Those bolded parts are a bit troubling I feel for ya you gotta bunch of feelings you need too sort out. A lot of people young and old tend to place or base their happiness on others and it never fulfills them. You get it and then you want another cause it wasn't lasting as long as you wanted. Don't think a second child will fulfill your life it will bring a temporary happiness but it will wear off sooner or later and kids are not a source solely for happiness, in other words yes kids bring moments of joy that last a while maybe a few a lifetime but too base off that alone you will find yourself more unhappy in life. I challenge you to rethink things who are you? and who is responsible for your happiness?
A child gets a teddy bear for birthday, the child loves that bear, takes the bear everywhere, sleeps with the bear, eats with the bear and plays with the bear. The child and bear are inseparable. Now to that child that bear is EVERYTHING, it is what makes that child happy, it is what that child believes will make them happy. Take that bear away from that child and it will feel like the end of the world to that child, they will be devastated, hurt, and crushed. But we as adults know that the bear is nothing compared to the Big Picture. We know that the bear is but a temporary happiness, not a lasting happiness.
Likewise:
An adult gets a husband and kids, the adult loves that husband and her kids, takes care of the husband and kids, sleeps with the husband, cooks for and eats with the Husband and her kids and works and vacations with the family. The adult and her family are inseparable. Now to that adult that Family is EVERYTHING, it is what makes that adult happy, it is what that adult believes will make her happy. Take that family away from that adult and it will feel like the end of the world to that adult, she will be devastated, hurt, and crushed. But we as Spiritual know that the husband and kids is nothing compared to the Big Picture. We know that the family is but a temporary happiness, not a lasting happiness.
The Big Picture, is Where you spend eternity at. A lasting happiness is Jesus Christ inside of your heart.
i will tell you the Truth, even as a kid i wanted a family, a house with a white picked fence, and a garden, and kids running around and a wife who would love me. i married, it lasted ten years, and i was most unhappy. i have now been celibate for over 6 years now, and i am telling you the God's honest Truth, i have never been more happy in my entire life.
What i thought would make me happy was wrong, i thought having a family and kids, and a good job and a nice house, that that would make me happy. It did not make me happy. Jesus inside of my heart, has changed me. i am now happy. i do not desire to have someone, i never feel alone, or even lonely, and it is because of Him. i am content, and have a peace that surpasses all understanding, not because it is something that i have done, saving only that i realized that all i need is Jesus and nothing else, but is because of what He has done inside of me. i will tell you the Truth. Those who try to find happiness in ANYTHING other than Jesus Christ and His LOVE, will never find it. But when a person Truly finds happiness in Jesus Christ, they realize that EVERYTHING that they thought would make them happy (Husband, wife, kids, lands, Great Job, more money, bigger house, better car, bigger boobs, less weight, ANYTHING that YOU THINK will make you happy) is nothing but a teddy bear to that little child. Its when you realize that it is not the bear that makes you happy, and that happiness comes from within a persons heart, is when you can grow spiritually and then you will know what it means to be Truly Happy, even during the most trying of times here and now on the Earth.
