Well THAT came out of nowhere.

[MissCris]

First of all, I am completely aware that I have been sort of really flooding the forum with questions and TMI. I'm not sorry.

Secondly...have you ever been completely taken by surprise by discovering somebody was interested in you? I don't mean that as in like, you didn't think anyone would be attracted to you- I'm talking about finding out someone you never would have suspected either admitting their attraction or asking you out. Basically just coming out of left field and dropping this bomb on you when you were completely preoccupied with life.

How did you deal with it? Was it funny, or kinda sad, or totally awkward?

I ask because...

Today, I had two extremely out-of-the-blue experiences like that.

One me was a Facebook message from a long-time friend, telling me he wasn't entirely sure he should say anything, but was tired of not saying it, and that he'd wanted to date me for a very long time.
I was kind of like...Wuuuut? (Yes, my whole brain went stupid out of shock). And then I tried to explain, gently, that I wasn't interested in dating, and that my circumstances don't really...ugh. You guys know, I won't repeat myself. But basically, the whole thing was very awkward and I felt pretty bad; he's a very nice guy.

And then...because once my day gets weird, it goes for gold...

I was actually able to leave my apartment without my kids for a short period of time this afternoon. No car, so I just walked over to the nearby school and sat in a swing. I spent half the time staring at the ground, some of the time swinging, some of it posting here. While all lost in my own little world, a man and a little girl showed up. The little girl took the swing next to mine and was all friendliness and smiles and wanted me to swing with her. Her dad joined in on her other side.

That at was a pretty fun few minutes, and then I told the girl I had to go home to my own kiddos, which elicited a million questions that I answered patiently. Then she asked me my name, and told me here and her dad's names, and I said goodbye and started walking home.

The man caught up with me and said he would really like to take me to dinner sometime.

And I, of course, said the most logical thing I could think of- "I um...I don't really do dinner."
Which caused an extreme awkwardness, and I realized I was being dumb, so I said I appreciated the offer but wasn't interested.

This has all made me feel super incredibly weird, and kinda sad too. I dunno. Not because I wanted to go out with him, or the other guy, or anyone at all for that matter, but because I don't even know how to gracefully (or at least not awkwardly) handle being approached like that.

Wow, I didn't really intend to babble so much...right, back to the question- your most unexpected admirers?

 

[MissCris]

...grrr to time limits on editing....

 

[rachelsedge]

The only time I can think of that this has happened was when I was in high school and I found out that a boy (who had transferred to a different school after the 6th grade) liked me when he and I were in 5th grade. He would stab my arm with a pencil, and I remember being shocked when I found out he liked me, because, well...he would stab me with a pencil. I thought he hated me. What a weird way to show interest.

I really hope no one shows interest in me in that way again.

Other than that, nope. But if it makes you feel any better, I know I'd also be incredibly awkward in response and my face would probably get red and burn so much that the sheer heat of my embarrassment would cause them to have to back away a few feet by default and for their own personal safety.

 

[Pipp]

My most unexpected was a 16 year old guy from church when I was 26. He didn't ask me out , but instead went around asking the men of the church to pray for us cause we were praying about getting married in the future. I had to pull him aside and tell him I was praying FOR him as a friend...and not ABOUT him as a future marriage partner. He of course would not be discouraged until my dad told him to back off... and quit telling get people stuff about us that wasn't true. We are still friends now now and he is happily dating someone his own age.

 

[MissCris]

Rachel...you're adorable. And YES! The blushing and whatnot. It's kinda terrible isn't it? Ugh!

 

[wisebeardman]

My most unexpected was a 16 year old guy from church when I was 26. He didn't ask me out , but instead went around asking the men of the church to pray for us cause we were praying about getting married in the future. I had to pull him aside and tell him I was praying FOR him as a friend...and not ABOUT him as a future marriage partner. He of course would not be discouraged until my dad told him to back off... and quit telling get people stuff about us that wasn't true. We are still friends now now and he is happily dating someone his own age.

wait, when you was 26 you had a 16 year old after you but wouldn't actually just come up to you and say it.. thats wild.

 

[Pipp]

wait, when you was 26 you had a 16 year old after you but wouldn't actually just come up to you and say it.. thats wild.

Oh no...he had no problem just coming up and saying it. He tried to buy me stuff and do stuff for me. It was very sweet of him , but he was wayyyyyyyyyyyyy too young.

 

[SpaceCowboy]

wait, when you was 26 you had a 16 year old after you but wouldn't actually just come up to you and say it.. thats wild.

It really is.

 

[CatHerder]

...have you ever been completely taken by surprise by discovering somebody was interested in you? I don't mean that as in like, you didn't think anyone would be attracted to you- I'm talking about finding out someone you never would have suspected either admitting their attraction or asking you out. Basically just coming out of left field and dropping this bomb on you when you were completely preoccupied with life.

How did you deal with it? Was it funny, or kinda sad, or totally awkward?

Yes, I have. It was totally awkward. Looking back now, I think it's kind of funny. I was recently separated, feeling a lot of things you have been describing in your recent posts. One of the music people at church asked me if I would like to sing on the worship team for an upcoming Sunday. Now, I had played piano - solos, accompaniments and praise band stuff, and I had played french horn in the church orchestra, led the group, and even arranged a lot of their music, but I had never sung in church outside of joining the choir for an occasional a cappella number, so I wasn't up there twiddling my thumbs. Though I had no desire to sing really, I agreed, because art of me felt that in the emotional state I was in, going even MORE outside my comfort zone would be a good thing.

It was a large vocal ensemble, about 6-8 people. We were positioned in two arcs, each positioned around one microphone, like we were dueling motown groups or something. At the rehearsal, during a rather lively instrumental lead-in, the gal across from me starts getting into the music and jumping up and down. She is quite buxom and was not wearing much in the way of support... It was quite distracting and annoying at the same time.

She is a relatively new Christian, so I mentioned to the music director, who was kind of a mentor to her, that XXXX should support her "girls" more. She replied, "Well yes. XXX is rather excited at the idea of you being single." The idea that XXXX would do that intentionally had not dawned on me.



Then there was the lady from my Divorce Care class. It was well after the class sessions were over, and she was kind of a friend of a friend, so we kind of kept in contact. She didn't want a relationship or anything, but proposed that we "help each other out - - sexually." I declined. Sometimes, the carnal me kicks myself for this.



Some "friends" from church also revealed to me around this time that they had an "open" marriage and made me an offer that I could, and did, refuse. I also learned that they made the same "offer" to another church member (female) who was going through a divorce. I think I was more upset that their "recruitment" efforts focused on the emotionally vulnerable than their lack of concern for their marital covenant.


Soooooo.....yeah. Weird stuff happened to me too when I was recently separated. For a while, I was really concerned that I projected some sort of slutty vibe to people. Then I realized that that was blaming myself instead of them, and that I wasn't going to own any of their brand of crazy.

 

[tourist]

Where do you come up with these fascinating threads? One thing is for sure, your life's adventures make for interesting reading.

 

[JesusLives]

Three different interests - The first was a surprise when I read an entry from my high school year book a rather shy guy had written boldly of his interest in me but had never really showed it in real life unless I just wasn't paying attention. But it is endearing to me now so many years later that he was interested and posted it.

Second - I had gone out with a group of co-workers when I was in my early twenties and when I was ready to leave one of the guys asked me if he could walk me to my car and since it was after dark I agreed. He kissed me when we got to my car and I was surprised by that since I was married and he knew it. I reminded him of that and he said your husband does not treat you right and I said that might be so but I love my husband so this won't happen. It was awkward but he never tried anything again.

Third time was an 18 year old had a crush on me when I was 33 and divorced with an eight year old daughter. He was one of my kids from the teen church group that I helped teach and I told him that I was not Potipher's wife and it was not going to happen. He even tried to get me to agree to date him by saying he had dated older women before but it was a no go for me. After all he was one of my kids from church - he did marry a woman older than him but it ended in divorce - before he married her I tried to talk him out of it but he went ahead and married her anyway. He is engaged to someone much closer to his age now.

So those are my weird encounters.

 

[Fenner]

Yes, I have. It was totally awkward. Looking back now, I think it's kind of funny. I was recently separated, feeling a lot of things you have been describing in your recent posts. One of the music people at church asked me if I would like to sing on the worship team for an upcoming Sunday. Now, I had played piano - solos, accompaniments and praise band stuff, and I had played french horn in the church orchestra, led the group, and even arranged a lot of their music, but I had never sung in church outside of joining the choir for an occasional a cappella number, so I wasn't up there twiddling my thumbs. Though I had no desire to sing really, I agreed, because art of me felt that in the emotional state I was in, going even MORE outside my comfort zone would be a good thing.

It was a large vocal ensemble, about 6-8 people. We were positioned in two arcs, each positioned around one microphone, like we were dueling motown groups or something. At the rehearsal, during a rather lively instrumental lead-in, the gal across from me starts getting into the music and jumping up and down. She is quite buxom and was not wearing much in the way of support... It was quite distracting and annoying at the same time.

She is a relatively new Christian, so I mentioned to the music director, who was kind of a mentor to her, that XXXX should support her "girls" more. She replied, "Well yes. XXX is rather excited at the idea of you being single." The idea that XXXX would do that intentionally had not dawned on me.



Then there was the lady from my Divorce Care class. It was well after the class sessions were over, and she was kind of a friend of a friend, so we kind of kept in contact. She didn't want a relationship or anything, but proposed that we "help each other out - - sexually." I declined. Sometimes, the carnal me kicks myself for this.



Some "friends" from church also revealed to me around this time that they had an "open" marriage and made me an offer that I could, and did, refuse. I also learned that they made the same "offer" to another church member (female) who was going through a divorce. I think I was more upset that their "recruitment" efforts focused on the emotionally vulnerable than their lack of concern for their marital covenant.


Soooooo.....yeah. Weird stuff happened to me too when I was recently separated. For a while, I was really concerned that I projected some sort of slutty vibe to people. Then I realized that that was blaming myself instead of them, and that I wasn't going to own any of their brand of crazy. [/QUOTE]



The other day this article from The Onion came up on my Facebook News feed, it said, "Couple surprised no on is as into their open marriage as they are."

For those of you who don't know, The Onion is satire, so none of it is real. That cracked me up. The idea of wife swapping is disgusting to me.

 

[gypsygirl]

honestly, i'm usually surprised when someone tells me they're interested in me. it's not that i don't think they might "like" me, it's that i talk myself out of it by listing all the reasons why they don't/shouldn't/makes no sense and then go with that. it's like my way of setting myself up for the best-case-scenario (when it's a good thing) and the unpleasant truth (when it's not).

actually, the guy who just might be most interested in me right now is 9 years old and goes to my church. every other week or so he asks me if i have a boyfriend. and occasionally asks if i'm married. a couple weeks ago, he gave me a package of gum. his mother tells me that he talks about me all the time at home.

oh, and he compliments my hair. or shoes, or dress. he's definitely going to be dangerous when he gets older. : )

while it's cute and all, it makes me wish life was more simple. and things were so much less complicated.

you know, like the romance of 9 year olds. : )

 

[kenthomas27]

...have you ever been completely taken by surprise by discovering somebody was interested in you? I don't mean that as in like, you didn't think anyone would be attracted to you- I'm talking about finding out someone you never would have suspected either admitting their attraction or asking you out. Basically just coming out of left field and dropping this bomb on you when you were completely preoccupied with life.

How did you deal with it? Was it funny, or kinda sad, or totally awkward?

Yes, I have. It was totally awkward. Looking back now, I think it's kind of funny. I was recently separated, feeling a lot of things you have been describing in your recent posts. One of the music people at church asked me if I would like to sing on the worship team for an upcoming Sunday. Now, I had played piano - solos, accompaniments and praise band stuff, and I had played french horn in the church orchestra, led the group, and even arranged a lot of their music, but I had never sung in church outside of joining the choir for an occasional a cappella number, so I wasn't up there twiddling my thumbs. Though I had no desire to sing really, I agreed, because art of me felt that in the emotional state I was in, going even MORE outside my comfort zone would be a good thing.

It was a large vocal ensemble, about 6-8 people. We were positioned in two arcs, each positioned around one microphone, like we were dueling motown groups or something. At the rehearsal, during a rather lively instrumental lead-in, the gal across from me starts getting into the music and jumping up and down. She is quite buxom and was not wearing much in the way of support... It was quite distracting and annoying at the same time.

She is a relatively new Christian, so I mentioned to the music director, who was kind of a mentor to her, that XXXX should support her "girls" more. She replied, "Well yes. XXX is rather excited at the idea of you being single." The idea that XXXX would do that intentionally had not dawned on me.



Then there was the lady from my Divorce Care class. It was well after the class sessions were over, and she was kind of a friend of a friend, so we kind of kept in contact. She didn't want a relationship or anything, but proposed that we "help each other out - - sexually." I declined. Sometimes, the carnal me kicks myself for this.



Some "friends" from church also revealed to me around this time that they had an "open" marriage and made me an offer that I could, and did, refuse. I also learned that they made the same "offer" to another church member (female) who was going through a divorce. I think I was more upset that their "recruitment" efforts focused on the emotionally vulnerable than their lack of concern for their marital covenant.


Soooooo.....yeah. Weird stuff happened to me too when I was recently separated. For a while, I was really concerned that I projected some sort of slutty vibe to people. Then I realized that that was blaming myself instead of them, and that I wasn't going to own any of their brand of crazy.

Can we hang out?

 

[persNickety]

The only unexpected admirer that I had (because all my other admirers had been expected... I kid lol XD), was when I was 7ish. After a horrible first week a day camp (consisting of having to wear garbage bag ponchos cus it was downpouring, being made fun of by girls in the swimming pool for some reason, and having a burnt, on fire marshmellow fall on my hand causing a bad burn). Last day, I was just about to get on the bus to go home, a boy came up to me, took my wrapped injured hand and kissed it.

 

[oldernotwiser]

well im 75 and just had a great compliment (i think) im in china and was sitting at an outside table at mcdonalds tonight. a smiling young woman walked past and i smiled at her. she came over to the table and asked where i was from. she is an english major at a beijing university. we talked for a while abut america, china and what she was studying when she asked me if i always flirted with young women (laughing.) i told her i was 75 and only flirted with the beautiful ones. she immediately said that she wasn't beautiful. i agreed and said that she was VERY pretty and only beautiful when she smiled. then she said that she was glad that i was 75 and not 25 because she was sure that if i was 25 it would mean trouble lol

 

[Fenner]

well im 75 and just had a great compliment (i think) im in china and was sitting at an outside table at mcdonalds tonight. a smiling young woman walked past and i smiled at her. she came over to the table and asked where i was from. she is an english major at a beijing university. we talked for a while abut america, china and what she was studying when she asked me if i always flirted with young women (laughing.) i told her i was 75 and only flirted with the beautiful ones. she immediately said that she wasn't beautiful. i agreed and said that she was VERY pretty and only beautiful when she smiled. then she said that she was glad that i was 75 and not 25 because she was sure that if i was 25 it would mean trouble lol

That's a great story Olderbutwiser, sounds like you made a new friend. Are you in China for vacation or do you live there?

 

[oldernotwiser]

i wanted to get into wife swapping with my ex wife but i couldnt get a decent pick up truck as an offer

 

[oldernotwiser]

ive been here for 8 years. got a lot of pics on here and more china stuff on Ron's Notes From China - Welcome

 

[Fenner]

Cool, I'll take a look at those. China is one place I've wanted to visit.