Why are you still single? Answers we wish we could give.
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C
ANSWER I CAN NOW GIVE:
...because for two years I only casually knew the person whom I have lately come to be quite smitten with, and neither of us want to rush anything, but we've begun talking daily and are willing to patiently see what unfolds. (If you're curious to know more, please do not derail this thread.)
...because for two years I only casually knew the person whom I have lately come to be quite smitten with, and neither of us want to rush anything, but we've begun talking daily and are willing to patiently see what unfolds. (If you're curious to know more, please do not derail this thread.)
Your comment about your rom-com collection reminded me of this.
Calvin and Hobbes Comic Strip, January 06, 1995 on GoComics.com
Calvin and Hobbes Comic Strip, January 06, 1995 on GoComics.com
K
Two reasons...
1 I believe in soul mates. I believe God purposely put Eve with Adam and Rebekah with Isaac- He didn't put Rebekah with Adam. For years when I pictured my soul mate I never seen his face- just like his arm as I hugged him, until I met a man that matched the personality I had envisioned. But he turned me away because I wasn't ready.
2 I'm not ready. I have goals I need to accomplish first before I can be all that he needs me to be, and deserves me to be. I have to fix my teeth, my weight, and my finances. But I have accomplished keeping my house spotless and organized, I don't drink smoke or swear, maturity, submissiveness, a heart that serves, and allowing myself to be vulnerable- it's easier to get hurt but a heart that hides for fear of getting hurt can't truly love. My heart is open for him whether I get hurt or not, or whether he ever accepts me or not- because he is the one and he is worth it.
I don't know when or if it will happen for me, but I would rather be single than marry someone who is not my soul mate. I would rather wait than settle.
1 I believe in soul mates. I believe God purposely put Eve with Adam and Rebekah with Isaac- He didn't put Rebekah with Adam. For years when I pictured my soul mate I never seen his face- just like his arm as I hugged him, until I met a man that matched the personality I had envisioned. But he turned me away because I wasn't ready.
2 I'm not ready. I have goals I need to accomplish first before I can be all that he needs me to be, and deserves me to be. I have to fix my teeth, my weight, and my finances. But I have accomplished keeping my house spotless and organized, I don't drink smoke or swear, maturity, submissiveness, a heart that serves, and allowing myself to be vulnerable- it's easier to get hurt but a heart that hides for fear of getting hurt can't truly love. My heart is open for him whether I get hurt or not, or whether he ever accepts me or not- because he is the one and he is worth it.
I don't know when or if it will happen for me, but I would rather be single than marry someone who is not my soul mate. I would rather wait than settle.
Lynx, I've decided the answer you should give should be something along the lines of you haven't found a woman who is willing to support your calvin and hobbes addiction yet
I do think one answer that is semi legitimate is this - churches can often become Christian ghettos, in the sense that most of the Christians you are in regular contact with (particularly if you are involved in local ministry) are probably at your church, and unless you're in a large church, that can be a small pool of people of an similar age in total, and perhaps an even smaller pool that would date you.
Another thing I think of is this - as much as we should only really date people who hit the baseline facts of potential marriage - (opposite sex, Christian, not a complete psychopath), I do wonder whether we don't overly conflate dating with courtship/engagement/marriage. Why, particularly in evangelical culture, is it increasingly uncommon (if not outright unacceptable) for people to 'date' other Christians without it being essentially and immediately paving the road to potential marriage with that particular person?
Is it acceptable to go out on a date with someone without instantly being in a serious relationship with that person. Is it possible for Christians to go on dates with multiple people in a relatively short period of time, conducting in all godliness, but not assuming by any one of those dates that one is in an immediate situation. Is a requirement for a date actually "I could see myself spending the rest of my life with this particular person?" When people reply with "I don't really see us being in a relationship", does that come out of a biblical perspective on dating, or is that a part of our Christian 'culture' of what dating is?
Perhaps that is all a little off topic and should be in its own thread, but it's something I've been wondering about.
To steer on topic, perhaps what I honestly want to say to people that ask is, "Because I often wonder whether we've made a church culture that makes it very difficult for people to get a sense of what a relationship is, and whether they want to be single or not, and understand what each involves?"
Sometimes I also want to say, "Because I'm terrible with women"
Or, "Issues"
But usually I shrug my soldiers, put on a half funny, half apologetic grin, and say something about how I'm too busy for that kind of thing (which is semi-true as well, I suppose).
Another thing I think of is this - as much as we should only really date people who hit the baseline facts of potential marriage - (opposite sex, Christian, not a complete psychopath), I do wonder whether we don't overly conflate dating with courtship/engagement/marriage. Why, particularly in evangelical culture, is it increasingly uncommon (if not outright unacceptable) for people to 'date' other Christians without it being essentially and immediately paving the road to potential marriage with that particular person?
Is it acceptable to go out on a date with someone without instantly being in a serious relationship with that person. Is it possible for Christians to go on dates with multiple people in a relatively short period of time, conducting in all godliness, but not assuming by any one of those dates that one is in an immediate situation. Is a requirement for a date actually "I could see myself spending the rest of my life with this particular person?" When people reply with "I don't really see us being in a relationship", does that come out of a biblical perspective on dating, or is that a part of our Christian 'culture' of what dating is?
Perhaps that is all a little off topic and should be in its own thread, but it's something I've been wondering about.
To steer on topic
, perhaps what I honestly want to say to people that ask is, "Because I often wonder whether we've made a church culture that makes it very difficult for people to get a sense of what a relationship is, and whether they want to be single or not, and understand what each involves?"Sometimes I also want to say, "Because I'm terrible with women"
Or, "Issues"
But usually I shrug my soldiers, put on a half funny, half apologetic grin, and say something about how I'm too busy for that kind of thing (which is semi-true as well, I suppose).
Sometimes I also want to say, "Because I'm terrible with women"
If you scan the threads on CC Singles Forum, there is one by the title "You're such a flirt" by hoss2576. Go to post #22 by Inu where she has given 5 of the flirt lines used on her. I recommend line #3 or line #2. If you are tempted to try line #5, please do that after calling for an ambulance.
The biggest challenge is 'breaking the ice' when you approach a girl. Using a smart line could help you thaw the ice. But thereafter you are on your own.
I
Fret not, my brother. This is an area where the CC Singles Forum can help you.
If you scan the threads on CC Singles Forum, there is one by the title "You're such a flirt" by hoss2576. Go to post #22 by Inu where she has given 5 of the flirt lines used on her. I recommend line #3 or line #2. If you are tempted to try line #5, please do that after calling for an ambulance.
The biggest challenge is 'breaking the ice' when you approach a girl. Using a smart line could help you thaw the ice. But thereafter you are on your own.
If you scan the threads on CC Singles Forum, there is one by the title "You're such a flirt" by hoss2576. Go to post #22 by Inu where she has given 5 of the flirt lines used on her. I recommend line #3 or line #2. If you are tempted to try line #5, please do that after calling for an ambulance.
The biggest challenge is 'breaking the ice' when you approach a girl. Using a smart line could help you thaw the ice. But thereafter you are on your own.
Fret not, my brother. This is an area where the CC Singles Forum can help you.
If you scan the threads on CC Singles Forum, there is one by the title "You're such a flirt" by hoss2576. Go to post #22 by Inu where she has given 5 of the flirt lines used on her. I recommend line #3 or line #2. If you are tempted to try line #5, please do that after calling for an ambulance.
The biggest challenge is 'breaking the ice' when you approach a girl. Using a smart line could help you thaw the ice. But thereafter you are on your own.
If you scan the threads on CC Singles Forum, there is one by the title "You're such a flirt" by hoss2576. Go to post #22 by Inu where she has given 5 of the flirt lines used on her. I recommend line #3 or line #2. If you are tempted to try line #5, please do that after calling for an ambulance.
The biggest challenge is 'breaking the ice' when you approach a girl. Using a smart line could help you thaw the ice. But thereafter you are on your own.
H
Acceptable answer: I don't have any interest in that.
Real answer:
-I don't like to argue
-I don't like to sit around and have really loooong drawn out conversations about stuff. I've got like a 20 minute attention span. After that i don't even know what you're saying.
-I don't like being called every 5 minutes.
-I don't want to be pressured into talking about something if i don't want to.
- I just want to watch the National Geographic channel and eat cookies.
-I'm 2 years away from completely letting myself go.. soooo close. Dating would ruin that!
-What would i even do on a date?
Real answer:
-I don't like to argue
-I don't like to sit around and have really loooong drawn out conversations about stuff. I've got like a 20 minute attention span. After that i don't even know what you're saying.
-I don't like being called every 5 minutes.
-I don't want to be pressured into talking about something if i don't want to.
- I just want to watch the National Geographic channel and eat cookies.
-I'm 2 years away from completely letting myself go.. soooo close. Dating would ruin that!
-What would i even do on a date?
