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F
No I don't think so. This is the thinking along the lines of extreme predestination. However I do believe that God does choose certain people to be together but not as a general rule. I do believe in the sovereignty of God but I'm not sure how far this extends into our lives. I don't think God is really concerned with every single little detail of our life such as for example how much milk we put in our coffee.
If you find somebody you like just pray about it. God works in mysterious ways. We do have free choice but some things should be commended to God.
If you find somebody you like just pray about it. God works in mysterious ways. We do have free choice but some things should be commended to God.
M
This is the exact question I have been asking my self for four years! I'm so lost on how to answer it. I know we all have free will so does that mean we choose for ourselves? I feel when we start to lose God in our lives we tend to choose the wrong people for ourselves but when God comes before all and is number one in our lives then he directs us to people we belong with. Wether it's a romantic partner or friendly companionship.
B
Well, remember the saying, "Birds of the same feather flock together."?
If God were joining people on a one-to-one basis, then all "Christian" marriages would never sever in divorce court; these marriages would linger on "till death do us apart." But that's not what happens in real life.
Nonetheless, people of the same faith, and especially of the same strength in practicing their faith tend to gravitate together. It's among that population of saints that the Holy Spirit of God does bring a man and a woman together in holy marriage.
If God were joining people on a one-to-one basis, then all "Christian" marriages would never sever in divorce court; these marriages would linger on "till death do us apart." But that's not what happens in real life.
Nonetheless, people of the same faith, and especially of the same strength in practicing their faith tend to gravitate together. It's among that population of saints that the Holy Spirit of God does bring a man and a woman together in holy marriage.
L
I kinda had that fear and torment too. I kept seeing Christian guys that people said I would be good with, but I never felt attracted to them, and they acted like they didn't really like me.
i asked God about this, and the answer I slowly got was... That I was going to be attracted to them, I would like them,
because God knew me, he made me to be the person I am with the likes and dislikes, and just to trust him and wait.
That he would bring the right Christian man, and I would know.
Now waiting isn't easy with the pressures to hurry and shackle yourself to someone.
So what I'm saying is that if you trust God, and ask him for that person, he will bring them into your life.
I think you should spend time in Gods presence and that fear and anxiety will go. He's not going to give you someone you don't want. He wants you happy not miserable. He might try to protect you from the ones who would cause you harm and to be miserable, because he loves and wants what's best for you.
that reminds me...I need to spend time with God myself.
i asked God about this, and the answer I slowly got was... That I was going to be attracted to them, I would like them,
because God knew me, he made me to be the person I am with the likes and dislikes, and just to trust him and wait.
That he would bring the right Christian man, and I would know.
Now waiting isn't easy with the pressures to hurry and shackle yourself to someone.
So what I'm saying is that if you trust God, and ask him for that person, he will bring them into your life.
I think you should spend time in Gods presence and that fear and anxiety will go. He's not going to give you someone you don't want. He wants you happy not miserable. He might try to protect you from the ones who would cause you harm and to be miserable, because he loves and wants what's best for you.
that reminds me...I need to spend time with God myself.
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I feel that if God chose every spouse - even someone we didn't like but he wanted us to marry - then there would be more evidence of it in Scripture. We are commanded to be equally yoked. There are references to people praying for guidance on choosing a spouse, but for the most part it appears that within those guidelines the choice (and freedom) is ours.
Love isn't a magic formula, where if one ingredient isn't correct the potion won't work. It's a decision. Your job is to choose someone that you get along well with, and commit to loving them as well as you are able.
Love isn't a magic formula, where if one ingredient isn't correct the potion won't work. It's a decision. Your job is to choose someone that you get along well with, and commit to loving them as well as you are able.
C
I am convinced that God is very interested in our lives even in the smaller details. More so interested that we get to fulfill his purpose for us. However, I am so equally convinced that He does not FORCE anyone on you. I lived through this fear for a long time, because of the error I was taught. God knows what you like and He wont hang someone you don't want to live with on your neck. They did same to my friend and told him God revealed someone to be the wife and he got divorced just 6 months after the wedding. If you want to get more advice on this, I encourage you to watch these videos:
6 Reasons you are still single and How to find your best fit PART 2 - YouTube
6 Reasons you are still single and How to find your best fit PART 1 - YouTube
6 Reasons you are still single and How to find your best fit PART 2 - YouTube
6 Reasons you are still single and How to find your best fit PART 1 - YouTube
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God chose Rebekah for Isaac:
12Then he prayed, “Lord, God of my master Abraham, make me successful today, and show kindness to my master Abraham. 13See, I am standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water. 14May it be that when I say to a young woman, ‘Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I’ll water your camels too’—let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.” Read full account in Genesis 24.
Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD. Proverbs 19:14
God can choose a spouse for us, if we let him. One of the keys to letting and allowing God to choose a spouse for us is prayer. If more people allowed God to choose a spouse for them, the divorce rate probably wouldn't be as high. Choosing a spouse for yourself rather than asking and allowing God to do it could be one of the worst decisions a person could ever make.
12Then he prayed, “Lord, God of my master Abraham, make me successful today, and show kindness to my master Abraham. 13See, I am standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water. 14May it be that when I say to a young woman, ‘Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I’ll water your camels too’—let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.” Read full account in Genesis 24.
Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD. Proverbs 19:14
God can choose a spouse for us, if we let him. One of the keys to letting and allowing God to choose a spouse for us is prayer. If more people allowed God to choose a spouse for them, the divorce rate probably wouldn't be as high. Choosing a spouse for yourself rather than asking and allowing God to do it could be one of the worst decisions a person could ever make.
C
Proverbs35... One issue I see many times working with Christians is that we often take bible incidences and try to make a law or ordinance from it. God works with people in different ways and can often use different circumstances to reach us. It is when we try to force one example out of many others as rules that we end up putting people in bondage. Like I was put in for many years.
He that "finds" a wife according to proverbs obtains favor from God. There is nothing we have that has not been given or provided to us from above. So, when you are attracted to a person; you are expected to seek clarification from God through prayer, just like we see in the scripture you quoted.
Many people are in bondage today because someone is approaching them and they don't know how to say no because of fear that he/she might be the choice of God for them. In-fact, many are struggling in their marriages because they were convinced that someone was God's choice for them. And do I need to mention the ones waiting for God to give them a physical sign about someone?
My point is this, God will not force anybody on you- there is no single scripture that indicates such. There has to be something that draws you to a particular person just as can be seen in the scripture you quoted and you ask God to help you clarify. Abraham could have sat at home and waited for God to bring Isaac a wife, but he actually sent his servant with specific instructions on where to go "find" a wife for him.
He that "finds" a wife according to proverbs obtains favor from God. There is nothing we have that has not been given or provided to us from above. So, when you are attracted to a person; you are expected to seek clarification from God through prayer, just like we see in the scripture you quoted.
Many people are in bondage today because someone is approaching them and they don't know how to say no because of fear that he/she might be the choice of God for them. In-fact, many are struggling in their marriages because they were convinced that someone was God's choice for them. And do I need to mention the ones waiting for God to give them a physical sign about someone?
My point is this, God will not force anybody on you- there is no single scripture that indicates such. There has to be something that draws you to a particular person just as can be seen in the scripture you quoted and you ask God to help you clarify. Abraham could have sat at home and waited for God to bring Isaac a wife, but he actually sent his servant with specific instructions on where to go "find" a wife for him.
I agree. You mentioned the verse about a husband finding a wife. However, in the passage that I listed, Isaac (the husband) didn't find his wife. Abraham and Abraham's servant were the ones who actually went about finding God's choice for Isaac. We have at least 4 distinct, yet Biblical examples:
Those are 4 distinct, yet Biblically recorded ways in which people met and married their perspective spouses, so I agree with you. "God works with people in different ways and can often use different circumstances to reach" them. We can see that in the Bible.
I agree.
The key concern here would be "fear."
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 2 Tim 1:7
Therefore, if there is "fear" involved in the decision, that might be a really big red flag indicating that the person is not God's choice for you because "God doesn't give us the spirit of fear."
True. I agree with that too. There are also people struggling in marriages because they chose their own mate rather than allowing God to chose and send them one.
When I made my initial comment, I was merely quoting scripture to show that there is such an example in the Bible. However, I didn't suggest that people should wait for God to give them a physical sign. I'm much more concerned with "fruit" than I am with physical signs. Does this potential spouse exercise the fruit of the spirit? And are they doing that consistently? IMO, the answers to those questions are much more telling than any physical sign could ever be.
Like the old church folk used to say, "God is a gentleman, and he doesn't force himself on anyone." We are free will beings, and God has given us "choice." Therefore, God doesn't force anyone on us. Sometimes, people will force themselves on others, especially in regions where forced marriage is practiced, but that's man and not God.
I agree.
- Issac (the husband) didn't find God's choice for himself; other people found God's choice for for.
- He who finds a wife finds a good thing And obtains favor from the LORD. Pr 18:22 Therefore, it's entirely possible for a man to find God's choice for himself without the help of other people.
- Many Christians like to put an emphasis on the man finding a wife based on Pr 18:22 and male headship, etc. However, Boaz didn't find Ruth. Ruth found and approached Boaz.
- Here's a somewhat controversial example: Samson went down to Timnah and saw there a young Philistine woman. 2When he returned, he said to his father and mother, “I have seen a Philistine woman in Timnah; now get her for me as my wife.” 3His father and mother replied, “Isn’t there an acceptable woman among your relatives or among all our people? Must you go to the uncircumcised Philistines to get a wife?” But Samson said to his father, “Get her for me. She’s the right one for me.” 4(His parents did not know that this was from the Lord, who was seeking an occasion to confront the Philistines; for at that time they were ruling over Israel.) Judges 14
Those are 4 distinct, yet Biblically recorded ways in which people met and married their perspective spouses, so I agree with you. "God works with people in different ways and can often use different circumstances to reach" them. We can see that in the Bible.
I agree.
The key concern here would be "fear."
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 2 Tim 1:7
Therefore, if there is "fear" involved in the decision, that might be a really big red flag indicating that the person is not God's choice for you because "God doesn't give us the spirit of fear."
True. I agree with that too. There are also people struggling in marriages because they chose their own mate rather than allowing God to chose and send them one.
When I made my initial comment, I was merely quoting scripture to show that there is such an example in the Bible. However, I didn't suggest that people should wait for God to give them a physical sign. I'm much more concerned with "fruit" than I am with physical signs. Does this potential spouse exercise the fruit of the spirit? And are they doing that consistently? IMO, the answers to those questions are much more telling than any physical sign could ever be.
Like the old church folk used to say, "God is a gentleman, and he doesn't force himself on anyone." We are free will beings, and God has given us "choice." Therefore, God doesn't force anyone on us. Sometimes, people will force themselves on others, especially in regions where forced marriage is practiced, but that's man and not God.
I agree.
C
Jen39.... Don't be confused. Like you rightly pointed out, God gives us the desires of our heart. In the real world, there are two key ways people meet their spouse; either by recommendation through social/family circles or by proximity. Infact, that was the case in all the scriptures quoted by proverbs39. Hadly do people meet their spouse through some mysterious and unexplainable encounters. God uses the things around us to reach us. But many Christians like to sound too spiritual that it confuses many and actually puts them in bondage. There are many people who are not Christians and don't pray, and still they have good marriages.
The issue I was trying to point out with this post is that we are different, and God has individual plans for us; therefore, He can chose to answer your prayer for a spouse through different ways. You are permitted to make a decision on who to accept as a life partner with God's help.
The issue I was trying to point out with this post is that we are different, and God has individual plans for us; therefore, He can chose to answer your prayer for a spouse through different ways. You are permitted to make a decision on who to accept as a life partner with God's help.
C
The fact I was trying to point out to you is that there is no single example anywhere in the Bible, where God told anyone, you should marry X because I God have chosen X for you. Or go to so and so place, and you will see such and such, take them as your wife for I have chosen them for you.
In the real world, there are two key ways people meet their spouse; either by recommendation through social/family circles or by proximity and God works in all ways to make it possible for us. This is evident in all the scriptures you quoted, God WORKED THROUGH PEOPLE.
In the real world, there are two key ways people meet their spouse; either by recommendation through social/family circles or by proximity and God works in all ways to make it possible for us. This is evident in all the scriptures you quoted, God WORKED THROUGH PEOPLE.
Oh dear. Have read all of this and now I'm confused. I'm 39 & still holding out for my Boaz. I believe God grants us the desires of our hearts ( for those who love him).
What should I do ? Should I be out searching for my Boaz ??)
What should I do ? Should I be out searching for my Boaz ??
)
As a member here, you'll probably read a lot of stuff. However, like anything else, you can't digest or be moved by everything you read.As Christians our guidepost and measuring stick should always be the word of God. Be skeptical about believing anything that can't be supported by the word of God.
Long story short, the original title question of this thread is - Does God choose your spouse? The Bible clearly states and illustrates that God chose Rebekah for Isaac. Therefore, it's possible for God to choose a spouse for us.
In another comment, I referenced Ruth and Boaz. Ruth was the initiator in that relationship, but it's important to understand why. With that being said, I'll point you to an excellent article written by elder Scott Croft of Focus on the Family. He explains why it's important for a man to be the "initiator" and talks in-depth about Ruth and Boaz. I surely hope that you find Scott's article helpful, and that it clears up any confusion you may have.
Why do I as a man have to do the initiating?
Friendship in God's Family
F
Well proverbs35 I found this interesting from the first link
Most guys I know can't tell [when a girl is interested] either, but girls have said (without elaborating) "it's so obvious."
I've never known whether a girl is interested or not. I've had a lot of mixed messages so it wasn't immediately or retrospectively obvious. I no longer have the desire for marriage but it was interesting from a historical perspective.
Most guys I know can't tell [when a girl is interested] either, but girls have said (without elaborating) "it's so obvious."
I've never known whether a girl is interested or not. I've had a lot of mixed messages so it wasn't immediately or retrospectively obvious. I no longer have the desire for marriage but it was interesting from a historical perspective.
My case is not anxiety, but uncertainty... The one I married could have been the one He chose, but i piled too much faults and mistakes. Our 1st son is now 20. The more I see him the proudest I think I am and, of course, he is what he is for his mother. I´m planning to go back to the university WITH HIM just to spur his unwillingness to keep it.
If I spoiled it that BAD, He surely knew I needed a lesson through many things I have experience (or those I´m pending to endure or undergo).
Whatever it comes, no way to regrets or turning back.
If I spoiled it that BAD, He surely knew I needed a lesson through many things I have experience (or those I´m pending to endure or undergo).
Whatever it comes, no way to regrets or turning back.
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