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Action speaks louder than words. Let your life be a living testimony of God's amazing grace. I have a cousin who lived by example and I really looked up to her. She has touched so many lives. She was a good doctor and helped a lot of people who cannot afford medical care. But unfortunately she died at a young age.
Maybe it can help if we forget about ourselves and focus more on God because its not about us, its all about Him.
1) Living in a country I don´t want its people, its gov and the social-political situation it has evolved.
2) Trying to find soeone I would have loved "enlessly" without knowing who she is or where she is.
My past hardships are unimportant because these gave me more to know who I am and whom I wanted to be.
This present is the one which hurts be something. If I were in Paradise I guess I would listen -clearly GOd´s voice to spare me that time wasted, because I´m not gregarious, so it´s boring spending a year after another year trying or falling.
2) Trying to find soeone I would have loved "enlessly" without knowing who she is or where she is.
My past hardships are unimportant because these gave me more to know who I am and whom I wanted to be.
This present is the one which hurts be something. If I were in Paradise I guess I would listen -clearly GOd´s voice to spare me that time wasted, because I´m not gregarious, so it´s boring spending a year after another year trying or falling.
J
The fact that I would even be in existence... What's the point? I mean, often than not these days I have no problem since I know I want to live. I have to. For what, who knows, I don't know yet. I'm just afraid of it getting worse from here on. One minute a person could tell you that you need to reach out to get anywhere, then when you do just that then you're nothing but a big crybaby. Speaking of which, I'm in tears right now.
I just find myself horribly ugly. Inside, outside. I've focused more on the outside and of course I slip and go back to my old habits. Literally I cannot get anywhere. I need to reach out but of course I can't. I wonder if I'll ever be good for anything because I've pretty much done everything wrong. I still do.
More like a rant, but I'll get to the point... Right now I'm just wanting to get out of this endless pit that I've stayed in for quite some time. Small changes, that's what we should be focusing on, right? I can't even do that. I'm tired of feeling anxious of the thought that I'd even step one foot somewhere that seems so foreign and yet somehow too familiar because I don't want to get hurt anymore. Like I said, I've done everything wrong. I know I need to let go but then there's a pull when trying to get out. I don't know how much longer I can take it. I'm too comfortable in my mistakes but it's costing me everything. Tired of my messed up thinking, ways, faults. They've been going on for quite a long time now and I just want to wake up feeling like they're gone. Of course, it can't be like that.
Honestly, I just need to leave. Leave everything. Leave and forget everything I've known. If I can start over and 'have' to, I'd probably do just that. Otherwise I don't want to really be here. I just want to get on point and if there's a heaven then everyone up there has a lot of explaining to do to have people be tortured here only to have a huge possibility to be tortured even more in the next life.
Sorry, but if there's even an answer that nobody asked for and yet can be published on a public forum, it's this. I don't want any pats on the shoulder telling me 'there there' or people to feel bad and pray for me. Not anymore. I just want to be left alone. I may get just that. To everyone who has been nice to me, thank you for it. It means more than I've ever expressed and at times even thought about. You know who you are.
I just find myself horribly ugly. Inside, outside. I've focused more on the outside and of course I slip and go back to my old habits. Literally I cannot get anywhere. I need to reach out but of course I can't. I wonder if I'll ever be good for anything because I've pretty much done everything wrong. I still do.
More like a rant, but I'll get to the point... Right now I'm just wanting to get out of this endless pit that I've stayed in for quite some time. Small changes, that's what we should be focusing on, right? I can't even do that. I'm tired of feeling anxious of the thought that I'd even step one foot somewhere that seems so foreign and yet somehow too familiar because I don't want to get hurt anymore. Like I said, I've done everything wrong. I know I need to let go but then there's a pull when trying to get out. I don't know how much longer I can take it. I'm too comfortable in my mistakes but it's costing me everything. Tired of my messed up thinking, ways, faults. They've been going on for quite a long time now and I just want to wake up feeling like they're gone. Of course, it can't be like that.
Honestly, I just need to leave. Leave everything. Leave and forget everything I've known. If I can start over and 'have' to, I'd probably do just that. Otherwise I don't want to really be here. I just want to get on point and if there's a heaven then everyone up there has a lot of explaining to do to have people be tortured here only to have a huge possibility to be tortured even more in the next life.
Sorry, but if there's even an answer that nobody asked for and yet can be published on a public forum, it's this. I don't want any pats on the shoulder telling me 'there there' or people to feel bad and pray for me. Not anymore. I just want to be left alone. I may get just that. To everyone who has been nice to me, thank you for it. It means more than I've ever expressed and at times even thought about. You know who you are.
J
I have just read your post. There are those moments like ELIJAH'S MOMENTS in our lives. Wanted to run away, escape, and be alone. I respect your decision. May you find God not in the storm, in the fire or in the wind but in a gentle whisper.
Go, JustAnotherUser and I'm just here waiting for you. God's will.
Go, JustAnotherUser and I'm just here waiting for you. God's will.
Some I hold close to my heart, and many continue in my life everyday.
I also live with chronic pain, sometimes so overwhelming, it is only with Jesus's love I continue, for it is not in flesh
that we walk, but in His spirit.
I know only that it was in my darkest moment that I realised the way in Jesus, to God's glory and love eternal.
That is by praise!
Giving all praise and glory to God, no matter how dark that all may be before you, praise opens ones eyes and heart.
For praise is to glorify God, and a testament to the faith, hope and love we are called to.
Like I said before, we are called to walk in spirit, not flesh.
When we willingly recieive this in Jesus, praise is the fruit of His spirit within us.
And all is ovvercome, because Jesus already overcame it all for us.
in Jesus, God bless
pickles
I also live with chronic pain, sometimes so overwhelming, it is only with Jesus's love I continue, for it is not in flesh
that we walk, but in His spirit.
I know only that it was in my darkest moment that I realised the way in Jesus, to God's glory and love eternal.
That is by praise!
Giving all praise and glory to God, no matter how dark that all may be before you, praise opens ones eyes and heart.
For praise is to glorify God, and a testament to the faith, hope and love we are called to.
Like I said before, we are called to walk in spirit, not flesh.
When we willingly recieive this in Jesus, praise is the fruit of His spirit within us.
And all is ovvercome, because Jesus already overcame it all for us.
in Jesus, God bless
pickles
This is one of the hardest things I have ever gone through. In Feb of 2013 I had to file for disability because my arthritis has gotten so bad, I have both ostio and rheumatoid arthritis. I have not worked since. We are basically living on my wife's income. I did HVAC installation for 20yrs so I also know a good bit of other construction also. You break it in a house I can fix it...or at least I used too be able to. Now dealing with anything from climbing a ladder and steps to hammering a nail is a chore. Kinda frustrating when you can't do things you love to do and know you can do. I finally had a hearing about a month ago. Still no word.
For a good while I was pretty down then God kinda slapped me in the face "Do you trust me? Do you have faith in me? Do you believe I have you in my hands? Do you not think I am in control?". Um yes to all.."Then what's the problem?" That was it. I saw how the Holy Spirit has been working in my life molding me to what He wanted me to become.
We still have all we need...food, clothes, water, electric ect.
Faith and trust in God stay in His Word Study read live your life for the glory of God....that's how I think the Holy Spirit helps us overcome.
For a good while I was pretty down then God kinda slapped me in the face "Do you trust me? Do you have faith in me? Do you believe I have you in my hands? Do you not think I am in control?". Um yes to all.."Then what's the problem?" That was it. I saw how the Holy Spirit has been working in my life molding me to what He wanted me to become.
We still have all we need...food, clothes, water, electric ect.
Faith and trust in God stay in His Word Study read live your life for the glory of God....that's how I think the Holy Spirit helps us overcome.
Of course He doesn't NEED us to, He created all. We feel driven to do so out of our thanks, and not for Him as much as for the lost out here. We do it because He resides in us compelling us to do so, not to mention He commands it.
Luke 8:39 Return to your home, and declare how much God has done for you.” And he went away, proclaiming throughout the whole city how much Jesus had done for him.
Rev 12:11 And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death.
Matt 10:32 So everyone who acknowledges me before men, I also will acknowledge before my Father who is in heaven
Pslam 119:46 I will also speak of your testimonies before kings and shall not be put to shame (even by internet forum guys)
He doesn't NEED our glory, but that will not stop me personally from proclaiming it from the roof tops to bring Him as much glory as my feeble efforts can, in completely humbled gratitude. It's all for and from Him.
As far as this "we would killing the individuality", not so at all, what two of us have the same testimony? He saves each one of us uniquely.
Luke 8:39 Return to your home, and declare how much God has done for you.” And he went away, proclaiming throughout the whole city how much Jesus had done for him.
Rev 12:11 And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death.
Matt 10:32 So everyone who acknowledges me before men, I also will acknowledge before my Father who is in heaven
Pslam 119:46 I will also speak of your testimonies before kings and shall not be put to shame (even by internet forum guys)
He doesn't NEED our glory, but that will not stop me personally from proclaiming it from the roof tops to bring Him as much glory as my feeble efforts can, in completely humbled gratitude. It's all for and from Him.
As far as this "we would killing the individuality", not so at all, what two of us have the same testimony? He saves each one of us uniquely.
J
Wow! I am humbled and moved by the battle you are facing and enduring. Exactly the purpose of this thread. It is much more seeing the hearts of the posters than their living testimonies. Testimony is good but if we shared it as if some kind of an achievement, will never see the heart behind it. God looks at the heart.
Thank you and keep on coming...
Let's increase our faith and encourage one another by sharing on this thread.
Lots of love
Thank you and keep on coming...
Let's increase our faith and encourage one another by sharing on this thread.
Lots of love
Im glad you brought this back......I got a story that no one can compare.....
A few years back I lost my job..and everything was lost after that.....not yet.....the not comparing is coming....
I was taking care of my daughter and grandbabies....we became homeless....a friend of a friend once removed
Said she was a single mom struggling but had a place and between all of us we would all benefit....
In a short time the woman began to hate me...she thought I was taken over..her chidren would run
to me after school to tell me of their day....it got so bad she said the girls could stay but I had to go...
Against my daughters wishes I packed my bag and walked away..down the street
I wound up behind the airport on a desserted road trying to get to the beach to think..a car was coming
at me and he stopped as what appeared to me as a bunch of cats...then one big one stood up
on his hind legs to screach at the car.....suffice to say they were no cats...
Ok..here it comes......I turned around and a pack....at least 20...monkeys.....yes I said monkeys...
were running after me....I started to run and fast....bag..sandals and all running for my life....or so it
seemed...it was then I thought of God...wondering what happened to my faith that im at this point...
As I yelled to Jesus,s and thanked Him for getting me out of this. .still in full run....I turned a corner...
stopped and looked back and the monkeys had turned around and started back the other way...
ok you can stop laughing now...cause everytime I tell this story someone has to laugh.. ...I do...
Lets shorten this ...I got to the beach and spent the night...focusing on God...and what was I going to do..
my phone rang and it was my daughter ..friends from up north sent me a bus ticket and told me to
come live with them until I got on my feet....and that adventure is crazy..all by it self.. ..so I will stop here and say...
Dont wait till monkeys are chasing you.....go to God now.....peace ....jo
A few years back I lost my job..and everything was lost after that.....not yet.....the not comparing is coming....
I was taking care of my daughter and grandbabies....we became homeless....a friend of a friend once removed
Said she was a single mom struggling but had a place and between all of us we would all benefit....
In a short time the woman began to hate me...she thought I was taken over..her chidren would run
to me after school to tell me of their day....it got so bad she said the girls could stay but I had to go...
Against my daughters wishes I packed my bag and walked away..down the street
I wound up behind the airport on a desserted road trying to get to the beach to think..a car was coming
at me and he stopped as what appeared to me as a bunch of cats...then one big one stood up
on his hind legs to screach at the car.....suffice to say they were no cats...
Ok..here it comes......I turned around and a pack....at least 20...monkeys.....yes I said monkeys...
were running after me....I started to run and fast....bag..sandals and all running for my life....or so it
seemed...it was then I thought of God...wondering what happened to my faith that im at this point...
As I yelled to Jesus,s and thanked Him for getting me out of this. .still in full run....I turned a corner...
stopped and looked back and the monkeys had turned around and started back the other way...
ok you can stop laughing now...cause everytime I tell this story someone has to laugh.. ...I do...
Lets shorten this ...I got to the beach and spent the night...focusing on God...and what was I going to do..
my phone rang and it was my daughter ..friends from up north sent me a bus ticket and told me to
come live with them until I got on my feet....and that adventure is crazy..all by it self.. ..so I will stop here and say...
Dont wait till monkeys are chasing you.....go to God now.....peace ....jo
