My mother hates me :(

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ChristianGirlLivingLife

Guest
#21
#21
Thank you all for your input. I would like to let you all know that God has changed my heart, and has taught me to love my mother despite her behaviors. So far we have been on pretty good terms. Things are beginning to lighten up for us. Thank you all for your prayers and wisdom. I wish you all have a blessed day and you continue to carry God's love in your hearts.
 
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BeanieD

Guest
#22
#22
If you are both Christian, then maybe the best thing is to Pray about all this and do what you feel in your heart is right. Take a deep breath and Walk away from an argument, and leave it in God's hands. Your success or failure is up to you, and don't let her feelings about life interfere with your goals. Do you have Christian friends? If you do, then a good thing is to get together with them and pray about the situation, lean on them and let them encourage you. God hates quarrels and fighting, so don't go there with her if at all possible, and if it isn't, Pray Pray Pray and let God lead you.

I didn't have a Mother like that but I did have a Husband like that exactly. May God bless you honey and grant you the peace you deserve.
 
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biscuit

Guest
#23
#23
ChristianGirlLivingLife said:
I don't want to get into much detail, but my mother and I completely hate each other. We are both Christians, however, but our relationship is so full of anger and hatred that I don't even want to see her anymore, as she doesn't want to see me either. I can't even have a normal conversation with my mother, and she practically knows nothing about me (like my friends, church friends, my schoolwork, etc.). She never asks nor does she really care about my whereabouts. Whenever I mention something to her, like something that made my day or made me happy, she doesn't connect to it and rather feels indifferent. She doesn't like when I am successful or happy. The only time I hear most of her words is through arguing. She can go on and on for hours yelling at me, telling me things like she can't wait for me to leave and move out, she can't wait to see me unsuccessful and unhappy with a guy who's going to hurt me, etc. And when I cry, she feels no sympathy whatsoever. I don't know what to do. School is stressful and my relationship with her just makes everything seem worse. I need help
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I went through the same with my mother and it just got so bad that I left home and start my new life and .... I LOVE IT !!! Did she show any appreciation for my happiness?? of course not because accused me of being demonic, placing evil spells on her, contributing to her inability to climb out of hell. I tried to reach back and help her as I moved forward but she declined. Later in life I found out that she had several mental illnesses and never did recover. My advice is to get the best possible grades in school; avoid war with your mother and obey her ; pray for her and leave the house at 18 with a job to support yourself or with good christian roommates. Or enroll in college where you will have 4 years to grow spiritually & mentally. It worked wonders for me. If your mother has hidden mental illnesses, there isn't much you can do except try to get her mental help and move on. You should never abandon her.
 
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biscuit

Guest
#24
#24
ChristianGirlLivingLife said:
Thank you all for your input. I would like to let you all know that God has changed my heart, and has taught me to love my mother despite her behaviors. So far we have been on pretty good terms. Things are beginning to lighten up for us. Thank you all for your prayers and wisdom. I wish you all have a blessed day and you continue to carry God's love in your hearts.
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Great news !!
 
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BeanieD

Guest
#25
#25
Awesome hon!!! Never let go of God :)
 
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lillian4jesus

Guest
#26
#26
I have gone through something similar with my mom before. Honestly I looked her dead in the face and said "I am your daughter you carried me for nine long months and look at us we are animals". The room went silent then the next day we had a long conversation about it then it was like it never happened. I am unsure of all the details of your situation but you are in my prayers for a better future!
 
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shei

Guest
#27
#27
Did you grew u with her? Coz it sounds to me like an individual differences that why you cant understand each other and you think she hates you and vice versa.

Try to study her love language and work with it.

Example:

Words of affirmation
Quality time
Acts of service
Giving gifts
Physical touch
 
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ChristianGirlLivingLife

Guest
#28
#28
shei said:
Did you grew u with her? Coz it sounds to me like an individual differences that why you cant understand each other and you think she hates you and vice versa.

Try to study her love language and work with it.

Example:

Words of affirmation
Quality time
Acts of service
Giving gifts
Physical touch
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Yes she practically raised me. I think that it's just a phase between us. Me being a teenager focusing more on school and stuff rather than the family sometimes gets her flustered, so her annoyance towards me isn't all her fault. I have to take some sort of blame for it too.
 
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Gail421

Guest
#29
#29
Being a teen is confusing and difficult even with loving parents. You are being challenged early in life and as a mother and a former teenage girl, my heart aches that you are dealing with this. But...I hope it makes you a very strong lady some day. One place you can ALWAYS find help is through a good church. Lean on trustworthy pastors and church support systems to help you fight through this. I will pray for you:

Our Heavenly Father, I pray that this young lady will find You in the confusion and painful times that she may be experiencing. I pray that you provide her with clarity so that she will understand that her mother's issues are not her own. I pray too for her mother, that you will break her heart for what breaks yours and she may soften and heal. We adults know that children should not have to deal with adult issues, but we ask you to protect this teen and guide her.

Good luck honey... I will continue to pray... seek help through Christ and I know you will be ok. :)
Gail
 
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Jhana

Banned
#30
Feb 5, 2014
375
1
0
#30
ChristianGirlLivingLife said:
I don't want to get into much detail, but my mother and I completely hate each other. We are both Christians, however, but our relationship is so full of anger and hatred that I don't even want to see her anymore, as she doesn't want to see me either. I can't even have a normal conversation with my mother, and she practically knows nothing about me (like my friends, church friends, my schoolwork, etc.). She never asks nor does she really care about my whereabouts. Whenever I mention something to her, like something that made my day or made me happy, she doesn't connect to it and rather feels indifferent. She doesn't like when I am successful or happy. The only time I hear most of her words is through arguing. She can go on and on for hours yelling at me, telling me things like she can't wait for me to leave and move out, she can't wait to see me unsuccessful and unhappy with a guy who's going to hurt me, etc. And when I cry, she feels no sympathy whatsoever. I don't know what to do. School is stressful and my relationship with her just makes everything seem worse. I need help
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I have such an empathy for you. I lived in a home for years where I had this kind of treatment. My mother and my father can both be abusive people. I found myself so short on confidence that when I went to school I was outcast. I felt imprisoned. When I came home I felt imprisoned and treated fairly harshly. Where I lived was a violent place and so when I went out I felt unsafe and I stayed in most of the time. I had no safe place and no place where I could feel comfortable in my entire world. Not school, not home, not outside. I had very few friends. I used to take walks deep into the forests near me and just sit by myself by the river, just to get away from people and to let myself be angry or sad or anything that I needed to be. I had so much to deal with, so much more than most kids and I only began to realize what a hard time I had a few years ago and I'm still dealing with it. I used to think it was normal.

My father didn't live with me throughout my whole life but when I went to see him he would drink a lot and become quite abusive too. I know how it feels to have nowhere to turn.

Please don't blame yourself, and please, whatever you do, don't underplay this or think that it's normal. It isn't. It's not fair. You are a young woman who has been brought into this world and you've done nothing that means you deserve such treatment.

Please find somewhere to turn. Some place, whether religious or not, where you feel comfortable. If there is anyone in the world that makes you feel safe and special, an aunt, a family friend, anybody, please tell them what is going on. Find a place where you can be comfortable and feel valued.

Like I did, you would probably feel very guilty leaving your mother, but your relationship is doing both of you harm and your mother must surely see this. Please make a change and try to find peace of mind. I don't want you to go through what I did.
 
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blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#31
Feb 21, 2014
70,934
9,676
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#31
Christiangirl, I have always had a hard relationship with my mother. You mention that you are both Christians but it seems like there is alot of hurt and anger and resentment going on there. As Christians, and even as people, you have the capacity to apologize to and forgive each other. I'm sure its tough being a parent, and God knows its even harder being a kid, no matter what age you are! :) You and your mother should sit down and talk in a civil manner and forgive each other. Just remember, she probably is also having tough times that you may not know about. The best thing to do is pray about it and ask God to forgive you both, and forgive each other. I hope this helps. :)
 
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Summer21

Guest
#32
#32
"Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before JEALOUSY," Proverbs 27:4. I grew up with the same kind of "mother" madness. Your mother is absolutely under the control of the evil one whether she knows it or not. "They will know you are mine BY YOUR LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER," the LORD clearly states.

You are 17 and one the cusp of your own life and identity and the evil one is foaming at the mouth to lose control over her and you (through her) as you will soon be a legal entity in the eyes of the law and of society. I would bet things have gotten worse in the past couple of years because again the loss of control as you become your own woman and person.

JEALOUSY has been the main event surrounding my life. I understand it all now because I DO HAVE A SWEET, KIND HEART FOR OTHERS AND ALWAYS HAVE.
 
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Summer21

Guest
#33
#33
Sorry, accidentally "sent".

I naively, for decades, thought others would like me for my loving heart when HONESTLY it has enraged the evil one in them over and over and over.

Can't count how many have tried to mistake my kindness for their opportunity to EXPLOIT it and altogether hate on it.

WHO HATES KINDNESS AND LOVE FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, I repeated to myself over and over again until I realized the TRUTH of who truly controls MOST people.

"For we know that we are children of God, and that the WHOLE WORLD is under the control of the evil one," 1 John 5:19.

You have to let the LORD be your MOTHER and pray and release her over to GOD who is the only one that can save her from the hate the the evil one is using to blind and control her.

You may never get her back. The one I was born from has been entrenched in hell for decades now.

Peace be to your heart, mind and soul by the POWER OF THE BLOOD OF THE LORD JESUS CHRIST WHO GAVE HIMSELF TO SAVE US AND LIVE WITH HIM IN A PERFECT ETERNITY WHERE LOVE RULES FOREVER AND EVER, AMEN
 
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Summer21

Guest
#34
#34
Once again, I just now read that things were turning around for you two. THAT'S AWESOME!

I pray it continues but that you also become more aware of how the defeated worm, worms in through hate and other out-of-control emotions.

It would be great for the two of you to study some of these scriptures, I quoted, together. At least she believes the name of Jesus. The one I was born from never did.

Remember Jesus says, "He who does the WILL of my Father in heaven is my MOTHER, BROTHER, SISTER" I believe from the Gospel of John.

Best Wishes and Blessings to You Dear one in Jesus' Name, AMEN
 
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