Confession Thread.
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kenthomas27
Guest
I have a confession to make too. When I was wee little, my grandfather was sick and I prayed one night in the stillness of the dark when moonlight cast satellite light against a ceiling light fixture that always looked like a top hat to me that my grandfather could be healed. My mother woke me up the next morning and she looked to be crying. She told me he had died and to get up and get dressed. After that I was scared of praying and didn't until many years later.
When Christ came into my heart, I realized that the fear of praying was actually worse that the perception of the unanswered prayer. Do you see the deception of fear? The lies it tells?
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
Galatians 5:1 (NIV)
But I realized that the freedom I employed from the bondage of fear and deceit was paid with a heavy price; the blood of Christ. This cost required me to be diligent with my faith and to persevere. I could only achieve this through interaction with other Christians or daily devotion or reading the word.
Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.
1 Timothy 4:15-17 (NIV)
And knowing that being a part of this exclusive membership - the Body of Christ - I became apart from the world. In a way it made me an enemy of the world.
All men will hate you because of me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved.
Matthew 10:22 (NIV)
It was those many years later under the satellite gray light of the moon that I laid up under the sheets and dark and prayed that my dad would be healed in that same personal way. He was dead the next day and though it crossed my mind to be afraid to pray again, God had allowed me to look through the dark glass and see face to face. I was set higher up to see over the mountain obstructing my vision; being privy to the very tree of life!
Blessed are those who wash their robes, that they may have the right to the tree of life and may go through the gates into the city.
Revelation 22:14 (NIV)
I am going to pray ww_21 that you understand your freedom through Christ. It doesn't absolve you from hardship. It absolves you of fear.
Confession: I still compare myself to other women sometimes. I used to be really, really bad at that in high school, it got better in college and I'm much better now. But, I still sometimes do. It's stupid, it's never helpful and I never feel better, and even if it did make me feel better, at what cost? Putting someone else down in my mind?
It's all relative, too. I say to myself sometimes, "I'd rather have her health issues but have a model's body like she does than have good health and scarred body the way I do." But, then I'm sure there's someone who would rather have my scarred legs than no legs at all. It's stupid wishful thinking that gets me nowhere and is unhealthy for myself and for how I view others.
I think it's my root of insecurity, of not feeling good enough, that pulls me that direction. I need to let God garden and dig in my heart.
It's all relative, too. I say to myself sometimes, "I'd rather have her health issues but have a model's body like she does than have good health and scarred body the way I do." But, then I'm sure there's someone who would rather have my scarred legs than no legs at all. It's stupid wishful thinking that gets me nowhere and is unhealthy for myself and for how I view others.
I think it's my root of insecurity, of not feeling good enough, that pulls me that direction. I need to let God garden and dig in my heart.
there's major drama in my family. like epic craziness (mostly because of one person) and we all are players in this ridiculous show. i've spent my life fleeing that flavor of crazy and taking leave from that insanity.
because i hate the drama, i've navigated much of it the last couple years by greatly limiting my contact with the majority of them.
what is scariest to me is that, while i miss them, i miss the drama even less.
the acknowledgement of how easily i've come to accept that fact (and its implications) is really troubling, or at least terribly sad.
i don't know how to handle it, aside from prayer. i need to re-engage, and it won't be easy.
because i hate the drama, i've navigated much of it the last couple years by greatly limiting my contact with the majority of them.
what is scariest to me is that, while i miss them, i miss the drama even less.
the acknowledgement of how easily i've come to accept that fact (and its implications) is really troubling, or at least terribly sad.
i don't know how to handle it, aside from prayer. i need to re-engage, and it won't be easy.
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ww_21
Guest
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ww_21
Guest
Misty.. my secret is that I do that.. every night. I have been for months. In January I stopped for about three weeks and now I'm back to that girl again.
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Shouryu
Guest
I confess: at one point, I was crying myself to sleep every night, and the way I stopped it was to start drinking myself to sleep every night. 
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ww_21
Guest
I confess: at one point, I was crying myself to sleep every night, and the way I stopped it was to start drinking myself to sleep every night.
I am at that point. I've never had alcohol but it crosses my mind lately... what if it could 'numb' the pain and allow me to sleep. I no longer see a point in being the person I am, being kind and loving when everyone keeps kicking me down. It's not self pity it's just the way life is. I'm so very broken I've trusted people who broke me at my weakest moments and right now I have a hard time living life normally. I randomly find myself breaking down... crying because I see something... yeah.
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MidniteWelder
Guest
It's possible those people didn't fully understand what they were doing.
One reason why Christ said..."Father forgive them for they know not what they do" when they ridiculed him and put him on the cross at his weakest moment.
If you've been persecuted for Christ and shared in his sufferings...you've been blessed
1 Peter 4:13
But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ,
so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.
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MissCris
Guest
This.
I sooooo get this.
I do it a lot less than I used to, as well, but sometimes...
Well, just this evening, I had to go to Walmart. As I was walking through the parking lot, I wasn't even really paying attention to much except the icy spots on the ground and vehicles that seemed like they wanted to run me over.
Closer to the doors, I looked up, and there was this young woman walking out.
Everything about her was beautiful, from her hair, to her face, to the way she dressed, to how she walked.
And I felt instantly bad about myself...my stupid purple (faded to pink) hair, my faded hoodie, my runny nose, my weight, my height...everything.
And to counteract it, I thought "She's probably not very smart...I bet she's an airhead."
Which only made me feel worse. Soooo much worse.
I've always been really hard on myself for thinking anything like that about other women. It's unfair to them, and really, it's unfair to myself, too.
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ww_21
Guest
They didn't and even if they did, I have already forgiven them for the deeds. I just wish I could heal.
So much pain...
Lord, I pray that you would see the grief and sorrow in those here who you call beloved, and that you would stretch your hand over them and drain it away. You know them intimately, down to the depths of their souls. Show your face to them, give them hope, bring them into the fullness of your light. Hear their weeping Father, and give them comfort and peace that passes all understanding. Amen.
Lord, I pray that you would see the grief and sorrow in those here who you call beloved, and that you would stretch your hand over them and drain it away. You know them intimately, down to the depths of their souls. Show your face to them, give them hope, bring them into the fullness of your light. Hear their weeping Father, and give them comfort and peace that passes all understanding. Amen.
I have had the preasure to love you, as a friend and, if you just watched this video, Free Hugs in Sondrio, Italy... Christian ways? - YouTube
my tears will be drawn close.
I love you sister! And there´s no way you can look at my face, now.
Let´s watch this video. Be drawn close. (<<<< a link)
Free Hugs in Sondrio, Italy... Christian ways? - YouTube (This link)
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Confession.... I used to feel like I was undeserving of love because I'm overweight. Not that I ever looked down on other overweight people ..just myself. I felt like it's my own fault because it's something you can 'fix' and that I would never be selfish enough to expect anyone to have to settle with me. Thankfully a lot of very good friends and the good Lord opening my eyes I now realize that God loved me so much (just as I am ) that he gave his only son for ME! God loves me. Not only that but he has put me in a family that loves ME. And I have friends who love ME just like I am.... I know I have some work to do on me .. but I love me. And I no longer feel like I don't deserve it.
So glad that you feel better about yourself Pipp. I beat myself up so many times about this. I lost a lot of weight when I was about 20 years old. I was all the sudden a target of a lot of male attention that I wasn't used to. I dated men who didn't have my best interest's at heart and I thought this is what I deserved. I became Bulimic and abused my body. I hated myself. I'm better now and I'm so glad to hear you are too. We all deserve love.
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ww_21
Guest
Thanks for sharing this video with me it made me happy that people can be like this, this is how I would like the world to be, happy, open, free and loving. I love that song as well so I will share my favorite version with you here it is:
[video=youtube;hRTvQWuzKWo]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRTvQWuzKWo[/video]
[video=youtube;hRTvQWuzKWo]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRTvQWuzKWo[/video]