Prenups

[MidniteWelder]

first of all, no one here is actually discussing prenups, in a serious way, or at least for the purpose they were intended.

second, i find it sort of scripturally lacking that you assume that prenups are only a negative thing, and counter to God's purposes. in chat tonight, which is where the genesis for this thread sprung from, i gave more than one example of how i imagined a prenup could be used to actually work to keep a couple married, by clearly outlining efforts to be made in the pursuit of salvaging a flailing marriage.

so please do not assume that a prenup is only a negative, worldly thing, and that by us making purely joking "prenup clauses", such as i also offered, "no cooking bell peppers" is an attack on God or His word.


no one is mocking you, but i would encourage you to understand better how detrimental jesus juking can be.

often, people post scripture (lacking proper context or even relevant use). in some cases, i consider it as an abuse of holy scripture, words that have precious and sacred meaning to me.

i don't see scripture as a stick ever to be used to club someone over the head with, or intended for the judgment or even what sometimes comes off as false piety. i am not accusing you of those things, necessarily, but i think before you attack the term jesus juke, you should understand better why it is offensive to some.

here's an article with some good examples of why it's so unacceptable.

What if we changed the term to Gypsy juking?
How would you feel about it then.

 

[DuchessAimee]

Perhaps if I just reworded this in a way that might be less objectionable and probably more accurate anyway...

What sort of outrageous and trivial things would you feel an urge to exact a promise from your future spouse about?

I'm breaking my current .gif rules and speaking out. Angie, you're fine babe. Prenups are not about assuming you're going to get a divorce. Prenups aren't anti-christian or anti anything. Prenups are a protection, and in this day and age, prenups are smart.



I would sign a prenup in a heartbeat. I'm a writer and a photographer, and although I plan on staying married until I die, my husband may lose his mind and cheat/leave/etc. If he leaves, I want my work and our children protected. It's as simple as that. If I write a best seller and he had no part of it, he doesn't get money from it. That's common sense, that's fair. If he's the creative type and invents something, he holds the creative rights, not me. Therefore, I have no part of it. That's fair. Prenups insure that things are fair and just. Easy peasy.


For those who disagree, don't sign a prenup. But more importantly, DON'T POST IN THIS JOKE THREAD. Seriously people, this isn't rocket science.



Now, I'm going to go back to posting gifs in threads. End of story, easy peasy.

 

[DanPhu]

Here's my Prenup.

You shall be a feminist that bakes me root beer cookies in the kitchen while wearing a great pair of boots.

 

[ww_21]

He has to enable my addiction:

 

[Fenner]

I signed a prenuptial. He was afraid of losing his Ford Festiva and comic books if we ever parted.

 

[Fenner]

He has to enable my addiction:

If my son wasn't only 9 years old I'd totally set the two of you up.

 

[Jullianna]

- There will be dogs
- I clean all bathrooms and kitchens
- There will be ceiling fans if at all possible
- The white gummybears are mine
- No wearing my heels
- Cheetos must always be shared
- No ill may be spoken of Joey Votto or Peyton Manning
- You must either be a good swimmer or agree to learn
- I get to sleep in my fuzzy socks no matter what

 

[lil_christian]

- There will be dogs
- I clean all bathrooms and kitchens
- There will be ceiling fans if at all possible
- The white gummybears are mine
- No wearing my heels
- Cheetos must always be shared
- No ill may be spoken of Joey Votto or Peyton Manning
- You must either be a good swimmer or agree to learn
- I get to sleep in my fuzzy socks no matter what

I'm not the only one who wears fuzzy socks when I sleep!! Yes! lol

 

[MissCris]

​I require a lot of ice cream and coffee to function within normal parameters. So far, that requirement has been met.

 

[Raine]

I'm not the only one who wears fuzzy socks when I sleep!! Yes! lol

Me three!

I can't sleep without them. Otherwise I wake up in the middle of the night all distressed and cold lolol.

 

[ChandlerFan]

*rubs neck from Jesus juke whiplash*



She has to be prepared to engage in a water fight at any moment...

any moment...

any moment...

 

[tourist]

Before the festivities of nightfall a playful pillow fight to set the mood. Perhaps, scented candles and soft music for her. A pre-nup is a mutual agreement in the marriage. We will both be very agreeable to each other during the night...

 

[lil_christian]

*rubs neck from Jesus juke whiplash*



She has to be prepared to engage in a water fight at any moment...

any moment...

any moment...

Just make sure you don't get caught unaware! She might have a loaded supersoaker in her closet, ready to be fired at any given time...

 

[gypsygirl]

*rubs neck from Jesus juke whiplash*



She has to be prepared to engage in a water fight at any moment...

any moment...

any moment...

hey now! quit looking at my paper!

i didn't know you were a water fighter too!?!

you, mister c, just became even cooler than you already were. ; p

Just make sure you don't get caught unaware!

She might have a loaded supersoaker in her closet, ready to be fired at any given time...

you should listen to her. some of us have more than one supersoaker. mwhahaahahahaaahahaa!

but i don't keep them loaded, because that might be messy. ; p

 

[CatHerder]

- There will be dogs
- I clean all bathrooms and kitchens
- There will be ceiling fans if at all possible
- The white gummybears are mine
- No wearing my heels
- Cheetos must always be shared
- No ill may be spoken of Joey Votto or Peyton Manning
- You must either be a good swimmer or agree to learn
- I get to sleep in my fuzzy socks no matter what

absoltely not. I get two out of every five white gummi bears, and agree to buy an extra bag of gummis, just for you for every week that you go to bed barefoot.

Oh. and I will promise chocolate covered strawberries at least once a month, and will make chicken curry as often as yiu like.

I'll have my lawyer draft up the details.

 

[gypsygirl]

+ no bell peppers to be cooked in the home. however, bell peppers may be consumed at a neutral, third party location with adequate ventilation.

+ no birkenstocks, EVER. and socks, never with sandals. and no socks in bed.

+ road trips and adventures are mandatory.

+ also required: highly competitive games (like scrabble).

+ disputes will be settled with water fights.

+ i require a lot of laughter to make it through the day. please cooperate.

+ don't try to make me behave, please. that ship has already sailed.

 

[MartyrNdaMaKn]

Thou shall keep my fridge full of food, if you expect me to maintain the yard.

 

[wisebeardman]

when I was about 18 or so. I had one wrote up (for realz just incase) it ended up being about 400 pages.. Cheating results in instant divorce and the cheating party gets nothing.

not sure what I did with it.. its around here somewhere.

 

[jeremyPJ]

I suppose a prenup isn't a bad idea, just never did one. I just don't like thinking that way. I'm a glass is half full person, despite my experiences.

 

[CatHerder]

+ no bell peppers to be cooked in the home. however, bell peppers may be consumed at a neutral, third party location with adequate ventilation.

+ no birkenstocks, EVER. and socks, never with sandals. and no socks in bed.

+ road trips and adventures are mandatory.

+ also required: highly competitive games (like scrabble).

+ disputes will be settled with water fights.

+ i require a lot of laughter to make it through the day. please cooperate.

+ don't try to make me behave, please. that ship has already sailed.

You can have my Birkenstocks when you pry them from my cold, dead, fing...er...feet!

...and my prenup says that all pizzas must come with mushroom, pepperoni, and bell pepper.

**le sigh** I guess we have irreconcilable differences. On to CC crush #1, #3, #4, and #5.