What Kind of Household Were You Raised In?

[seoulsearch]

Hi Everyone,

I was talking today with a member of my family who was raised in another country. We were discussing the differences in cultural and social structures between her home country and the United States, and how there is so much more diversity here.

I was just curious as to what kind of household you were raised in, and how it influences your life in regards to how you raise your children, conduct your own marriage, or search for a marriage partner? For instance, what things from your own home life are you hoping to repeat in your own family, and what things do you hope to avoid?

I usually hang out in the singles forum , but decided to post this here because I thought there might be a greater number of answers. I realize the poll answers don't cover every situation so I'm hoping you'll post your story here as well.

All thoughts and insights are welcome!

 

[seoulsearch]

P.S. The poll is anonymous (no one will know which options apply to you), and multiple choice because there could be several options that fit your unique history.

Thank you for sharing!

 

[Fenner]

I was raised by both parents married, sometimes happy sometimes yelling at each other and my Dad who owned a business firing my and my Mom saying , good. They had good times and times that were pretty rough but when the chips were down and my Dad was bed ridden with cancer my Mom took care of him. I recall seeing her holding him around the shoulders, like a hug crying saying she wished she could take the pain away. I know they loved each other.

My parents loved me and I them, things weren't always Leave It To Beaver normal, but my happiness was important to them.

 

[Tintin]

I was raised in a Christian home by both parents. They had their verbal spars every now and then, but it was/is a loving, godly marriage. Dad was around whenever he wasn't working, but he wasn't the most affectionate of fathers, so I missed out on that. Otherwise, I was and am greatly blessed.

 

[biscuit]

My father was 25 year Army and wasn't home that often, and when he was, my parents went to war with one another. Often, his departure to an oversea assignment would be a relief. I guess you can say I was very dependent on TV to understand how a real family should be. I love shows that depicted the family life such: Leave It To Beaver, Ozzie & Harriet, Father Knows Best, The Donna Reed Show, My Three Sons ... and the list goes. I learned alot from shows such as these since my father was rarely home and my mother really didn't know how to deal with boys. I have two sisters & 2 brothers. It was really Marilyn Monroe & Sophia Loren that kept this 6 year old boy glued to the TV set.

 

[mamasan]

My Mom and Daddy were married for 70 yrs before he passed away in 1994. Not just married, they were committed to the marriage. Because of the example they put before their 5 children, only 1 of them has had a divorce. The oldest son was married 44 yrs before he passed away, the other brother was married 66 yrs before he died, one sister has been married has been married 66 yrs, I have been married 48 yrs. My Daddy & Mom were both saved when the older children were small, and all of them have been saved, but not all of them are living for the Lord. I came along a little later in life, and have served Jesus ever since I got saved. My parents came through the Depression, so they were very frugal, we did not have alot of material things. But there was never a day in my life that I wondered if I was loved. And they believed in using a "switch" off a tree when we needed to be disciplined. I wouldn't trade my childhood for anyones.

 

[biscuit]

My Mom and Daddy were married for 70 yrs before he passed away in 1994. Not just married, they were committed to the marriage. Because of the example they put before their 5 children, only 1 of them has had a divorce. The oldest son was married 44 yrs before he passed away, the other brother was married 66 yrs before he died, one sister has been married has been married 66 yrs, I have been married 48 yrs. My Daddy & Mom were both saved when the older children were small, and all of them have been saved, but not all of them are living for the Lord. I came along a little later in life, and have served Jesus ever since I got saved. My parents came through the Depression, so they were very frugal, we did not have alot of material things. But there was never a day in my life that I wondered if I was loved. And they believed in using a "switch" off a tree when we needed to be disciplined. I wouldn't trade my childhood for anyones.

OUCH !! I do remember those switches. LOL!!

 

[Toska]

I was blessed to be raised by both parents in a loving household. Of course, they had their differences like every couple but, they did their best to keep me and my siblings from witnessing anything other than love. My parents will be celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary in July and I cannot wait. I am already planning a huge party for them. In this day and age, 50 years seems pretty amazing to me--something definitely worth celebrating

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

Who was i raised by? My nana, my crazy crazy Aunt Bonnie, and my mom whenever she came around.

What things from my home life do i want to repeat in my own life? My nana, and my Aunt were psycho, They both had some major mental illness's and they raised my cousins too. So when things would get really bad there, me and my cousins would try and make the whole thing a joke and laugh about it. We would make up these funny story's to try and get our minds off of what was happening to and around us. I had gotten a 3rd degree burn and was taken away, while i was in the hospital the nurses to make me laugh would take the bandages and wrap them around my arms and hands to make me look like a mummy.

Because of that a sense of humor is really important to me. I don't know if i will ever get married or even date anyone, but if i do that is a big must. I don't want a serious somber boyfriend, husband, whatever. I think you can get through a lot of things if you just look at the situation differently. I don't feel sorry for myself i mean I wish a lot of things would have been different, but i look at myself as being blessed because God didn't have to give me anything, but he gave me a sense of humor and people around me with a sense of humor to help.


What do i want to avoid? Anyone with a mental illness!

 

[seoulsearch]

I'm really enjoying all the stories I'm reading here, and hope that people will continue to be encouraged to share.

As much as I love the stories of happily married parents who have been together forever, I just also wanted to say that if you are someone who grew up in a not-so-perfect family, please don't feel ashamed or embarrassed about posting something if you would like to contribute. I have nothing but the utmost respect for loving, God-fearing families but I'm also concerned that some people who might want to add their thoughts might think, "Wow, my family was a mess. I can't compete with some of the bright, shining, happy stories here... Why bother?"

But we DO want to hear from you!

One of my goals of this thread was for others to see that even if the circumstances are less than ideal, God can still work in us all and our past does not have to be our future.

Some of the most amazing people I've ever met grew up in TERRIBLE circumstances... But God helped them to choose a different path.

And that always inspires me to make better choices in my own life as well.

 

[Angela53510]

I wonder why you didn't have the option of two happily married parents?

My parents were married 63 years when my father passed away. My mom is still alive, but misses him and has given up on life. He was her life.

Life was not perfect, but I had a strong example of what commitment means. I went astray for quite a few years, but the faith of my grandmother brought me back! My extended family was also a very important part of my life and still is.

My own family is doing well. I have 4 married children, no divorces, and 3 wonderful grandchildren. I have been married to my husband for 33 years, and we love each other more than ever. We had some difficult years, but our kids always knew how much we loved them.

I can only praise God for my family, and that God gave me hope in him!

 

[seoulsearch]

I wonder why you didn't have the option of two happily married parents?

Angela, if you take a second look at the answers in the poll, the choice of "I was raised by both parents who were happily married" is currently the answer with the most number of votes (unless) it's changed by the time I've finished writing this.

(That option was always there... maybe when you read it the first time it just blended in with all the other answers.)

No worries.

 

[Aerendyl]

I believe I have been brought up in an amazing family. My parents have raised me in such a way that it was possible to make mistakes. A lot. But they accepted that growing up and becoming mature requires making mistakes, so they were very forgiving and would allow me to make these mistakes, they allowed me to learn things the hard way.

They are also the kind of parents that made me pursue my dreams. Living abroad temporarily had always been a huge dream of mine. Especially my dad hated the idea of me living far away, but yet he encouraged me to take the opportunity when it arised and tried to pretend that he was fine with it. This parenting attitude is one of the major reasons I can truly say that I have so far lived to the fullest, that I have taken every opportunity to fulfil another dream, that I have been able to grow up by making a lot of mistakes. And I will be forever thankful for that.

 

[BananaPie]

I was raised by a bunch of Baptists.

 

[Descyple]

I was raised by the two talking beavers from "Chronicles of Narnia", that's why I'm so charming!!!

Unfortunately I didn't inherit their British accents, eh!!!

 

[seoulsearch]

I was raised by the two talking beavers from "Chronicles of Narnia", that's why I'm so charming!!!

Unfortunately I didn't inherit their British accents, eh!!!

Whoops... totally my bad, Descyple!!! I completely forgot to include "Raised in a Beaver Dam with a Canadian Accent" as one of the poll choices... How could I have ever overlooked that one!!

 

[RedTent]

Until I was almost six I was raised by a roaring 20's hot mamma with a Marylyn Monroe figure who did things like leave for awhile to be the head girl in a nudist colony harem. Papa was a big fat man with a cigar and a large mill he owned and must run. He never spoke to me. My biological parents then got me, not that they wanted to. Mom was pregnant, had been sick while I wasn't with them, but she said she would take me to change me. She always told me that I just wouldn't follow her instructions well enough to change enough. The baby came, and was taught that I just didn't measure up.

So I was raised with parents who loved each other and even my sister, but by the time I was 14 they said that if I stayed in their house I was to stay in the attic, and not ask for any furniture from the house to help that unfinished room. Mom and Dad were complete opposites to how I had been raised. They said they were Christian.

I knew there was a God and searched for Him always. I found an aunt who knew the Lord. I found beauty and family in books, in God, in the gorgeous flowers around our house, and in my girl friends. What I missed was a lot of myself, it is hard to accept yourself when parents say you aren't right. It took years to accept God's word for it.

 

[kei]

Grew up with a grandmother who was very much a Christian but surrounded by a lot of other people who were carnal minded and only recognized the lord when things went wrong.

 

[IntoTheVoid]

I had a solid family upbringing. My parents had their own businesses and worked pretty much on a 9 to 5 existence so they were pretty much always around. And on the rare times they weren't my older sister would look after me.

Both parents were atheist. Religion was never discussed unless I asked about it. They explained what people believed and didn't cast judgement on anyone.

I couldn't have asked for better parents. I loved and respected them. I never had a hand raised to me but I knew when to listen and when not to.

My father passed away in 2001 when i was in my early 20s. And I now realise he was the cornerstone of the family as we all seem to have drifted apart since his death. We haven't fallen out or anything.. We just don't really keep in touch much even though we all live in a 2 mile radius of each other, this is something I know I need to address.

 

[J-Kay-2]

I was raised in a home with both parents and two brothers. I was oldest.
My mother had me from short marriage, met my (step) dad when I was one
yr. old and he was only Father I ever knew.

I never knew my real father nor his family. When one of his grandparents
died, my Mother and I went to the funeral. I was 17 yrs old and as I said
never knew bio father or family. At the funeral I remember a tall man walking
down the aisle and my Mother nudged me and said, "that is your father."
Gee, all I saw was the back of a man. He could have been anyone off the
street because I never even saw his face. When I got home that day, I
went to my dad (step) and told him, 'Dad, I am so glad you are my father."
It was never talked about all those years. I was not allowed to bring the
topic up. But, believe me I was so blessed to be as close to my dad as
I was.

He and Mom were married for 50 some years and I was raised on a farm.
My dad was a hard man to please. He was harder on my brothers. We
were close, but he was the BOSS and I knew my limits. Because of his
hard ways of raising us, each of us left home as soon as we graduated
from High School. Brothers went off to the Military. I worked and married.

I just celebrated my 50th wedding anniversary last August and have
3 (oops ) 2 children. Son married w/ 3 boys. Daughter married w/ 1 girl.
45 yr old daughter ( oldest ) died in 2007. I have 5 grand children.
One 22 yr. old grandson also died in 2008.

My family life carried over into my own because the husband is head of
the home. I have had to submit as a wife can. I miss my parents. Yet
at the same time, relieved due to the excessive issues that arose later
in life. That is another story for another time.... sorry I took up lots of
room. ~ Happily married in WV ~ Christ is our Savior. ~ J~K~2