-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
R
You say she is spiritually good for you, yet makes these accusations against you... I see a similar relationship to that almost on a daily basis... If you continue in this relationship and she does not change her accusatory habits (which she probably won't), one day, the burden of the accusations will outweigh the spiritual benefits... And I really do not like the fact that she discourages you from sharing your testimony with others. We are to sing out and shout out the wonderful things God has done in our lives, not quietly keep it to ourselves. And as you mentioned, those who hear your story benefit from it. That is the point of sharing testimonies. Good luck and God bless. 
Hi, Mr Bassist!
One more thing I was reminded:
I have two friends married. These are 60 and 70 years old (Next Oct). The wife told me how they met,the reason they met and how it was the courtship process and almost everything she could say that night (her husband was somewhere around and didn't came in).
These have been "close" friends for several years and LATELY I see and hear how she treats him and humiliate him in front of me (I have planned to stay away, because I have seen his embarrassment and frustration to "help" her change).
She laughs at him (in front of me), she criticized him more than usual and, privately I have talked to him to "see" how he feels. I know he loves her (otherwise, being like me, he would have left all).
Her issues against him are linked to money, his lack on being crafty in getting things repaired (that's why I'm often called in to get broken things fixed) and the tendency he has to work things he own way (and timing).
The more I see her shouting and trying to control things, the more I see him frustrated when he had no control to stop her claims, the more I consider to leave them alone in troubleshooting their issues.
One more thing I was reminded:
I have two friends married. These are 60 and 70 years old (Next Oct). The wife told me how they met,the reason they met and how it was the courtship process and almost everything she could say that night (her husband was somewhere around and didn't came in).
These have been "close" friends for several years and LATELY I see and hear how she treats him and humiliate him in front of me (I have planned to stay away, because I have seen his embarrassment and frustration to "help" her change).
She laughs at him (in front of me), she criticized him more than usual and, privately I have talked to him to "see" how he feels. I know he loves her (otherwise, being like me, he would have left all).
Her issues against him are linked to money, his lack on being crafty in getting things repaired (that's why I'm often called in to get broken things fixed) and the tendency he has to work things he own way (and timing).
The more I see her shouting and trying to control things, the more I see him frustrated when he had no control to stop her claims, the more I consider to leave them alone in troubleshooting their issues.
Last edited:
To tag onto what Gypsy said, I wonder if you're putting her on a pedestal is what's possibly causing her to be insecure? You say she is perfect, but the fact that she's human she's not. And how she's treating you is far from perfect. I wonder if possibly she feels that if you "knew" she wasn't perfect you would despise her and that might be why she's treating you this was, to distract you from her fears and failures.
S
Thank you, Raine. Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I know that I have been praying and should continue to pray even more as I believed that she was an answer to prayer. I know that you are correct regarding shouting all of the great things God has done in our lives. don't hide it under a bushel, right? God bless you.
People suffer too much because of love, and one of the reasons is an incapacity to determine when somebody is good for them, when somebody is good for their life, and when they are not. Identifying in time, and on sufficient grounds, if the person we are falling in love with is good for us or not, if he or she is compatible with our principles and goals, is an essential skill for approaching romantic life with any hope of success. Healthy love is the sum of two parts where neither party is consumed by the other. Emotional dependency is a sickness that can be cured and, even more importantly, prevented.
I was going to say to show her your post and see how she reacts, but I see that Gypsygirl has beaten me to it! :O
I'm going to guess that you're communicating more clearly with us, complete strangers, than you are with her because you're so invested in her. You're able to tell us exactly what the problem is, and exactly what you're feeling, because you're not worried about how we'll react. That's why it might help to give her those same words that you gave us, as a bunch of impartial strangers.
I'm going to guess that you're communicating more clearly with us, complete strangers, than you are with her because you're so invested in her. You're able to tell us exactly what the problem is, and exactly what you're feeling, because you're not worried about how we'll react. That's why it might help to give her those same words that you gave us, as a bunch of impartial strangers.
S
I see what you are saying, but I have been honest with her about the way I feel when she attacks me, but she believes (In her lightly twisted mind) that I am to blame.
An example of this is the situation a few nights ago which I described in my post - I had just returned from a rehearsal ((With a secular band and I had turned down a gig with them which she knew I was thinking about (Telling them) doing)) and had told her how happy was to see her and to I talk to be there with her, etc. And the next thing I knew, she was telling me how I talk too much and how I shouldn't have opened up to tell the praise team about my past (Mind you, this happened a month or two ago and she has brought it up more than once since then), and she was just getting on my case.
That was when I started telling her that instead of condemning me, she should pray for me and she told me that "her prayers are wasted on me."
I don't get it...
An example of this is the situation a few nights ago which I described in my post - I had just returned from a rehearsal ((With a secular band and I had turned down a gig with them which she knew I was thinking about (Telling them) doing)) and had told her how happy was to see her and to I talk to be there with her, etc. And the next thing I knew, she was telling me how I talk too much and how I shouldn't have opened up to tell the praise team about my past (Mind you, this happened a month or two ago and she has brought it up more than once since then), and she was just getting on my case.
That was when I started telling her that instead of condemning me, she should pray for me and she told me that "her prayers are wasted on me."
I don't get it...
[h=1]Matthew 7:15-20King James Version (KJV)[/h][SUP]15 [/SUP]Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.
[SUP]16 [/SUP]Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?
[SUP]17 [/SUP]Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.
[SUP]18 [/SUP]A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.
[SUP]19 [/SUP]Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.
[SUP]20 [/SUP]Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.
_____________________________________
Observe her fruit. Does she reflect Christ Jesus in how she speaks, thinks, acts, etc.? Not everyone who says "Lord, Lord" shall be saved.
_____________________________________
[h=1]Matthew 7:21-23Authorized (King James) Version (AKJV)[/h][SUP]21 [/SUP]Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. [SUP]22 [/SUP]Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? [SUP]23 [/SUP]And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.
[h=1]1 John 2:3Authorized (King James) Version (AKJV)[/h][SUP]3 [/SUP]And hereby we do know that we know him, if we keep his commandments.
[h=1]Luke 9:35Authorized (King James) Version (AKJV)[/h][SUP]35 [/SUP]And there came a voice out of the cloud, saying, This is my beloved Son: hear him.
[SUP]16 [/SUP]Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?
[SUP]17 [/SUP]Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.
[SUP]18 [/SUP]A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.
[SUP]19 [/SUP]Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.
[SUP]20 [/SUP]Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.
_____________________________________
Observe her fruit. Does she reflect Christ Jesus in how she speaks, thinks, acts, etc.? Not everyone who says "Lord, Lord" shall be saved.
_____________________________________
[h=1]Matthew 7:21-23Authorized (King James) Version (AKJV)[/h][SUP]21 [/SUP]Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. [SUP]22 [/SUP]Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? [SUP]23 [/SUP]And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.
[h=1]1 John 2:3Authorized (King James) Version (AKJV)[/h][SUP]3 [/SUP]And hereby we do know that we know him, if we keep his commandments.
[h=1]Luke 9:35Authorized (King James) Version (AKJV)[/h][SUP]35 [/SUP]And there came a voice out of the cloud, saying, This is my beloved Son: hear him.