Serving Others

[MissCris]

In the youth group I was a part of as a teen, there was a lot of emphasis on having "a servant's heart" or a "servant's attitude". We did a lot of projects for the church and around the community, and we were often reminded of what Jesus would do/what Jesus did do. That was all well and good- and I'm all for teaching the value of serving others, and making a bunch of snotty teenagers engage in manual labor...

But I remember having struggled with my attitude about it. My heart was absolutely not in the right place.

It still isn't.

I dont mind helping people who I know would or have done the same for me... But when it comes to people who expect to be served, or who are ungrateful...

Honestly, I would rather stab myself in the eye with a used hypodermic needle.
Ooh, that sounds a lot worse than it did in my head...sorry.

So I'm left wondering, how does a person have a servant's heart? Is it a gift they're born with? Or can it be learned? Is it like a "fake it til you make it" deal for some?

Also...and I might regret asking for it, but...scripture about this?

 

[jogoldie]

Hey miss chris.......I use to have friends who would berate me for giving to those who they felt
would only use the money for drugs or alcohol....my response to them was this......
I doesnt matter what they do with it......we serve God....we will be accountable....my giving is to God....
and He also knows your heart....what others do with it is between them and God.....I am being
obedient to Him....when I work at my job....people say....they dont pay us enough to work this hard....
I do know about anybody else....I work for God and I try to always give it my all......
We are called to help His people...this makes God happy....enough for me...
I do things for others and God is pleased......doesnt matter if people know..or care
or thankful ......God is pleased with me......yaaahoo....
Like you say it is attitude...we please Him even more when we do charity without anyone else
knowing.....makes God proud of us......so just pray for ungrateful people...because their life is a difficult one...
And if you do this....its the real feeling of giving......amazing.....
Ive been searching scripture...
1 chronicles 29:9..Then the people rejoiced because these had given willingly, for with a whole and blameless
heart they had offered freely to the Lord. King David also rejoiced greatly.
Ephesians 6:8....Knowing that for whatever good anyone does , he will receive his reward from the Lord,
whether he is slave or free....

 

[tourist]

In the youth group I was a part of as a teen, there was a lot of emphasis on having "a servant's heart" or a "servant's attitude". We did a lot of projects for the church and around the community, and we were often reminded of what Jesus would do/what Jesus did do. That was all well and good- and I'm all for teaching the value of serving others, and making a bunch of snotty teenagers engage in manual labor...

But I remember having struggled with my attitude about it. My heart was absolutely not in the right place.

It still isn't.

I dont mind helping people who I know would or have done the same for me... But when it comes to people who expect to be served, or who are ungrateful...

Honestly, I would rather stab myself in the eye with a used hypodermic needle.
Ooh, that sounds a lot worse than it did in my head...sorry.

So I'm left wondering, how does a person have a servant's heart? Is it a gift they're born with? Or can it be learned? Is it like a "fake it til you make it" deal for some?

Also...and I might regret asking for it, but...scripture about this?

My wife had a servant's heart until the day of her death. We are all called to serve God with a contrite heart and a humble attitude. It is a gift that must be awaken in each individual to have life and to have it more abundantly.

 

[tourist]

Hey miss chris.......I use to have friends who would berate me for giving to those who they felt
would only use the money for drugs or alcohol....my response to them was this......
I doesnt matter what they do with it......we serve God....we will be accountable....my giving is to God....
and He also knows your heart....what others do with it is between them and God.....I am being
obedient to Him....when I work at my job....people say....they dont pay us enough to work this hard....
I do know about anybody else....I work for God and I try to always give it my all......
We are called to help His people...this makes God happy....enough for me...
I do things for others and God is pleased......doesnt matter if people know..or care
or thankful ......God is pleased with me......yaaahoo....
Like you say it is attitude...we please Him even more when we do charity without anyone else
knowing.....makes God proud of us......so just pray for ungrateful people...because their life is a difficult one...
And if you do this....its the real feeling of giving......amazing.....
Ive been searching scripture...
1 chronicles 29:9..Then the people rejoiced because these had given willingly, for with a whole and blameless
heart they had offered freely to the Lord. King David also rejoiced greatly.
Ephesians 6:8....Knowing that for whatever good anyone does , he will receive his reward from the Lord,
whether he is slave or free....

Bless your heart, dear. The love and attitude you display mirrors the love and attitude that you have in your heart to serve the Lord. You are amazing!

 

[zaoman32]

Honestly, I think it's a fake it till you make it type of thing.

I really have no desire to serve others...at all...ever...like....you don't even know...(unless they need a bass player!)

Anyway, when I'm confronted with that opportunity to serve though, there are a couple things I think of. If it's someone who I know will be grateful and really needs the help, I think about how much people have helped me when I've needed them, or if I were in their situation in the future, would I want the same from them? The whole golden rule thing I guess.

If it's someone I KNOW is not deserving, I think of Jesus washing the disciples feet. If I remember right, Judas was still with them at that time. Jesus knew Judas would betray him, and yet there he was washing his feet.

There's also a difference made when it's done with a begrudging attitude though too. If your heart's not in it, don't bother, but if you think about God, and you're aiming to please him, that's when it matters.

 

[MissCris]

Honestly, I think it's a fake it till you make it type of thing.

I really have no desire to serve others...at all...ever...like....you don't even know...(unless they need a bass player!)

Anyway, when I'm confronted with that opportunity to serve though, there are a couple things I think of. If it's someone who I know will be grateful and really needs the help, I think about how much people have helped me when I've needed them, or if I were in their situation in the future, would I want the same from them? The whole golden rule thing I guess.

If it's someone I KNOW is not deserving, I think of Jesus washing the disciples feet. If I remember right, Judas was still with them at that time. Jesus knew Judas would betray him, and yet there he was washing his feet.

There's also a difference made when it's done with a begrudging attitude though too. If your heart's not in it, don't bother, but if you think about God, and you're aiming to please him, that's when it matters.

That's totally what I was getting at...like, how do you go from "no WAY am I doing this" to "Yes, Lord, for you".

I'm around people today who...need help whenever they can get it, but refuse to ask for it. They also don't particularly like me, but when I just jump in and lend a hand, they accept it, with poor grace...but they accept it.
And a huge part of me is begrudging them every bit of effort I've put forth because I know that when I leave later, they'll be bad-mouthing me.
It's hard to have my heart in the right place through this.
But I'm glad to be reminded of Jesus washing the disciples feet...I've heard it so many times, but this is one time it really resonates with me.

 

[violakat]

The minute I started reading this, my thoughts immediately turned to a passage in the Bible about going the extra mile. (Matt 5)
Back then, the Romans could force the Jews to carry their stuff for one mile out of their city and no more. But Jesus said to go the extra mile. Why? Well, it wasn't because the Romans were grateful, but that maybe, just maybe, your actions would conviction on others and cause them to wonder why you were different. I

t's not so much being born with a Servant's heart, but being willing to allow God to use you in whatever circumstances. Sometimes you will be the only witness in that person's life. EVER. Our attitude when we serve others will be very much seen. If we are doing it to make ourselves look better, then yeah, we are not going to have a servant's heart, but if we are doing it to bring glory to God, then it becomes less about us and more about God.

 

[Ugly]

I think the first step in being a servant is being submissive. Often times people don't want to be servants because of pride. "This person is no better than me, why should i serve them?". But this is not Gods view (ugh, yes, Gods perspective again). God looks to us to be humble. Servants (with a true servant heart) are humble people that do not find serving demeaning, but rather they find their own personal form of reward in giving to others, even if they don't ask for, or deserve it.
But generally most of us see it as 'lowering' ourselves to serve rather than an opportunity to give. I think it's a harder concept in the modern world to accept, especially in America, because servitude is viewed as 'low class' 'poor' 'uneducated' or for some may even hearken back to forced slavery. So the very concept has been taught against in our minds since children. But, isn't that the price of following Christ? Bucking the trends the world teaches us for the 'higher calling of doing right'? Until we stop viewing other people as beneath us (or at least no better than us) and start viewing the world as a place of needs to be met, some of which we may be able to meet, then being a servant will never come easy.

But moving on to the trickier prospect of serving those who may abuse our good will, i tend to take the 'less Christian' ideal. Or so it seems. But really, it's not less Christian. Our time, money and other things we can use to serve others are still to be held as precious to give out. Gifts. Not always to those who deserve it, but to those who have a genuine need. But not everyone can appreciate what they're given, or even might expect the things they receive. So, my biblical stance on serving this ungrateful, demanding, abusive and expectant types is 'don't cast pearls before swine'. We can still be loving, and we might have a chance on occasion to help one of these people without giving too much, but at the end of the day if we serve someone that can't recognize what a gift they have, our sacrifice is wasted.

As a side note i'd like to thank Cristen for her slew of recent posts and questions. For me, being so active in my teens, in a lot of church and bible activities, etc.. much of these topics were things i 'just knew' now. But it's been refreshing revisiting and reviewing if i actually Still believe the same. Or for the same reasons. And it's nice to have some spiritual topics in here that don't have to revolve around deep theology or singleness, but are just good 'daily living' topics. This past week in the forums, do to these threads, have been one of the better times in the threads in a long time.
And thanks to all who have contributed with advice, answers, stories, etc... that have allowed these good thread ideas to blossom into good threads and be enjoyable to read, and even to still learn on things that i thought i had all figured out a long time ago.

 

[MissCris]

I don't really see serving others as lowering myself...though I know that's another struggle people have with this concept. For me, it's more that I don't want to do something for someone who:
A) could do the thing their self
B) will likely feel bitter that they received help even if they really needed it
C) will not lift a finger to help or serve anyone else, or
D) is horrible to others for no reason

Though...I guess, looking at what I've just said, it IS like I think I'm better than they are. Huh. That's...not fun to realize. But, now I see that about myself, I can change it.

Something else I've been thinking on today that goes along with this is my favorite verse- "if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them" (Luke 6:32...er...isn't it? I have the worst memory for scripture). If we're serving others, we're showing them love...or, that's the idea behind it, anyway. So if I'm picking and choosing who to love, in that way, and only joyfully serving the people who would do the same for me, while resenting having to do it for people who treat me poorly...

I'm no better than the lost souls who don't know Christ.
I mean, I know I'm not anyway- I just mean, as a Christian, I'm held to higher standards, and I'm falling miserably short with my crappy attitude.

Um...is any of that right? Am I on the right track here? Anyone?

 

[Raine]

^Nice post ugly.

Humbleness is a huge part of it, as he mentioned... Just think of when Jesus stooped down to wash his disciples feet. God, sovereign, almighty, creator of all things, chose to stoop down into a human body and wash the dirty filthy (and I'm sure stinky) feet of his disciples.

In order to obtain a heart to serve, we must obtain a heart that is open to and knows the love of God. By understanding his perspective, of how he views others, and his love, and meditating and saturating in his love, are we then only able to give and serve others. A lot of times when I serve, or do things that I wouldn't ordinarily do, I know I can do it because it comes from God and not myself. Like when I feel an overwhelming love for someone, or choose to have self control, my fleshly human body, heart and mind, can't do this! I will fail miserably! But because God releases his love and strength over me, I am able to do it.

When we know God's heart, we will know his desires, and they will become our desires, which will lead to a heart of serving. God calls us to love our neighbors, and what is love? Love is kind. And what is kindness? To show goodness to those who are deserving and to those who are undeserving of it.

However, Proverbs also tells us to not mingle with fools. So when people are ungrateful, its okay if they are ungrateful, just don't make them a regular part of your life or you will eventually get harmed.

Also, I think you have to change your perspective just a tiny bit... When you do things for others, do not do it for them because they would have done the same for you... Do it because Christ has already done it for you. That is what makes the experience so beautiful.

Hope this helps.

 

[Ugly]

I don't really see serving others as lowering myself...though I know that's another struggle people have with this concept. For me, it's more that I don't want to do something for someone who:
A) could do the thing their self
B) will likely feel bitter that they received help even if they really needed it
C) will not lift a finger to help or serve anyone else, or
D) is horrible to others for no reason

Though...I guess, looking at what I've just said, it IS like I think I'm better than they are. Huh. That's...not fun to realize. But, now I see that about myself, I can change it.

Something else I've been thinking on today that goes along with this is my favorite verse- "if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them" (Luke 6:32...er...isn't it? I have the worst memory for scripture). If we're serving others, we're showing them love...or, that's the idea behind it, anyway. So if I'm picking and choosing who to love, in that way, and only joyfully serving the people who would do the same for me, while resenting having to do it for people who treat me poorly...

I'm no better than the lost souls who don't know Christ.
I mean, I know I'm not anyway- I just mean, as a Christian, I'm held to higher standards, and I'm falling miserably short with my crappy attitude.

Um...is any of that right? Am I on the right track here? Anyone?

I think the only thing missing here is that we are not waste our sacrifice, as i stated before. This isn't to say we refuse to help the ungrateful, etc... but that we give it freely to those who understand what they receive. And to those that have expectations or the other things you listed, well, if we can help them, we should. But i don't believe we should seek out to serve them. Doubly so if the person may mistreat you for it. I don't view this as unloving, the concern you seemed to hold to according to Luke, but rather using wisdom, which we are also commanded to use. Some people are takers and will never be affected by the good others may try to give them. God doesn't want us wasting time on people who will never 'get it'.
God might want to use His time on them, but we are limited beings, with limited time and resources. We don't have the 'endless supply of everything' God has. So i believe wisdom is using your gifts to their best use. Why help one who will complain at you, while another with an equal needs does without, who might be affected positively by the same gesture?

But really, at the end of the day we just have to do what we believe is right in our hearts. And that mean there could be times where, according to our sight, we do the 'less wise' thing by serving the ungrateful jerk. We just follow our hearts, use our wisdom and listen to where God sends us. No matter what choice we make, if we have a sincere heart God will see this and be pleased, and isn't that really the end goal of all of this anyways?

 

[Arlene89]

What Raine said, she hit that nail real good!

 

[Arlene89]

Like Raine, I'll support that having the heart for serving stems from knowing who you are, knowing who He is, and acting on that, with love being the leading momentum. Serving people who do not seem to 'deserve' it is so backwards to the ways of this world, that it really does impact people.

At work, I sometimes help or 'serve' even the cleaners and to share their work load when I have time, or I assist some of the girls who are studying while working and sit down with them to help their assignments. I have been met with a lot of ungratefulness, but you know what? It took just over a year of this before I saw the women's hearts begin to soften. I didn't do it to earn their trust or favour or to win brownie points, but I truly wanted to bring the love of Christ in to my work place, to hurting women who are crying out for an answer. Those women have watched me for a long time, and I began by being made sport of in the staffroom. "Oh THAT'S right, Arlene, you don't drink, you're a -good- girl.", "I reckon she's secretly a wild child", or "Why don't you go out and have a life?"

But now? They don't poke fun at me anymore. Now I find that they are opening up to me about their lives, I've had opportunities to share my testimony and women are even asking about my faith and beliefs. When we serve in love, we reveal something of Christ and His nature, and when we release this in to a world of hurting orphans, it changes things. We may not be instantly rewarded with a response or even a smile, but for a moment, you've touched them with a love that has already been given to you.

There have been many times I just wanted to tell everyone to get stuffed, but I realised there is a bigger picture here. The Lord wants these women to know HIM. He wants them to experience HIM, and we are to be that light. To walk on bearing His likeness and to share the good news. The love I have received is so overwhelming, so powerful and so rich that I feel like if it's not overflowing out of me, I'll explode. That's the kind of love our God gives to us, and He intends for us to be vessels that overflow of Him and to spill on to people around us.

So many people are walking around with so much hurt and so many trust issues. In many cases, its our actions that minister to them more so than our words.

On top of that, I can agree with William, and say we DO have to discern when we're being used or mistreated. And like he said, use wisdom and follow the prompting of the Holy Spirit.

 

[Test_F_i_2_Luv]

Try going somewhere where people's attitude towards you will be more grateful.

A retirement home, for example.

People there generally love visitors. That you would spend time with them would make their day. When they are curious to know why you do it, you can share you're faith.

As in first century times, not all will accept or appreciate your message, but some will.

This would give you an excellent opportunity to bear the fruits of the Spirit and enjoy yourself.

Some will say to be persistent and continue preaching in the face of adversity. I say there is a fine line between sharing the gospel/sharing the love of God and casting pearls before swine.

Please read Matt 10 for full context, but I wish to point out only verse 14:

If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet.