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Something about the people that you describe in your op make you insecure about yourself. Instead of facing whatever that insecurity and or fear is in you, you focus on what you perceive to be fault in them. Like Danalee said, anger is generally a secondary emotion with fear/insecurity as it underlying cause. If I was to guess it has something to do with your family of origin in an unresolved conflict.
Well , I don't know if this is true ...but I am seeing a therapist , so I will certainly bring this possibility to the fore.Thanks for your input.Much appreciated.