Taming your Tongue

[TashMeyer76]

The unfortunate event earlier in the Lounge had upset me to the point of tears, in such a way that I had to leave the room, and the person who offended me was room hopping and I hopped right out the moment he entered the same room as I. Whether he wanted to apologize or not, I was not ready for any interaction with him.

What he fails to understand is that his words, are like sword thrusts to the heart, and those stabs cause emotional trauma in women like me, who've had the unfortunate event of being sexually abused as a child, who grew up thinking that it was the way it was supposed to be, its called "Co'Dependency". For years and years, I subjected myself to relationships because of that. And coming into a room on CC where a have had to endure a single person state blatantly how he WILL enter into a non-committing relationship with any woman to see how far he can push her emotional boundaries, was the last straw.

Regardless of my outcry, and my experiences in life, I want to cry out to everyone here on CC, and I mean everyone - PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE - Guard your hearts, and tame your tongues. You do not know the next person who enters a room, a broken person who comes to seek God's mercy, and your callous words can make or break that person, or any work that's started in such a soul's life.

The questions I want to leave you with, are you willing to take the chance to push a soul over the edge due to your Opinions or callous natures, are you willing to take responsibility for your actions when you so coldly blast things into the open without consideration on how this could adversely affect those around you?

Proverbs 12:18

There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
​

Remember your words next time and then remember this:

Mark 9:42

“Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him if a great millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea.​

 

[faroukfarouk]

James is a great Epistle which talks about the tongue and related matters.

Blessings.

 

[JoyfulFleur]

Sorry to hear that!

I like what Proverbs 18:21 says, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue." Words are more powerful than we can even begin to imagine. Even saying something like "I don't like you" has a big impact someone's life. Words have the ability to destroy and build people up. So watching what way say is always important. Sometimes we are not even aware that our words can hurt someone

 

[Ariel82]

I've found that people deal with pain and hurt differently. some become callous and mean spirited and bitter. they think making others miserable will somehow make their own lives "better" in comparison.

Most often those who get joy out of causing others pain, never knew what true love really is. they don't know the Love of God. They don't know what it means to forgive others the pain they may have caused them.

Sometimes the only way to reach those type of people is to allow God to heal you enough so that you can one day reach out your hands and say "even though you ridicule and abuse me, I forgive you. I will pray that you will repent of your evil ways and turn to God for He loves you and will forgive you. Then you will truly know what joy, love and peace really means."

Or something to that nature.

God wants us to draw boundaries. To recognize what He has ordained as RIGHT and WRONG. How we are suppose to love and treat each other. we have to hold each other accountable, but we also have to forgive not only others but ourselves as well.

not sure if that makes any sense, but I guess what I'm trying to say is: perhaps the other person needs a comin' to Jesus talk?

 

[biscuit]

The unfortunate event earlier in the Lounge had upset me to the point of tears, in such a way that I had to leave the room, and the person who offended me was room hopping and I hopped right out the moment he entered the same room as I. Whether he wanted to apologize or not, I was not ready for any interaction with him.

What he fails to understand is that his words, are like sword thrusts to the heart, and those stabs cause emotional trauma in women like me, who've had the unfortunate event of being sexually abused as a child, who grew up thinking that it was the way it was supposed to be, its called "Co'Dependency". For years and years, I subjected myself to relationships because of that. And coming into a room on CC where a have had to endure a single person state blatantly how he WILL enter into a non-committing relationship with any woman to see how far he can push her emotional boundaries, was the last straw.

Regardless of my outcry, and my experiences in life, I want to cry out to everyone here on CC, and I mean everyone - PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE - Guard your hearts, and tame your tongues. You do not know the next person who enters a room, a broken person who comes to seek God's mercy, and your callous words can make or break that person, or any work that's started in such a soul's life.

The questions I want to leave you with, are you willing to take the chance to push a soul over the edge due to your Opinions or callous natures, are you willing to take responsibility for your actions when you so coldly blast things into the open without consideration on how this could adversely affect those around you?

Proverbs 12:18

There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
​

Remember your words next time and then remember this:

Mark 9:42

“Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him if a great millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea.​

You need to know that many so-called Christians wear the title on their sleeves and not in their hearts.

 

[biscuit]

[h=1]What does the Bible say about hypocrisy?[/h][HR][/HR][TABLE="align: center"]
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Question: "What does the Bible say about hypocrisy?"

Answer: In essence, “hypocrisy” refers to the act of claiming to believe something but acting in a different manner. The word is derived from the Greek term for “actor”—literally, “one who wears a mask”—in other words, someone who pretends to be what he is not.

The Bible calls hypocrisy a sin. There are two forms hypocrisy can take: that of professing belief in something and then acting in a manner contrary to that belief, and that of looking down on others when we ourselves are flawed.

The prophet Isaiah condemned the hypocrisy of his day: “The Lord says, ‘These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is made up only of rules taught by men’” (Isaiah 26:13). Centuries later, Jesus quoted this verse, aiming the same condemnation at the religious leaders of His day (Matthew 15:8-9). John the Baptist refused to give hypocrites a pass, telling them to produce “fruits worthy of repentance” (Luke 3:8). Jesus took an equally staunch stand against sanctimony—He called hypocrites “wolves in sheep’s clothing” (Matthew 7:15), “whitewashed tombs” (Matthew 23:27), “snakes,” and “brood of vipers” (Matthew 27:33).

We cannot say we love God if we do not love our brothers (1 John 2:9). Love must be “without hypocrisy” (Romans 12:9, NKJV). A hypocrite may look righteous on the outside, but it is a façade. True righteousness comes from the inner transformation of the Holy Spirit not an external conformity to a set of rules (Matthew 23:5; 2 Corinthians 3:8).

Jesus addressed the other form of hypocrisy in the Sermon on the Mount: “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye” (Matthew 7:3-5). Jesus is not teaching against discernment or helping others overcome sin; instead, He is telling us not be so prideful and convinced of our own goodness that we criticize others from a position of self-righteousness. We should do some introspection first and correct our own shortcomings before we go after the “specks” in others (cf. Romans 2:1).

During Jesus’ earthly ministry, He had many run-ins with the religious leaders of the day, the Pharisees. These men were well versed in the Scriptures and zealous about following every letter of the Law (Acts 26:5). However, in adhering to the letter of the Law, they actively sought loopholes that allowed them to violate the spirit of the Law. Also, they displayed a lack of compassion toward their fellow man and were often overly demonstrative of their so-called spirituality in order to garner praise (Matthew 23:5–7; Luke 18:11). Jesus denounced their behavior in no uncertain terms, pointing out that “justice, mercy, and faithfulness” are more important than pursuing a perfection based on faulty standards (Matthew 23:23). Jesus made it clear that the problem was not with the Law but the way in which the Pharisees implemented it (Matthew 23:2-3). Today, the word pharisee has become synonymous with hypocrite.

It must be noted that hypocrisy is not the same as taking a stand against sin. For example, it is not hypocrisy to teach that drunkenness is a sin, unless the one teaching against drunkenness gets drunk every weekend—that would be hypocrisy.

As children of God, we are called to strive for holiness (1 Peter 1:16). We are to “hate what is evil” and “cling to what is good” (Romans 12:9). We should never imply an acceptance of sin, especially in our own lives. All we do should be consistent with what we believe and who we are in Christ. Play-acting is meant for the stage, not for real life.

Recommended Resources: The Choice: Hypocrisy or Real Christianity? by Chuck & Nancy Missler and Logos Bible Software​

 

[AgnusDei]

The unfortunate event earlier in the Lounge had upset me to the point of tears, in such a way that I had to leave the room, and the person who offended me was room hopping and I hopped right out the moment he entered the same room as I. Whether he wanted to apologize or not, I was not ready for any interaction with him.

What he fails to understand is that his words, are like sword thrusts to the heart, and those stabs cause emotional trauma in women like me, who've had the unfortunate event of being sexually abused as a child, who grew up thinking that it was the way it was supposed to be, its called "Co'Dependency". For years and years, I subjected myself to relationships because of that. And coming into a room on CC where a have had to endure a single person state blatantly how he WILL enter into a non-committing relationship with any woman to see how far he can push her emotional boundaries, was the last straw.

Regardless of my outcry, and my experiences in life, I want to cry out to everyone here on CC, and I mean everyone - PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE - Guard your hearts, and tame your tongues. You do not know the next person who enters a room, a broken person who comes to seek God's mercy, and your callous words can make or break that person, or any work that's started in such a soul's life.

The questions I want to leave you with, are you willing to take the chance to push a soul over the edge due to your Opinions or callous natures, are you willing to take responsibility for your actions when you so coldly blast things into the open without consideration on how this could adversely affect those around you?

Proverbs 12:18

There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
​

Remember your words next time and then remember this:

Mark 9:42

“Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him if a great millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea.​

Tash Meyer 76....I understand you perfectly

Someone got offended too in CC one week after I first entered the site. I decided not to log in into CC no more but I also realized I was losing joy because of that event.

To be honest with you, some people may not share the same joy you have. In my case, that is a reality.

When I chat, I try to be friendly to the person even if I do not receive an answer.

Taming the tongue is important. You are right about that.

It helps if you chat with people that lift you up...once you find them...do not let them go.

Do not waste your time chatting with fools that think they know it all. To me, it is boring to hear people talking about themselves and blah, blah, blah.....

 

[TashMeyer76]

Thank you to all for the feedback.

@AgnusDei it is right as you say, keep those who lift you up instead of breaking you down close and don't let them go, thankfully I have so many friends here on CC who never fail to uplift others, even when their own worlds seem to crumble into disarray around them.

@Biscuit - the sleeve thing, I agree on too. A week ago, when a new lady entered CC, her membership joining date gave it away, asked if we are all Christians, and this same person jokingly piped up and said "No, some of us are children of the devil" There again, callous, I had to PM her to tell her he's only kidding.

@Ariel - Yes a Jesus Talk would probably be advisable, however experience with this individual showed me that he's so blinded by his own hurt (I assume he was very hurt in life) that he deems it necessary or democratically right for him to voice his opinion on anything regardless of who he hurts in the process.

However - granted my own hurt, and my own anger at the time of this incident I too may have been very, perhaps too sensitive, and although I still stand firmly in my opinion, I feel, in this situation, it is only prayer that would prevail.

 

[John_agape]

Hi Tash. I too am sorry to hear how you got hurt. On a forum like this there sincere Christians, people who are searching, those who are curious, but also those who want to provoke.

I don't know who that person who hurt you is, but one thing I can say with confidence is that no true Christian can make such a remark. In the context of this forum he sounds like a provoking troll.

I do not think you were too sensitive. That remark was out of line, even in a secular non-Christian context. Any man who behaves like that, or even says he behaves like that is a slimy creep, lower than a snail slimes shadow.

If he reads this remark and feel offended, I am ready to discuss my opinion with him anytime.

That person has a deep problem in his soul and is in denial. You had your soul wounded, but you are aware of it and you are healing. He is not.

When I have been hurt I think of Jesus when he hung on the cross, He said, "Father forgive them for they know not what they do." And then as Paul wrote in Romans 12:19 "Avenge not yourselves, beloved, but give place unto the wrath of God: for it is written, Vengeance belongs to me; I will recompense, says the Lord.

This person obviously does not comprehend what he is doing, nor does he understand God.

I will pray for your peace.

 

[John_agape]

By the way, I am taming my tongue. That was a polite description of my opinion.

 

[TashMeyer76]

A fellow countryman, what a blessing. Yes, well I realized it is not in anger nor in my own understanding but in trusting God, that I would be able to manage these 'altercations' according to his character. God bless this person, and I know God will reveal himself to him, in all His Glory.

By the way, I am taming my tongue. That was a polite description of my opinion.

 

[sc81]

You need to know that many so-called Christians wear the title on their sleeves and not in their hearts.

so a person unintentionally offending someone with a comment is now not a christian?

 

[John_agape]

sc81, That was not just "any comment" that that individual gave. If you cannot see that, then be thankful that you live in a sheltered world surrounded by good Christians.

That type of remark is not given unintentionally. The intention was to offend, provoke and hurt.

 

[sc81]

sc81, That was not just "any comment" that that individual gave. If you cannot see that, then be thankful that you live in a sheltered world surrounded by good Christians.

That type of remark is not given unintentionally. The intention was to offend, provoke and hurt.

ok well I don't know the story but there's a difference between if he specifically made a comment to her knowing her history or if he was just generally making a comment in a public chat channel talking to other people and the op just happened to be in there.

 

[Kefa54]

Father I pray for a very touchy situation here.
I pray for your peace. That it will overcome both persons in this situation.
I lift up both the victim and the person that made the poor comments.
We are just human doing the best with what we have. Forgive us for not knowing how or comments
can effect other people. Please forgive us our trespasses as we forgive others.
In Jesus Name.

 

[John_agape]

We Christians are not to be judgmental, but we are to judge as in being discerning. When Jesus said, "Judge not, that ye be not judged." He was directing his words at hypocrites.

A few verses further on Jesus said, "Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. Ye shall know them by their fruits." And then Jesus repeats this phrase a few verses further on, "Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them."

Jesus also says in the same context, "Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that does the will of my Father which is in heaven."

Throughout the Bible we are warned to be discerning and to judge.

When someone comes to us and says, "I am a Christian," we should accept this person as a fellow Christian.

Every Christian, no matter how sincere can fall. Our response should then be, in love, to help and support that brother or sister in Christ.

However there are attitudes and behaviours that a Christian cannot possibly have or do. Even decent atheists would agree that such behaviour is inappropriate and unchristian.

When that happens we should not try and excuse that attitude or behaviour. That person will laugh and mock us, and use the excuse to justify their behaviour.

There is inappropriate behaviour, even in public chat forums. The comment referred to was not just generally making a comment in a public chat channel. This was meant to provoke because it was so abusively inappropriate.

We cannot defend someone who is being intentionally abusive and wanting to provoke.

This man might still become a wonderful Christian. That is my prayer. But he is not a Christian yet with this behaviour (fruit).

If we excuse his abusive behaviour, he will think he was funny, and he has no motivation to realize his abusive sinful attitude, regret his bad behaviour, repent and turn to God for guidance and salvation.

 

[sc81]

.

This man might still become a wonderful Christian. That is my prayer. But he is not a Christian yet with this behaviour (fruit).

If we excuse his abusive behaviour, he will think he was funny, and he has no motivation to realize his abusive sinful attitude, regret his bad behaviour, repent and turn to God for guidance and salvation.

no you are wrong, claiming this man is not a christian by one statement is extremely judgmental, you are not God

 

[Saint_Cecilia]

What the Book of James has to say about the tongue:

"For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God."

- James 3:7-9

 

[TashMeyer76]

I don't think that's what Biscuit meant, doing something Unintentionally is one thing, however doing it intentionally and going out of your way to harm and provoke... I think that's not quite in God's character....

so a person unintentionally offending someone with a comment is now not a christian?

 

[Saint_Cecilia]

"They speak vanity every one with his neighbour: with flattering lips and with a double heart do they speak. The Lord shall cut off all flattering lips, and the tongue that speaketh proud things."

- Psalm 12:2-3

✝