Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

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J

Jullianna

Guest
#10,441
#10,441
So....a friend who has extremely negative tendencies/is extremely controlling in relationships/makes a LOT of anti-men comments asked me today why I thought she was still single. I told her that as long as she wanted to be the husband she would probably not have one. Guess whose favorite person I am not at the moment?

I love her. I want the best for her. I have listened for years to her rant against men. I have prayed with/for her.

An honest friend will answer you even if you don't like the answer.

Could I have cushioned my answer a bit? Maybe. Would it have had the same impact? I don't know.
 
1

1still_waters

Guest
#10,442
#10,442
Jullianna said:
So....a friend who has extremely negative tendencies/is extremely controlling in relationships/makes a LOT of anti-men comments asked me today why I thought she was still single. I told her that as long as she wanted to be the husband she would probably not have one. Guess whose favorite person I am not at the moment?

I love her. I want the best for her. I have listened for years to her rant against men. I have prayed with/for her.

An honest friend will answer you even if you don't like the answer.

Could I have cushioned my answer a bit? Maybe. Would it have had the same impact? I don't know.
Click to expand...
Proverbs 27
[SUP]6 [/SUP]Wounds from a friend can be trusted,
but an enemy multiplies kisses.
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#10,444
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#10,444
Jullianna said:
So....a friend who has extremely negative tendencies/is extremely controlling in relationships/makes a LOT of anti-men comments asked me today why I thought she was still single. I told her that as long as she wanted to be the husband she would probably not have one. Guess whose favorite person I am not at the moment?

I love her. I want the best for her. I have listened for years to her rant against men. I have prayed with/for her.

An honest friend will answer you even if you don't like the answer.

Could I have cushioned my answer a bit? Maybe. Would it have had the same impact? I don't know.
Click to expand...

she asked, I think you did her a favor.
 
Oncefallen

Oncefallen

Idiot in Chief
Staff member
#10,445
Jan 15, 2011
6,057
3,354
113
#10,445
Jullianna said:
So....a friend who has extremely negative tendencies/is extremely controlling in relationships/makes a LOT of anti-men comments asked me today why I thought she was still single. I told her that as long as she wanted to be the husband she would probably not have one. Guess whose favorite person I am not at the moment?

I love her. I want the best for her. I have listened for years to her rant against men. I have prayed with/for her.

An honest friend will answer you even if you don't like the answer.

Could I have cushioned my answer a bit? Maybe. Would it have had the same impact? I don't know.
Click to expand...
What I can't figure out is if she's so opposed to men, why would she be concerned about being single? Simple logic says that someone who doesn't like dogs shouldn't get one. If you don't like cats, don't get one. If you have major issues with the opposite gender, why would it suddenly become logical to become involved with one of them?
 
LightningClap0002

LightningClap0002

Senior Member
#10,446
Feb 10, 2008
3,371
16
38
#10,446
Oncefallen said:
What I can't figure out is if she's so opposed to men, why would she be concerned about being single? Simple logic says that someone who doesn't like dogs shouldn't get one. If you don't like cats, don't get one. If you have major issues with the opposite gender, why would it suddenly become logical to become involved with one of them?
Click to expand...
It's a lot easier to find flaws in others than ourselves. I'm sure she expected a response along the lines "you just haven't found one that deserves you yet." I doubt her heart is actually opposed to men even if her attitude is. It is ironic, though, when we make our own Catch-22 and end up making our situation worse while trying to justify or make sense of it.
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#10,447
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#10,447
Oncefallen said:
What I can't figure out is if she's so opposed to men, why would she be concerned about being single? Simple logic says that someone who doesn't like dogs shouldn't get one. If you don't like cats, don't get one. If you have major issues with the opposite gender, why would it suddenly become logical to become involved with one of them?
Click to expand...

Perhaps she wants the Not-man.

A man who does Not Porn, Football, Couch, Belch, Fart, Fast Food, Cars, Hairy, Lead, Provide, Fix, Messy, Beer, Zone Out, or whatever stereotype she's come up with.

Rather than assume we are different. unique butterflies or whatever, she is content with the Caricature Pinata she's so willingly constructed for herself.

If she beats it hard enough I'm sure candy will come out.



Men love Candy.
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#10,448
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#10,448
Praying for my friend and her Daughter who lost her Husband and father.
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#10,449
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#10,449
I bought this cool toothbrush today. It has these little extra bristles to floss your teeth and brush at the same time. It still recommends that you floss, which I do. But it works, it's actually getting in between my teeth.
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#10,451
#10,451
BrootsJarod.jpg

Jon Gries (Uncle Rico) as Broots in "The Pretender".
 
N

NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#10,453
#10,453
Liamson said:
Perhaps she wants the Not-man.

A man who does Not Porn, Football, Couch, Belch, Fart, Fast Food, Cars, Hairy, Lead, Provide, Fix, Messy, Beer, Zone Out, or whatever stereotype she's come up with.

Rather than assume we are different. unique butterflies or whatever, she is content with the Caricature Pinata she's so willingly constructed for herself.

If she beats it hard enough I'm sure candy will come out.



Men love Candy.
Click to expand...
I like candy
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#10,454
#10,454
Oncefallen said:
What I can't figure out is if she's so opposed to men, why would she be concerned about being single? Simple logic says that someone who doesn't like dogs shouldn't get one. If you don't like cats, don't get one. If you have major issues with the opposite gender, why would it suddenly become logical to become involved with one of them?
Click to expand...
When I listen, I hear anger, bitterness and pain. Until a person comes to terms with that I don't know how they aren't setting up pretty much every new relationship to fail.
 
I

IloveyouGod

Guest
#10,455
#10,455
Anger, bitterness and pain, then she must have had a bad experience of some sort. I don't know if she shared it with you or not. But that's not a normal feeling especially that it's taking so long like that.

I'd pray for her for God's word to penetrate through her heart and heal her!


Jullianna said:
When I listen, I hear anger, bitterness and pain. Until a person comes to terms with that I don't know how they aren't setting up pretty much every new relationship to fail.
Click to expand...
 
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IloveyouGod

Guest
#10,456
#10,456
My friend is visiting Canada for the first time ever n' I told her I live in Toronto, you must come visit me. So she's like oh!! is that the city with the mayor who takes drugs??!! :rolleyes:

So I was like Aaaaa, Yeah, pretty much it is!! :D
 
J

just_monicat

Senior Member
#10,457
Jan 1, 2014
1,284
17
0
#10,457
Jullianna said:
So....a friend who has extremely negative tendencies/is extremely controlling in relationships/makes a LOT of anti-men comments asked me today why I thought she was still single. I told her that as long as she wanted to be the husband she would probably not have one. Guess whose favorite person I am not at the moment?

I love her. I want the best for her. I have listened for years to her rant against men. I have prayed with/for her.

An honest friend will answer you even if you don't like the answer.

Could I have cushioned my answer a bit? Maybe. Would it have had the same impact? I don't know.
Click to expand...
about ten days ago, i had almost the same conversation, except reverse the genders. he's had bad experiences so every girl is viewed through the filter of those experiences. he's openly so misogynistic and he has no clue how he sounds. i tried to suggest that he might benefit from looking further at the reasons he was attracted to the last (unstable) woman in the first place. or better, why he acted on that.

*crickets*

i wish i had been as blunt as you were. next time...
 
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MissCris

Guest
#10,458
#10,458
I keep wondering how long it will take before people start to realize I mean it this time. Before they accept that I am finished, and before they start being even more distant with me.

You can prepare yourself for things like this, but no amount of preparation can help it to not hurt.

...on a happier note...
...um...

the sun came out today for a while? So that was nice.
 
rachelsedge

rachelsedge

Senior Member
#10,459
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
81
48
34
#10,459
Been doing 40 minutes on the treadmill in the evening. It's a slow pace, but it's a start. I'd rather do racquetball but I am thankful that we do have a treadmill in the house. :) On a side note, I probably shouldn't listen to my music as loudly as I do when I exercise. But it gets me so pumped!
 
A

abbiejean

Guest
#10,460
#10,460
just_monicat said:
about ten days ago, i had almost the same conversation, except reverse the genders. he's had bad experiences so every girl is viewed through the filter of those experiences. he's openly so misogynistic and he has no clue how he sounds. i tried to suggest that he might benefit from looking further at the reasons he was attracted to the last (unstable) woman in the first place. or better, why he acted on that.

*crickets*

i wish i had been as blunt as you were. next time...
Click to expand...
Old patterns, habits, behaviors and mindsets can lock us in and cripple healthy choices. Had a dearly beloved female friend show me that about one year ago. I poured out my heart regarding a relationship, she listened and asked a question or two and I gave her my honest answers. I "saw the light" of what I was doing and it was life changing for me. She has become a dear friend. Bible says "iron sharpeneth iron."

People in pain, especially if they feel justified in having that pain, will hold on it to and hang it around their neck. If in dealing with them you can get them to go inward and start to strip away the layers and excuses and justifications and get to the bare bones of the issue, they will see that "wow, I got myself here, I need to fix this mess and I need to change." Ask questions in such a way as the answers they give shed light on their problem. Probe gently and pray like crazy (picture the duck with the legs paddling for all it's worth under the water) when spending quality time with them.

Talking or judging with "you need to do this" or "you should've or could've done that" doesn't work. It don't. It builds walls. I statements such as "I feel this" or "Based on what I think I heard you say, I feel this." Takes the spotlight if you will off the other person and they feel they can let down their "guard" and share.

God gave us two ears (yes, Abbie, two ears :) this applies to you as well) and one tongue. Listen more, talk less. Hey, folks, I share my day with one furball of a kitty, Gracie. I live in an apartment complex with seniors, people in their 70's, 80's, 90's and two are over 100. I am 54. My conversations for the day are on these forums.

Conversations offline with Gracie go like this.

Me: Gracie, I love you.
Gracie: Meow, Meow
Me: You love me, Gracie
Gracie: Meow, Meow
Me: Are we good?
Gracie: Meow, Meow

I'm not crazy folks. Just being real, being me. :) Appreciate y'all.
 
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