My (short) experience in a relationship

[Tintin]

If I were dating someone, & they took me to a party where there was drinking, that relationship would have veeeery short 'cuz it would have ended that evening! (I'm old-fashioned, so sue me!) It doesn't seem to me it would have taken 3 months to find that out, just sayin'.

It's very easy to drink in moderation.

 

[Stephen63]

It's very easy to drink in moderation.

Maybe...... but I bet those 'strangers' weren't.

 

[SparkleEyes]

So, I completely get it that dating relationships begin and end...but something puzzles me: .......why would someone stop posting on CC while they began a dating relationship.....Is a dating relationship supposed to take up so much of one's time (or energy) that one doesn't have the time to post on sites like this....dont people who date still want/need to have conversations with people they aren't dating.........CC isn't a dating site, so why stop posting if you start dating.........

What am i missing???

 

[DuchessAimee]

Maybe...... but I bet those 'strangers' weren't.

Who cares if the strangers weren't drinking in moderation? She's only responsible for herself. And you'll argue you shouldn't be around "those kind" of people. Perhaps no one should. However, Christ came for the sick, not the well.

 

[Stephen63]

Who cares if the strangers weren't drinking in moderation? She's only responsible for herself. And you'll argue you shouldn't be around "those kind" of people. Perhaps no one should. However, Christ came for the sick, not the well.

Philippians 2:5-13 (KJV) [SUP]5[/SUP]Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: [SUP]6 [/SUP]Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: [SUP]7 [/SUP]But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: [SUP]8 [/SUP]And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. [SUP]9 [/SUP]Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name: [SUP]10 [/SUP]That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth; [SUP]11 [/SUP]And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. [SUP]12 [/SUP]Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. [SUP]13 [/SUP]For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.

 

[DuchessAimee]

Philippians 2:5-13 (KJV) [SUP]5[/SUP]Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: [SUP]6 [/SUP]Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: [SUP]7 [/SUP]But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: [SUP]8 [/SUP]And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. [SUP]9 [/SUP]Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name: [SUP]10 [/SUP]That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth; [SUP]11 [/SUP]And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. [SUP]12 [/SUP]Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. [SUP]13 [/SUP]For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.

Yeah, so is this scripture for me and my salvation or persnickety and hers?



Labels, people! Labels are helpful.



On that note, this argument is 1) unnecessary, 2) incomplete, and 3) in the wrong forum. You don't get to beat up on people just because you think they're sinning. No one does. If she wants to drink, that's between her and Jesus. If she wants to go to a party and not drink while other people are drinking, that is also between her and Jesus. You don't get to decide her sin is ANY MORE than yours. You don't get to decide the extent of my sin OR my relationship with Christ for that matter either. Quote scripture all you want, but keep in mind that the pharisees and the devil himself know the word of God better than you do.

 

[seoulsearch]

Main point of my post: to say, Persnick, welcome back! We have missed you and look forward to your insightful posts!!!

Secondary point of my post: in response to going to a place where people are drinking... Jesus chose to eat at the houses of tax collectors and spend time in the company of "sinners." Most likely, drinking and carrying on was going on in those places, but Jesus did not see Himself as too holy or too Godly to go there and spend time with these people. In fact, He would point them out and say, "I am going to eat at your house today!!" And the Pharisees and religious leaders took great offense to this, calling Him the prince of demons.

I've always been interested in the fact that Jesus' harshest words weren't for the sinners of the day (though He was straight with them, of course), but rather, for the religious leaders--the people who knew Scripture the best and felt themselves to be the most Godly. But what did Jesus say to them? That they were whitewashed tombs who buried the people in burdens they themselves never lifted a finger to help anyone carry. And, the most telling, "Away from me, I never knew you."

If further proof is needed of Jesus' choice to go to places where others were drinking and partying, why do some forget that Jesus turned water into wine at a wedding? His first recorded miracle, if I remember correctly.

AND, He changed the water into wine AFTER they'd already RUN OUT of the wine they ALREADY had on hand and had served to the guests!! Jesus wasn't exactly cutting them off here. No, I'm not saying that Jesus was promoting partying or irresponsibility, but He obviously didn't condemn people choosing to drink alcohol either. After all, he didn't turn the water into plain old grape juice.

My guess would be... that there were more than a few intoxicated people at this party. And there was Jesus, right in the midst of it, by choice and/or direction from His Father.

Who happens to be Our Father too.

(One of the most interesting conversations about God and faith was with a guy in the back of a bar. I didn't drink. I was acting as a DD for my friends.) Some wonder why people are never saved--sometimes we have to stretch our boundaries and go to where the unsaved people are instead of expecting them to come to us, which is also why I actually enjoyed visiting prison inmates.

Nope, I'm not saying you have to go to wild parties or drunken bars in order to convert people to Jesus. But I will say, don't write these circumstances off entirely as a possibly very important chance to share your faith.

 

[jeremyPJ]

one important thing I've experienced like this, that it's important for both partners to be 'similarly" tolerant of the other. If I am very tolerant of her and her interests, but she thinks I need to conform to her low tolerance or downright "switching to doing everything her way". Seems this just invites disaster...

 

[seoulsearch]

^^^ Just to clarify regarding my earlier post--I was not trying to say at all that if one feels uncomfortable going into a place or situation in which people are drinking, by all means, don't do it if you feel convicted or that it's not your place. I totally understand what the OP is saying and completely back her point of view.

However, what I was trying to address was point was made in another post that came across as being very judgmental and critical of anyone who would chose to go to a place where people are drinking. Choosing not to be around such actions is fine-- but automatically judging and criticizing because one sees him or herself as being too "righteous" or spiritual to be in such places or around such people is not what we do as Christians.

Now I know the passage will probably come up about separating ourselves from the world, etc. But, as stated in my earlier posted, Jesus, at times, chose to dive right into the midst of it. And, at the wedding feast mentioned above, it's also interesting that not only did Jesus turn the water into wine after the guests had already helped themselves to everything that was already available, but the chief wine taster notably said that most people bring out the best wine first, while the guests were still sober... But in this case, he said the best wine was saved for last.

Not only did Jesus turn the water into wine, but it was also made into the very best. Now of course I am NOT saying the Jesus promoted partying or getting drunk... but as I said before, in this instance, He chose to be right in the middle of it. He wasn't judging, criticizing, or telling everyone He was too holy and too above their sins to be among them.

 

[Stephen63]

To persNickety, My intentions was not to do a verbal beatdown on you like a particular woman implied. As a minister, I was merely making a point that we have standards to keep & if we don't, we can wind up down a road of heartache. I told you what I would have told my own daughter (I was actually harder on her, & for good reason!). I'm sure that if you had to do those things over again, you would do it very differently as a result of new standards you've set for yourself. BTW, welcome back.

 

[Stephen63]

Yeah, so is this scripture for me and my salvation or persnickety and hers?



Labels, people! Labels are helpful.



On that note, this argument is 1) unnecessary, 2) incomplete, and 3) in the wrong forum. You don't get to beat up on people just because you think they're sinning. No one does. If she wants to drink, that's between her and Jesus. If she wants to go to a party and not drink while other people are drinking, that is also between her and Jesus. You don't get to decide her sin is ANY MORE than yours. You don't get to decide the extent of my sin OR my relationship with Christ for that matter either. Quote scripture all you want, but keep in mind that the pharisees and the devil himself know the word of God better than you do.

Well, here's what I replied to:

Who cares if the strangers weren't drinking in moderation? She's only responsible for herself. And you'll argue you shouldn't be around "those kind" of people. Perhaps no one should. However, Christ came for the sick, not the well.

So that means I was talking to you. That didn't need a 'label', if it was read correctly.
Now about that 2nd paragraph.....
RED: You're the only one in this forum so far doing any judging....... Here's my original post:

If I were dating someone, & they took me to a party where there was drinking, that relationship would have veeeery short 'cuz it would have ended that evening! (I'm old-fashioned, so sue me!) It doesn't seem to me it would have taken 3 months to find that out, just sayin'.

Did you see my 'puzzled' face? Puzzled 'cuz I thought she was more than mature 'nuf to see that, thinking good of her, not insulting. Anyone could see this was not a judgement call.

BLUE: Yeah, I am going to quote the scripture all I want. I posted that scripture without comments & you go off on me. Reeeeal nice........ says something about you.

BTW, since I like posting scripture so much, here's some more about staying away from sinful situations, just for you, in the open, since you rebuked me openly:

1 Corinthians 15:33-34 (NASB) [SUP]33 [/SUP]Do not be deceived: "Bad company corrupts good morals." [SUP]34 [/SUP]Become sober-minded as you ought, and stop sinning; for some have no knowledge of God. I speak this to your shame.

Romans 16:17-19 (NASB) [SUP]17 [/SUP]Now I urge you, brethren, keep your eye on those who cause dissensions and hindrances contrary to the teaching which you learned, and turn away from them. [SUP]18 [/SUP]For such men are slaves, not of our Lord Christ but of their own appetites; and by their smooth and flattering speech they deceive the hearts of the unsuspecting. [SUP]19 [/SUP]For the report of your obedience has reached to all; therefore I am rejoicing over you, but I want you to be wise in what is good and innocent in what is evil.

Romans 13:13-14 (NASB) [SUP]13 [/SUP]Let us behave properly as in the day, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual promiscuity and sensuality, not in strife and jealousy. [SUP]14 [/SUP]But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts.

2 Timothy 2:20-23 (NASB) [SUP]20 [/SUP]Now in a large house there are not only gold and silver vessels, but also vessels of wood and of earthenware, and some to honor and some to dishonor. [SUP]21 [/SUP]Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from these things, he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified, useful to the Master, prepared for every good work. [SUP]22 [/SUP]Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. [SUP]23 [/SUP]But refuse foolish and ignorant speculations, knowing that they produce quarrels.

Hebrews 12:1-2 (NASB) [SUP]1 [/SUP]Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, [SUP]2 [/SUP]fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Galatians 5:13-17 (NASB) [SUP]13 [/SUP]For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. [SUP]14 [/SUP]For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, "YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF." [SUP]15 [/SUP]But if you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another. [SUP]16 [/SUP]But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. [SUP]17 [/SUP]For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please.

Matthew 7:13-14 (NASB) [SUP]13 [/SUP]"Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. [SUP]14 [/SUP]"For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it.

1 Thessalonians 5:21-22 (NASB) [SUP]21 [/SUP]But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good; [SUP]22 [/SUP]abstain from every form of evil.

There's good news in the Scriptures:

1 John 1:9 (NASB) [SUP]9 [/SUP]If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Proverbs 28:12-14 (NASB) [SUP]12 [/SUP]When the righteous triumph, there is great glory, But when the wicked rise, men hide themselves. [SUP]13 [/SUP]He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, But he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion. [SUP]14 [/SUP]How blessed is the man who fears always, But he who hardens his heart will fall into calamity.

1 Corinthians 10:13 (NASB) [SUP]13 [/SUP]No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.


Please remember this one in particular:
1 Timothy 5:1-2 (KJV) [SUP]1 [/SUP]Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren; [SUP]2 [/SUP]The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity.

 

[persNickety]

Hi, it's me! The author of this thread. *waves* Guys go make another thread re: drinking & the bible. It's good to be back, and in all honesty, I miss my kitty more than my ex-bf XD

 

[DuchessAimee]

Well, here's what I replied to:

So that means I was talking to you. That didn't need a 'label', if it was read correctly.
Now about that 2nd paragraph.....
RED: You're the only one in this forum so far doing any judging....... Here's my original post:


Did you see my 'puzzled' face? Puzzled 'cuz I thought she was more than mature 'nuf to see that, thinking good of her, not insulting. Anyone could see this was not a judgement call.

BLUE: Yeah, I am going to quote the scripture all I want. I posted that scripture without comments & you go off on me. Reeeeal nice........ says something about you.

BTW, since I like posting scripture so much, here's some more about staying away from sinful situations, just for you, in the open, since you rebuked me openly:

1 Corinthians 15:33-34 (NASB) [SUP]33 [/SUP]Do not be deceived: "Bad company corrupts good morals." [SUP]34 [/SUP]Become sober-minded as you ought, and stop sinning; for some have no knowledge of God. I speak this to your shame.

Romans 16:17-19 (NASB) [SUP]17 [/SUP]Now I urge you, brethren, keep your eye on those who cause dissensions and hindrances contrary to the teaching which you learned, and turn away from them. [SUP]18 [/SUP]For such men are slaves, not of our Lord Christ but of their own appetites; and by their smooth and flattering speech they deceive the hearts of the unsuspecting. [SUP]19 [/SUP]For the report of your obedience has reached to all; therefore I am rejoicing over you, but I want you to be wise in what is good and innocent in what is evil.

Romans 13:13-14 (NASB) [SUP]13 [/SUP]Let us behave properly as in the day, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual promiscuity and sensuality, not in strife and jealousy. [SUP]14 [/SUP]But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts.

2 Timothy 2:20-23 (NASB) [SUP]20 [/SUP]Now in a large house there are not only gold and silver vessels, but also vessels of wood and of earthenware, and some to honor and some to dishonor. [SUP]21 [/SUP]Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from these things, he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified, useful to the Master, prepared for every good work. [SUP]22 [/SUP]Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. [SUP]23 [/SUP]But refuse foolish and ignorant speculations, knowing that they produce quarrels.

Hebrews 12:1-2 (NASB) [SUP]1 [/SUP]Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, [SUP]2 [/SUP]fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Galatians 5:13-17 (NASB) [SUP]13 [/SUP]For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. [SUP]14 [/SUP]For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, "YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF." [SUP]15 [/SUP]But if you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another. [SUP]16 [/SUP]But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. [SUP]17 [/SUP]For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please.

Matthew 7:13-14 (NASB) [SUP]13 [/SUP]"Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. [SUP]14 [/SUP]"For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it.

1 Thessalonians 5:21-22 (NASB) [SUP]21 [/SUP]But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good; [SUP]22 [/SUP]abstain from every form of evil.

There's good news in the Scriptures:

1 John 1:9 (NASB) [SUP]9 [/SUP]If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Proverbs 28:12-14 (NASB) [SUP]12 [/SUP]When the righteous triumph, there is great glory, But when the wicked rise, men hide themselves. [SUP]13 [/SUP]He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, But he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion. [SUP]14 [/SUP]How blessed is the man who fears always, But he who hardens his heart will fall into calamity.

1 Corinthians 10:13 (NASB) [SUP]13 [/SUP]No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.


Please remember this one in particular:
1 Timothy 5:1-2 (KJV) [SUP]1 [/SUP]Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren; [SUP]2 [/SUP]The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity.

I shrank the font because it took up too much space... much like this argument.


Just because you're older doesn't make you my elder. My elder at church is named Mike. He's a nice guy, and for the record, he doesn't think you have a right to judge my relationship with Christ either.



And two... *big fat eye roll* about you and your pride issues.



Hi persNickety! Why not get another kitty? I hear the tuxedo ones are playful and very sweet.

 

[lil_christian]

Hi persNickety! Why not get another kitty? I hear the tuxedo ones are playful and very sweet.

Tuxedo kitties are the BEST. ♥

 

[persNickety]

I shrank the font because it took up too much space... much like this argument.


Just because you're older doesn't make you my elder. My elder at church is named Mike. He's a nice guy, and for the record, he doesn't think you have a right to judge my relationship with Christ either.



And two... *big fat eye roll* about you and your pride issues.



Hi persNickety! Why not get another kitty? I hear the tuxedo ones are playful and very sweet.

OH MY, I WOULD LOOOOOOVE ANOTHER KITTY, however, I feel that after Sadie, my landlords don't want another cat in the house. Plus if/when i move, options are very limited on where are cat-friendly places to live. It breaks my heart tho, cus we have no-kill cat rescue shelter in my city; i support them financially each month, but I would love to adopt to help them out

 

[FireWire]

To persNickety, My intentions was not to do a verbal beatdown on you like a particular woman implied. As a minister, I was merely making a point that we have standards to keep & if we don't, we can wind up down a road of heartache. I told you what I would have told my own daughter (I was actually harder on her, & for good reason!). I'm sure that if you had to do those things over again, you would do it very differently as a result of new standards you've set for yourself. BTW, welcome back.

There's nothing wrong with having a drink or two but the bible does warn against getting drunk. However, one shouldn't put oneself in a situation where this could happen especially in a culture where drunkenness is applauded and even encouraged. It's all too easy to have one too many. You might think you're immune but you're not despite best intentions.

It seems if you post even one line of scripture as I did in the last week the response from some women around here is very hostile indeed and yes I was told that I was judging the relationship between God and themselves. There are standards because followers of Christ are to be the salt of the earth. What does salt do? It preserves things.

This is really only coming from one place that I can see. Yep, America has some serious serious problems.

 

[Stephen63]

Just because you're older doesn't make you my elder. My elder at church is named Mike. He's a nice guy, and for the record, he doesn't think you have a right to judge my relationship with Christ either.

And two... *big fat eye roll* about you and your pride issues..

1 Timothy 5:1-2 (KJV) [SUP]1 [/SUP]Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren; [SUP]2 [/SUP]The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity.

1 Timothy 5:1 (Interlinear) An elderly man do not rebuke but entreat as a father, the young men as brothers,

1 Timothy 5:1 (NASB) [SUP]1 [/SUP]Do not sharply rebuke an older man, but rather appeal to him as a father, to the younger men as brothers,

1 Timothy 5:1 (NLT) [SUP]1 [/SUP]Never speak harshly to an older man, but appeal to him respectfully as you would to your own father. Talk to younger men as you would to your own brothers.

Where do you think the phrase "respect your elders" came from?

This is one of the last day signs.....

2 Timothy 3:1-5 (KJV) [SUP]1 [/SUP]This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. [SUP]2 [/SUP]For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, [SUP]3 [/SUP]Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent (without self-control), fierce, despisers of those that are good, [SUP]4 [/SUP]Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; [SUP]5 [/SUP]Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.

1 Timothy 5:17-19 (KJV) [SUP]17 [/SUP]Let the elders that rule well be counted worthy of double honour, especially they who labour in the word and doctrine. [SUP]18 [/SUP]For the scripture saith, Thou shalt not muzzle the ox that treadeth out the corn. And, The labourer is worthy of his reward. [SUP]19 [/SUP]Against an elder receive not an accusation, but before two or three witnesses.

When's the last time anyone has seen an elder board with preachers/teachers on it besides the pastor? Just another reason most of the modern church is sliding into apostasy.

Hosea 4:6-11 (KJV) [SUP]6 [/SUP]My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee, that thou shalt be no priest to me: seeing thou hast forgotten the law of thy God, I will also forget thy children. [SUP]7 [/SUP]As they were increased, so they sinned against me: therefore will I change their glory into shame. [SUP]8 [/SUP]They eat up the sin of my people, and they set their heart on their iniquity. [SUP]9 [/SUP]And there shall be, like people, like priest: and I will punish them for their ways, and reward them their doings. [SUP]10 [/SUP]For they shall eat, and not have enough: they shall commit whoredom, and shall not increase: because they have left off to take heed to the LORD. [SUP]11 [/SUP]Whoredom and wine and new wine take away the heart.

 

[hoss2576]

Maybe...... but I bet those 'strangers' weren't.

Aren't you passing judgment on something you have no first hand knowledge?

 

[violakat]

PersNickety, welcome back. Especially if you are who I think you are. And even if you're not, welcome back.

 

[FireWire]

Aren't you passing judgment on something you have no first hand knowledge?

Not correct. This is Gods Word under judgment and as already said this is a sign of the last days. The very last days. What's ironic is women want men to be a leader yet start opposing it as has happened here. Last days indeed.

If these women disagree then they should be discussing it without accusations and hostility because they're actually just defending themselves instead of checking what Gods word says. This is commonly known as self-righteousness.