How did you meet your husband/wfie?

[jamie26301]

I feel like taking a break from serious, theological discussion with people who don't debate honestly, to pose this question, in effort to make myself smile and feel warm from your responses. <3

How did you meet your spouse? If you're still dating or engaged, I'd like to hear your story too. If it's your second marriage or something like that, your story is also welcome. Or maybe you remember someone you've been in a relationship with fondly even though it ended - you can share that too if you like.

In other words, make me go "Awwwwww!"



(I realize some of you may not be happily married, and thus don't feel very warm about your spouse in that your meeting him/her doesn't make you feel good, so if you want to share a fond story of a flame from your past, I would certainly like to hear it. )

 

[faroukfarouk]

I feel like taking a break from serious, theological discussion with people who don't debate honestly, to pose this question, in effort to make myself smile and feel warm from your responses. <3

How did you meet your spouse? If you're still dating or engaged, I'd like to hear your story too. If it's your second marriage or something like that, your story is also welcome. Or maybe you remember someone you've been in a relationship with fondly even though it ended - you can share that too if you like.

In other words, make me go "Awwwwww!"



(I realize some of you may not be happily married, and thus don't feel very warm about your spouse in that your meeting him/her doesn't make you feel good, so if you want to share a fond story of a flame from your past, I would certainly like to hear it. )

I suppose you are asserting the point here that your posts on other threads about marriage and relationships have been clearly Biblical?

Anyway, my wife and I by God's grace are immensely blessed. We met at some Christian meetings....many years ago now.

 

[jamie26301]

I suppose you are asserting the point here that your posts on other threads about marriage and relationships have been clearly Biblical?

No, I'm not. When most Christians say "Biblical" they mean taking advice from a book that is infallible and sole authority - I don't approach it that way. So no, in that context, my viewpoints are not biblical. Please don't hijack this thread. That is not what it is about.

Anyway, my wife and I by God's grace are immensely blessed. We met at some Christian meetings....many years ago now.

Well that's nice. How long have you two been married? What kind of Christian meetings were they?

 

[Toska]

Hubby and I worked together and played softball for our company's co-ed softball team. We became friends first and then started dating. We dated for over 3 years before we got married and just celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary last weekend

What about you? Married or in a relationship? I want to hear your story, too.

 

[jamie26301]

Well, you asked for it! Sorry such a long post!

Hubby and I worked together and played softball for our company's co-ed softball team. We became friends first and then started dating. We dated for over 3 years before we got married and just celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary last weekend

Wow, so a couple of athletes, huh? That's wonderful that you two share that interest. Do you two still engage in exercise? (Not a question of criticism, just wondering.)

You say "weekend." David and I wed on the weekend: Saturday, the first day of winter.

Do you have any children? Are you both pretty close to each other in doctrine?

David (my husband) and I were friends starting off too. We met on Facebook. And about a year before that, I had friended an atheist (Jeremy). The thing is, that most Christians would've unfriended Jeremy for the anti-Christian things that he posts sometimes. But it didn't bother me much, because I'm open-minded and I let it roll off my back. If I HAD unfriended him, I wouldn't have met my husband. <3 David had responded in rebuttal to one of my comments under Jeremy's status, and I thought "You know, maybe I could learn something from this guy. He sounds interesting and willing to discuss things civilly." I had no intention of romantic interest, and he was engaged at the time anyway.

We talked briefly on and off for a few months, and one night he informed me that his fiancee left him (he had no feelings for me at the time, our online chats had nothing to do with the situation). After that, he and I started talking a lot more, and started showing interest in each other. More is in the excerpts below.

You know, the interesting thing is that his parents had a similar experience in getting together that we had. His father was engaged when he met his wife, and it didn't work out and he took to David's mom. Another similarity is that his parents' wedding and our wedding were very minimal and not the ideal that most girls dream of for having a wedding. Our wedding was nice, but the budget we spent was about $2,000. We had a little help, with the bridal party supplying their own dresses/tuxes, and his mom decorating. We got married in his mother's house, and not the ideal of a beautiful church. His parents: They got married in a courthouse, his father wearing work clothes and his mom wearing a less-than-formal dress; she was pregnant with David (their first child). Neither his parents or us took a honeymoon. His parents were each other's first spouse, married young, and were faithful to each other and were happy together until his father passed away in 2011 of cancer. We are each others' first spouse too. Another similarity is that his parents got married after five months; we got married after about nine months. Short engagements. So, if his parents' experiences with successful marriage and getting married is a model for us, we're on the right track. ^_^ Of course, these things aren't the determining factors of whether we make it or not - it would be the work we put into it, honesty, trust, communication, and all those things.

You know what David told me during one of his first visits to see me? He said he usually doesn't add people to Facebook he doesn't know personally - in adding me it was something completely out of character and habit. He just impulsively accepted my friend request. That kind of speaks to the whole thing being meant to be, as well, you know?

One weekend it snowed in his town - in MAY! And for his ice business, that means that he can get away to see me. He wrote me in a letter "It makes me think, 'Is Someone trying to nudge me in Jamie's direction?'" And my pastor - the ONLY pastor he has ever met that he felt confortable listening to preach and in talking to him, talked about that very topic in his sermon, I believe that very Sunday (or the one before or after). The topic of God trying to communicate to us through unusual events.

What about you? Married or in a relationship? I want to hear your story, too.

Here is some additional details on our story, taken from the Catfishing thread. A few of the details may not make sense because of the context of the thread in which the story was told... I just don't want to type it all out! lol

I met my husband on Facebook. And I probably opened up to him too quick, and he was the one who asked me after we'd been talking a while "Hey look, I got a business trip to go on to SC this weekend, and I was thinking about swinging up to WV to meet you. Do you want to do that?" My husband however, used correct grammar and spelling, even punctuation, which even I'm too lazy often to put a period at the end of my last sentence in instant messages.

We didn't Skype before we met, except in audio. I didn't have a cam at the time, and maybe I should've asked him to video chat with me first, even though he couldn't see me, but I didn't know much about Skype as I rarely used it. He told me he was booking a hotel to have a place to stay while he was in WV - he didn't ask to stay at my place, he just assumed that he may not be welcome. We met in public, and actually, he said later that if I had suggested to meet at my place for the first time, he would've been uncomfortable with that and refused.

I didn't have a car, and went by bus to where we were going to meet. Maybe hopping in the car with him after only talking to him an hour was a mistake that could've cost me dearly - but I was comfortable with him. Maybe it was unwise to hop in the car with him and go 900 miles to spend the summer with him, when he'd only spent three weekends with me. But I did. And I got to see his environment, and everything was as he told me - he co-owned a small business, he lived in his mom's large house, there was Branson Landing that he talked about - it was all true. I took crazy risks (though he's not the first I have), but I lucked out. He proposed to me, just like he said he thought would likely happen.

I met my husband for the first time alone in a public coffeeshop. Like I said, I was lucky. God must've REALLY liked me back then! (One of life's mysteries! ) God watched over me - I was never attacked or anything. I was talking to my husband, back when he was my boyfriend, last summer while I was in MO with him, and I was telling him about all the stupid stuff I used to do. He said "I think you still take risks." I was surprised. In my mind, I had "checked him out" enough, talking to him for hours online everyday and everything, and I said "With what?" And he said "Me." And I said "Yeah, but I knew who you were. I talked long time with you, Skyped with you." And he said "I could've been lying... You're crazy coming all the way out here - most people would've waited like two years to do this with someone... but I'm glad you did [took the risk]."

There's also more to tell, but I'll leave it at that.

 

[Jruiz]

I met my husband when I was drunk at a party...ooops biggest mistake of my life..just kidding, not yet anyway...

 

[jamie26301]

I met my husband when I was drunk at a party...ooops biggest mistake of my life..just kidding, not yet anyway...

Wow, really? It's really cool how God can take our mistakes and messes and turn them into something really special and valuable! "Is there anything too hard for the Lord?" That's great! God bless!

 

[hollydakota]

Hubby and I work at the same company. 24 years ago, the power went out. We were asked to work together organizing engineering books. We were married 3 months later. I've told hubby it was an act of God! Lol.

 

[jamie26301]

Hubby and I work at the same company. 24 years ago, the power went out.

Yup, God has an uncanny way of bringing blessings and great things out of what would ordinarily be a big inconvenience and could result in suffering (darkness could give people a cover to do something they wouldn't ordinarily do) - other words, things people gripe about that a "loving God wouldn't do."

We were asked to work together organizing engineering books. We were married 3 months later. I've told hubby it was an act of God! Lol.

That's great! Any children? Are you two closely related in doctrine (you don't have to answer that question, I'm just curious as to whether some happily married Christians could be worlds apart on key issues - but peacefully disagree with each other)?

 

[breno785au]

I met my wife at church, got to know each well through the home group we attended weekly. How we got together is a long story but about one year later we were married and have a beautiful boy running around

 

[jamie26301]

I met my wife at church, got to know each well through the home group we attended weekly. How we got together is a long story but about one year later we were married and have a beautiful boy running around

Wow, marriage and first baby in the same year! You two wasted no time! (Or was she already pregnant before the wedding? I don't judge at all, just curious.)

What church did you two meet in? How long have you been married?

 

[jamie26301]

DISCLAIMER:

I know I've been inquisitive about people's relationships who have posted. I am just making conversation. If you don't want to answer a question, that is perfectly fine. What you post on the internet you must be comfortable with, and if you don't want to answer a question out of respect for your spouse's privacy or some other reason, that is perfectly alright. In other words, no pressure!

 

[breno785au]

Wow, marriage and first baby in the same year! You two wasted no time! (Or was she already pregnant before the wedding? I don't judge at all, just curious.)

What church did you two meet in? How long have you been married?

Oh gosh no, maybe about 15 months into marriage she fell pregnant, my wording wasnt so good lol and it was definitely Gods timing. We met at a church called Heaven on earth and have been married 3 1/2 years now.

 

[breno785au]

And by God's grace, our first kiss was after we exchanged vows on our wedding day

 

[jamie26301]

I'm not sure who conducted the study(s) that reached the following conclusions, but this is something I learned in my sociology class. I imagine these stats are up to date, being late 2012. These are the five primary types of marriages in the United States, and their approximate percentages. The characteristics are not an exhaustive list, just the key, defining ones of that particular type. If you're comfortable with sharing, what type would you say your marriage is?

1.) Conflict-habituated marriage - 40%
- Most common
- Fight all the time
- Because of:
1. Open society
and 2. Movement towards gender equality
-Two roles
1. Husband - instrumental
2. Wife - expressive
-Richard Faulkner comments: "Husbands should respect their wives if they want their wives to obey them and realize the superiority of women when it comes to family issues."

2.) Devitalized marriage - 25%
- Once passion ruled, now it is gone
- Sociologists Cuber and Haros - "Divorce rate is the breakdown of this passion-base."
- Roaming-eye syndrome - Comes about after about 18 months. Once passion is gone, spouse looks for another mate.

3.) Passive-Congenial marriage - 15%
- Never was passion
- Marriage of convenience
- Usually lasts, because it is financially better for both parties
- Sentiment of this marriage: "Don't let passion stand in the way of reason!"

4.) Vitalized marriage - (a whopping) 10%
- It is ideal
- Couple is advanced in maturity and intelligence
- Know who they are as individuals and lead their own lives
- Respect for one another

5.) Total marriage - (a whopping) 6%
- Can't keep hands off one another
- Public displays of affection
- When one passes, usually within weeks/months the other follows (I suppose that characteristic is what inspired the song "Better Dig Two" ^_^ )

 

[faroukfarouk]

How about aiming for a Biblical marriage?

 

[jamie26301]

And by God's grace, our first kiss was after we exchanged vows on our wedding day

Wow, that's really beautiful, I'm happy you got to experience that. First kiss for both of you?

 

[breno785au]

Wow, that's really beautiful, I'm happy you got to experience that. First kiss for both of you?

No I had a sexually active past before I was born again that I renounced but between us it was first.

 

[CC001]

simply, know what character traits (Rules!) you're looking for .... if you dont know, ask your parents they usually know ....

NOTE: confirm whateverrr they say does not conflict with biblical (Christian) behaviors ....

a. if you're a female, you must be a "8+" min on most guys scale > translation, FINE! .... and have domestic skills !!!
b. if your a male, she passes your scale and have domestic skills > check with your parent(s) for a go .... if they say NO! > dump her quick !!! .... otherwise, lock her down ASAP > avoid fornication ....

P.S. get, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, Love & Respect book, based on Ephesians 5:33 .... keep me posted, smiles ....

 

[jamie26301]

No I had a sexually active past before I was born again that I renounced but between us it was first.

Ah I see. It's still touching. I personally couldn't do it, but I have admiration for anyone who has enough trust in God to hold off on all romantic interaction (of course, that would also include holding hands, in my book - adults don't usually do that unless it's to display romantic interest, in a similar way kissing does) until the wedding day. That takes guts, if you're fortunate enough to find someone with the same sentiments in the first place. God bless brother!