It's no problem brother, I see (or read it at least) you are in pain, and there have been times I couldn't have read all this "keep your head up" stuff, and keep a good attitude either. I do sincerely hope Jesus gets through to you soon, it's the only guaranteed peace out there. I do truly wish you the best man, if there is anything I could do to help (short of Fed-Ex-ing you a wife) please let me know.
May His peace find you,
your brother in Christ,
Jimmy Rogers