I'm fat. Always have been. It bothered me when I was a little kid. Not so much because little kids can be cruel with name calling but for some reason when 2 or more kids would try & pick a fight with me or a group would come at me,I was always told by the Nuns that because I was bigger I can't be fighting back or hitting because I could hurt them. I used to think,even as a little kid that this was insanity..."So like 4 or 5 kids can call me names or try to physically fight me,but because I weigh more than them,I'm not allowed to fight back because heaven forbid I get ahold of one of them & hurt them it's the end of the world?"
As a teen I came into my own. I was a Metalhead,had long hair and was into art,played drums and didn't care about the norms of society,I had sort of a "heck with you world!" attitude,but using much more graphic wording.
In having the " I don't care what people think of me attitude",somehow it caused people to want to be around me more. Go figure? I guess through music I also gained confidence. Girls either loved me or hated me.
Some found me attractive,other's were repulsed by me.
I realized early on that looks are subjective.
No matter how ugly you think you are,someone will find you attractive to some greater or lesser degree.
When I got saved,then I started to get insecure about my looks. Mostly because back then pretty much every Christian was cookie cutter looking. All the guess had short hair,dressed normal,and everyone acted so proper. Many of the guys I went to church with were really fit too. I should say..not fit,but thin..thinner than me. Talking to many Christian girls at the time,not only did they all envision the perfect Christian man to be head of his own ministry,know the Bible cover to cover,dress like a TV evangelist,have loads of $$$ to support them,but they liked thin,clean cut guys. Of which I was none of and never could see myself even wanting to be.
By the time I hit 29,I just remember thinking to myself.."This isn't freedom...it's free doom. Why am I trying to be something I'm not?"
Ever since then I just came to be much more comfortable in who I am as well as what I look like.
If woman doesn't like me for how I look. That's fine. To each is own.
Personally,I'm not out to impress or conform to what anyone wants. I'm too old for all that,and I just can't be bothered.
I think one thing that bothers me is whenever I hear people say thing's like "Oh he/she is some awesome.They're spiritual,funny,sweet,wonderful,smart,talented...if only he/she weren't so fat/blonde/tall/skinny/hairy/bald."
I suppose if looks is your deciding factor in whom you date or marry,that's your choice and more power to ya' in finding someone who meets all your criteria. Mutual attraction is important. I would never try to downplay that one bit.
I find it funny though when many of the people who say "I'd never date that person because they're too fat." - are many times in fact,"fat" themselves or not the most physically impressive specimen in the lab.
So yeah...that's my rambling's on being fat. lol
I don't care...I am me,and it's never hurt my dating life. I was married to a really attractive woman for 9 yrs too,so I guess not all fat people are unattractive. lol
In an unrelated though...
Is it almost March yet? I could go for a Shamrock Shake!!!!