S
samk
Guest
Hello, I have been a christian for over 10 years now and never been able to get in touch with God. It's just terrible. I hear all this talk about having a "relationship" with God. What kind of relationship? All I know as a christian is basically:
1)-reading the bible and trying to understand it, which I'm not good at and I usually end up totally frustrated cause I only get questions and can't decide how to interpret a verse or come up with own conclusions and answers to questions like "Does God still heal" or "Does God want to heal"? I am basically always torn between different opinions and cannot decide who is right.
2)-talking to God about my worries and problems (but this also quickly leads to me becoming despaired cause I have many problems and this is also why I wish God would just talk to me or give me some kind of sign which shows me that He's there) In all those years I have basically never been able to get any feedback or sign from God showing me that He's there. I totally suffer from this. And the more despaired my personal situation becomes the more I needed to be able to get in touch with God. I really don't know what to do anymore. I don't even know what to say to God anymore.
How is that a relationship?
My problems are so overwhelming that I am out of words. Even when I try to sit down and "spend time with God" I just dont know what to do or say! I sit there and only become more despaired and think WHY doesn't God do something? Why doesn't He talk to to me or simply give me some kind of sign to help me with my hopelessness? I have tried a lot over the years. I have travelled to ministers for prayer and they prayed and nothing happened and then I went home and was alone again with my questions and my disappointment. I simply don't understand it. Why are there people who get saved and speak in tongues and who are being healed by God and for them everything's good and then there are people like me for whom simply nothing works? I also tried to get healed years ago and it didn't work. For me simply nothing ever worked even though I so wanted to experience God. I thought if I could only be touched by God then everything would be good. But I was never able to. I was given advice like "You have to understand God's love" or "you need a revelation of His love". Great, but how does this help me?
I don't know HOW to get such a revelation! I don't really know how God is. When I read something scary in the NT then I become scared of God. Or when I sin I feel miserable and think that I suck as a christian. I feel guilty most of the time. I don't know what to do anymore. I have listened to so many mp3s about all kinds of topics like hearing God and none of this stuff really helped me. Usually it always comes down to the person needing to have faith and not being allowed to doubt and this is exactly my issue. I struggle with doubts. The more I am told that I need faith and must not doubt the more insecure I become. Nobody understood these issues. I was given advice like I need to read more and proclaim more to build up my faith but this doesn't work. It doesn't help with the doubts at all. The doubts are totally crippling my faith. I dont even know if I still have faith or not. How can I tell if I have faith or not when I feel absolutely nothing and when my mind is empty or confused? These are issues which normal people don't understand. None of the advice help me, like for example "Just tell God all your concerns". I already DID that! How does this help me when I'm despaired and feel like losing my mind cause of all my sorrows?!?
1)-reading the bible and trying to understand it, which I'm not good at and I usually end up totally frustrated cause I only get questions and can't decide how to interpret a verse or come up with own conclusions and answers to questions like "Does God still heal" or "Does God want to heal"? I am basically always torn between different opinions and cannot decide who is right.
2)-talking to God about my worries and problems (but this also quickly leads to me becoming despaired cause I have many problems and this is also why I wish God would just talk to me or give me some kind of sign which shows me that He's there) In all those years I have basically never been able to get any feedback or sign from God showing me that He's there. I totally suffer from this. And the more despaired my personal situation becomes the more I needed to be able to get in touch with God. I really don't know what to do anymore. I don't even know what to say to God anymore.
How is that a relationship?
My problems are so overwhelming that I am out of words. Even when I try to sit down and "spend time with God" I just dont know what to do or say! I sit there and only become more despaired and think WHY doesn't God do something? Why doesn't He talk to to me or simply give me some kind of sign to help me with my hopelessness? I have tried a lot over the years. I have travelled to ministers for prayer and they prayed and nothing happened and then I went home and was alone again with my questions and my disappointment. I simply don't understand it. Why are there people who get saved and speak in tongues and who are being healed by God and for them everything's good and then there are people like me for whom simply nothing works? I also tried to get healed years ago and it didn't work. For me simply nothing ever worked even though I so wanted to experience God. I thought if I could only be touched by God then everything would be good. But I was never able to. I was given advice like "You have to understand God's love" or "you need a revelation of His love". Great, but how does this help me?
I don't know HOW to get such a revelation! I don't really know how God is. When I read something scary in the NT then I become scared of God. Or when I sin I feel miserable and think that I suck as a christian. I feel guilty most of the time. I don't know what to do anymore. I have listened to so many mp3s about all kinds of topics like hearing God and none of this stuff really helped me. Usually it always comes down to the person needing to have faith and not being allowed to doubt and this is exactly my issue. I struggle with doubts. The more I am told that I need faith and must not doubt the more insecure I become. Nobody understood these issues. I was given advice like I need to read more and proclaim more to build up my faith but this doesn't work. It doesn't help with the doubts at all. The doubts are totally crippling my faith. I dont even know if I still have faith or not. How can I tell if I have faith or not when I feel absolutely nothing and when my mind is empty or confused? These are issues which normal people don't understand. None of the advice help me, like for example "Just tell God all your concerns". I already DID that! How does this help me when I'm despaired and feel like losing my mind cause of all my sorrows?!?
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