What this shows here is an ignorance of the difference between white culture and black culture in America. And refusal to acknowledge that with each race, there is a different culture, is a gross miscalculation and misunderstanding of the country we live in.
The two races use the word differently. But some would argue that either use, endearing or derogatory, is still not okay.
But at any rate, what you're talking about is context. And I submit that the context in which blacks use it, is more ambiguous than the way whites use it.
Some blacks who do use the word use it more loosely and can have different meanings.
When whites use it, it's racist.
I'm aware of the double standard, and just because some people insanely think that it's unfair doesn't mean that double standard doesn't exist.
And the desire to break the double standard and say that if blacks and use it, then whites should be able is racist. I mean, who would WANT to use that word anyway?
The only other way is to stop saying it all together. But that's never going to happen. So I say just accept the double standard.