Confession.... I used to feel like I was undeserving of love because I'm overweight. Not that I ever looked down on other overweight people ..just myself. I felt like it's my own fault because it's something you can 'fix' and that I would never be selfish enough to expect anyone to have to settle with me. Thankfully a lot of very good friends and the good Lord opening my eyes I now realize that God loved me so much (just as I am ) that he gave his only son for ME! God loves me. Not only that but he has put me in a family that loves ME. And I have friends who love ME just like I am.... I know I have some work to do on me .. but I love me. And I no longer feel like I don't deserve it.
dear sister pipp.
i am glad to hear sister how god worked on you and pulled you out of the deep dark hole that our enemy desires us to remain in.
here is a beautiful song sister... it fits to us all...
[video=youtube;UVX9i_yaQ0Y]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVX9i_yaQ0Y[/video]
here is a confession to everyone here and to you sister pipp as well since you shared with us all as well.
i use to be a really horrible... ignorant... arrogant... self involved person... yet i had no self esteem and was always ridiculed for always being different.
i never could fit in and i searched endlessly to just fit in...
i was an avid fitness trainer... and in that world sister... no matter how fit you are... we are brainwashed that we are still imperfect according to what we believe to be a true and perfect physique... and worst of all sister... THAT PHYSIQUE IS UNATTAINABLE.
my physique became my idol... and as i stated before... when i fell 40 feet to a concrete floor sister.
MY WHOLE LIFE CHANGED.
the struggles i faced knowing what i was capable of before my fall... my views changed... my so called perfect physique changed... people around me left... i became alone once again... had only my family... so i thought... and now... i was in a deeper hole and saw no light.
i became numb... wishing only death.
i was told i was never gonna be able to lift more than 5 pounds and never walk without assistance.
i was only 30 years old... to me my life was over... then a miracle happened... my first daughter was born.
she was so beautiful and she was my little angel... my ray of sunshine... i saw i must not give up.
just as my second daughter was to me as well... god is so amazing.
i tell her and her sister... that... they both are so much stronger than me in every way... for they... were both used by god to change this wretched man.
while god was changing me... my ex wife... even before the fall... was very intimate with my so called friends.
so needless to say... i had no more self esteem and i became to myself that monster everyone thought i was... and i started hiding myself... behind hats worn very low... bandanas worn low... i become deaf and blind to the world... i didn't talk to anyone nor did i look at anyone.
it was just me and my two daughters.
and now sister... 8 years later... i am overweight some what... but i still have my old body physique size... and god is my all my everything... and without him... i am nothing.
i can walk without assistance and i can lift beyond what the doctors stated... god healed all of me... ( physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually )... everything changed.
i no longer see outer beauty... but an inner godly beauty.
i still struggle a little with myself... but the walls are a tumbling down.
now i wish for my family i have always dreamed of.
my wife... our children ( i like big families )... our home on a huge ranch.
my little piece of a heavenly paradise here on earth.
much love and god bless you sister pipp... always.
and god bless you all as well... always.