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I have tried many dating sites. I can Honestly confirm that because someone joins a Christian Dating site it does not actually make them Christian, they are simply throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks.
I really like the logarithm that OkCupid has but there are a couple tricks to it.
1. You have to give every single answer some sort of scale... Important, Really important, Mandatory ... otherwise you will match with everyone cause essentially you've said you just don't care *plus this screams desperate* so make everything at least important.
The other person has to have also scaled stuff as important. ((if you really care about someone, ask... when you were answering your questions, did you score most stuff as N/A or it's just whatever, don't care))
I liked a guy once and I suggested we both completely wipe out our answers and simply date on OKCupid one night where we had to score everything with at the very least important... it was a kinda fun date, we chatted and talked about each question as we went along.
Much to our surprise our 93% match slowly dwindled to a 58% match. Initially, the computer matched us up swimmingly... but it became apparent that if we really weren't a match beyond the initial physical attractions. We maintained a friendship for awhile, but honestly, we were both interested only in finding love... very selfishly *both* of us, so once it became apparent we weren't a match... neither of us had time for the relationship.
2. The next thing is the amount of questions you need to answer before you can actually see if the logarithm is working.... I'm not scientific but I would recommend at the very least 300 questions have been answered before you even approach a person.... sure this leave a bunch of people out but if they are sincerely interested in finding someone, they will use the tools out there... if they are looking for a hookup, why bother answering a bunch of stupid questions.
3. if you see someone you like, before you send that PERSONALIZED note ***cut and paste mass send introductions and replies are pathetically obvious*** (I'll come back to that) before you send that message... look at the person's questions... answer the questions they've answered... see if it changes your match percentage.
4. Cut and Paste Messages follow the same formula and are riddled with poor grammar and spelling mistakes.
It's Hi BEAUTIFUL/HANDSOME usually not your actual screen name but some have gotten clever. Then it's I really liked your profile (but never WHY they liked your profile) Then it's some pre-ordained destiny catch phrase like... I could see myself walking on a beach under a moonlit night with you.. or I'd love to be the person that shares a quite dinner and blah blah blah. Then... it goes on about what they are looking for in a relationship or significant other (Here's where they are Ordering - my perfect significant other is whatever... Um yeah I'd like a significant other that Wears rainbow clown hair and a big red squishy nose and shoes so big driving a go-cart would take some incredible talent.) Finally, here comes the sales Pitch.. I'm the perfect person for you to date because .... I have two eyes, a nose, a mouth, ears, a belly, and also elbows. Whatever the description... it's usually enough to make someone feel mildly impressed or WANT what is written there.
I really think if a person is viewing another person's profile ... there's no need to re-state what you are looking for in a person.. because after browsing the people - you picked one... so wouldn't they be what you are interested in or looking for or am I just way off on that?
5. Google image search any and all photos.
6. Remember ... even here on Christian Chat... Just because someone CLAIMS they are Christian... does not automatically make them a Christian. One of the 10 commandments is thou shall not lie.. but people do it all the time.
I really like the logarithm that OkCupid has but there are a couple tricks to it.
1. You have to give every single answer some sort of scale... Important, Really important, Mandatory ... otherwise you will match with everyone cause essentially you've said you just don't care *plus this screams desperate* so make everything at least important.
The other person has to have also scaled stuff as important. ((if you really care about someone, ask... when you were answering your questions, did you score most stuff as N/A or it's just whatever, don't care))
I liked a guy once and I suggested we both completely wipe out our answers and simply date on OKCupid one night where we had to score everything with at the very least important... it was a kinda fun date, we chatted and talked about each question as we went along.
Much to our surprise our 93% match slowly dwindled to a 58% match. Initially, the computer matched us up swimmingly... but it became apparent that if we really weren't a match beyond the initial physical attractions. We maintained a friendship for awhile, but honestly, we were both interested only in finding love... very selfishly *both* of us, so once it became apparent we weren't a match... neither of us had time for the relationship.
2. The next thing is the amount of questions you need to answer before you can actually see if the logarithm is working.... I'm not scientific but I would recommend at the very least 300 questions have been answered before you even approach a person.... sure this leave a bunch of people out but if they are sincerely interested in finding someone, they will use the tools out there... if they are looking for a hookup, why bother answering a bunch of stupid questions.
3. if you see someone you like, before you send that PERSONALIZED note ***cut and paste mass send introductions and replies are pathetically obvious*** (I'll come back to that) before you send that message... look at the person's questions... answer the questions they've answered... see if it changes your match percentage.
4. Cut and Paste Messages follow the same formula and are riddled with poor grammar and spelling mistakes.
It's Hi BEAUTIFUL/HANDSOME usually not your actual screen name but some have gotten clever. Then it's I really liked your profile (but never WHY they liked your profile) Then it's some pre-ordained destiny catch phrase like... I could see myself walking on a beach under a moonlit night with you.. or I'd love to be the person that shares a quite dinner and blah blah blah. Then... it goes on about what they are looking for in a relationship or significant other (Here's where they are Ordering - my perfect significant other is whatever... Um yeah I'd like a significant other that Wears rainbow clown hair and a big red squishy nose and shoes so big driving a go-cart would take some incredible talent.) Finally, here comes the sales Pitch.. I'm the perfect person for you to date because .... I have two eyes, a nose, a mouth, ears, a belly, and also elbows. Whatever the description... it's usually enough to make someone feel mildly impressed or WANT what is written there.
I really think if a person is viewing another person's profile ... there's no need to re-state what you are looking for in a person.. because after browsing the people - you picked one... so wouldn't they be what you are interested in or looking for or am I just way off on that?
5. Google image search any and all photos.
6. Remember ... even here on Christian Chat... Just because someone CLAIMS they are Christian... does not automatically make them a Christian. One of the 10 commandments is thou shall not lie.. but people do it all the time.
P
I don't think this is the place to meet anyone. Everyone is so worried and with good cause. I got to thinking about this site and people and watching the news. For my sons no problem they can take care of themselves, they are men.
What I tell my sons is go to church, go to different congerations, my sons only have churches of Christ to look. You kids have Faith Only groups 1000's of congerations to visit. You have got to be out going with out being wierd.
I feel bad for young people who can't find anyone. If we could ever control this weight porblem we have in USA. Attraction is # 1 thing, its the first thing people notice about each other. I would say Weight First, Teeth & Looks Second, Height Third, Personality Forth, Spirituality, Job, Car, Bald, Beard, Loss of a Limb, how would u all rate these things? I will start this so no one thinks you are shallow.....LoL They know i Am
What I tell my sons is go to church, go to different congerations, my sons only have churches of Christ to look. You kids have Faith Only groups 1000's of congerations to visit. You have got to be out going with out being wierd.
I feel bad for young people who can't find anyone. If we could ever control this weight porblem we have in USA. Attraction is # 1 thing, its the first thing people notice about each other. I would say Weight First, Teeth & Looks Second, Height Third, Personality Forth, Spirituality, Job, Car, Bald, Beard, Loss of a Limb, how would u all rate these things? I will start this so no one thinks you are shallow.....LoL They know i Am
i really don't have a lot of internet dating experience to draw from, but my brother met his wife on christian mingle.
based upon what i know about MT, i would encourage you to go with whatever site has the most women in your immediate area. in my book, that statistic would trump almost anything else. : )
based upon what i know about MT, i would encourage you to go with whatever site has the most women in your immediate area. in my book, that statistic would trump almost anything else. : )
12 years ago I met my darling wife on Romance Christian Singles on AOL. I would suggest you chat or write for a couple months before giving out personal info. She (future wife) was not comfortable on-line so we started to exchange snail mail and then phone calls. I flew from Florida to Maine to see her after 3 month. A week later we were both back in Florida. I married her 2 months later. She died in February at the age of 59. The whole marriage was a beautiful love story. Pray to God to bring that special woman into your life. Sites like this are valuable resources when one is lonely and alone. Be careful and have fun.
I don't like Christian Mingle because it costs money. You have to be a member to do pretty much anything. I put my AIM username there before (this was about 5 years ago, when AIM was still being used), and they edited my profile to delete that part. I IMed a few people on there who had their AIM included in their profile (I don't know why they got away with it and I didn't) and it didn't go so well. The people I talked to were kind of snobby and acted like they were too good for me. In case you're wondering, yes, I had photographs of myself on that site.
U
Ditto! I recalled back in late 1990s when my friend told me about this so called internet so we went to the library. Oh, it was jammed with so many people!! I checked out a chat room and whoa!! Women wanted me and gave me their contacts so easy! I am the kind who likes fast but here is something I admit, I prefer a woman who plays hard to get or in fishing terms, bitting the bait before I can pull the fish out of the water.
But I had no internet at home and no way to reach this lady I liked.. so that gone.. Then in November 1998, I finally went on the net and oh man! I met 9 women in 1999 locally. All local except for one who was from out of town (She s from Pittsburgh, PA and I live in Syracuse). I met some weird ones. First one was really deep tomboy acting like a muscle red neck type of female. Forget that. lol. I met a female doctor and oh yeah.. good choice but she did not want me. Oh well. Then there was one just right I had to let it go.. she was my insurance company's insurance investigator and she's a pastor's daughter. Just right.. but that conflict of interest.. oh well.. then after year 2000, it dropped fast. Most I chatted at the time were from AOL Christian Chat and thru AOL personals whom I met there also. All locals! Oh well. last one was in 2004 thru AOL Christian Chat and AOL personals. What was wrong was she was on the cell for 40 minutes while I was waiting for her to meet me at the bookstore! I dumped her after that. Then I said forget the net. Why? I had a stalker!! YUP! A friend of mine online introduced me to her and it went down after that.
I went so against online dating.. but believe it can work. But online dating was out when I met my then wife at a SINGLES DANCE. I was thrilled at the time to defeat online dating. I met her ONE month after finally the stalker stopped bothering me. This was 2004. Then I married my wrong one...
After we divorced in 4 years, I went back to the scene and it was already dying. Still is. AOL Christian Chat is dead. AOL and Yahoo personals were sold to Match.com. It was free for me back then and really enjoyed that. So, I said no paying sites!!
So, this is where I am today. Here.
But I had no internet at home and no way to reach this lady I liked.. so that gone.. Then in November 1998, I finally went on the net and oh man! I met 9 women in 1999 locally. All local except for one who was from out of town (She s from Pittsburgh, PA and I live in Syracuse). I met some weird ones. First one was really deep tomboy acting like a muscle red neck type of female. Forget that. lol. I met a female doctor and oh yeah.. good choice but she did not want me. Oh well. Then there was one just right I had to let it go.. she was my insurance company's insurance investigator and she's a pastor's daughter. Just right.. but that conflict of interest.. oh well.. then after year 2000, it dropped fast. Most I chatted at the time were from AOL Christian Chat and thru AOL personals whom I met there also. All locals! Oh well. last one was in 2004 thru AOL Christian Chat and AOL personals. What was wrong was she was on the cell for 40 minutes while I was waiting for her to meet me at the bookstore! I dumped her after that. Then I said forget the net. Why? I had a stalker!! YUP! A friend of mine online introduced me to her and it went down after that.
I went so against online dating.. but believe it can work. But online dating was out when I met my then wife at a SINGLES DANCE. I was thrilled at the time to defeat online dating. I met her ONE month after finally the stalker stopped bothering me. This was 2004. Then I married my wrong one...
After we divorced in 4 years, I went back to the scene and it was already dying. Still is. AOL Christian Chat is dead. AOL and Yahoo personals were sold to Match.com. It was free for me back then and really enjoyed that. So, I said no paying sites!!
So, this is where I am today. Here.
U
I have tried dating sites back before and after my marriage and saw big differences. Most today are paying sites. Back then were great!!
I did not like Christian Mingle because of paying site. So are eharmony, match.com, etc. There was another Christian site I really liked but Christian Cafe bought them out. I did not like that.
ChristianDatingForFree is good but it is cliche however, more members who are Filipinas were after me. No offense Filipinas!! I love you all but I was trying to explain here about CDFF. It seems Filipinas were after me but NO American women!! I do not understand. But also the MUCH older women there liked me at CDFF. Not liking their choices there at all. I also had bad experience with someone who said she loved me back in 2003 in AOL Christian Chat but she was 17 at the time and I told her to come back when she is older.. I was not going to wait for her. I met my then wife and moved on. But in 2010,.. bad experience! She found me and blah blah at me.. so immature!! And she would not give me a chance. She was oh.. But um, secretly told some of my friends in that site that she found out that I am Deaf and does not want to marry a Deaf person. That really hurts. That shows she is not a Christian. Because of all that, CDFF was out. This site is perfect if you want a Filipina to marry to. Not an American.
Christianet is.. pretty dead. It used to be pretty okay to talk in their chat room (java format) and now.. no because of scammers, players, and stalkers there. Many true good Christians left there. Also there is too limited numbers of photos of members there. You also would ended up with Filipina just like CDFF. Similiar.. But I liked CDFF format better.
Christiandate website.. you get more scammers there. not good one there. I had a woman on there once who even checked into my credit score! She was bad. She was not a scammer but a destroyer.. that is a new kind of criminal whom they would be real person, unlike scammer with the grammar and the way she talks. She is real but wanted to know more about me by doing that!!? its None of her business. so please becareful.
I heard people do find people thru Facebook. You can try that.. its free.
This site has most realistic people. No, it is not a dating site however, about 100 couples are met thru this site. I am meeting some nice ladies and getting to know them. I am praying and see where God leads this for me. This is best site by far because I get to meet AMERICAN Christian women AND foreign Christian women. But also I get to meet the brothers in Christ here too. Just warn you though, you will still get to meet scammers here. I caught one and she got the boot. Another one here.. she is real person but had to disassociate from her for good reasons. So, becareful on this site as well as anywhere.
OKCupid is not good. You had to answer questions and you get results sometimes you do NOT want. The more you get into it, the harder you find your mate. I had tried there before and I get scammers there. Maybe one or two true ones. But nothing budding for me there. I had to quit.. long before the controversy about two weeks ago that OKCupid is showing its anti-Christian policy. I put that company on my blacklist.
Match.com.. paid site.. no go.
I tried dating sites for Deaf. They cost money.. None are free.
You could try Passions but Passions have every single ethic group there is. or hobby or background, or anything. I get no results there at all. Not that good.
I had my own dating service called United Christian Singles Network or UCSN for locals to focus on in person, not online. Problem is that no one wants to do it. They want online! I was trying to focus on old fashioned way like I did with my ex wife.
I perhaps may end up marrying one who is not from online. You see, besides my ex wife, I attended a Deaf Christian conference in Florida and I saw this wow!!! This beautiful Deaf Christian woman in 2001. So, I met her at the conference and learned that she lives in Miami, FL. After my adult career training program where I graduated in AutoCAD, I moved down there and it was great till we broke up because she blamed me for not able to find work in Miami during 2002. I moved back in August 2002 after 8 months in Miami. Then, I came home, I was introduced to this CT woman online who became my stalker.
I noticed that in past 15 years that I am more likely successful to have relationship with someone in person than online. No offense ladies.. We just have to work harder having online relationship.
Hey, I even have my website up regarding about my future bride.. my testimony about that. I guess you will have to wait till my autobiography is published to understand everything.
I did not like Christian Mingle because of paying site. So are eharmony, match.com, etc. There was another Christian site I really liked but Christian Cafe bought them out. I did not like that.
ChristianDatingForFree is good but it is cliche however, more members who are Filipinas were after me. No offense Filipinas!! I love you all but I was trying to explain here about CDFF. It seems Filipinas were after me but NO American women!! I do not understand. But also the MUCH older women there liked me at CDFF. Not liking their choices there at all. I also had bad experience with someone who said she loved me back in 2003 in AOL Christian Chat but she was 17 at the time and I told her to come back when she is older.. I was not going to wait for her. I met my then wife and moved on. But in 2010,.. bad experience! She found me and blah blah at me.. so immature!! And she would not give me a chance. She was oh.. But um, secretly told some of my friends in that site that she found out that I am Deaf and does not want to marry a Deaf person. That really hurts. That shows she is not a Christian. Because of all that, CDFF was out. This site is perfect if you want a Filipina to marry to. Not an American.
Christianet is.. pretty dead. It used to be pretty okay to talk in their chat room (java format) and now.. no because of scammers, players, and stalkers there. Many true good Christians left there. Also there is too limited numbers of photos of members there. You also would ended up with Filipina just like CDFF. Similiar.. But I liked CDFF format better.
Christiandate website.. you get more scammers there. not good one there. I had a woman on there once who even checked into my credit score! She was bad. She was not a scammer but a destroyer.. that is a new kind of criminal whom they would be real person, unlike scammer with the grammar and the way she talks. She is real but wanted to know more about me by doing that!!? its None of her business. so please becareful.
I heard people do find people thru Facebook. You can try that.. its free.
This site has most realistic people. No, it is not a dating site however, about 100 couples are met thru this site. I am meeting some nice ladies and getting to know them. I am praying and see where God leads this for me. This is best site by far because I get to meet AMERICAN Christian women AND foreign Christian women. But also I get to meet the brothers in Christ here too. Just warn you though, you will still get to meet scammers here. I caught one and she got the boot. Another one here.. she is real person but had to disassociate from her for good reasons. So, becareful on this site as well as anywhere.
OKCupid is not good. You had to answer questions and you get results sometimes you do NOT want. The more you get into it, the harder you find your mate. I had tried there before and I get scammers there. Maybe one or two true ones. But nothing budding for me there. I had to quit.. long before the controversy about two weeks ago that OKCupid is showing its anti-Christian policy. I put that company on my blacklist.
Match.com.. paid site.. no go.
I tried dating sites for Deaf. They cost money.. None are free.
You could try Passions but Passions have every single ethic group there is. or hobby or background, or anything. I get no results there at all. Not that good.
I had my own dating service called United Christian Singles Network or UCSN for locals to focus on in person, not online. Problem is that no one wants to do it. They want online! I was trying to focus on old fashioned way like I did with my ex wife.
I perhaps may end up marrying one who is not from online. You see, besides my ex wife, I attended a Deaf Christian conference in Florida and I saw this wow!!! This beautiful Deaf Christian woman in 2001. So, I met her at the conference and learned that she lives in Miami, FL. After my adult career training program where I graduated in AutoCAD, I moved down there and it was great till we broke up because she blamed me for not able to find work in Miami during 2002. I moved back in August 2002 after 8 months in Miami. Then, I came home, I was introduced to this CT woman online who became my stalker.
I noticed that in past 15 years that I am more likely successful to have relationship with someone in person than online. No offense ladies.. We just have to work harder having online relationship.
Hey, I even have my website up regarding about my future bride.. my testimony about that. I guess you will have to wait till my autobiography is published to understand everything.
S
I tried it once and instantly regretted paying money for a dating site, for some reason I felt super guilty too and started asking forgiveness. I'd been praying for Gods hand in that area of my life, and then I went and put it in my own hands. Oh ye of little faith, lol :/ Been there, done that and will not do it again.
We all must follow our personal convictions, so it is good for you to avoid on-line sights like this if you feel called to do so. However, there is nothing inherently evil in on-line dating. I don't feel that it shows a lack of trust in God. It's simply an alternate way to meet people, and if you do it right, you are more likely to find equally yoked Christians than if you met someone on the street.
J
I have wondered about this subject a lot. I have not tried any of the modern dating sites as of yet, but keeping it in the back of my mind. After my first D when I was 23 (1988), I tried Matchmaker. I got 6 matches for $550. Quite a bit of $$$ even back then, but I thought why not? So, I proceeded to have every bad experience I could imagine that did not involve a crime (Lol). I'm too tired to go into details, but obviously these people who "set me up" must have been laughing after I left...very unreasonable matches, the ones I actually met anyway. Two stood me up, I stood one up after I realized what part of the city I was in, and the others truly were not my type at all, and they had to know it. I felt truly insulted.
I do know of a local lady who met someone on ChristianMingle, and he turned out over time to be a wolf in sheeps' clothing.
But I do realize that can happen. So I'm a little skittish about what the ordeal may be all about these days.
I do know of a local lady who met someone on ChristianMingle, and he turned out over time to be a wolf in sheeps' clothing.
But I do realize that can happen. So I'm a little skittish about what the ordeal may be all about these days.
O
let me begin by saying im 75 years old, involvd with a family here in shenzhen and have metasticized prostate cancer so i'm not personally concerned with dating, on line or in person. i did have one bad experience with a woman i met on line here in china. she wasnt the same person i had talked with on line but it took a while to find that out. if anyone is trying to find that right person i can only say .... take your time. my chinese grand daughter just went through a very difficult breakup and ended up by telling me "from now on i will only get into a relationship the old fashioned way .... your way." this site might be a very good place to meet people. follow their posts for a while and you will get an idea of where they stand on many things then say hello and see if anything happens. take care, i'm praying for you
S
Oh I know there is nothing evil about it, In my personal instance though I asked God to move in that area of my life, so I should have trusted him to do that and not have taken things into my own hands. Psalm 27:14 was heavy on my heart around that time as well, maybe He wanted me to wait, I am young still so I could have other things He wants me to do. I don't want to make my future marriage about me, for me personally I feel marriage is not for my own pleasures but to strengthen me as a Christian woman and I always say to the Lord when I pray about it that if I can better serve him as a married woman that he would bring that Godly man to me in His time. If God wants me married, I am sure I wouldn't need a dating site, He is much bigger than that. I never always felt this way, there was a lot of praying involved, so it's really a personal conviction. I kind of got the idea you had to defend online-dating (but my idea could be wrong) I am so so sorry if I offended you, I definitely am not judging you at all sister. Love you with the love of the Lord. Hugs.
W
