Hello
I breezed thru the whole thread... and I don't think anyone said this yet but...
In order to receive a revelation from God one must fully surrender their hearts and open it completely, making it vulnerable. From what you have said so far, my sense is that even if God revealed himself to you at this point, if it was illogical, you would not believe that it is Him.
Yes, you know John 3:16, and you could probably quote it etc... but does your heart comprehend it? Do you realize how beautiful it was what Christ came down and what he did for you?
I grew up as a pastor's kid but don't consider myself saved until I was 12. I encountered God in the most unexpected way. As a teen, of course, I was struggling with self identity and I was broken with the situations my friends were in because I loved them very much and wanted to help them. I also struggled a lot, a lot, with believing that I was loved. I often spent many days crying in my dark room believing that I was not loved, and thought about taking my own life but never did because I had made a covenant with God that I wouldn't. I didn't understand God, but turned to him out of desperation.
Well, my dad had us fill out these packets on occasion, which I hated (awesome how God uses things we dislike sometimes haha), and this one happen to focus on John 3:16. I knew John 3:16, we recited it all the time. The packet had me put my name in, in replace of the word world. So it read something like this... "For God so loved (your name) that he gave his one and only son so that (your name) would not perish but have everlasting life." I filled it in, and as I read it, I instantly broke down in tears. I remember that moment so well. For the first time in my life, I realized God's love for me. God did not come down to die for the world, but I realized that each and everyone of us are his world. What do I mean by this? His love for us is so great that it is not limited. He is capable of loving us so much that each of us are his world. Even if God could only save one of us, He would've come down and still do everything because one person is worth that much to Him.
Instantly, when I read that, I broke down in tears and felt the strong presence of the Holy Spirit cover me. It was tangible, it was real, there was no doubt. Can I explain it? No. But my heart was broken and desperate and in a vulnerable place and only God could heal it.
Is there anything logical about this? Probably not. For God? It is completely logical. His logic is different from us. If we use logic, it is not even "logical" that an awesome and mighty God would choose to come down and die for us. That isn't logical! Any other god would never have done that. This reflects His perfect love.
If you seek him, seek him with a humble and broken heart. Tell him honestly how you are feeling. Its okay to yell at him and get angry and frustrated... He can handle it. And if He reveals himself, even illogically... well... at that point it is up to you if you believe it or not.
Good luck.
And God bless.