I'm just excited for you, because now that you've made it to where you feel the lowest point, God can lift you up now, you can live through His strength. You have to get in His word though to make it possible, He lives in His Word and us. Bro, I'm sure He has the perfect women for you, He just has to make you whole again, like how you were at ten or so, you didn't care about none of those things, the world thrust that stuff on us bro, what to wear, what to look like, how much money we should have, what kind of house and car we have, none of it really matters, and you don't want a fast girl that just wants a baby with you because of what you got, then burn out the door to leave you on child support. you will find your other half when you find out who you are, your a son of royalty, King of Kings, you hear me! Just get in the word, God will work the rest out, I'm sure of this, it might not happen when you want, but I just thank God your here to soak in what people here are saying. Everything else will fall in place on His time, thanks for listening Dom, I'll pray that you seek Him, God bless.. Ps, they have free online Bibles if you can't get your hands on one.