Waiting Till Marriage, Confess on 1st or 2nd Date...or 3rd?

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Waiting Till Marriage Confession

  • Total voters
    9
  • Poll closed .
A

Animus

Guest
#41
#41
If you don't know whether or not a person is a Christian then you don't know them well enough to merit a date.
If the person isn't a Christian then why bother dating them?
If the person is a Christian then there should be no need to talk about it.
 
J

jeremyPJ

Guest
#42
#42
I agree, and I believe it best that he not mention his virginity until the consummation of the marriage. Not only will it save humiliation from the unfairness of the world, but a nice surprise for her, and besides which it is his choice, and a very honorable one at that. Most importantly, it is no one's business as to his sexual values. And I'm sure the Lord will hold him in good standing.
 
Misty77

Misty77

Senior Member
#43
Aug 30, 2013
1,746
45
0
#43
I think you should mention it when it comes up conversationally. It would be pretty awkward to lay out all your sexual boundaries with someone who wasn't ever planning to pursue you like that. And you don't want the girl to think you are more interested in her hymen than in her heart. If it starts progressing that way, then you bring it up. For example, when invited back to her place, graciously thank her for the invitation, by let her know that you have made other choices in your dating life. Don't get all snuggled up within kissing distance if you don't wish to engage in that activity. Of course, if she's lamenting the lack of good virgins out there, then you can heartily agree.

Personal information like health or virginal status doesn't need to be shared with most people. I do, however, believe in full disclosure in all areas before marriage. In the sexual realm, that means number of previous partners, current STI screening, any related medical problems, and what a healthy sex life looks like to you. I would avoid unnecessary details of previous encounters because that's never helpful. Just be kind and appropriately honest.
 
Misty77

Misty77

Senior Member
#44
Aug 30, 2013
1,746
45
0
#44
jeremyPJ said:
I agree, and I believe it best that he not mention his virginity until the consummation of the marriage. Not only will it save humiliation from the unfairness of the world, but a nice surprise for her, and besides which it is his choice, and a very honorable one at that. Most importantly, it is no one's business as to his sexual values. And I'm sure the Lord will hold him in good standing.
Click to expand...
It's a very bad idea to keep secrets from significant others. No wants to be thrown new information on their wedding night.
["Surprise! I'm a hermaphrodite." Or "Surprise! I really am/am not on birth control!"
 
K

kthespis

Guest
#45
#45
G4JC said:
Or ... that awkward moment when you both watch Courageous together and get to this scene:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w__jZbXYwCg
Then ya just start chatting about how amazing purity is in the show and........

Yeah, I've never done it, but just a thought! Waiting until marriage is definitely and great thing. :D
Click to expand...
Thank you for sharing this beautiful scene from Courageous! And thank you for putting this movie on my map. This is a very inspiring scene and one I would like to share with my own daughter one day, treasuring purity and the intimate bond between a father and a daughter. Wow! Thanks :)
 
K

kthespis

Guest
#46
#46
Animus said:
If you don't know whether or not a person is a Christian then you don't know them well enough to merit a date.
If the person isn't a Christian then why bother dating them?
If the person is a Christian then there should be no need to talk about it.
Click to expand...
Thank you for your advice, Animus. I disagree with not broaching the conversation of sex just because they are a Christian. I've been in the church way too long to be under the assumption all Christians are on the level. Sadly, some are Christians by name and not action. I believe no stone should be left unturned conversationally; rather a matter of when. Two people can honestly be going in different directions. However, thank you for a fresh perspective.
 
K

kthespis

Guest
#47
#47
jeremyPJ said:
I agree, and I believe it best that he not mention his virginity until the consummation of the marriage. Not only will it save humiliation from the unfairness of the world, but a nice surprise for her, and besides which it is his choice, and a very honorable one at that. Most importantly, it is no one's business as to his sexual values. And I'm sure the Lord will hold him in good standing.
Click to expand...
Thank you, JeremyPJ. I am a little surprised that you would recommend keeping secrets in a relationship, especially right up until wedding night. Some people consider that trapping the other person. I wouldn't want anyone to keep a secret till wedding night. I believe in discussing all things. I am not afraid of the unfairness of the world. I am also looking for a woman with the same views on sex and honor as I do. This is quite unshakable. What I am facing in dating is when to broach teh conversation. Many wonderful comments have helped me get into the mind of the woman. So, it's not a matter of not telling her, but when to tell her. Then I can understand her views on sex as well. We all have values we want to honor in a relationship. Mine are no different. Thank you again!
 
K

kthespis

Guest
#48
#48
Misty77 said:
I think you should mention it when it comes up conversationally. It would be pretty awkward to lay out all your sexual boundaries with someone who wasn't ever planning to pursue you like that. And you don't want the girl to think you are more interested in her hymen than in her heart. If it starts progressing that way, then you bring it up. For example, when invited back to her place, graciously thank her for the invitation, by let her know that you have made other choices in your dating life. Don't get all snuggled up within kissing distance if you don't wish to engage in that activity. Of course, if she's lamenting the lack of good virgins out there, then you can heartily agree.

Personal information like health or virginal status doesn't need to be shared with most people. I do, however, believe in full disclosure in all areas before marriage. In the sexual realm, that means number of previous partners, current STI screening, any related medical problems, and what a healthy sex life looks like to you. I would avoid unnecessary details of previous encounters because that's never helpful. Just be kind and appropriately honest.
Click to expand...
Thank you, Misty77! This is wonderful advice and I have taken some notes. I do agree the topic of sex can up come up conversationally and not forced. I also don't want the girl to think that I am more interested in her hymen than her heart. This is an important value to me and I also believe in full disclosure, but as you have recommended with kindness. Thank you for taking the time out to help me out :)
 
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