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So I started that thread about being thankful for when the Lord says no after seeing some questions my best friend's husband had shared over facebook. I sensed that he was expressing an exasperation with Christianity in general. I've been praying for him.
This weekend I hung out with his wife (my best friend) and found out that he's not the only one who feels that way.. she is too. I know people go through different seasons in life, but the speed and extent of this turnaround is alarming. This weekend, my best friend looked across the table at me and said "I don't hate God.. but I don't love Him, either. I mean, I'm starting to doubt that He's real. I've lost all motivation to pray.. I mean, what's the point of it all?"
These words came out of the mouth of the same young woman who has been a source of spiritual encouragement for me for the past six years. Out of all my girlfriends, none has been more faithful in pointing me to Christ, praying with/for me, and encouraging my walk with the Lord. I did not see this coming, but looking back, I guess it adds up. She stopped attending church over the summer because people were literally harassing her when they found that some people were invited to her wedding and others were not. (hello, you can't invite every single person you know..) The plan was to find a new church together after the wedding, but then her husband started working a job with a very odd schedule that included Sunday mornings. She kept telling me they were hoping to find a church that had Saturday night services, so I didn't worry too much.
This weekend was when she declined my invitation to come to church with me, since we we had plans to hangout right after the service anyway. That's when I realized that it wasn't just her husband's schedule that was keeping her away from church -- she really just didn't want to go.
I have to admit that I'm concerned. When she spoke to me, it didn't sound like my friend. She literally sounded like a different person. The only thing I'm thankful for right now is that our friendship is so strong that she still receives my words with an open mind. I was able to share some of my thoughts regarding her questions and I could tell that she wasn't shutting me out. I pray that I can keep this up -- speaking truth into her life without making her feel like I'm "trying to fix her". I don't want to fix her, but she has questions and I hope I can shed some light on them by simply sharing some of my own experiences with her.
Is it weird that I feel like God is trying to teach me something? First there was my brother - dating an unbeliever and showing signs of falling away from the Lord. Then there was my parents - they're making baby steps in the right direction now, but they did come dangerously close to completely falling apart. Now my best friend is on the fence about Christianity. All these things have made me worry so much.. but they've also motivated me to think about some really tough subjects. I feel like I've learned more about what it means to nurture my relationship with Christ this year than I ever have in all my years of being a Christian combined.
Though it makes me nervous to say this.. I'm thankful for the opportunity to learn these things. I'm thankful that despite (or because of?) the circumstances, I have been pushed to pray more, study the Word more, and press deeper into Christ. He is good, and I know His plans are good. I guess all I can do now is keep on trusting Him.
This weekend I hung out with his wife (my best friend) and found out that he's not the only one who feels that way.. she is too. I know people go through different seasons in life, but the speed and extent of this turnaround is alarming. This weekend, my best friend looked across the table at me and said "I don't hate God.. but I don't love Him, either. I mean, I'm starting to doubt that He's real. I've lost all motivation to pray.. I mean, what's the point of it all?"
These words came out of the mouth of the same young woman who has been a source of spiritual encouragement for me for the past six years. Out of all my girlfriends, none has been more faithful in pointing me to Christ, praying with/for me, and encouraging my walk with the Lord. I did not see this coming, but looking back, I guess it adds up. She stopped attending church over the summer because people were literally harassing her when they found that some people were invited to her wedding and others were not. (hello, you can't invite every single person you know..) The plan was to find a new church together after the wedding, but then her husband started working a job with a very odd schedule that included Sunday mornings. She kept telling me they were hoping to find a church that had Saturday night services, so I didn't worry too much.
This weekend was when she declined my invitation to come to church with me, since we we had plans to hangout right after the service anyway. That's when I realized that it wasn't just her husband's schedule that was keeping her away from church -- she really just didn't want to go.
I have to admit that I'm concerned. When she spoke to me, it didn't sound like my friend. She literally sounded like a different person. The only thing I'm thankful for right now is that our friendship is so strong that she still receives my words with an open mind. I was able to share some of my thoughts regarding her questions and I could tell that she wasn't shutting me out. I pray that I can keep this up -- speaking truth into her life without making her feel like I'm "trying to fix her". I don't want to fix her, but she has questions and I hope I can shed some light on them by simply sharing some of my own experiences with her.
Is it weird that I feel like God is trying to teach me something? First there was my brother - dating an unbeliever and showing signs of falling away from the Lord. Then there was my parents - they're making baby steps in the right direction now, but they did come dangerously close to completely falling apart. Now my best friend is on the fence about Christianity. All these things have made me worry so much.. but they've also motivated me to think about some really tough subjects. I feel like I've learned more about what it means to nurture my relationship with Christ this year than I ever have in all my years of being a Christian combined.
Though it makes me nervous to say this.. I'm thankful for the opportunity to learn these things. I'm thankful that despite (or because of?) the circumstances, I have been pushed to pray more, study the Word more, and press deeper into Christ. He is good, and I know His plans are good. I guess all I can do now is keep on trusting Him.
Wow Love... you've really had a "growth" year haven't you? All of these MAJOR things happening, and the Lord using you instrumentally in each one to love others and glorify him, is both an honor and a weight. I'm going to be praying for God to continue to use you, to speak through you, and to show his love to these people through you. Pursue your friend. I'm praying for her heart to soften, her faith to strengthen, and for her and her husband to find a church home STAT.
***HUGS***
***HUGS***
For real, Love, continue to seek God so that not only you will be strengthened in Him, but others will will find Him through you. That may be a lesson, too... How easily we forget and fall away... "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
Anyway, semi-unrelated piggy back off my response in RESPECT (find out what it means to me...)... I was lying here wondering about a few things. Do we really love someone, or do we love an idea or role that whoever the person may be is filling? I think I knOw a lot of people who 'love' based on certain requirements being met, but is that love? Would you love a person who doesn't fit that mold? I think there's a difference. Similarly, I was wondering if we really love and want God. Many people, I think, want to escape hell or like the idea of eternal paradise, freedom from suffering, etc... But what about God?
Your house isn't your home because of the stuff...it's your family. The people you live with, love, and care about who live with, love, and care about you. Similarly, Heaven is heaven because God is there, and hell is hell because it's the one place God is not. That's something to think about...
So, I want to know and love God. I want to know and love a woman... Not just to meet some need or role, but because of that person specifically...and my choice, desire, work, etc...to love them...to really love them. You know?
Anyway, semi-unrelated piggy back off my response in RESPECT (find out what it means to me...)... I was lying here wondering about a few things. Do we really love someone, or do we love an idea or role that whoever the person may be is filling? I think I knOw a lot of people who 'love' based on certain requirements being met, but is that love? Would you love a person who doesn't fit that mold? I think there's a difference. Similarly, I was wondering if we really love and want God. Many people, I think, want to escape hell or like the idea of eternal paradise, freedom from suffering, etc... But what about God?
Your house isn't your home because of the stuff...it's your family. The people you live with, love, and care about who live with, love, and care about you. Similarly, Heaven is heaven because God is there, and hell is hell because it's the one place God is not. That's something to think about...
So, I want to know and love God. I want to know and love a woman... Not just to meet some need or role, but because of that person specifically...and my choice, desire, work, etc...to love them...to really love them. You know?
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M
My light therapy box got here almost a week ago, and I've been using it every morning for thirty minutes. I sit with my face turned towards it, and try not to look at it because whoa, it's bright. Um...like sun light, kinda...imagine that. Anyway, I think it's helping, a little so far. I think I'm supposed to use it for longer periods of time, but I can only get by with half an hour before my kids are up and demanding weird stuff like...breakfast, or juice, or...you know, diapers or cartoons...(Note: the last time I said my kid was "demanding" something in one of my posts, I was informed that I'm doing a poor parenting job. To avoid such annoying assumptions, when I say my kids are "demanding" things, I'm j.o.k.i.n.g. and only mean they're hungry or asking for stuff...exuberantly...)
So last night, I had a dream about my dad, that he was still with my mom, but we were all the ages we are now...and we were going on a family vacation in an RV, except that we never really got that far, we just ended up sitting in my grandmother's garage, which isn't even actually a garage but just a little work shop, and my dad was sitting and working on some crazy metal project like he used to do when I was little, but he wouldn't talk to me, so I was mostly just taking care of my kids, who weren't actually in the dream...
I dunno, my brain does weird stuff when I'm sleeping. What am I saying? My brain does weird stuff when I'm awake.
I was thinking how ungrateful I am, a lot. About this house, how it's so small, how it's falling apart, how the washing machine is in the basement and how the dryer is way out in the garage which makes doing laundry a serious pain in the rear end, and how the kitchen is tiny and...I just realized I complain a lot about what a lot of people haven't got to complain about. The folks who sleep under bridges would call me spoiled if they could hear me, and I guess I have that spoiled kind of attitude sometimes- Yeah, I've got a roof over my head (and it doesn't even leak), but it's not the roof I'd like to have. That's messed up, and it's not even really that I'm not grateful for it- but more that I've forgotten what it was like to live in a tent, or in a place where the roof was caving in slowly and the floor was collapsing and drug dealers and meth heads would randomly knock on my door (that didn't even close all the way, let alone lock) late at night. I get a little bored in this town of 60 people, where the most exciting thing that happens is a chili dinner at the community center or a wild animal getting into the horse trailer where the meat processing place up the street keeps the deer hides, or someone gets arrested at the store for parking the wrong direction.
...when I put it that way, I have no right to be bored. I could actually go to the chili dinners. I could hunt the critters that get into the deer hides (actually, come to think of it, half the time it's probably one or more of my cats...). I could be grateful to live in a place that gives me oddball stories to share here.
Coffee consumption has been cut in half, and I feel a lot better for it.
...my head is all jumbled today...
So last night, I had a dream about my dad, that he was still with my mom, but we were all the ages we are now...and we were going on a family vacation in an RV, except that we never really got that far, we just ended up sitting in my grandmother's garage, which isn't even actually a garage but just a little work shop, and my dad was sitting and working on some crazy metal project like he used to do when I was little, but he wouldn't talk to me, so I was mostly just taking care of my kids, who weren't actually in the dream...
I dunno, my brain does weird stuff when I'm sleeping. What am I saying? My brain does weird stuff when I'm awake.
I was thinking how ungrateful I am, a lot. About this house, how it's so small, how it's falling apart, how the washing machine is in the basement and how the dryer is way out in the garage which makes doing laundry a serious pain in the rear end, and how the kitchen is tiny and...I just realized I complain a lot about what a lot of people haven't got to complain about. The folks who sleep under bridges would call me spoiled if they could hear me, and I guess I have that spoiled kind of attitude sometimes- Yeah, I've got a roof over my head (and it doesn't even leak), but it's not the roof I'd like to have. That's messed up, and it's not even really that I'm not grateful for it- but more that I've forgotten what it was like to live in a tent, or in a place where the roof was caving in slowly and the floor was collapsing and drug dealers and meth heads would randomly knock on my door (that didn't even close all the way, let alone lock) late at night. I get a little bored in this town of 60 people, where the most exciting thing that happens is a chili dinner at the community center or a wild animal getting into the horse trailer where the meat processing place up the street keeps the deer hides, or someone gets arrested at the store for parking the wrong direction.
...when I put it that way, I have no right to be bored. I could actually go to the chili dinners. I could hunt the critters that get into the deer hides (actually, come to think of it, half the time it's probably one or more of my cats...). I could be grateful to live in a place that gives me oddball stories to share here.
Coffee consumption has been cut in half, and I feel a lot better for it.
...my head is all jumbled today...
You know I really appreciate that aspect of Asian culture - as I am Asian, I've been made aware of this kind of teaching too.
We are taught to value what we have because we keep in mind people who are going through so much hunger and poverty. Not wasting food is not giving to anyone but it is cherishing and honouring what God has given us and being mindful of it.
I cannot in good conscience buy tons of food and leave them to rot because I know right nearby is someone who probably doesn't even have three meals a day.
Wasting food doesn't help anyone either just as much as being mindful and judicious with what we have. Most leftovers get thrown away as garbage anyway.
However it's the attitude and the principle that matters.
So, yeah. Thanks for mentioning that Shouryu.
My Father In Law saved EVERYTHING, he had a horrible time throwing anything away. Including food. I believe he was young during the depression and lived through that, he also served in WWII, he went for days without eating. He passed this trait along to my Husband. I've had to stop my husband from eating things that I know will make him sick. He goes through the fridge at least once a week and will eat most of the left overs. Good thing, but he'll eat anything, not so good, yuck. He doesn't hoard, but he has a very difficult time giving things away or disposing of them.
His Mom and I discuss how this was how his father was as well.
This is going to sound weird but my thing I hoard is toilet paper, I don't steal it, but I make sure we have a stock pile, growing up with a big family we always ran out of it. So even if there is at least two weeks worth of it, I like more than that, just in case. I know it's weird, but I think we all have some kind of quirk we get from our families.
M
After spending lots of time on this when I should have been taking a nap or raking leaves...here's what my phone comes up with when I enter the first 2 or 3 letters...
gypsygirl
zaoman
zeroturbulencePipp
kenthomas
Ugly's
Fenner
LoveneverfailsPipp
Seoulsearch's
Y'all are trapped in my phone.
Muahahaha
gypsygirl
zaoman
zeroturbulencePipp
kenthomas
Ugly's
Fenner
LoveneverfailsPipp
Seoulsearch's
Y'all are trapped in my phone.
Muahahaha
H
Just noticing that this page is full of girls and one boy,all are young and could be my children or grand children. I miss my family in the USA, and wish and pray to see them someday. All are professed christians except one son. All do not want to see me. Pray for them to have a loving and forgiving heart; I was a very angry father. Love Hoffco.