Question for the ladies

[BlueYetti]

Right woman, or right type of woman. It's plain to see that's the issue. And you say if you try to avoid the physical aspects and get 'friend zoned' because of it, well, that's because those women are looking for physical relationships. The problem, according to your explanation, is that you are not finding the right type of women. And your suggestion that the initial 'pick up' is likely part of that issue.
Personally i am not in favor of the 'pick up'. I prefer friendship blossoming into more, rather than approaching a stranger and spending time and money getting to find out if i even want to get to know them. But that type of atmosphere/thinking is likely to dredge up a higher rate of lower standards in people. Because there's less depth and personalization to their goals.

I have to agree with everything you just said, however, I did not mean pick up as like a pick up line, or cruising bars and grocery stores. I just could find a smaller word for "we start talking at work or in a circle of friends, hit it off, go on a few dates, have fun together, and begin to hang out a lot" sorry, just being lazy. lol

 

[BlueYetti]

occasionally, i remind myself that IF i wanted to be i a relationship badly enough, i could be. but there is no lonelier place than a bad relationship.

Tru dat, Amen

 

[BlueYetti]

No sir! I didn´t say it better!

It´s that I was drawn to something fresh I lived out and, of course, I could admit (without regret) I was in the wrong place (servicing a PC to a pastor´s) and I FELL in selfindulgency: I sinned!

After that failure (which always has a remedy) I took notes and i don´t mind sharing them because, men and women (sometimes) we play similar games and, in the long run, something is lost more than won (but I told that from personal experience) and I´m not playing as a victim (the role anyone could play) because I won more than I lose and, at my age, I´m getting ready to lose it all. (Mar 8:36 What good does it do for people to win the whole world yet lose their lives?
Mar 8:37 Or what should a person give in exchange for life?).

Amos 3:3 is the key to walk together!

This post reminded me when I was in AA. In the recovery circle they believe that insanity it doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Good post, and it has been what I have been doing with relationships. Another reason I am adamant to stay true to the Lord.


MissCris was saying something similar, I am probably fishing in the wrong pond.....Nailed it.

 

[secularhermit]

This post reminded me when I was in AA. In the recovery circle they believe that insanity it doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Good post, and it has been what I have been doing with relationships. Another reason I am adamant to stay true to the Lord.


MissCris was saying something similar, I am probably fishing in the wrong pond.....Nailed it.

I don´t know if there is something like YMCA to expect different result on these things you invited US to share, a bit. As a matter of getting "knowledge", my brother´s GF asked me to hepl carry her luggage to the bus stop, she´s travelling to other state and she gave several tips I wish I keep in mind and, of course, these have to do with the kindness and respect several young ladies shared here.

1) She felt upset my brother was unwilling to go to the airport.
2) He rather liked to go with his friends to bet at horses races and, while each was about to be started, he would be playing dominoes with his friends, somewhere else (not their home).
3) Those briefcases were heavy, so I needed to ask her remove things, so I could the one I hardly lift (How could she be lifting all her luggage alone at both airports?)
4) She told me she wanted my brother went, with her, in that trip to visit her relatives (just because her sister is pregnant and she would need some help for 1 week, at least, and my brother and his GF are nurses).

Obviously I challanged her to keep on, to speak those things clear, because my brother is and was accting selfishly and unkind (He had the time to spend 3 days with her, at least, and she needs to be out of her homie chores and also wanted him to know and share with her in-laws).

She loves him! I´m happy he is enjoying his time but, when he called me to say "thanks", I told him: "Take care of her" and that I want to share my ideas with him (about her). How come we men tend to be so selfh?

She is simple, talkative and several HERE like the way she is but, we men, sometimes are too blind to see things well.

This one is not narcissisit, but my brother instead: He had her posponed the trip yesterday and, today, he also wanted it posponed again. What for? To get a cake baked!!!

He has de money to buy them!() for him) He should have gone with her to help her sister (as a 2nd nurse), but he wanted to bet in horse races and play dominoes...

Please! I´m not feminist, but I don´t want to be goofed that way for selfishness.

 

[secularhermit]

@ BlueYetti

"MissCris was saying something similar, I am probably fishing in the wrong pond.....Nailed it."

I think WE all tend to fish the same pool, either it be at churchlike people or not.

One more thing:

Last year, on a Christian pool, I heard someone wanted a wed party... When I heard she wanted to invite 200 people, I got scared.

Simply! If she uses the money I cannot affort -even if that be paid by someone else- I would face troubles when I´m looking at a different way I u$ed mine...

From that day on, I faded off! She is a dream (I wrote about in my 1st blogs in CC) but I knew the things where I was expecting "different" results. Sometimes it could be (sometimes it is another´s failure).