Hello everyone,
Today I went to run a few errands and as some of you know, I tend to park a bit of a distance from wherever I'm going in order to sneak in a little extra exercise. I had picked up a few groceries and was sitting in my car with the windows rolled down about an inch, answering a text from someone I hadn't heard from in a long time.
Right as I was finishing, I happened to glance up through the window, and lo and behold, a man about my age was standing there. As soon as I looked up, he held up a flyer and said, "Ma'am, would you..." Startled, I abruptly rolled up my windows (my doors were already locked--that's the first thing I do when I get into my car) and replied loudly through the window, "Please don't," and started my car. I had caught a few words of the flyer he'd been holding up--he was soliciting money for something like a kid's soccer team. I was not raised to be rude, but the older I get, the more blunt I become. And to tell you the truth, it made me pretty doggone angry.
One of the new challenges I'm facing in my life is living in an area where solicitations are literally everywhere. Despite being a small town, every corner has someone standing there with a sign and a hand out nearly touching your window. Regulars even fight over the "best" corners, two of which are located at the plaza where I work. If you gave to everyone, you would go broke within an hour, depending on how much money you have. I was giving out quarters to every Salvation Army ringer I saw in 2 hours of running errands and I'd already gone through $5 (which is a lot when I allow myself $20 in gas money each week.)
I have the privilege of knowing and regularly speaking with a social worker in this area who has told me much about the local homeless and panhandlers here. She told me that many do not want real help, and told me a story about handing out care packages to the local homeless. One man refused to accept it because it contained 3-blade razors and he said he only uses a very specific brand of 4-blade razors. I had found this type of behavior when I worked at a few soup kitchens as well--I was shocked at how many of our guests, who were receiving a FREE meal, complained that all we had was chicken and they wanted ribs.
I don't want to judge people, nor do I want to overlook those in need. But my personal preference is to give to an organization, rather than an individual who walks into my space and, quite frankly, makes me feel unsafe.
I went to college in a relatively "safe" area. But even there, one girl was kidnapped by gunpoint in a large shopping area I used to go to every week. My then-husband told me that from now on, I was to wait until he could go grocery shopping with me. Likewise, a girl was grabbed and nearly stuffed into a car in the parking lot of our favorite coffee shop hangout.
I struggle with myself over how best to help others... but protecting my own safety as well. I DO NOT like it when men I don't know approach me or my car AT ALL for ANY reason. Now if the guy was trying to tell me I had a flat tire, I would understand that. But when someone wants something... it always makes me afraid.
I'm certainly not trying to say I'm afraid of the world. I've flown to France by myself and spent entire days, from 8 in the morning until midnight, at crowded theme parks, by myself. And it's certainly not that I fear all men (though I just found out a former boss of mine was recently fired for sexual harassment, which was no surprise.) I am very blessed to have had wonderful, Godly men in my life who were true gentlemen. I actually get even more nervous when women try to solicit me because I've found they can be even bolder.
But there are certain situations in which, as a single woman, I do feel vulnerable. What have the rest of you experienced? Ladies, do you often feel scared for your own safety? Gentlemen, do you ever find yourself feeling leery in such situations, or do you feel pretty confident you can take care of yourself? If you knew your girlfriend or wife was approached in such a manner, how would you react?
The entire time this man was trying to talk to me, I kept thinking about the safety hammer and scissors I have in my car (I have them in case I were ever in an accident in which I had to break the glass or cut through my seat belt) and I would not have been afraid to pick them up and take a swing if he had tried to force his hand through the crack in my window before I had noticed. Yes, I realize the better thing would probably be to just start the car and drive away but when your mind starts to panic, it goes in all sorts of directions.
What do you think? Paranoia... or a natural sense of self-protection?
Today I went to run a few errands and as some of you know, I tend to park a bit of a distance from wherever I'm going in order to sneak in a little extra exercise. I had picked up a few groceries and was sitting in my car with the windows rolled down about an inch, answering a text from someone I hadn't heard from in a long time.
Right as I was finishing, I happened to glance up through the window, and lo and behold, a man about my age was standing there. As soon as I looked up, he held up a flyer and said, "Ma'am, would you..." Startled, I abruptly rolled up my windows (my doors were already locked--that's the first thing I do when I get into my car) and replied loudly through the window, "Please don't," and started my car. I had caught a few words of the flyer he'd been holding up--he was soliciting money for something like a kid's soccer team. I was not raised to be rude, but the older I get, the more blunt I become. And to tell you the truth, it made me pretty doggone angry.
One of the new challenges I'm facing in my life is living in an area where solicitations are literally everywhere. Despite being a small town, every corner has someone standing there with a sign and a hand out nearly touching your window. Regulars even fight over the "best" corners, two of which are located at the plaza where I work. If you gave to everyone, you would go broke within an hour, depending on how much money you have. I was giving out quarters to every Salvation Army ringer I saw in 2 hours of running errands and I'd already gone through $5 (which is a lot when I allow myself $20 in gas money each week.)
I have the privilege of knowing and regularly speaking with a social worker in this area who has told me much about the local homeless and panhandlers here. She told me that many do not want real help, and told me a story about handing out care packages to the local homeless. One man refused to accept it because it contained 3-blade razors and he said he only uses a very specific brand of 4-blade razors. I had found this type of behavior when I worked at a few soup kitchens as well--I was shocked at how many of our guests, who were receiving a FREE meal, complained that all we had was chicken and they wanted ribs.
I don't want to judge people, nor do I want to overlook those in need. But my personal preference is to give to an organization, rather than an individual who walks into my space and, quite frankly, makes me feel unsafe.
I went to college in a relatively "safe" area. But even there, one girl was kidnapped by gunpoint in a large shopping area I used to go to every week. My then-husband told me that from now on, I was to wait until he could go grocery shopping with me. Likewise, a girl was grabbed and nearly stuffed into a car in the parking lot of our favorite coffee shop hangout.
I struggle with myself over how best to help others... but protecting my own safety as well. I DO NOT like it when men I don't know approach me or my car AT ALL for ANY reason. Now if the guy was trying to tell me I had a flat tire, I would understand that. But when someone wants something... it always makes me afraid.
I'm certainly not trying to say I'm afraid of the world. I've flown to France by myself and spent entire days, from 8 in the morning until midnight, at crowded theme parks, by myself. And it's certainly not that I fear all men (though I just found out a former boss of mine was recently fired for sexual harassment, which was no surprise.) I am very blessed to have had wonderful, Godly men in my life who were true gentlemen. I actually get even more nervous when women try to solicit me because I've found they can be even bolder.
But there are certain situations in which, as a single woman, I do feel vulnerable. What have the rest of you experienced? Ladies, do you often feel scared for your own safety? Gentlemen, do you ever find yourself feeling leery in such situations, or do you feel pretty confident you can take care of yourself? If you knew your girlfriend or wife was approached in such a manner, how would you react?
The entire time this man was trying to talk to me, I kept thinking about the safety hammer and scissors I have in my car (I have them in case I were ever in an accident in which I had to break the glass or cut through my seat belt) and I would not have been afraid to pick them up and take a swing if he had tried to force his hand through the crack in my window before I had noticed. Yes, I realize the better thing would probably be to just start the car and drive away but when your mind starts to panic, it goes in all sorts of directions.
What do you think? Paranoia... or a natural sense of self-protection?
.
