The changing of the light bulb

[Lynx]

Well it's not quite as dramatic as the changing of the guard, but it's gotta be done. So how many DOES it take to get that thing changed?

COUNTRY SINGERS:
7 - One to take out the old light bulb and stick in the new one. Six to stand around singing about the old one.


PSYCHOLOGISTS:
Only one... but only if the light bulb really WANTS to change.

 

[Lynx]

FORUM USERS:

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
1 to move it to the Lighting section.
2 to argue, then move it to the Electricals section.
7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.
5 to flame the spell checkers.
3 to correct spelling/grammar flames.
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid.
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp."
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct.
19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum.
11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum.
36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty.
7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs.
4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's.
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group.
13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too."
5 to post to the group that they are quitting the forum because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs."
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.

 

[Lynx]

DOGS:

GOLDEN RETRIEVER: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

BORDER COLLIE: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

DACHSHUND: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

ROTTWEILER: Make me!!

LAB: Oh, me, me!!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?

GERMAN SHEPHERD: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

TIBETAN TERRIER: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.

JACK RUSSELL TERRIER: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

POODLE: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

COCKER SPANIEL: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

DOBERMAN: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.

BOXER: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark......

CHIHUAHUA: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

IRISH WOLFHOUND: Can somebody else do it? I've got this hangover.....

POINTER: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there....

GREYHOUND: It isn't moving. Who cares?

AUSTRALIAN SHEPHERD: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

OLD ENGLISH SHEEP DOG: Light bulb? I'm sorry,but I don't see a light bulb?

HOUND DOG: ZZZZZZzzzzz.z.z.z..z..z..z...z

DALMATIAN: I'm not stupid, let Mojo do it.

CAT: Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the question is: How long will it be before I can expect light?

 

[blue_ladybug]

DOGS:

GOLDEN RETRIEVER: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

BORDER COLLIE: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

DACHSHUND: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

ROTTWEILER: Make me!!

LAB: Oh, me, me!!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?

GERMAN SHEPHERD: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

TIBETAN TERRIER: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.

JACK RUSSELL TERRIER: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

POODLE: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

COCKER SPANIEL: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

DOBERMAN: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.

BOXER: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark......

CHIHUAHUA: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

IRISH WOLFHOUND: Can somebody else do it? I've got this hangover.....

POINTER: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there....

GREYHOUND: It isn't moving. Who cares?

AUSTRALIAN SHEPHERD: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

OLD ENGLISH SHEEP DOG: Light bulb? I'm sorry,but I don't see a light bulb?

HOUND DOG: ZZZZZZzzzzz.z.z.z..z..z..z...z

DALMATIAN: I'm not stupid, let Mojo do it.

CAT: Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the question is: How long will it be before I can expect light?

Seeing as how it's 7:24 p.m. and fully dark outside, you should next see light around..about 6:30 a.m. tomorrow morning!! LOL!!

 

[JesusLives]

FORUM USERS:

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
1 to move it to the Lighting section.
2 to argue, then move it to the Electricals section.
7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.
5 to flame the spell checkers.
3 to correct spelling/grammar flames.
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid.
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp."
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct.
19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum.
11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum.
36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty.
7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs.
4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's.
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group.
13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too."
5 to post to the group that they are quitting the forum because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs."
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.

And one Blond who doesn't care about changing the light bulb as she lives in Florida and soaks up Sunshine.

 

[ServantStrike]

MTBF of 1-2000 hours for an incandescent.

MTBF of a CFL is 5-15k hours

LED is 25-50k hours



That's how often they need to be changed. Multiply the number of hours they are used per day by the number of days per year, divide the mean time before failure by that number and you'll get how many years until you have to change the bulb again.


Unless it's in an area where the bulb is frequently turned off and on, such as a hallway, in which case CFL's tend to have a lower MTBF than stated. Additional constraints arise in sealed enclosures or recessed enclosures which do not allow the ballast of a solid state bulb (CFLS and LEDS are both solid state these days) to run within operating parameters.



Oh and don't eat light bulbs - that's bad.

 

[JesusLives]

God doesn't need any light bulbs as He can just say - Let there be light.

 

[Lynx]

My dad claims to be so old that when God said, "Let there be light!" he was there to flip the switch.

 

[tourist]

Whoa...who turned out the lights?

 

[JesusLives]

MTBF of 1-2000 hours for an incandescent.

MTBF of a CFL is 5-15k hours

LED is 25-50k hours



That's how often they need to be changed. Multiply the number of hours they are used per day by the number of days per year, divide the mean time before failure by that number and you'll get how many years until you have to change the bulb again.


Unless it's in an area where the bulb is frequently turned off and on, such as a hallway, in which case CFL's tend to have a lower MTBF than stated. Additional constraints arise in sealed enclosures or recessed enclosures which do not allow the ballast of a solid state bulb (CFLS and LEDS are both solid state these days) to run within operating parameters.



Oh and don't eat light bulbs - that's bad.

Hey Blond here.... Since you're so good at figuring out when to change a light bulb can you estimate when my 12-13 foot high ceiling hallway lights will need to be changed. They are kinda like big spot lights and have been up for about 12 years. So how much more time do I have? I am 5' 2" and have a 6 ft ladder...Is it safe to stand on the top rung? Will I be able to reach it? So with the numbers I have now given you can you help me figure out when I will have to make this light bulb change?

Please help this Blond with the answers to my questions.....Any volunteers able to come and help this short Blond?

Blonds = Hours of entertainment.

 

[JesusLives]

My dad claims to be so old that when God said, "Let there be light!" he was there to flip the switch.

This Blond handed your dad the light bulb.....lol

 

[tourist]

This Blond handed your dad the light bulb.....lol

It probably turned the old man on...

 

[Nautilus]

COPS: None they just beat the room for being black.

 

[tourist]

COPS: None they just beat the room for being black.

Perhaps one day they will see the light.

 

[ServantStrike]

Hey Blond here.... Since you're so good at figuring out when to change a light bulb can you estimate when my 12-13 foot high ceiling hallway lights will need to be changed. They are kinda like big spot lights and have been up for about 12 years. So how much more time do I have? I am 5' 2" and have a 6 ft ladder...Is it safe to stand on the top rung? Will I be able to reach it? So with the numbers I have now given you can you help me figure out when I will have to make this light bulb change?

Please help this Blond with the answers to my questions.....Any volunteers able to come and help this short Blond?

Blonds = Hours of entertainment.

Yay! I'm useful!

Since they're 12 years old, if you only used them 3 hours a week, they'd be due if they are incandescent bulbs.

They're uhh... probably due. Go LED this time (I recommend Cree), and you should be good for 20-50 years (no joke).

As for the top rung of a ladder, just convince someone else to do it... that always works.

 

[Lynx]

Refer to the poodle's reply in the DOGS post. It always worked for my mother, especially when she wanted her tires aired up. "I just park by the air pump at a gas station and look feminine and helpless and some guy always does it for me." She knows perfectly well how to do it herself...

 

[Charcoal]

TEENS: Only One. They simply hold the bulb and the universe revolved around them, so it magically screws itself into the socket.


IN THE CHURCH AUDITORIUM: Five, plus some observers typically.
The auditorium at my church was designed without planning for maintenance. Scissors lifts are too short to reach nearly all the bulbs. Fortunately, the fire station one block over has a ladder that Almost reaches nearly every bulb. So one of the members who happens to work at that station goes and borrows the ladder...and then the fun begins. We tie the middle or two very long ropes to the top of the ladder, which leaves four equal lengths of rope hanging off. then four men stand back and apply enough tension to hold the ladder perfectly still while sticking straight up in the air leaning against nothing. The fireman-church member climbs the ladder and changes the bulb. For the ones that he can't reach, be sits on the top rung, locks his legs in from opposite directions, then uses one of those telescoping poles with the special widget for changing light bulbs they sell. You can see how this would be worth watching.

 

[Trailblazer]

Now with being so overwhelmed with my knowledge of the light bulb, and the involvement that some go through
to change a light bulb.
As I stand on the top of my own ladder. I ponder at it with total amazement. I think to myself.
Which way do I turn the light bulb to remove it.

That would be to the left, or counter clockwise. Thats If anyone really needs to know. For you do not want to break one off in its socket. The part it screws into.

 

[Roh_Chris]

Now with being so overwhelmed with my knowledge of the light bulb, and the involvement that some go through
to change a light bulb.
As I stand on the top of my own ladder. I ponder at it with total amazement. I think to myself.
Which way do I turn the light bulb to remove it.

That would be to the left, or counter clockwise. Thats If anyone really needs to know. For you do not want to break one off in its socket. The part it screws into.

I can imagine how this is going to confuse a left handed person. It can be difficult for him/her to turn counter-clockwise.

 

[Lynx]

TEENS: Only One. They simply hold the bulb and the universe revolved around them, so it magically screws itself into the socket.


IN THE CHURCH AUDITORIUM: Five, plus some observers typically.
The auditorium at my church was designed without planning for maintenance. Scissors lifts are too short to reach nearly all the bulbs. Fortunately, the fire station one block over has a ladder that Almost reaches nearly every bulb. So one of the members who happens to work at that station goes and borrows the ladder...and then the fun begins. We tie the middle or two very long ropes to the top of the ladder, which leaves four equal lengths of rope hanging off. then four men stand back and apply enough tension to hold the ladder perfectly still while sticking straight up in the air leaning against nothing. The fireman-church member climbs the ladder and changes the bulb. For the ones that he can't reach, be sits on the top rung, locks his legs in from opposite directions, then uses one of those telescoping poles with the special widget for changing light bulbs they sell. You can see how this would be worth watching.

So... who's the lucky guy who gets to climb the ladder that is resting on nothing?

I would be one of the spectators. I'm not going up that ladder and I'm not having the responsibility of keeping that thing steady while some other poor sucker... er, soldier is up there.