholic men--even though she doesn't drink at all. i honestly don't know to this day whether she has ever really stopped to ask herself how this happened or even acknowledged the connection.
i don't know if you're one to get counseling or examine issues like this, but since this is a pattern you have recognized in your life, i would encourage you to consider it, as well as perhaps look to your own childhood and how you grew up for potential insight into what might lead you to find what may be familiar to you. sometimes the "addict personality" (not the addict behavior) can be very attractive to people who are familiar with/have history of. i hope that makes sense.
welcome to CC!
one thing that occurs to me when reading is that sometimes we as people repeat patterns unwittingly because they are comfortable to us--even when we are consciously attempting to avoid this. the best example i can give is a female relative that is very close to me has married several alcoholic men--even though she doesn't drink at all. i honestly don't know to this day whether she has ever really stopped to ask herself how this happened or even acknowledged the connection.
i don't know if you're one to get counseling or examine issues like this, but since this is a pattern you have recognized in your life, i would encourage you to consider it, as well as perhaps look to your own childhood and how you grew up for potential insight into what might lead you to find what may be familiar to you. sometimes the "addict personality" (not the addict behavior) can be very attractive to people who are familiar with/have history of. i hope that makes sense.
welcome to CC!
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Can I inject a thought here? Perhaps once you discover the why you choose the ones you do, you might be able to make a few changes.
What is it about their character or make up that pulls you to them? What are you trying to fulfill in your own heart or life?
In other words, why the pull? The attraction?
What is it about their character or make up that pulls you to them? What are you trying to fulfill in your own heart or life?
In other words, why the pull? The attraction?
I don´t agree with the red letters.
I have known some who were protitutes, killers, drug abusers, etc. and have changed from the inside out. That is an useful reference to know the person we are going to deal with but, with some human bias, these could be prejudices and their stains.
I respect your opinion but, I´m aware many could le to hide that thuth easily and, doing it, became liars and cheaters.
I believe, if a person loves, she / he will be open as a flower, to see his/ her deepest real beauty (and ugliness).
I have known some who were protitutes, killers, drug abusers, etc. and have changed from the inside out. That is an useful reference to know the person we are going to deal with but, with some human bias, these could be prejudices and their stains.
I respect your opinion but, I´m aware many could le to hide that thuth easily and, doing it, became liars and cheaters.
I believe, if a person loves, she / he will be open as a flower, to see his/ her deepest real beauty (and ugliness).
I wondered if I should elaborate on that. When I say "look to their past", what I mean is, did they decide to start attending church as soon as they realized that YOU attend church? Did they suddenly become serious in their faith once they realized you were serious in yours? Red flag.
I need at least a realistic amount of history showing that a person is genuine in their faith. Whether you were a prostitute, killer, or druggie... if you've come to know Christ, or even just cleaned yourself up, I would need to be able to see that you had been at it long enough to show a commitment to your new way of life. So while I agree that people can and do change for the better, I still stand by my statement that you need to look at the way they've been living their life prior to meeting you, in order to determine their true character.
I need at least a realistic amount of history showing that a person is genuine in their faith. Whether you were a prostitute, killer, or druggie... if you've come to know Christ, or even just cleaned yourself up, I would need to be able to see that you had been at it long enough to show a commitment to your new way of life. So while I agree that people can and do change for the better, I still stand by my statement that you need to look at the way they've been living their life prior to meeting you, in order to determine their true character.
S
LOL no I am a woman and as far as I know always been a female and never changed. Well I guess my point in my statement is that I am angry and hurt and finding it very difficult not to lose my temper and stay calm. I'm trying valarian root, chamomile, etc... One minute I think I'm ok and the next I am not. I am upset about the dreams lost and that when someone says they are a specific way I expect them to live up to it and not give up! Jesus didn't give up!
Well I guess my point in my statement is that I am angry and hurt and finding it very difficult not to lose my temper and stay calm. I'm trying valarian root, chamomile, etc... One minute I think I'm ok and the next I am not. I am upset about the dreams lost and that when someone says they are a specific way I expect them to live up to it and not give up! Jesus didn't give up!
S
After reading most of the responses I should also state that I moved out in the country. It seems that every one around here drinks alcohol, is not on a schedule and yes go to church but not practicing what they preach. It could be the area and yet I moved to fast in this situation and now I'm upset with myself. I am reading my Bible and am very "self-involved" with my thoughts, patterns and actions. I may still make the wrong mistakes yet the intention is not to repeat bad patterns.
I mean I live in a downtown area and everyone also drinks. I went to the bar saturday night. And people from church were there having drinks. The catch is, there is a huge difference in drinking and getting drunk. Nowhere does the bible prohibit christians from drinking alcohol. Some denominations may teach against it, but the act of drinking by itself is not disallowed. There are many verses though about the dangers of getting drunk, not to mention the obvious health risks that come along with that. So saying everyone drinks isn't that bad. As long as they are 21 then it's kinda normal. Now if you are having issues of always finding drunks/alcoholics then yes I could easily understand your frustration.
Oh! Thanks! I understand it better now.
That may serve, A LOT, but everydays experienc ad also the newspapers tell us that isn't enough... There are too many broken hearted people (I'm one), too many broekn promises that, I have cried whn reading GOD's views on Ezekiel's and other writer's and life.
I wish I had found the safest formula, but I quitted.
That may serve, A LOT, but everydays experienc ad also the newspapers tell us that isn't enough... There are too many broken hearted people (I'm one), too many broekn promises that, I have cried whn reading GOD's views on Ezekiel's and other writer's and life.
I wish I had found the safest formula, but I quitted.
