Marrying because of your struggle with sex

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ArtsieSteph

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
#21
Apr 1, 2014
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#21
I think marrying a person BECAUSE the sex is wrong. I mean you ususally have to have sex to know if you want to marry that person because of it. I think you should love the person and sex be a plus lolol
 
IBDesmond

IBDesmond

Senior Member
#22
Jan 25, 2013
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#22
Nah I dont believe that about needing to have sex first
 
ArtsieSteph

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
#23
Apr 1, 2014
6,194
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Arizona
#23
IBDesmond said:
Nah I dont believe that about needing to have sex first
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No yeah neither do I at all. I'm all about purity before marriage, I think it's just that people who tend to marry for sex only tend to have already had sex first.
 
S

ServantStrike

Guest
#24
#24
ArtsieSteph said:
No yeah neither do I at all. I'm all about purity before marriage, I think it's just that people who tend to marry for sex only tend to have already had sex first.
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Eh, I've seen some who marry really young and have never had sex first. It's a 50/50 shot though whether they end up getting divorced later because they got married for a really dumb reason to begin with.
 
K

Keef

Guest
#25
#25
IBDesmond said:
I keep coming across the topic that if people are struggling with sexual immorality, impure thoughts, etc, they should get married because that's what the bible teaches.

Now, this is not a scripture that I have looked into but I can't help that think that this scripture (1 Corinthians 7:9) is being taken out of context.
The verse says:


But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry,
for it is better to marry than to burn with passion

​
Okay....here is my view of the scripture.
The verse says "they"...not "you". I believe that if a person is can't control himself, he should focus on God till the fruit of self-control blossoms in his life. He shouldn't enter in a relationship and get married. I won't even get into the verses the follow but I don't believe that a man or woman should marry because of their lack of self-control but if they are in a relationship with each other and they can't control themselves then....even that I struggle with. How much of a dysfunctional marriage will they have if the only reason they're together is because of sex? I can only see more harm than good.

Can you imagine talking to someone or even being that person yourself that says "Well the only reason we are married is because they couldn't control themselves. They were burning inside with lust and so it was easier for us to get married than for him to deal with his lust and to learn to control himself. Basically you would be nothing more than a sex object....like....if we really break it down to layman's terms...that's basically what you would be. An instrument for sex. You would only be there...for sex....how low would you feel? How devalued would you feel?

I think that telling people to marry if they can't control themselves is shocking advice. Absolutely shocking.

Discuss this with me people! Talk me through it!
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"Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."

1 Corinthians 7:8-9
 
IBDesmond

IBDesmond

Senior Member
#26
Jan 25, 2013
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#26
You're quoting the scripture I quoted....I don't see what you're getting at.
 
S

Sirk

Guest
#27
#27
I think marrying someone because of your struggle with sex is like having a child to "save your marriage". I think most guys struggle with sex and most women do as well. After all, it's the most intimate act that we engage in and therefore is the most vulnerable thing we can do....especially for women. If you marry to alleviate a certain sin issue or bad character trait you will only smuggle the baggage into your marriage and you will inevitably damage your spouse with your issue in some way.
 
IBDesmond

IBDesmond

Senior Member
#28
Jan 25, 2013
148
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#28
Sirk said:
I think marrying someone because of your struggle with sex is like having a child to "save your marriage". I think most guys struggle with sex and most women do as well. After all, it's the most intimate act that we engage in and therefore is the most vulnerable thing we can do....especially for women. If you marry to alleviate a certain sin issue or bad character trait you will only smuggle the baggage into your marriage and you will inevitably damage your spouse with your issue in some way.
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Exactly. If you struggle with sex in general, when you get married, having sex with your wife won't be enough. There won't be no loyalty there and most likely, you'll be content with sex no matter where it came from (cheating, lying, adultery, etc).
 
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