Question about Mariage and divorce and remarriage

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M

Medic90

Guest
#1
#1
Here is the scenario. Myself and a woman were married and tried to live a Godly life, Due to outside influences we divorced. We did not have biblical grounds for the divorce.
Now I am remarried and have felt something missing. I have prayed for guidance on this. I have prayed that God opens the doors that I should go through and to close doors that I shouldn’t. I’ve prayed for Him to make it obvious what I am to do. Many doors have been opened to reunite me with my first wife. She and I feel that maybe God would want to restore marriage #1.
Is it possible that marriage #2 is failing because marriage #1 was not supposed to end and that God wants the first marriage to be restored.
Thank you
 
S

Sirk

Guest
#2
#2
Looks to me like relationship is your "god". I feel for ya man.
 
J

Jacob_Fitzgerald

Guest
#3
#3
I am in no way qualified to talk about such a subject as I have always been single. So, I will make a recommendation that is not only good for you, but is also good for everyone. Read the Bible from Genesis up through Deuteronomy, and read the Gospels(Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John).

Sometimes when I have a difficult question that needs answering, I read the whole Bible in a specific search for the answer to my problem.

May the Lord show you the right way to walk,
Jacob
 
J

Jeff_56

Banned
#4
Dec 26, 2014
3,757
19
0
#4
in the world, you can do what you want to do. everyone else is.

in Christ Jesus, there are limits and boundaries and instructions for what God wants.
here is an example: (only one out of 2000 men, if that many, does what is right, according to the Bible).
(but the alternative, displeasing God, is still not life lengthening, if you get what i mean ! )

The Marriage Bed is Upside Down

"I must tell you at the beginning that I am a Student of the Bible and not a theologian. I follow Yah the Elohim (God) of Abraham and Yahshuah. I don't claim to be 100% correct and am open to your advice. "
 
Angela53510

Angela53510

Senior Member
#5
Jan 24, 2011
11,786
2,961
113
#5
I do not think it is scriptural to go back to your first wife.

"There is a law that if a man divorces a woman who then remarries, he is not to take her back again, for she has become corrupted. But though you have left me and married many lovers, yet I have invited you to come to me again, the Lord says." Jeremiah 3:1

Rather than letting your second marriage fail, seek marriage counseling, and cut off all contact with your first wife. (Unless you have to deal with her about children!) You are tempting yourself, but because you have remarried, you need to stop being motivated by feelings, but rather honour this second vow you made before God and people, and work things out.

Sorry to tell you this. I think you do need to put God first, and he will help you through this.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#6
Mar 13, 2014
42,717
17,176
113
70
Tennessee
#6
I don't believe at all that God wants you to now end your second marriage so that you can get back together with your first wife. What has your wife (present one) done that you would want to hurt her by treating her like yesterday's news. Forget about wife#1 and give your full love and attention to the woman that is now your wife.
 
notuptome

notuptome

Senior Member
#7
May 17, 2013
15,050
2,538
113
#7
Medic90 said:
Here is the scenario. Myself and a woman were married and tried to live a Godly life, Due to outside influences we divorced. We did not have biblical grounds for the divorce.
Now I am remarried and have felt something missing. I have prayed for guidance on this. I have prayed that God opens the doors that I should go through and to close doors that I shouldn’t. I’ve prayed for Him to make it obvious what I am to do. Many doors have been opened to reunite me with my first wife. She and I feel that maybe God would want to restore marriage #1.
Is it possible that marriage #2 is failing because marriage #1 was not supposed to end and that God wants the first marriage to be restored.
Thank you
Click to expand...
The only common denominator in these failing marriages is you. If you are going to crash and burn marriage number 2 then you should never remarry.

You simply do not have a true relationship with Christ that allows you to make and keep a covenant with another person. James says that a double minded man is unstable in all his ways.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
 
E

elf3

Guest
#8
#8
You won't like this because I do not candy coat things. I am being blunt straight forward and honest.

My first marriage ended in divorce. My ex gave me no other option as she refused counseling and everything. I am now remarried and yep we are having problems (most likely from both of us). What am I doing? Bringing it before God every day. Marriage isn't a game to be played and thrown away because we don't like a certain thing. Well if you truly trust God then bring it before Him. If you do decide to divorce and remarry your ex I would not be surprised if it ended the same way.

Yeah things in my marriage are kinda rocky. But because I am at total peace with God, only through Christ, I trust in Him. Until you are at peace with God you will never be at peace with anyone else.

Sorry cold hard truth!
 
Colorful

Colorful

Banned
#9
Dec 6, 2014
181
3
0
#9
Medic90 said:
Here is the scenario. Myself and a woman were married and tried to live a Godly life, Due to outside influences we divorced. We did not have biblical grounds for the divorce.
Now I am remarried and have felt something missing. I have prayed for guidance on this. I have prayed that God opens the doors that I should go through and to close doors that I shouldn’t. I’ve prayed for Him to make it obvious what I am to do. Many doors have been opened to reunite me with my first wife. She and I feel that maybe God would want to restore marriage #1.
Is it possible that marriage #2 is failing because marriage #1 was not supposed to end and that God wants the first marriage to be restored.
Thank you
Click to expand...
Possible? Sure... I suppose. I would probably lump that under "God working in mysterious ways" if that was the case though. It doesn't make much sense for wife #2 to be screwed over (unless God has this magical plan for her).

Just because something is possible, doesn't make it PROBABLE though. I'm not even sure if this is a serious question honestly. Is it possible God would command a man to kill his son? Sure, remember Abraham (yes yes... we know God stopped him from actually doing it). I would think the odds of that happening is pretty astronomically against your favor though.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#10
Mar 13, 2014
42,717
17,176
113
70
Tennessee
#10
notuptome said:
The only common denominator in these failing marriages is you. If you are going to crash and burn marriage number 2 then you should never remarry.

You simply do not have a true relationship with Christ that allows you to make and keep a covenant with another person. James says that a double minded man is unstable in all his ways.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
Click to expand...
We are in agreement on this, brother.
 
G

GOD_IS_LOVE

Senior Member
#11
Mar 16, 2009
306
4
18
#11
According to the Bible, if you and your first wife got divorced for reasons other than infidelity, you are now living in sin with your second wife. I think it would be a good idea to try and work things out with the woman who is your wife in the eyes of God, that being your first wife.
 
Colorful

Colorful

Banned
#12
Dec 6, 2014
181
3
0
#12
GOD_IS_LOVE said:
According to the Bible, if you and your first wife got divorced for reasons other than infidelity, you are now living in sin with your second wife. I think it would be a good idea to try and work things out with the woman who is your wife in the eyes of God, that being your first wife.
Click to expand...
And assuming this is his 2nd wife's FIRST marriage, is she going to live in sin too, assuming he gives her an "unbiblical divorce" (divorcing her not for adultery but so he can repair his 1st marriage) and she remarries?

Is she doomed to being without a companion for the rest of her days as she cannot remarry due to her first marriage being unjustified by the bible? If so, should she then try to gain her FIRST husband back so she can repair her first marriage? Do you see the circle here?
 
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S

Sirk

Guest
#13
#13
Relationships are hard and love is risky. Staying connected to his wife's heart in the midst of conflict should be the goal of every husband, but it is virtually impossible if your emotions vs God's truth rule the day.
 
E

elf3

Guest
#14
#14
This forum was started 12 hrs ago with a question and the person has not yet commented on any response. Makes me think he had his mind made was hoping to get others to say it was ok. Didn't quite get what he wanted so....left. He only wanted people to say "yes divorce your new wife go back to your old wife everything will be right with the world".

I pray I am wrong but I think he is gonna do it anyway. He just wanted to be told it's ok. Didn't quite happen. I pray for all of those involved as this could be a huge mess.
 
M

Medic90

Guest
#15
#15
Thank you for all your replies... This gives me more to think about..... I have prayed for restoration and for God to only open doors that He wants me to enter and to close the doors that He wants me to stay away from... So many doors have opened in regard to restoring the relationship with my first wife. I have spoken to several pastors and have gotten responses in both directions. I will continue to pray abut this and search for a peace in this situation....
 
G

GOD_IS_LOVE

Senior Member
#16
Mar 16, 2009
306
4
18
#16
Colorful said:
And assuming this is his 2nd wife's FIRST marriage, is she going to live in sin too, assuming he gives her an "unbiblical divorce" (divorcing her not for adultery but so he can repair his 1st marriage) and she remarries?
Click to expand...
No, she is living in sin with him at the moment. If she was a practicing Christian she should not have married him in the first place if she was aware of his situation but rather advise him to work things out with his wife.
 
iwant2serve

iwant2serve

Senior Member
#17
Apr 12, 2009
513
28
28
#17
Medic90 said:
Here is the scenario. Myself and a woman were married and tried to live a Godly life, Due to outside influences we divorced. We did not have biblical grounds for the divorce.
Now I am remarried and have felt something missing. I have prayed for guidance on this. I have prayed that God opens the doors that I should go through and to close doors that I shouldn’t. I’ve prayed for Him to make it obvious what I am to do. Many doors have been opened to reunite me with my first wife. She and I feel that maybe God would want to restore marriage #1.
Is it possible that marriage #2 is failing because marriage #1 was not supposed to end and that God wants the first marriage to be restored.
Thank you
Click to expand...
According to the Bible you are living in adultery
Mat 5:31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
Mat 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
Also look at Matt 19
 
iwant2serve

iwant2serve

Senior Member
#18
Apr 12, 2009
513
28
28
#18
Angela53510 said:
I do not think it is scriptural to go back to your first wife.

"There is a law that if a man divorces a woman who then remarries, he is not to take her back again, for she has become corrupted. But though you have left me and married many lovers, yet I have invited you to come to me again, the Lord says." Jeremiah 3:1

Rather than letting your second marriage fail, seek marriage counseling, and cut off all contact with your first wife. (Unless you have to deal with her about children!) You are tempting yourself, but because you have remarried, you need to stop being motivated by feelings, but rather honour this second vow you made before God and people, and work things out.

Sorry to tell you this. I think you do need to put God first, and he will help you through this.
Click to expand...
The second marriage is not a marriage according to the Bible and is not honored by God because it is sin adultery.
 
iwant2serve

iwant2serve

Senior Member
#19
Apr 12, 2009
513
28
28
#19
Medic now you have to search if you have to live your life as a single man because the bible does say you cannot remarry your wife is she has been remarried after divorce.
 
S

Sirk

Guest
#20
#20
iwant2serve said:
The second marriage is not a marriage according to the Bible and is not honored by God because it is sin adultery.
Click to expand...
No where does the bible call a second marriage invalid.
 
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