Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

[ChandlerFan]

(Not ignoring the first half of your post- I'm sorry that's happening and pray it will get better/get worked out for you, your dad, and the office manager woman. That all sounds like a lot of stress for a lot of people and I hope it gets resolved sooner rather than later.)

As to what you described as "generational sin"-

This, I can empathize with. It's very similar to what my husband is going through; he is very prone to angry outbursts and being easily frustrated at little things (I specifically recall a time he was trying to fix a space heater that kept making this high-pitched squealing noise, and he got really upset, hit the heater hard enough to break it, and walked out...in front of me and both kids). His dad is the same way, only worse- I've seen my father-in-law get so angry over the silliest things when he could have simply asked for help or took a minute to step away and think about it. I can't say whether his father was this way or not; he was a police officer and was killed during a seemingly routine traffic-stop when my father-in-law was a baby...but I imagine the temper has been passed down through at least a few generations. I already am dealing with it in both of my kids.

So here's what I want to say to you on that-
The fact that you recognize this in yourself, that you already realize how bad of a problem it can be, and that you are already trying to find ways to curb it, or even stop it from happening- that's huge. That's a highly commendable thing, and I know how difficult it can be from watching/helping my husband to get his temper under better control (and it certainly can be done, he's made amazing progress, and it sounds like you have as well, even if it's starting to crop up again).

I would say it's probably not the best idea to simply avoid ever feeling angry about anything- that sounds a lot like bottling it up, which might be why you're feeling the anger coming out again recently. It's not wrong to get angry about things, and it's not even wrong to feel really frustrated at something as silly as building a bookshelf- it's how you release that anger that matters. Yeah, blowing up and putting a hole in the wall...not great. It would certainly be a scary thing for a wife and kids to see (it IS scary to see that kind of outburst). But you can choose to walk away...to go outside...kick an old tire...cool down.

Everyone gets angry or frustrated sometimes. It's okay. And your future wife will probably understand that. But it's important to find a way to deal with those feelings that doesn't scare people, and doesn't require a repair job on your wall. I know you know that already; I hope you keep it in mind though, when you start getting down about letting your temper flare up.

Thank you for saying all of that. It's really easy to complain about singleness and whatnot, but I have to say that it's by God's grace that I made a mistake and put a hole in the wall now rather than down the line when I do have a family in the house too. You're totally right that bottling it up isn't good. I don't know, it was weird before. I guess I just decided I wasn't going to let things bother me, so it wasn't so much that I was feeling anger and suppressing it, but I just wasn't getting angry in the first place. It was crazy how I was able to flip a switch that way, but I felt awful about making my mom cry, and the first thing she did when she started crying was walk up and hug me. I guess that was powerful enough to cause a lasting change in me. I'm still nowhere near as bad as I was then in terms of being easily triggered. The hole-in-the-wall incident isn't normal for me either, but it was something that absolutely should have never happened in the first place. It was like as soon as I realized what I did, the thing I was mad about didn't matter anymore.

But you're so right, it's just about dealing with those feelings the right way. Taking five or ten minutes to sit outside and breathe and pray. And one thing that has helped me a lot in the past is practicing gratitude as well. It made a difference when instead of walking into my house thinking about how much the day sucked, I made myself think about the fact that I'm walking into a house...that I own...that is warm and contains food and clothing, plus other comforts that I don't need.

 

[blueorchidjd]

v

 

[CatHerder]

This last Sunday, I took a break during one of the sermons (since I had to play in all three services) and had a strange conversation with one of the scary church ladies:

her: you need to be our music director.

me: *laughing it off, since the position is filled* Thanks.

her: I'm serious!

me: Well. Some might have a problem with that. I'm not really a Lutheran.

her: nobody will care...wait...you're not Mormon, are you?

me: Heavens, no! I couldn't even handle ONE wife...besides, I'm drinking coffee. See?

her: Well besides Christ, we Lutherans promote coffee, music, wine, and food. Lots of food.

me: Those are some of my favorite things as well.

her: You're Lutheran. You just don't know it. Would you accept the position if offered?

me: sure

her: I'll talk to people...






to be continued?????

 

[lil_christian]

Thank you for saying all of that. It's really easy to complain about singleness and whatnot, but I have to say that it's by God's grace that I made a mistake and put a hole in the wall now rather than down the line when I do have a family in the house too. You're totally right that bottling it up isn't good. I don't know, it was weird before. I guess I just decided I wasn't going to let things bother me, so it wasn't so much that I was feeling anger and suppressing it, but I just wasn't getting angry in the first place. It was crazy how I was able to flip a switch that way, but I felt awful about making my mom cry, and the first thing she did when she started crying was walk up and hug me. I guess that was powerful enough to cause a lasting change in me. I'm still nowhere near as bad as I was then in terms of being easily triggered. The hole-in-the-wall incident isn't normal for me either, but it was something that absolutely should have never happened in the first place. It was like as soon as I realized what I did, the thing I was mad about didn't matter anymore.

But you're so right, it's just about dealing with those feelings the right way. Taking five or ten minutes to sit outside and breathe and pray. And one thing that has helped me a lot in the past is practicing gratitude as well. It made a difference when instead of walking into my house thinking about how much the day sucked, I made myself think about the fact that I'm walking into a house...that I own...that is warm and contains food and clothing, plus other comforts that I don't need.

If my Anger thread I made last month was still around these would have been good replies.


Also, Chandler, I'm very glad you're trying to address those anger issues. My dad gets angry over things like that, too. I almost made a thread recently asking about men and their anger, because I'm not one to stereotype, but guys do seem to be more prone to anger outbursts, and bad ones. I don't even think it's anything that's their fault, which doesn't necessarily excuse the behavior but makes it maybe more understandable.

My dad's anger is something I worry about these days. He has a girlfriend and they like each other a lot, but I'm worried about his anger issues getting in the way. But I'm also a delicate flower that wilts around stress and anger. I use to have anger issues, too. I was a very angry kid. Though nowadays I'm pretty chill.

I wonder what else besides prayer could we do to channel that anger into something more productive, like running a mile or crocheting. Lol I don't know, but maybe it's something we can all ask God about. As I've said before, I don't think anger itself is a sin, but the actions we commit in our anger is. Which it's scientifically proven our brains don't process things properly when we're angry, so it's a slippery slope. Just gotta remind ourselves of God's love for us and these feelings are temporary. This situation will pass. Right now we're upset, but things are going to be okay.

 

[Lynx]

It's a trap! Take a cue from the cats you herd and run for it!

 

[rachelsedge]

Do you ever run into those songs that cause you to indulge in a moment of escapism/daydreaming? I keep Spotify on shuffle, and a song that fit the atmosphere perfectly this morning caused me to zone out briefly. I tend to get lost in music that creates an air of melancholia.

Definitely. It's crazy how certain songs and music can instantly take you back to a memory or a feeling you had. Some songs for the worse...some for the better. But i do sometimes sit and let the memories flow.

And then sometimes I lose myself in certain bands in the sense that I stop what I'm doing and air guitar and drum when I am...supposed to be doing other things...sometimes the song just calls for it though, ya know?

 

[lil_christian]

This last Sunday, I took a break during one of the sermons (since I had to play in all three services) and had a strange conversation with one of the scary church ladies:

her: you need to be our music director.

me: *laughing it off, since the position is filled* Thanks.

her: I'm serious!

me: Well. Some might have a problem with that. I'm not really a Lutheran.

her: nobody will care...wait...you're not Mormon, are you?

me: Heavens, no! I couldn't even handle ONE wife...besides, I'm drinking coffee. See?

her: Well besides Christ, we Lutherans promote coffee, music, wine, and food. Lots of food.

me: Those are some of my favorite things as well.

her: You're Lutheran. You just don't know it. Would you accept the position if offered?

me: sure

her: I'll talk to people...






to be continued?????

Lol! That made me smile. "Besides Christ, we Lutherans promote coffee, music, wine, and food. Lots of food."

One of the colleges Ive been looking into is Lutheran. I think if that were all the requirements, I'd fit in quite nicely! XD Love Jesus, coffee, music,(no wine till I'm 21) and food and I'm good! Lol

 

[BugeyeSTi]

I almost made a thread recently asking about men and their anger, because I'm not one to stereotype, but guys do seem to be more prone to anger outbursts, and bad ones. I don't even think it's anything that's their fault, which doesn't necessarily excuse the behavior but makes it maybe more understandable.

Men aren't encouraged by society share their emotions, because it is viewed as a sign weakness. If you bottle emotions emotions instead of sharing them and dealing with them eventually something has give. What something does give, it usually "explodes", hence the anger outburst.

At least that's what I've seen in my life.

 

[Fenner]

What is it again you're gonna do?

I hope I'm not the only one who got this joke.

 

[DuchessAimee]

I'm full of Thai noodles and veggies, so I'm happy. Thank you people of Thailand for developing wonderful food.

 

[Siberian_Khatru]

I'm full of Thai noodles and veggies, so I'm happy. Thank you people of Thailand for developing wonderful food.

Mmm, especially curry and Thai tea.

 

[MissCris]

Winter is a lot easier to cope with when we have 45 degree days and I can open windows.

#yayforsunshineydays

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

I'm full of Thai noodles and veggies, so I'm happy. Thank you people of Thailand for developing wonderful food.

I had a Thai shrimp salad today. I have no idea what was in it, but it was wonderful too.

 

[blueorchidjd]

Drinking my coffee out of a dr. seuss mug today
I am what they call.
True adult.

*Beats chest*
hahaha

 

[ChandlerFan]

If my Anger thread I made last month was still around these would have been good replies.


Also, Chandler, I'm very glad you're trying to address those anger issues. My dad gets angry over things like that, too. I almost made a thread recently asking about men and their anger, because I'm not one to stereotype, but guys do seem to be more prone to anger outbursts, and bad ones. I don't even think it's anything that's their fault, which doesn't necessarily excuse the behavior but makes it maybe more understandable.

My dad's anger is something I worry about these days. He has a girlfriend and they like each other a lot, but I'm worried about his anger issues getting in the way. But I'm also a delicate flower that wilts around stress and anger. I use to have anger issues, too. I was a very angry kid. Though nowadays I'm pretty chill.

I wonder what else besides prayer could we do to channel that anger into something more productive, like running a mile or crocheting. Lol I don't know, but maybe it's something we can all ask God about. As I've said before, I don't think anger itself is a sin, but the actions we commit in our anger is. Which it's scientifically proven our brains don't process things properly when we're angry, so it's a slippery slope. Just gotta remind ourselves of God's love for us and these feelings are temporary. This situation will pass. Right now we're upset, but things are going to be okay.

I do think that it's a male thing, so I guess you could say it was a generational sin I've seen in my family, but it's a form of sin that runs through generations in general. I think some of it probably could be attributed to testosterone, but ultimately it's the individual who decides to lose control. There's no excuse for a bad attitude and temper tantrums, and I regret the times that I've had them.

I do think attitude is everything, though. I think there are all sorts of things that can help with diffusing. So the goal isn't to let the anger out necessarily, but to gradually cease being angry and, if possible, take steps to calmly address the problem to prevent future frustration. So getting someplace quiet helps a lot I think, taking a moment to gain perspective on things, praying for a change of heart, adjusting the attitude by focusing on the good, etc. Usually with a temper tantrum, the internal thought process is that this problem for me is an injustice, and something needs to pay for it. So it's just a matter of taking a step back, understanding that the problem isn't that big of a deal all things considered, and maintaining control. You only lose control if you give it away.

 

[MissCris]

Goal for this week:
Do something that makes sense.

 

[zaoman32]

wondering why Arwen's stream thread keeps going and my awkward moment thread just died

Not going to lie, I feel a twinge of jealousy

 

[CatHerder]

wondering why Arwen's stream thread keeps going and my awkward moment thread just died

Not going to lie, I feel a twinge of jealousy

maybe if you didn't keep leaving us, your threads would last a little longer.

oh, wait...

 

[Shouryu]

I'm full of Thai noodles and veggies, so I'm happy. Thank you people of Thailand for developing wonderful food.

You are most welcome. We do try.

I'm surprised that Angie-Like-Rain didn't have anything to say about the two Thai food experiences she had in El Paso. *smirk*

 

[JustAnotherUser]

You would think with the amount of coffee I've been consuming lately, I'd be full of energy and become motivated to the things that I'm literally avoiding to do and wanting to do other things besides them. Then I wonder why I get disappointed.

Speaking of which, a few weeks ago I said that I'd get myself into writing or blogging. I can think of one small project in mind and contemplated on for a short time, but it's something that I can't say I'm definite on or really know how to construct just yet. I will have it known if and when this said project will be done and see where it goes from there.

I'm also thinking of taking up something like photography as a pastime sort of thing. Maybe it can add depth with things that could be taken as a hobby as well as to somehow connect with some of the things I'm hoping will come to pass. Who knows. Now I just need to know what type of camera to get in order to make that possible.

A bit of a rambling/rant type of thing, which I told myself that I need to cut down on and possibly refrain unless it's completely necessary... But I can't help but feel that while everything else still needs to be changed around me and yet I restrain from doing such because of laziness or seemingly to be impossible to do, I can't help but feel a void inside that I'm trying to obtain through earthly things. We know on a Biblical viewpoint that it's not acceptable, in fact there's many things about me that are unacceptable and whether they are said or not does not matter anyway. Influences as well as unwanted but repeated habits are not helping me. In the end, I think I need a break even though I've said this in the past. -sighs-

Well, I'm done.