L
I recently found out some things about my past and my mom. I'm having issues coming to terms that I honestly do not know who my mother is anymore. My whole childhood growing up was nothing but lies. Every trip, every move, every story, every guy my mom "ran" off to be with... We're nothing but lies. I can't even see my mom as my "mother" anymore cause she isn't who I thought she was. Granted everything makes sense now, but I'm still trying to process all the horrible things that I went through as a kid. It's like my mom led a double life, but kept dragging me and my older brother with her.. Every where she went.
I don't feel any "love" for my mom anymore, that's how badly burned, and hurt I am by everything that I've learned. How does one move on and still feel that strong passionate emotion for a parent who is very disturbed and crazy?? She has lied to me recently, and I don't know how I will be able to forgive her. I can't trust anything she says anymore, and it breaks my heart to think back on my childhood and remember where and what we did.
I have a very broken heart, and I've noticed at church I am DESPERATELY looking for that "mother figure" to wrap me in her arms and hold me tight and whisper "it will all be ok, I'll protect you".
I don't feel any "love" for my mom anymore, that's how badly burned, and hurt I am by everything that I've learned. How does one move on and still feel that strong passionate emotion for a parent who is very disturbed and crazy?? She has lied to me recently, and I don't know how I will be able to forgive her. I can't trust anything she says anymore, and it breaks my heart to think back on my childhood and remember where and what we did.
I have a very broken heart, and I've noticed at church I am DESPERATELY looking for that "mother figure" to wrap me in her arms and hold me tight and whisper "it will all be ok, I'll protect you".