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Prayer, prayer, and more prayer. Being able to talk to someone specific about it (someone who is non-judgmental and able to hold you accountable) would also help tremendously. However, you rule your own actions, not the other way around. So it is largely up to you to make the decision to end the habit/addiction.
K
Start with praying to God in Jesus name to have His Holy Spirit help you in this endeavor.
The next thing I would tell you is if it is possible for you, have a friend put a block on your computer with a password only they know. Also most new TV have a password block on parental settings, have them put a block on your TV as well. Then the other thing I would suggest is if you have a smartphone downgrade to a standard phone that can not access full internet. I know some of this may sound childish, but if it is that bad of an issue in your life it could lead to even worse issues. Plus the bible says it is better to go by things in a child's eyes then the way we have been.
God bless and may God guide to turn from your issue.
The next thing I would tell you is if it is possible for you, have a friend put a block on your computer with a password only they know. Also most new TV have a password block on parental settings, have them put a block on your TV as well. Then the other thing I would suggest is if you have a smartphone downgrade to a standard phone that can not access full internet. I know some of this may sound childish, but if it is that bad of an issue in your life it could lead to even worse issues. Plus the bible says it is better to go by things in a child's eyes then the way we have been.
God bless and may God guide to turn from your issue.
K
I can't be a hypocrite, just as you turn to that I turn to food for pleasure and stress relief. I guess we need to do the same thing- realize that it doesn't solve our problems. We both need to go to the root in our minds and change the way we're thinking. You know, there is no love in lust. Have you sought a wife that you could love and would love you back? Wouldn't it be a load off your conscience if it was spiritually legal with no guilt attatched? Then you would see that other stuff as it really is- trash. The saying is also true spiritually- you are what you eat. If you don't want to feel like garbage, quit feeding on garbage. I know this is easier said than done, but we both know all things are possible with the Lord who strengthens us. This year I'm going to try really hard to lose weight, when I get home from vacation.
M
I have been "search-free," as far as all of that goes, only since August. I want to celebrate a year next summer. Having a brother hold you accountable doesn't work all the time. It is all about your will. I have learned to laugh off the urges, but sometimes I flirt with the idea.
I keep a dozen tabs open, each a different article that I intentionally do not finish reading right away, something that interests me: new music, new discovery, new word, etc., so that when I go to my browser with the urge to commit, I am confronted by all this new info that I enjoy reading.
I am lifting it to God on a 24-hour basis. The key is to not be hesitant when giving Him the burden, something I have yet to master, but I somehow stumble through. Little openings that let you escape your own self. I pray you break through.
I keep a dozen tabs open, each a different article that I intentionally do not finish reading right away, something that interests me: new music, new discovery, new word, etc., so that when I go to my browser with the urge to commit, I am confronted by all this new info that I enjoy reading.
I am lifting it to God on a 24-hour basis. The key is to not be hesitant when giving Him the burden, something I have yet to master, but I somehow stumble through. Little openings that let you escape your own self. I pray you break through.
really?
or maybe he is just a normal teenage boy with hormones who finds women attractive.
The church seems incapable of knowing how to deal with sex, you are taught that being gay is wrong, but you also are taught that having any thoughts or attraction to the opposite sex is wrong as well. This is why men grow up so confused in churches too timid to approach women.
I know it did for me, I grew up basically terrified of females thinking any attraction to them was wrong and sinful and one of them was going to tempt me into having sex if I ever got near them. That was the worst sin basically in the church, sex before marriage.
There's like this concept that is preached in church you should be asexual till you are married.
or maybe he is just a normal teenage boy with hormones who finds women attractive.
The church seems incapable of knowing how to deal with sex, you are taught that being gay is wrong, but you also are taught that having any thoughts or attraction to the opposite sex is wrong as well. This is why men grow up so confused in churches too timid to approach women.
I know it did for me, I grew up basically terrified of females thinking any attraction to them was wrong and sinful and one of them was going to tempt me into having sex if I ever got near them. That was the worst sin basically in the church, sex before marriage.
There's like this concept that is preached in church you should be asexual till you are married.
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I believe the OP is specifically talking about pornography, and there is a difference between pornography and simple attraction and appreciation. There is also a difference between attraction and lust. I will be the first to admit that some churches have historically handled the concept of sex poorly; however, we are talking about several different things.
D
You say the Church seems incapable about how to deal with sex? Why don't they read the Good Book to find out what to do? How to deal with sex IS in there!
On preaching asexuality until marriage, yeah, I tend to see that also. So, shouldn't the Church encourage and help these single people get married because of these sexual temptations? Yeah, we shouldn't be as so uptight about sex as in the Victorian era (something Billy Graham said), but still, because this world is treating sex like beer and seemingly offering everyone a free sample, shouldn't the Church do something to help those who are tempted?
First of all, the Church needs to teach that appreciating physical attraction is not a sin. I am interacting with a girl I really like, and one of the things that was physically attracting to me was the fact that she wore a skirt instead of pants. I see that as quite classy.
Secondly, for those who are struggling with sexual sin, they should first lead them away from the sources of temptation (Matthew 5:29). Justin, this is the FIRST thing you should do after prayer. I'm not saying your right eye is to blame (nor am I saying it's not), but perhaps something deeper, as Sirk says.
Thirdly, they should lead these people towards marriage. (I Corinthians 7:9) They should reach out to all the single Christians and their families and help them get spouses. I know it sounds weird, but I'm basing this on the Bible. In addition, they should not chastise those who say they want to get married to have sex. This post is a perfect example of why.
On preaching asexuality until marriage, yeah, I tend to see that also. So, shouldn't the Church encourage and help these single people get married because of these sexual temptations? Yeah, we shouldn't be as so uptight about sex as in the Victorian era (something Billy Graham said), but still, because this world is treating sex like beer and seemingly offering everyone a free sample, shouldn't the Church do something to help those who are tempted?
First of all, the Church needs to teach that appreciating physical attraction is not a sin. I am interacting with a girl I really like, and one of the things that was physically attracting to me was the fact that she wore a skirt instead of pants. I see that as quite classy.
Secondly, for those who are struggling with sexual sin, they should first lead them away from the sources of temptation (Matthew 5:29). Justin, this is the FIRST thing you should do after prayer. I'm not saying your right eye is to blame (nor am I saying it's not), but perhaps something deeper, as Sirk says.
Thirdly, they should lead these people towards marriage. (I Corinthians 7:9) They should reach out to all the single Christians and their families and help them get spouses. I know it sounds weird, but I'm basing this on the Bible. In addition, they should not chastise those who say they want to get married to have sex. This post is a perfect example of why.
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That always sounds like good advice, but I tried some in the past just so the temptation wasn't there in the first place, and they all are far too eager with their blocking. It seriously makes doing non-porn activities a hassle when you have to try to circumvent the program so you can go read an article or watch a show.
S
No one mentinoned excercise. That helps too, though it is not enough either.
Well, that and the fact remains that if you set up the filter, then it's also quite easy to defeat it - and you're right, it's going to end up defeated pretty quickly. In order for them to work well they usually filter out legitimate content too.
Who said to marry to stop porn addiction?
And no, God isn't taking away any one's hormones. The trick is to pray like crazy and develop coping strategies to keep them in check. It can and does work provided the desire to change is there. It isn't necessarily instant, or easy, but it's possible.
But, yeah, it's always lurking under the surface if one decides to go to a dark place for some stupid reason (don't ask me how I know this).
God will give you what your heart wants if you want Him. If you don't want him, He can and does also allow people to wallow in their own filth if that's what they desire.
Well, that and the fact remains that if you set up the filter, then it's also quite easy to defeat it - and you're right, it's going to end up defeated pretty quickly. In order for them to work well they usually filter out legitimate content too.
Who said to marry to stop porn addiction?
And no, God isn't taking away any one's hormones. The trick is to pray like crazy and develop coping strategies to keep them in check. It can and does work provided the desire to change is there. It isn't necessarily instant, or easy, but it's possible.
But, yeah, it's always lurking under the surface if one decides to go to a dark place for some stupid reason (don't ask me how I know this).
God will give you what your heart wants if you want Him. If you don't want him, He can and does also allow people to wallow in their own filth if that's what they desire.
M
Hi sc,
I think if you pray & fast God will help you escape your struggle with a smile on your face. Fasting is in my eyes something on which we do not have an immediate grasp, so in seeking the essence of the fast I might find the true fast of the LORD -- via fervent & hopeful prayer, and not without His grace to me.
He gave us our bodies and souls and He can protect both.
I take Paul's concession (misread?) in 1 Corinthians 7 to mean that if we are in love and cannot fight it that we should marry, but if our focus on God is so that falling madly in love with someone else is kind of unmatchedly superceded, then there is nothing wrong with rolling that way. I easily agree. If so then we are free to fall in love, but it is death in sin to lust as we all do. We die to our lust, as opposed to dying in it, and more accurately we die to Christ? Don't know if I'm using that phrase correctly.
I think if you pray & fast God will help you escape your struggle with a smile on your face. Fasting is in my eyes something on which we do not have an immediate grasp, so in seeking the essence of the fast I might find the true fast of the LORD -- via fervent & hopeful prayer, and not without His grace to me.
He gave us our bodies and souls and He can protect both.
I take Paul's concession (misread?) in 1 Corinthians 7 to mean that if we are in love and cannot fight it that we should marry, but if our focus on God is so that falling madly in love with someone else is kind of unmatchedly superceded, then there is nothing wrong with rolling that way. I easily agree. If so then we are free to fall in love, but it is death in sin to lust as we all do. We die to our lust, as opposed to dying in it, and more accurately we die to Christ? Don't know if I'm using that phrase correctly.
R
Hey Justin,
I know this will sound hard, but personalise every porn actor/actress you view. God wants us all to be saved right? Everytime you watch one, even if it's afterwards, memorise their face and pray for them. In doing so you'll not only bring God right into the heart of the situation, you'll begin to place the value on them that God places on them. Someone he wants to be in a relationship with, just like he wants with you
Remember, we were all, and are all sinners. The big trouble is including God in that sin rather than isolating ourselves until we don't feel so guilty.
So:
(1) get God in on the act the moment you remember. Even if it's directly after the fact. Don't wait.
(2) personalise every porn actor/actress. pray that they would come to know God, even if it is literally directly after. Force yourself to do this and I believe it'll begin to help.
Blessings little bro,
~Rush
I know this will sound hard, but personalise every porn actor/actress you view. God wants us all to be saved right? Everytime you watch one, even if it's afterwards, memorise their face and pray for them. In doing so you'll not only bring God right into the heart of the situation, you'll begin to place the value on them that God places on them. Someone he wants to be in a relationship with, just like he wants with you
Remember, we were all, and are all sinners. The big trouble is including God in that sin rather than isolating ourselves until we don't feel so guilty.
So:
(1) get God in on the act the moment you remember. Even if it's directly after the fact. Don't wait.
(2) personalise every porn actor/actress. pray that they would come to know God, even if it is literally directly after. Force yourself to do this and I believe it'll begin to help.
Blessings little bro,
~Rush
The things that people have suggested here are helpful things as you're battling this, Justin, but the most significant step you can take in finding freedom from lust is to find a means of talking about this out loud with someone. I suggest two main ways to do that: First, find a male believer in your life that you trust to talk with about this and to confess your sin to. I know your first thought might be, "There's no way in heck that I'm going to tell anyone about this," but the reality is that if the person truly is a Christian who understands the gospel, they are going to admire you for being so brave in confessing that and they are going to want to help and encourage you. You will be amazed at the weight that is lifted off of your shoulders as you experience God's love and grace through another person's acceptance of you despite your sin. The longer and the more you keep your sin a secret, though, the more power it will have over you. And just so you know, I have a lot of admiration and respect for you reaching out and seeking help here. I just know that extending that into an active, in-person interaction with another guy is going to help so much.
The second outlet I would suggest is to find a Christian sexual addictions counselor to go to. It's great that you already recognize that you have become wrapped up in this because you struggle with having low self-worth. Counseling like that will help you so much in sorting out those thoughts, helping you to think more healthily and truthfully about yourself, and move you towards freedom. If you're open to doing the action steps that the counselor may ask you to do, I can almost guarantee that you will find freedom with the right counselor.
Last piece of advice: Never give up. You may have moments where you feel like you're at the end of your rope and you're never going to get free of this, but God is never going to give up on you, and the only way you can guarantee that you'll never make it is to give up. You've got to be in this for the long haul
"And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." - Philippians 1:6
The second outlet I would suggest is to find a Christian sexual addictions counselor to go to. It's great that you already recognize that you have become wrapped up in this because you struggle with having low self-worth. Counseling like that will help you so much in sorting out those thoughts, helping you to think more healthily and truthfully about yourself, and move you towards freedom. If you're open to doing the action steps that the counselor may ask you to do, I can almost guarantee that you will find freedom with the right counselor.
Last piece of advice: Never give up. You may have moments where you feel like you're at the end of your rope and you're never going to get free of this, but God is never going to give up on you, and the only way you can guarantee that you'll never make it is to give up. You've got to be in this for the long haul
"And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." - Philippians 1:6
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Think of the time you wasted looking at those images. What else could you have done with your free time....could you have beaten the next level of a video game, watched a new movie, worked on a hobby, etc?
You will see that it's so much better to get things done than to waste time on something that will ultimately bring you no joy. When I have found myself tempted and gave into temptation, I felt even more empty afterwards than before....there was no lasting joy, not even a second after I stopped.
You will see that it's so much better to get things done than to waste time on something that will ultimately bring you no joy. When I have found myself tempted and gave into temptation, I felt even more empty afterwards than before....there was no lasting joy, not even a second after I stopped.