Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

[cinder]

Well,....I was doing a bit better, I was starting to feel more optimistic,.....And then I had to go to back to this crazy church that my parents keep dragging me to, and my dad decided to get all personally offended because I miss our old church that I never wanted to leave, and so then, decided to use that as an opportunity to bring up my flaws and past mistakes.

I love my dad. I know that he "loves" me, and "Wants only the best" for me, But I'm really not seeing that he loves me. Not for a while now.

To add to the list of things bothering me, there are my two jobs, neither of which are going as well as they should be. There is my schooling, there is personal drama, financial struggles, and me fighting myself to stay organized.

I feel like I'm failing at life, and I'm not even 18 yet. I'm scared and sad. And I hate telling people about my problems, I feel like I'm being needy,...But I'd rather tell you guys than the people around me. So, please excuse my rantings...

You're not even 18 yet; it is completely unrealistic to expect yourself to have life all figured out. One of the biggest challenges I found in making the transition to adulthood is that one day you are in school and everyone keeps telling you how bright your future is and how much they are behind you to help you succeed (and pretty much your whole school career has been full of people trying to make you feel good about yourself) the next you are in the work world and people only care about how much your produce and it is cutthroat competitive at times. Work is nothing like school and it can be a very difficult change to make.

Sometimes you just have to tell people about your problems. Everyone is needy sometimes, and it is also a very wise idea to learn from the mistakes of others instead of being so stubborn that you end up making them all yourself.

Hugs if you want them (they don't solve everything but they usually help) and just remember there is nothing magic about the number 18, you don't suddenly have life all figured out on your 18th birthday, but neither did the rest of us.

 

[arwen-undomiel]

So Obama doesn't want this to be a long-term op. I understand that. He took troops out of Iraq in the first place. But to think that Americans will "go in and defeat ISIS" in a short period of time seems a little idealistic to me. Aside from nuking them that is... I really don't think the west wants soldiers fighting on the ground against these barbarics. And I don't blame us. Canada is sending our special Ops into Iraq low risk, but still not without. Up to now, we have just been giving humanitarian support to the victims.

 

[Ho11y]

Only to you sweetie... but it's ok...

yeah.... good one.

 

[Ho11y]

I just discovered that if you drink red wine after eating chocolate covered pretzels it tastes like grape jelly in your mouth.

I have never had wine, but i like to imagine it tastes like the best fruit juice EVER!

 

[wisebeardman]

So Obama doesn't want this to be a long-term op. I understand that. He took troops out of Iraq in the first place. But to think that Americans will "go in and defeat ISIS" in a short period of time seems a little idealistic to me. Aside from nuking them that is... I really don't think the west wants soldiers fighting on the ground against these barbarics. And I don't blame us. Canada is sending our special Ops into Iraq low risk, but still not without. Up to now, we have just been giving humanitarian support to the victims.

Obama the fraud, He (along with the Sauds,Oman,UAE,Turkey) been giving weapons to the terrorist in Syria (yes that includes ISIS) to overthrow Assad.

 

[Ugly]

I have never had wine, but i like to imagine it tastes like the best fruit juice EVER!

It does not. I've tried it a few times and didn't enjoy it at all. But i like juice.

 

[djness]

I had a nail in my tire. Which one of you no good lousy so and so degenerates left a nail in the roadway..... I WANT A NAME!!

 

[arwen-undomiel]

Obama the fraud, He (along with the Sauds,Oman,UAE,Turkey) been giving weapons to the terrorist in Syria (yes that includes ISIS) to overthrow Assad.

Why do you guy hate every president that you elect?

 

[Ugly]

Why do you guy hate every president that you elect?

It's the people that vote for the other guys. If you don't vote for someone then 'you' didn't elect him. And Obama was the golden child for so long, but now people are starting to see him for who he really is and many people are turning on him.

 

[ronnie2796]

Thank you Cinder and Zeroturbulence

I probably am being tested,..

I appreciate your hugs and prayers, and your comforting words. They mean more than you realize.

I'll figure it out eventually.

 

[tourist]

I had a nail in my tire. Which one of you no good lousy so and so degenerates left a nail in the roadway..... I WANT A NAME!!

I think it was Mr. Goodwrench.

 

[zeroturbulence]

I have never had wine, but i like to imagine it tastes like the best fruit juice EVER!

I think wine and all alcohol tastes kinda nasty lol. I prefer grape juice. I only drink a little wine because its supposed to be good for you.

 

[rachelsedge]

I have never had wine, but i like to imagine it tastes like the best fruit juice EVER!

That's what I thought too, before I tried it. It tastes nothing like juice. The only wine I like is Moscato. I really want to like red wine because I want to feel sophisticated, I just can't do it.

 

[Tintin]

Zeroturbulence, I much prefer white wine to red but even with the white I have a reasonably moderate sweet tooth. I've only ever enjoyed one kind of red I've tried and I can't remember what it was - bummer! I've never heard of chocolate-coated pretzels before. Did you invent them or are they an American original?

Ronnie, my dear sister! It's great to hear from you. I'm sorry that you're so busy and struggling at the moment. Remember, it's okay to say NO to some things. It's also important to rely on others. No, it may not be easy at first, but we must learn to exist in community to grow. The burden is made lighter when more are involved, especially when Christ is involved. May God give you His most indescribable peace that only comes from Him. A peace that passes all human understanding. May you continue to walk in Spirit and Truth. I'm praying for you, mate.

 

[rachelsedge]

Thoughts:

- There is a dog in the neighborhood that will. Not. Stop. Barking. It's dogs like that (or rather, dog-owners like) that make me more of a cat person.

- One of my cats, Dakota, does not get along with my roommate's cat, Mulan. She will chase her, swat at her, just basically makes her miserable to the point where Mulan will just hide the entire time. Now, Mulan has associated me with Dakota, so if Mulan sees me, she will hide because she assumes Dakota will come next (because honestly, she usually is following me). After researching, it seems we will have to re-introduce them, which means that Dakota must stay in my room by herself for a while as part of the process. I hate it, and I know Dakota does too, but hopefully this is better in the long-term so everyone can be out and about without fear.

- I will admit, the last month or so I have been in a bad place with God, and it got really bad earlier this week. It wasn't even an angry type of bad, just a "I don't feel like you're there, I'm doubting You, I don't get Your ways at all, why do things have to be the way they are in the world" type of bad. It honestly scared me, how...dark my heart felt towards God.

I spoke to a CC member about a few weeks ago, and it was helpful and I keep re-reading her message to me. I also texted a mentor of mine from Illinois asking for her to pray for me because of this. I rarely ask people to pray for me. Part of it is a trust issue, part of it due to pride. That night, I made myself listen to worship music while I showered. I say "made" because my heart was in such a place that I was irritated by worship music. But I made myself listen. At some point I suddenly sobbed in the shower, I can't put my finger on why and it wasn't for long, I just know that the Pandora station I was using happened to play perfect songs for that time. And I still am not where I want to be. I still don't understand what is happening. But I know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, that I am digging my way out of whatever gunk this is. Gunk that isn't really connected to circumstances in my life, because I feel mostly fine. Just...gunk. I have felt these feelings before, but never this deeply or darkly. I am hoping that the more I get involved with the church I have chosen (which is going great) that my walk will be less feeble and more renewed.

I know everyone goes through dry spells with God. This seemed (seems) less like a dry spell and more of a ...rebellion/rejection spell. I dunno.

Anyway. That was my week.

 

[Lynx]

You know that type of laugh when you snort like your trying to hold a in laugh, cus it's not an appropriate time to keel over laughing? Well for the 3rd time now, I've woken out of a dream by a snort laugh for whatever reason what I had dreamed was ridiculously funny.

Oh thank you thank you thank you! I've woken up laughing before and thought I was crazy. Glad I'm not the only one.

I still don't remember what I was dreaming, but it was hilarious at the time...

 

[Lynx]

Why do you guy hate every president that you elect?

Because he's the president, he's out in front and it's easy to blame him for whatever goes wrong. I voted for the other guy, but I still fundamentally object to Obama jokes and ridicule. How can he get anything done? It's like driving a bus where every passenger has a brake... then all the passengers complain because the driver isn't getting anywhere. Kinda stupid really.

 

[Lynx]

Tintin, say it isn't so! NEVER heard of chocolate covered pretzels? Next you'll tell me you've never tried real buttermilk biscuits. You gotta get over here and let us feed you some real food man.

 

[Ugly]

Wait? So because the public makes jokes and criticizes Obama he's an innocent victim whose hands are tied and he can't do his job? I'm not seeing the connection.

And why only object to jokes about Obama? Every president has had to go through this, so why is he the only one deserving of pity for it?

Truth is Obama was tinkled all over by the press. Now the press is realizing what a mistake they've made and his support is lowering. This isn't tying his hands at all, because he's trampled all over anyone who has gotten in his way. Forget laws, rules, constitutions, privacy or rights. Obama does what he wants regardless of what anyone else has to say. Poor guy.

 

[Tintin]

Tintin, say it isn't so! NEVER heard of chocolate covered pretzels? Next you'll tell me you've never tried real buttermilk biscuits. You gotta get over here and let us feed you some real food man.

Buttermilk biscuits?! Until yesterday, I hadn't even heard of fried oysters! I have much to learn.