Wife gets an abortion

[hopefulromantic]

This is strictly hypothetical, but based on the views/responses of men and women to recent political articles.

As a Christian, I feel that divorce is not an option in marriage, except in circumstances where there is physical/emotional abuse. It is my belief that most any other issue can be worked through if both partners are willing to work together and live out their faith.
But I've been seeing a number of men/women take the view that abortion is solely a woman's decision, and that even her husband should have no say in it, and that she doesn't even need to inform him of it. I pray that I will never be faced with such a situation myself, especially if I marry a true Christian woman, but it got me thinking about how I would feel in such a situation.

Is divorce, not just an option but an acceptable one - and perhaps the only one - if a woman were to do this to her husband? We need to forgive, but how can a husband reconcile with a wife that shows a blatant disregard and disrespect for their husband?

 

[amymine712]

I would be more worried about her blatant disregard for a life that God created. In my book, abortion is murder. How could you continue to live with someone who has no regard for life?

 

[presidente]

I'd say it would be really similar to a situation where a husband decides a newborn baby is not fit to live and kills the baby, then the wife has to deal with the emotions, forgiving her husband, and all that stuff.

I hear in ancient Rome, the head of the house had power of life or death over household members. If a newborn baby was deformed, he might decree that it be exposed so that it die. We all hear that and it is brutal. But our government gives a similar 'power' to women to murder babies in the womb.

 

[Raine]

I love your perspective. Such a great point. The child belongs to the man just as much as it does to the woman.

I could never imagine aborting my baby, even if the condition was harming my life... I'm not sure I can do it. Having life inside of you is such a beautiful gift, even though I've never been pregnant and do not know what it feels like.

The ways of the world is a sad, sad thing to watch...

 

[Angela53510]

Actually, it is more likely a man would force his wife to have an abortion, than a woman would go and have an abortion without her husband's approval. This is even more true in places like China and India, which have high rates of aborting girls in an attempt to keep the replacement rate at one boy per family. I have a friend from Mainland China who was forced to have an abortion by her husband when they were living in China. She was very damaged and hurt by it. In fact, she is divorcing him 25 years later, because of the pain he represents. Now I don't approve of divorce, but then neither have I been forced to have a traumatic and unwanted abortion!

"Forced Abortions In America

The Un-Choice

In a national study of women, 64% of those who aborted felt pressured to do so by others.[SUP]1[/SUP]This pressure can become violent.[SUP]2[/SUP] 65% suffered symptoms of trauma.1 In the year following an abortion, suicide rates are 6-7 times higher.[SUP]3[/SUP]


Forced Non-Choice .... "I'll blow her brains out."

Intense pressure to abort can come from husbands, parents, doctors, partners, counselors, or close friends and family. They may threaten or blackmail a woman into abortion. These are not idle threats. Coercion can escalate to violence. Women who resist abortion have been beaten, tortured and killed. One husband jumped on his wife's stomach to force an abortion. A mother forced her daughter at gunpoint to go to the abortion clinic. A woman was forcibly injected by the baby's father with an abortifacient drug.[SUP]2[/SUP]

Unwanted Non-Choice ... Their Choice, Not Hers.

Reasons women give for having abortions:

• Forced by mother
• Father opposed
• Husband or boyfriend persuaded me
• No other option given
• Would have been kicked out
• Loss of family's support
• Lack of support from society
• Clinic persuaded me[SUP]4[/SUP]

In 95% of all cases, the male partner plays a central role in the decision.[SUP]5[/SUP] Of men interviewed at abortion clinics 45% recalled urging abortion, including 37% of married men.6 Many of these men reported being justified in being the primary decision maker in the decision to have the abortion.[SUP]6[/SUP]Coerced Choice ... Taken to the Clinic to Make Sure She Keeps the Appointment

A former abortion clinic security guard testified before the Massachusetts legislature that women were routinely threatened and abused by the boyfriends or husbands who took them to the clinics to make sure they underwent their scheduled abortions.[SUP]7[/SUP] Many women are also pressured by clinic staff financially rewarded for selling abortions.[SUP]8[/SUP]

Forced Choice ... Threats Can Escalate to Violence or Murder - the Leading Killer of Pregnant Women

The pressure can escalate. Many pregnant women have been killed by partners trying to prevent the birth, and being pregnant places women at higher risk of being attacked.[SUP]9[/SUP] Murder is the leading cause of death among pregnant women. 10 92% of women surveyed list domestic violence and assault as the women's issue that is of highest concern to them.[SUP]11"

Forced Abortions In America - Defending Reproductive Justice - Political Research Associates

[/SUP][SUP]However, if a woman does get an abortion against her husband's wishes, I have to wonder if she understands the gospel at all? As a woman, one only has to feel the baby moving, or see the ultrasounds to know that it is a real life you are carrying. There is so much information available today about the reality of life in the womb, I guess it is only a matter of time, before the tide changes, and even the radicalized women realize they are murdering an unborn person. At least I pray things will change!

Here is an excellent group of pictures, which also note the development of the baby.

6 Absolutely Stunning Images of the Human Life in the Womb | Young Conservatives
[/SUP]

 

[tourist]

I love your perspective. Such a great point. The child belongs to the man just as much as it does to the woman.

I could never imagine aborting my baby, even if the condition was harming my life... I'm not sure I can do it. Having life inside of you is such a beautiful gift, even though I've never been pregnant and do not know what it feels like.

The ways of the world is a sad, sad thing to watch...

I love your perspective.

 

[Dan58]

Don't marry a woman who's pro-abortion and you won't need to worry about it. That's a subject to bring up pre-marriage, even if you think she's a true Christian, you'll want confirmation that she won't arbitrarily murder your unborn children. Jesus confirmed that infidelity was grounds for divorce (Matthew 19:9), he didn't mention abortion, but I suspect that he wouldn't require a man or woman to stay with a spouse who wanted to kill their own children. And if you intentionally impregnate a woman who you know will abort your offspring, aren't you complicit in the sin by voluntarily procreating a life that you know will be terminated? JMO

 

[presidente]

Don't marry a woman who's pro-abortion and you won't need to worry about it.

Amen. That's something women need to find out about potential husbands as well.

 

[MrsClementMelton1122]

I think in a marriage once you say, "I, Do" its no longer about you. Its extremely important to communicate with your spouse because it provides information on how the other party feels. My philosophy is that every marriage has levels. Your either going to grow with me or get left behind. And when I say left behind, people out grow people everyday. You have to make sure your spouse is willing to grow and make sacrifices with you. That's how marriages fail because one person grows and the other doesn't grow with them because the lack of communication.

 

[John_agape]

That's how marriages fail because one person grows and the other doesn't grow with them because the lack of communication.

Agreed, but life is not always simple,and there can be valid reasons why one spouse develops faster than the other.

In such a case I feel the more mature spouse needs to help the struggling one to catch up.

It doesn't matter if it is the man or the woman, the stronger one does the helping/supporting

 

[dabodab]

I had an abortion in my late teens. My own mother talked me into it. I had the abortion on the very last day it was legal in my state...which is late. I was determined to keep the baby but Mom's pleading spoke louder than my conscious. I gave my life to The Lord shortly after, but held to the belief for a long while that abortion was a woman's choice and not murder. Despite my extreme ignorance, God was patient with me.

I married another man later that year, but was in no way ready for marriage because of my ignorance. That man suffered for it.

It is with that, I say, do not marry a woman who has had an abortion unless you are sure they are truly repentant over it and have received healing. And really, in these days of knowing so many truths about the small life inside... It is probably wise NOT to marry a woman who has done this thing. Eh, let me hear from you if you don't agree.

~Deb

 

[pastac]

I would be more worried about her blatant disregard for a life that God created. In my book, abortion is murder. How could you continue to live with someone who has no regard for life?

Then from a purely spiritual standpoint what is the difference in murdering someone with your mouth? Having no regard for their spiritual life? Is not murder murder or is it a different murder? How can you live with someone who has murdered someone with their lips?

 

[amymine712]

Then from a purely spiritual standpoint what is the difference in murdering someone with your mouth? Having no regard for their spiritual life? Is not murder murder or is it a different murder? How can you live with someone who has murdered someone with their lips?

How can you murder someone with your mouth...what exactly do you mean here? If you are talking about cruelty, meanness, slander etc., then I would say that Christians who know the love of God won't do that to others. It is hard to do that with the love of God inside you. Letting God reign in your heart naturally brings out His love for others in you. In that regard, as long as you are looking for a mate that is a Christ follower you won't find a mate that believes in abortion.

 

[violakat]

My feelings is that irregardless of whether you are married or not, it took two people to create a baby, and it should take two people to make that decision. Men have just as much right to that child as women to their body, with the exception of those who rape. Personally I feel that the one who wants to keep the baby should have 100 in the say as to what happens. Angela is right about one thing, in the research I did a few years ago for a blog post, a huge portion of the women who had abortions were pressured into it.

 

[sunburn]

A wife who fears of the Lord would never do that.

 

[jogoldie]

I thank God that I never have been faced with this........but I have known women who have........and
I can assure you its easier to say ...I would never..... when your not faced with this decision.......
It is desperate times for those who do......and most woman go through alot of torture to make that decision....
Feeling that there is no way out......feeling lost ...ashamed....and forgotten....we seem to be so critical of these lost souls...
When my daughter came to me with the news of my first grandchild....it couldnt have come at a worse time.....
But because I didnt turn her away....and vowed I would do all I could to help...and with God..the choice didnt have to be made...
And now this beautiful baby is 12...she loves Jesus and is kind...helpful and loving...what my life would have been
without the joy and love she gives me....so lets not judge these women lets just help them....show them they are not
alone and God has this gift to enrich our lives ...not destroy it....and now my daughter is married to this boy and happy......
with ....[ok.. I'll just say it] 2 more perfect grandbabies......we must show these woman that this abortion thing can finally be done with...
And to choose life and the miracle God entrusts us with....
(Slowly stepping off soapbox)...just saying......peace......jo

 

[tourist]

I love your perspective. Such a great point. The child belongs to the man just as much as it does to the woman.

I could never imagine aborting my baby, even if the condition was harming my life... I'm not sure I can do it. Having life inside of you is such a beautiful gift, even though I've never been pregnant and do not know what it feels like.

The ways of the world is a sad, sad thing to watch...

Yes, the ways of the world are indeed sad. I tried to close my eyes but can still hear the cry of the suffering.

 

[pastac]

How can you murder someone with your mouth...what exactly do you mean here? If you are talking about cruelty, meanness, slander etc., then I would say that Christians who know the love of God won't do that to others. It is hard to do that with the love of God inside you. Letting God reign in your heart naturally brings out His love for others in you. In that regard, as long as you are looking for a mate that is a Christ follower you won't find a mate that believes in abortion.

Well if you don't know I cant tell you. Maybe you don't want to know. My humble suggestion to you is do a study on the dangers of the mouth then maybe you'll have better insight. All the fluffy lovey dovey other stuff is ok on a basic level but all believers are not well rooted or grounded in the word which is the problem.The love of God don't stop the devil or his minions from seeking to bash your head in at every turn! Abortion is then made to be a distraction issue from the act of sin. I'm not debating that issue been there done that. I'm simply saying our lips murder too.

 

[amymine712]

Well if you don't know I cant tell you. Maybe you don't want to know. My humble suggestion to you is do a study on the dangers of the mouth then maybe you'll have better insight. All the fluffy lovey dovey other stuff is ok on a basic level but all believers are not well rooted or grounded in the word which is the problem.The love of God don't stop the devil or his minions from seeking to bash your head in at every turn! Abortion is then made to be a distraction issue from the act of sin. I'm not debating that issue been there done that. I'm simply saying our lips murder too.

Wow you are not very helpful. And not sharing your beliefs is tantamount to letting a brother or sister stumble. God is love and knowing God is letting His love work thru you. Being "lovely dovey", as you called it ,doesn't mean being a doormat but it does mean loving others as God loves them.

 

[pastac]

Wow you are not very helpful. And not sharing your beliefs is tantamount to letting a brother or sister stumble. God is love and knowing God is letting His love work thru you. Being "lovely dovey", as you called it ,doesn't mean being a doormat but it does mean loving others as God loves them.

How can anyone help you if you cant see that it is possible to kill someone with your lips? You need to have an example then what if you dont understand that. Ok you want help lets see ,you can kill their desire, you can kill their zeal, you can kill their belief, you can kill their determination, you can kill their spirit is this helpful. Being lovey dovey is only saying that this is war sister and you are a soldier by default meaning you fight or you are training to enter the fight.

At some point all soldiers fight. We become doormats as you put it when we dont fight or are afraid to fight. Remember the enemy loves doormats. Point he wipes his feet on them!Did you study the dangers of the mouth or the lips I suggested that would help.Maybe you missed that part. God loves us and we love him so true. But that will not stop the enemy from attacking us.