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W
Concerning Pipp's post about the conversation that occurred last night that should not have happened at all. It's not right and especially in a Christian chatroom I would have expected more grace and kindness. Weight is always a touchy issue whether you are a size 1 or a size 10. I'll share a personal experience.
I've always been a size 00. Am I happy with it? NO. People always pick on me asking why I'm so skinny... little do they know I've tried to gain weight for many years. I've tried everything that I know of including special diets and protein drinks. Little do they know when they come at me with comments like that it leaves me shuddering for a corner. Little do they know I've always looked at other women and feel inferior, felt as if I can never measure up to those curves.
So yeah, a person's weight should be their personal issue and it's wrong to make comments that would make other people feel bad about themselves. As Ian Maclaren once said "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."
I've always been a size 00. Am I happy with it? NO. People always pick on me asking why I'm so skinny... little do they know I've tried to gain weight for many years. I've tried everything that I know of including special diets and protein drinks. Little do they know when they come at me with comments like that it leaves me shuddering for a corner. Little do they know I've always looked at other women and feel inferior, felt as if I can never measure up to those curves.
So yeah, a person's weight should be their personal issue and it's wrong to make comments that would make other people feel bad about themselves. As Ian Maclaren once said "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."
I
Reason # 782 why I've drifted away from singles chat over the past month. Some of the inane conversations that take place there have been not only rude but have bordered on sexist,stereotypical,broad generalizations.and sometimes just plain ignorant. I understand people many times have no ill will or guile behind what they are saying & they mean it only to be silly. (Lord knows I've said hurtful stuff before w/out meaning to)
I'm just glad I wasn't there for this one,because not only would have I had a chance to take offense to this but prob gotten banned for using a few choice words openly.
I can tell you this...
As someone who has been fat his ENTIRE life (and not due,mind you to laying around & eating 24/7 or any sort of lack of activity in his lifetime) I have always dated (and even married) attractive women. I'm not saying this to boast at all! I'm saying this because I've never had tons of money,and material wealth. I'll be perfectly honest. I always look at any women a bit strange when they do find me attractive,and I can't explain how I've manage to have as many attractive women in my lifetime tell me that they find me handsome or had a crush on me at one point.
I dismiss much of their fondness for me due to the fact that maybe they enjoy my humor or banter...my knowledge of certain things,or even my attitude. I am always shocked to find out when a woman finds me physically attractive,but it's happened. Happened with women who haven't even gotten to know me by any of the previously described attributes. To think any woman would find me physically attractive seems a bit silly. Even I have thought - "This woman must be crazy or have some odd fetish,how can she be into me? She could have anyone!"
It's been God that I have always had to in the end have as my foundation for feeling loved & accepted. Period.
I have had friends over the years even say..."It's a good thing you're not thin,because you'd be impossible to be around..you'd have a unreal ego & you'd get all the chicks."
I'm not saying that God allowed me to be fat to keep me humble,but I've been to doctor's off & on since I was 4 years old,and medically they have never been able to determine why I cannot lose weight like most average people can. I have to do (not exaggerating here) 5 x's what a normal person would have to do to lose 10 lbs,and it would more than likely take twice the time to see those results. One doctor said.."It's just genetics,I'm afraid. Some people burn fat at a much slower rate than other's."
I've been tested for diabetes a zillion times..NOTHING. My cholesterol levels are so perfectly balanced that it has angered various nursing staff who are "physically fit looking people" that struggle to maintain a good level themselves. Even my blood pressure,which in the past 5 years seems to spike up really high at times for no good reason,isn't something the doctors even feel is worthy of prescribing medication for. (and we all know how doctors love to give you pills for anything @ the drop of a hat)
So,I am sharing all this with you people...why? Many of you who "know me" know that I'm fat. It was really only an emotional issue for me when I was K-8th grade. I was often told as a small child that it was wrong for me to fight back or defend myself because I was "bigger" than them & could hurt someone.
I have heard every fat joke known to mankind growing up. It hurt terribly when I was a child. I knew I was fat. I knew it meant that I was not worthy of all the happiness thin people were born with. I had to develop a way to cope.
Before I had Christ I did. I learned by age 14 to develop a thick skin...develop my humor (mostly self-deprecating). My motto was: Strike Fast-Strike Hard. Make fun of yourself before other's do. I would often address the elephant in the room. Make fat jokes about myself that were incredibly hilarious,and bizzare...thus somehow putting other's at ease with my appearance.
I also discovered Heavy Metal music. I now had an outlet for my pain. Words & a pulse that I could channel my energy & hidden sadness & anger through. It truly made me feel invincible. It was my armor. But much like the dragon Smaug in The Hobbit,I had a chink in my armor,and that chink was self & lack of knowing who I was in Christ.
I fashioned a pretty good defense mechanism for myself. So good in fact,that while many of those peers of mine who flourished in all their thinness back in grade school,now in high school were utter outcasts,or not considered as attractive. They were little fish in a huge pond. I had somehow transformed my image into this long haired, Heavy Metal,drum playing,sarcastic,rapier witted tongue monster who now had more friends than he knew what to do with.
I didn't suffer the terrible high school nightmares that most teens go through. I was loved by every click/pocket of teen in a school of well over 7 thousand teens. Jocks,Hippies,Preppies,Urban Rappers,Metalheads,Geeks..you name it.I had friends from every type group.
I'm kinda going off on a bit of a tangent here,and this is turning into a ridiculous post...but it's streams,and you can always just move along if yer' bored,right?
Getting back to present day me...
I've learned through God that I'm worth something far greater than if I am or if I am not handsome. That I don't have to rely on sarcasm & jokes to get a woman to like me. If a person wants to look at me & be disgusted by my appearance,judge me w/out knowing me...that's fine. Chances are,that person isn't really worth my time & energy anyways. There have been many female members on this site who have openly expressed that a fat guy is a deal breaker for them. That's cool. I appreciate someone's honesty. I think where I get a bit annoyed is more the spirit or attitude behind it.
A persons looks really are in the eyes of the beholder. I can't begin to tell you how many men & women look at me like I'm crazy for not thinking so & so actress isn't drop dead gorgeous. Maybe I have strange tastes..I dunno. I like heavier women. I joke and say,"Unfortunately I rarely get to date one!" I like a woman who is curvy..thick..as Misty77 would say:"FLUFFY"..to which I yell at her & say..."Just call yer'self FAT...embrace it..don't try to whitewash it!" LOL
I detest how women are viewed too. The notion that a woman has to be a size 1 or else she's considered morbidly obese by Hollywood is insane! I'm not bashing women (or men) who are thin. People are cruel to those who struggle with not being able to put on weight as well.
I've rambled on about all of this because,I don't think I've really ever shared much of this openly before. I guess I'd like to encourage any of my fat brother's (& sisters) out there. There are in fact women who are smokin' hot that will like you/love you for you and not for what you can give them financially. I'm living proof of this. Don't lose heart,but most of all let the words of Christ dwell in you of what yer' value & true meaning in life are.
I'm just glad I wasn't there for this one,because not only would have I had a chance to take offense to this but prob gotten banned for using a few choice words openly.
I can tell you this...
As someone who has been fat his ENTIRE life (and not due,mind you to laying around & eating 24/7 or any sort of lack of activity in his lifetime) I have always dated (and even married) attractive women. I'm not saying this to boast at all! I'm saying this because I've never had tons of money,and material wealth. I'll be perfectly honest. I always look at any women a bit strange when they do find me attractive,and I can't explain how I've manage to have as many attractive women in my lifetime tell me that they find me handsome or had a crush on me at one point.
I dismiss much of their fondness for me due to the fact that maybe they enjoy my humor or banter...my knowledge of certain things,or even my attitude. I am always shocked to find out when a woman finds me physically attractive,but it's happened. Happened with women who haven't even gotten to know me by any of the previously described attributes. To think any woman would find me physically attractive seems a bit silly. Even I have thought - "This woman must be crazy or have some odd fetish,how can she be into me? She could have anyone!"
It's been God that I have always had to in the end have as my foundation for feeling loved & accepted. Period.
I have had friends over the years even say..."It's a good thing you're not thin,because you'd be impossible to be around..you'd have a unreal ego & you'd get all the chicks."
I'm not saying that God allowed me to be fat to keep me humble,but I've been to doctor's off & on since I was 4 years old,and medically they have never been able to determine why I cannot lose weight like most average people can. I have to do (not exaggerating here) 5 x's what a normal person would have to do to lose 10 lbs,and it would more than likely take twice the time to see those results. One doctor said.."It's just genetics,I'm afraid. Some people burn fat at a much slower rate than other's."
I've been tested for diabetes a zillion times..NOTHING. My cholesterol levels are so perfectly balanced that it has angered various nursing staff who are "physically fit looking people" that struggle to maintain a good level themselves. Even my blood pressure,which in the past 5 years seems to spike up really high at times for no good reason,isn't something the doctors even feel is worthy of prescribing medication for. (and we all know how doctors love to give you pills for anything @ the drop of a hat)
So,I am sharing all this with you people...why? Many of you who "know me" know that I'm fat. It was really only an emotional issue for me when I was K-8th grade. I was often told as a small child that it was wrong for me to fight back or defend myself because I was "bigger" than them & could hurt someone.
I have heard every fat joke known to mankind growing up. It hurt terribly when I was a child. I knew I was fat. I knew it meant that I was not worthy of all the happiness thin people were born with. I had to develop a way to cope.
Before I had Christ I did. I learned by age 14 to develop a thick skin...develop my humor (mostly self-deprecating). My motto was: Strike Fast-Strike Hard. Make fun of yourself before other's do. I would often address the elephant in the room. Make fat jokes about myself that were incredibly hilarious,and bizzare...thus somehow putting other's at ease with my appearance.
I also discovered Heavy Metal music. I now had an outlet for my pain. Words & a pulse that I could channel my energy & hidden sadness & anger through. It truly made me feel invincible. It was my armor. But much like the dragon Smaug in The Hobbit,I had a chink in my armor,and that chink was self & lack of knowing who I was in Christ.
I fashioned a pretty good defense mechanism for myself. So good in fact,that while many of those peers of mine who flourished in all their thinness back in grade school,now in high school were utter outcasts,or not considered as attractive. They were little fish in a huge pond. I had somehow transformed my image into this long haired, Heavy Metal,drum playing,sarcastic,rapier witted tongue monster who now had more friends than he knew what to do with.
I didn't suffer the terrible high school nightmares that most teens go through. I was loved by every click/pocket of teen in a school of well over 7 thousand teens. Jocks,Hippies,Preppies,Urban Rappers,Metalheads,Geeks..you name it.I had friends from every type group.
I'm kinda going off on a bit of a tangent here,and this is turning into a ridiculous post...but it's streams,and you can always just move along if yer' bored,right?
Getting back to present day me...
I've learned through God that I'm worth something far greater than if I am or if I am not handsome. That I don't have to rely on sarcasm & jokes to get a woman to like me. If a person wants to look at me & be disgusted by my appearance,judge me w/out knowing me...that's fine. Chances are,that person isn't really worth my time & energy anyways. There have been many female members on this site who have openly expressed that a fat guy is a deal breaker for them. That's cool. I appreciate someone's honesty. I think where I get a bit annoyed is more the spirit or attitude behind it.
A persons looks really are in the eyes of the beholder. I can't begin to tell you how many men & women look at me like I'm crazy for not thinking so & so actress isn't drop dead gorgeous. Maybe I have strange tastes..I dunno. I like heavier women. I joke and say,"Unfortunately I rarely get to date one!" I like a woman who is curvy..thick..as Misty77 would say:"FLUFFY"..to which I yell at her & say..."Just call yer'self FAT...embrace it..don't try to whitewash it!" LOL
I detest how women are viewed too. The notion that a woman has to be a size 1 or else she's considered morbidly obese by Hollywood is insane! I'm not bashing women (or men) who are thin. People are cruel to those who struggle with not being able to put on weight as well.
I've rambled on about all of this because,I don't think I've really ever shared much of this openly before. I guess I'd like to encourage any of my fat brother's (& sisters) out there. There are in fact women who are smokin' hot that will like you/love you for you and not for what you can give them financially. I'm living proof of this. Don't lose heart,but most of all let the words of Christ dwell in you of what yer' value & true meaning in life are.
How true. People can be very insensitive at times because they do not know how to deal with their own personal insecurities. They need prayer and a healthy dose of love to develop a more sensitive nature towards others or they will never be happy or find peace in their own lives. The Christian chat room is in name only. I rarely hang out there for it can be a hostile environment and at times, caustic.
if i think correctly in this, who made this disabled person, and since it is God, is this person truly disabled?
Something to think upon, that we the normal people might really be the disabled ones in need of?
I just remember a time, when a pastors wife had a deformed child and the nurse got on the phone and was making mockery of it.
I thought who is the disabled one?
Something to think upon, that we the normal people might really be the disabled ones in need of?
I just remember a time, when a pastors wife had a deformed child and the nurse got on the phone and was making mockery of it.
I thought who is the disabled one?
M
I don't know what my problem is lately, but every time I have to talk to my step-dad on the phone, I end up snapping at him.
I mean, yeah, he's purposely difficult...it's like the Inquisition every time I call there and he answers:
"So have you done anything useful today?"
"Why not?"
"Are you going to get your kids vaccinated?"
"Why would you do that?"
"Are you ever going to make something of yourself?"
...I used to be able to ignore it. Now I play right into it and let him get to me. He thinks it's funny. I think he needs a swift kick in the butt. My mom thinks he's just crazy.
Today's questions all centered around my lack of skills needed to start the single parents' group.
*sigh*
Must. Stop. Letting. People. Push. My. Buttons.
I mean, yeah, he's purposely difficult...it's like the Inquisition every time I call there and he answers:
"So have you done anything useful today?"
"Why not?"
"Are you going to get your kids vaccinated?"
"Why would you do that?"
"Are you ever going to make something of yourself?"
...I used to be able to ignore it. Now I play right into it and let him get to me. He thinks it's funny. I think he needs a swift kick in the butt. My mom thinks he's just crazy.
Today's questions all centered around my lack of skills needed to start the single parents' group.
*sigh*
Must. Stop. Letting. People. Push. My. Buttons.
Thanks Markum, that was a good mark from you by god to me
For God by society today is said to be first Family second and Job third?
Well today i see it as why not have God as our life period, no matter where we are?
So God then is not categorized as first, and others second and third
If God is our life, then God is above all others and materialistic things right?
For God by society today is said to be first Family second and Job third?
Well today i see it as why not have God as our life period, no matter where we are?
So God then is not categorized as first, and others second and third
If God is our life, then God is above all others and materialistic things right?