Proverbs35... One issue I see many times working with Christians is that we often take bible incidences and try to make a law or ordinance from it. God works with people in different ways and can often use different circumstances to reach us.
I agree. You mentioned the verse about a husband finding a wife. However, in the passage that I listed, Isaac (the husband) didn't find his wife. Abraham and Abraham's servant were the ones who actually went about finding God's choice for Isaac. We have at least 4 distinct, yet Biblical examples:
- Issac (the husband) didn't find God's choice for himself; other people found God's choice for for.
- He who finds a wife finds a good thing And obtains favor from the LORD. Pr 18:22 Therefore, it's entirely possible for a man to find God's choice for himself without the help of other people.
- Many Christians like to put an emphasis on the man finding a wife based on Pr 18:22 and male headship, etc. However, Boaz didn't find Ruth. Ruth found and approached Boaz.
- Here's a somewhat controversial example: Samson went down to Timnah and saw there a young Philistine woman. 2When he returned, he said to his father and mother, “I have seen a Philistine woman in Timnah; now get her for me as my wife.” 3His father and mother replied, “Isn’t there an acceptable woman among your relatives or among all our people? Must you go to the uncircumcised Philistines to get a wife?” But Samson said to his father, “Get her for me. She’s the right one for me.” 4(His parents did not know that this was from the Lord, who was seeking an occasion to confront the Philistines; for at that time they were ruling over Israel.) Judges 14
Those are 4 distinct, yet Biblically recorded ways in which people met and married their perspective spouses, so I agree with you. "God works with people in different ways and can often use different circumstances to reach" them. We can see that in the Bible.
He that "finds" a wife according to proverbs obtains favor from God. There is nothing we have that has not been given or provided to us from above. So, when you are attracted to a person; you are expected to seek clarification from God through prayer, just like we see in the scripture you quoted.
I agree.
Many people are in bondage today because someone is approaching them and they don't know how to say no because of fear that he/she might be the choice of God for them.
The key concern here would be "fear."
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 2 Tim 1:7
Therefore, if there is "fear" involved in the decision, that might be a really big red flag indicating that the person is not God's choice for you because "God doesn't give us the spirit of fear."
In-fact, many are struggling in their marriages because they were convinced that someone was God's choice for them.
True. I agree with that too. There are also people struggling in marriages because they chose their own mate rather than allowing God to chose and send them one.
And do I need to mention the ones waiting for God to give them a physical sign about someone?
When I made my initial comment, I was merely quoting scripture to show that there is such an example in the Bible. However, I didn't suggest that people should wait for God to give them a physical sign. I'm much more concerned with "fruit" than I am with physical signs. Does this potential spouse exercise the fruit of the spirit? And are they doing that consistently? IMO, the answers to those questions are much more telling than any physical sign could ever be.
My point is this, God will not force anybody on you- there is no single scripture that indicates such.
Like the old church folk used to say, "God is a gentleman, and he doesn't force himself on anyone." We are free will beings, and God has given us "choice." Therefore, God doesn't force anyone on us. Sometimes, people will force themselves on others, especially in regions where forced marriage is practiced, but that's man and not God.
There has to be something that draws you to a particular person just as can be seen in the scripture you quoted and you ask God to help you clarify. Abraham could have sat at home and waited for God to bring Isaac a wife, but he actually sent his servant with specific instructions on where to go "find" a wife for him.
I agree.