The right person for everyone... (interesting topic)

Baptistrw · Jan 15, 2009

Silly rabbit....

Topher · Jan 19, 2009

iraasuup said:
Hmmm, wow thanks guys.. you make very interesting points! It's just something that got me to thinking latley. I'm not divorced.. or getting divorced, (but I am married) but it's just something I've been wondering about. I mean sometimes married couples face problems.. deeper than anyone can ever understand.. and it just got me thinking about those issues, and why relationships don't work out and such.

Awwww. I'm going to start work immediately on a device that lets you hug people over the internet!

mguitar010 · Jan 20, 2009

Definitely sounds like an awesome idea topher! ill be the first one to use it!

u should add in either if its a bear hug or seal hug or happy hugetc... u know what i mean?

phaegmoristic · Jan 20, 2009

I think that there is someone for everyone because I am one of those people that believes in destiny still. I have said it my whole life maybe because I feel there is a destiny for me! I think God wants us happy and he wants us to have someone to love and love us also. But one thing I've come to realize how you handle a situation before you get married will partly determine how you handle it when you get married. In other words if something goes wrong or you make the other person mad will you just give up and move on or will you look past their faults and forgive them and talk about things. I think alot of times people are looking for that one perfect person that of course doesn't exist! and then everything seems fine till they get married then they deal with all sorts of different issues. I don't know that is just my take on it.

Pheonix · Jan 24, 2009

I keep seeing people mention "we aren't listening to God". My question is this. How do you know when God is talking. Better yet how do you know that it is God speaking and not the other side? How do you KNOW, that something is God's will and not your own selfish desires? Most times I hear people say "I found a bible verse and then knew God was speaking".

Well, I had a truck load of bible verses, and later after my ex and I had split, I realized after much thought and several years that it wasn't God speaking. It was myself.

So I ask again how do you KNOW it is God?

Baptistrw · Jan 24, 2009

I've had the same question. I always had doubts in my relationship, so now I see it wasn't God.

olivetree32 · Jan 24, 2009

hi guys, i so agree with Hersecretrefuge on the subject. And i do belive God has a speacial person for each one of us whome He has predestined and pre ordained to be married. I know some are chosen for singlness and that is cool and right on as i my self am a single waiting on God's perfect time. But also the bible says, man was meant not meant to be alone. So yea, its just a waiting period, as a bride adornes her self for Christ, we to i think have a preparation period. I love the earthly picture of marriage and how it so represents are Marraige with our heavenly Father. I agree to pray for couples, and for those who God has waiting to be married because yes, the enemy likes to separate people. Ecc 4:9Two [are] better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor

anyways, i like the fact that God can bless two people with a marriage, and you know what, im going to pray more for others on that , so i thank you for brining this to my attention. This past year i went to a bible study for married woman, and it was for singles too, but i learned so much from God going to that study, and took lots of notes. Marriage is for sure a gift from God, and we as christians willl represent to the world what God has joined together and be a light to those living in darkness. We just have to be aware of the enemy and his tricks and lies when HE tries to cause division. I wanted to share these scriptures if you don't mind.
Eph 5:23For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.http://www.blueletterbible.org/study/tsk/tsk.cfm?b=Eph&c=5&v=24&t=NKJV http://www.blueletterbible.org/Bible.cfm?b=Eph&c=5&v=1&t=NKJV#conc/24 http://www.blueletterbible.org/Bible.cfm?b=Eph&c=5&v=1&t=NKJV#comm/24
http://www.blueletterbible.org/Bible.cfm?b=Eph&c=5&v=1&t=NKJV#vrsn/24 http://www.blueletterbible.org/Bible.cfm?b=Eph&c=5&v=1&t=NKJV#dict/24
Eph 5:24Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in everything.http://www.blueletterbible.org/study/tsk/tsk.cfm?b=Eph&c=5&v=25&t=NKJV http://www.blueletterbible.org/Bible.cfm?b=Eph&c=5&v=1&t=NKJV#conc/25 http://www.blueletterbible.org/Bible.cfm?b=Eph&c=5&v=1&t=NKJV#comm/25
http://www.blueletterbible.org/Bible.cfm?b=Eph&c=5&v=1&t=NKJV#vrsn/25 http://www.blueletterbible.org/Bible.cfm?b=Eph&c=5&v=1&t=NKJV#dict/25
Eph 5:25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,

MahogonySnail · Jan 24, 2009

I think bringing God into a relationship or spiritualising the issue i.e. "is it God's will etc", only confuses the issue, in some cases it can destroy a relationship or harm a person's faith. God has already built into our nature some ways or instincts to know whether a person is right or not, we can follow those without resorting to a crystal ball. Even non-christians who don't have God can have very successful marriages for life, and the divorce rate for christians is no better than the secuar world. There's a saying that goes something like " a marriage may be made in heaven, but so is thunder and lightning". Marrying even who we believe to be the right person is no guarantee of a successful marriage. In many cases it might be better to stop searching for the right person, and instead take some conversational and conflict management and resolution classes or something to learn how to communicate. It's not so much about how suitable or right the other person is, it's about how you interact with another person. The bible doesn't say much at all on how to choose who to marry, but it does talk a lot about how to interact with a person you are married to. If we take some lessons from the bible as to "God's will' we have to be careful.. God once even told a prophet to marry a practicing prostitute. I think God's will may be different for each person, He may even have a number of people in mind for a person to marry, or maybe God has no other requirements than it simply be someone of the opposite sex. We simply don't know. Much of the choice is left up to us in deciding, afterall it's us who marry the other person, not God.

olivetree32 · Jan 24, 2009

well, we are married to God. Jesus is our husbnad. And we have to look to God in a marriage. That is how it will work. its a covanant with God.

MahogonySnail · Jan 25, 2009

The "right person" becomes whoever a person chooses to enter into marriage with.

erika83 · Jan 26, 2009

We can very well marry a "wrong person" too, like a non christian for example, we are told not to be yoked with the unbelievers ( 2 Cor 6:14-15) Regarding the right person, i think there is not just "one", i know of christian people who re-married after being widowed and they have a happy marriage.
We should always seek God's will and not follow our own desires and falling in love with someone is by no means a clue that the person is right for us, love can be blind

iraasuup · Jan 26, 2009

What if we enter into marriage with someone believing at the time they are the right person (and they are a Christian) and then for whatever reason, down the track it becomes apparent they may well not be the right person. What to do then huh?

erika83 · Jan 26, 2009

Mistakes always have consequences, in that case Ira i think the only thing one can do is pray for the spouse to return to God. The Bible says the only ground for divorce is infidelity or if the non christian spouse divorces, then the christian is free to re marry.

NazariteNation · Jan 26, 2009

olivetree32 said:
well, we are married to God. Jesus is our husbnad. And we have to look to God in a marriage. That is how it will work. its a covanant with God.

I tend to agree with Olive. Often times I see a lot of marriages "on the rocks" simply because both spouses seem to have opposing views on a particular matter and neither is willing to communicate much less make a compromise. The thing we have to remember is that God must come first in our lives then our children and spouses however, for that to work both spouses need to understand and apply this. (which is ussually rare)

It is human nature to be a little self centered however, a Godly couple can not afford to be like that at all and owe it not only to God and their spouses but also to themselves to come to understanding of what it is God expects from us in a healthy vibrant relationship.

Although I do realize that it can get very frustrating for those of you who do understand this yet your spouse doesn't seem to want to follow suit. However, that doesn't give you an excuse to act selfish in return. In fact the bible tells us that we should continue to be faithful to God and our spouses despite their unwillingness to co-operate while interceeding for your spouse the entire time. God does reward the faithful!

grace · Jan 26, 2009

erika83 said:
We can very well marry a "wrong person" too, like a non christian for example, we are told not to be yoked with the unbelievers ( 2 Cor 6:14-15) Regarding the right person, i think there is not just "one", i know of christian people who re-married after being widowed and they have a happy marriage.
We should always seek God's will and not follow our own desires and falling in love with someone is by no means a clue that the person is right for us, love can be blind

I think the bible makes it quite clear. There are consequences for every choice we make. Scripture says to be content with where we are and with what we have....scripture also says that God know the desires of our heart. I think that we want to rush the process....instead of allowing God to get our heart to the place where we are ready to receive what He has for us.
We don't always get do-overs because we are unhappy with the outcome. But we do get the choice to make the best of what we have for the glory of God. (being content and allowing God to work through our circumstances....submitting to Him)

I do not think that I believe in *one* person for you only. A couple of people have brought up the point of a spouse dieing etc.....AND scripture does talk about remarriage in the circumstances of unfaithfulness etc.

Anyway, my two cents.

Interesting topic though.

NazariteNation · Jan 26, 2009

grace said:
I think the bible makes it quite clear. There are consequences for every choice we make. Scripture says to be content with where we are and with what we have....scripture also says that God know the desires of our heart. I think that we want to rush the process....instead of allowing God to get our heart to the place where we are ready to receive what He has for us.
We don't always get do-overs because we are unhappy with the outcome. But we do get the choice to make the best of what we have for the glory of God. (being content and allowing God to work through our circumstances....submitting to Him)

I do not think that I believe in *one* person for you only. A couple of people have brought up the point of a spouse dieing etc.....AND scripture does talk about remarriage in the circumstances of unfaithfulness etc.

Anyway, my two cents. Interesting topic though.

Amen grace...

NazariteNation · Jan 26, 2009

NazariteNation said:
Although I do realize that it can get very frustrating for those of you who do understand this yet your spouse doesn't seem to want to follow suit. However, that doesn't give you an excuse to act selfish in return. In fact the bible tells us that we should continue to be faithful to God and our spouses despite their unwillingness to co-operate while interceeding for your spouse the entire time. God does reward the faithful!

Well, the bible may not actually come out right and say this however, i feel there is more than enough scriptural evidence to assume that it is most certainly implied! *lol*

iraasuup · Jan 26, 2009

I think you all make some very interesting and very valid points, however I must say sometimes I think it's really hard to place judgement on a situation, unless you yourself are actually facing it. By that I mean, it's all very well, to say well the bible says this and the scriptures say that and yadah yadah, but sometimes, we can be well-meaning Christians with the best of intentions, offering advice on a situation we really have no idea about. Sometimes the people in the situation are faced with such a moral dilemma of their own, because they know what the bible says, and they want to do the right thing, but they don't want to be trapped facing this terrible situation for the rest of their lives. Does that even make sense? I just wonder if sometimes there are times when we as fellow well-meaning Christian onlookers don't really see the bigger picture and are too quick to pass judgment??

Baptistrw · Jan 26, 2009

erika83 said:
We can very well marry a "wrong person" too, like a non christian for example, we are told not to be yoked with the unbelievers ( 2 Cor 6:14-15) Regarding the right person, i think there is not just "one", i know of christian people who re-married after being widowed and they have a happy marriage.
We should always seek God's will and not follow our own desires and falling in love with someone is by no means a clue that the person is right for us, love can be blind

Amen. God has a plan and will put us in the situation to fullfill it if we seek His will.

grace · Jan 26, 2009

iraasuup said:
I think you all make some very interesting and very valid points, however I must say sometimes I think it's really hard to place judgement on a situation, unless you yourself are actually facing it. By that I mean, it's all very well, to say well the bible says this and the scriptures say that and yadah yadah, but sometimes, we can be well-meaning Christians with the best of intentions, offering advice on a situation we really have no idea about. Sometimes the people in the situation are faced with such a moral dilemma of their own, because they know what the bible says, and they want to do the right thing, but they don't want to be trapped facing this terrible situation for the rest of their lives. Does that even make sense? I just wonder if sometimes there are times when we as fellow well-meaning Christian onlookers don't really see the bigger picture and are too quick to pass judgment??

I think more often than not, a person truly does not know what htey will do until they are faced with a situation.
I can only speak for myself. I was in a marital situation that was not ideal for many reasons. I feel like I lived in my marriage as I speak to others.
If there are any out there reading this thread that are facing a marital issue that they are struggling with, whatever it may be.....I hope that you prayerfully feel peace about it.

The right person for everyone... (interesting topic)

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